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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, how do i write a college essay about my identity.

My identity has played a big role in my life, and I want to write about it in my college essay. How can I approach this topic in a way that showcases who I am without sounding cliché or overly dramatic? Thanks for any suggestions!

Hello! I'm glad to see that you're considering writing about your identity, as it's an important part of who you are. To avoid sounding cliché or overly dramatic, there are a few tips I'd like to share with you.

First, focus on specific experiences or moments that have shaped your identity. Instead of making general statements, think about the events in your life that have had a significant impact on you and what you learned from them. This will help you tell a unique story that only you can tell.

Second, don't be afraid to be vulnerable. Sharing your personal thoughts and feelings can make your essay more engaging and relatable. For example, my child wrote about their experience as an immigrant, discussing the challenges they faced in adapting to a new culture and how it shaped their perspective on life.

Third, use vivid language and descriptive details to paint a picture for your reader. This will make your essay more memorable and allow your reader to connect with your story on a deeper level. For example, instead of just saying 'I felt out of place,' describe the physical and emotional sensations you experienced in that moment.

Finally, make sure to tie your identity back to your goals, values, or aspirations. Show how your identity has influenced your choices and what you hope to accomplish in the future. This will give your essay a sense of purpose and demonstrate your growth as an individual.

I hope these tips help you craft a compelling essay that showcases your unique identity. Best of luck with your college applications!

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College 101

Common app 1: background and identity.

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

The valedictorian at my school can play the trombone. She's a black belt in jiu-jitsu, and she invented a new way to keep bread fresh. She's pretty amazing, but I don't think she's that unusual. In the stack of essays being considered for admission, I would guess she's the rule more than the exception.

I haven't invented anything. I can only play the kazoo, and the only belt I own came free with the suit. What I have to offer isn't as obvious as most applicants, but what I represent is important. My generation is one raised by pop culture, and while denigrating it, scions of elder generations ignore one simple fact: today's pop culture manufactures tomorrow's legends.

How can an encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture contribute to a better way of life? Partly because this is the language of the future. I already speak it fluently, and any other ideas will be layered on top. The other reason is that although things like popular movies, books, and video games get dismissed, they actually have a lot to say.

While teachers might struggle to bring the story of Oedipus to modern students, I got what was going on quickly…because I watch Game of Thrones . The plotlines of incest and revenge, as well as defying the gods, are explored in great detail on the show. So when it came time to understand, I was able to map the characters onto one another, facilitating both my understanding and that of my friends, whom I could help with the reading.

Additionally, when I learned about the Wars of the Roses, it didn't take long for me to understand the importance of the Yorks and the Lancasters. I already had a window into both art and history from a television show, and my knowledge of it helped me understand both incarnations better.

It's not just facts and art that pop culture helps illuminate; most of my moral leaders have been fictional. Katniss Everdeen and Tony Stark both taught me about the importance of perseverance. Spider-Man's motto is "with great power comes great responsibility." The Terminator movies pressed the importance of preparing for the future while pointing out that the future is not set. While the teachers of these lessons might be unorthodox, they are the cornerstones of many religions and philosophies.

These stories are often rooted, consciously or not, in religion and folklore. When Captain America chooses not to fight his friend, instead literally turning the other cheek in the face of violence, not only do I understand the significance, but I am also able to point to a concrete place in space and time where this was the correct response.

Many people will agree that books, movies, and even television can contain lessons, but they still say to throw video games away. They call them a waste of time at best. This falls apart under a similar examination of the form.

The Assassin's Creed series, for example, taught me a bit about history. While I understand the Assassins and the Templar are not really secret societies fighting a millennia-old war, the people they run into are real. During the Revolution section in American History, I was the only one who knew minor players like Charles Lee and understood his significance. I also know names like Rodrigo Borgia, Robespierre, and Duleep Singh thanks to these games.

We all embrace what we love, and I have done that with the culture that has raised me. While I appreciate it on the surface level, as entertainment, I understand there is more to it. It has caused me to learn more than I would have in school. When I fight a new enemy in a historical game, I look him up.

Many of your applicants will run away from their time appreciating the mass art of their generation. Not me. I am fluent in the language of my time. I am uniquely suited to understanding and applying these concepts to higher learning. What you're getting with me is someone who will be able to bridge the gap between past and present, and apply their education to the future.

Why This Essay Works

This essay acknowledges the applicant's weaknesses from the beginning. By adopting a funny, self-deprecating attitude, the essay instantly stands out from the others around it. Although humor is there and is an integral part of the essay, it never takes over the narrative. It's used in the very beginning to separate itself from the pack, then moves into a more traditional inventory as it develops.

After humorously deconstructing the candidate's weaknesses, it moves into strengths. Many applicants don't know what their strengths are, and the purpose here is to show that even what you might regard as a weakness can be recast as a strength if you know how. Essentially, the writer declares a paradox in their thesis statement: all that time people say they wasted watching movie and playing video games is actually a strength.

The most important part is in the body, where the writer then backs up what they're saying. Making unfounded claims is good for attracting attention, but not so good for getting into college. The key is understanding what you've learned from your time enjoying culture. The writer then hits it, point by point, showing where movies, television, and video games have all made them a more ideal candidate for entry.

The conclusion dramatically restates the thesis, and includes the most stirring line at the end. This applicant is fluent in the language of today, and uses a rhythmic three-part statement on the end to drive the point home. This student knows they are not the traditional over-achiever that colleges are said to want; instead, they show that they're bold and innovative, two qualities that are irresistible.

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Identity College Essays Samples For Students

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Do you feel the need to examine some previously written College Essays on Identity before you begin writing an own piece? In this open-access directory of Identity College Essay examples, you are given a thrilling opportunity to examine meaningful topics, content structuring techniques, text flow, formatting styles, and other academically acclaimed writing practices. Implementing them while crafting your own Identity College Essay will definitely allow you to complete the piece faster.

Presenting high-quality samples isn't the only way our free essays service can help students in their writing endeavors – our experts can also create from scratch a fully customized College Essay on Identity that would make a strong foundation for your own academic work.

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Common App Essay Prompt 1: Background, Identity, Interest, or Talent

Mark montgomery.

July 6, 2023

common app essay prompt 1 background identity interest talent

Write The Common App Essay Prompt 1 – Background, Identity, Interest, or Talent

Common App Essay Prompt 1 reads like this: , “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

Essay Questions on the Common App

How will you decide whether this is the right prompt for you to address on your Common Application essay?

As high school seniors prepare to apply to college, they’re faced with the daunting task of writing an essay that will capture the attention of admissions officers and set them apart from the thousands of other applicants. Crafting a compelling narrative around their background story can be a powerful tool for students to showcase their individuality and leave a lasting impression on the admissions committee. The first prompt on the Common Application asks students to reflect on a various aspects of who they are as a person.

Actually, the prompt asks you to reflect on one of four different aspects of what makes you special: your background, your identity, and interest, or a talent.

As a reminder, here’s how Common App Prompt 1 reads:

To help you better understand how to address this prompt, I’ve highlighted the most important words in these two short sentences. I’m going to address each below—not in the order of their appearance—but in order of their importance.

Defining Key Terms in Common App Essay Prompt 1

College admissions people know that some people have an interesting background that is the source of their identity. When discussing your background in your college application essay, it’s important to keep in mind that this is a part of your humanity that you may not have chosen or may not be able to change. This background can be cultural, ethnic, familial, medical, physical, economic, or any other circumstances that affect their lives. There may be elements of this personal background or history that have shaped who you are today and can be acknowledged in your essay.

When writing about your background in response to the Common Application Essay, it’s important to consider how these experiences have shaped you as a person. Also, recognize that not everyone has the same experiences and opportunities. Your background may have presented you with unique challenges or obstacles to overcome, and this can demonstrate your resilience and adaptability. Sharing your background will provide insight into your personality, your values, and your goals.

By reflecting on your experiences, you may discover strengths or skills that you didn’t realize you had, or recognize areas where you still have room for growth. Ultimately, your background is a part of who you are, and by embracing and sharing it, you can show the admissions committee how you have been shaped by your unique background and what you can bring to their campus.

Your identity may be related to your background. However, your identity is different from your circumstances or history. Rather, your identity is how you define yourself. Certainly your background may be important, and may be one aspect of your identity. But if you want to focus on your identity for this prompt, you need to think about how you present yourself to the world. Perhaps your identity is something completely different from your background or history. We define our own identity, but our background can be how others see us.

So, if you want to focus on your identity for this prompt, ask yourself some questions. Who are you? What are you? What motivates you and drives you forward in life? How do you see yourself in the world? Your answers to these questions can reveal a lot about your character and the things that are most important to you. Take the time to reflect on what makes you who you are and use that understanding to craft a compelling and authentic essay that showcases your individuality.

To take it further, how does your identity demonstrate or determine other aspects of you as a person.

How does your identity reflect your values and beliefs? How does your identity guide your decisions and actions? By deepening your description of how your identity is important, you can take full advantage of this prompt and communicate who you are in a clear and compelling way.

An interest is something that captures your attention and holds your focus. It could be a hobby, a passion, a cause, or even an academic subject that you find fascinating. Your interest can show how you spend your free time, what you care about, and even how you approach challenges and opportunities. This is your chance to showcase your personality and individuality in a way your background, identity, or talent may not.

Even if your interest is not particularly unique, what’s important is that you are able to demonstrate how this interest has shaped you as a person and contributed to your growth and development. Think about what your interests say about you. Often, pursuing an interest requires dedication, commitment, and practice. By consistently engaging in an activity you’re passionate about, maybe you’ve learned discipline and time management.

Use this as an opportunity to reveal your personality and individuality beyond what may be listed on your resume. It’s important to keep in mind that your Common App Essay should add something new and unique to your application. You want to provide insight into your passions that aren’t already indicated on your application. Instead, consider writing about an interest that most people would not know you have. Demonstrate how this interest has shaped you as a person and provides insight into your unique character.

A talent is a natural ability or skill you possess in a certain area. This is similar to an interest, but it usually entails developing some sort of expertise or ability. It could be anything from music to math, writing to sports.

Perhaps you have taught yourself origami or how to knit—and you have developed this into a talent that allows you tomake things for your family and friends. Perhaps you have become excellent at woodworking or calligraphy, and have used this talent in some sort of interesting way. Your talent is something that sets you apart and showcases your unique abilities. However, just like with interests, it’s important to remember that your Common App Essay should add something new and different to your application.

When writing about your talent you want to be sure it’s a significant part of your identity or has had a profound impact on your life. Your essay should provide insight into the unique perspective and personal qualities that have been developed through the pursuit of your talent.

In choosing the focus of your essay, whether it be your background, identity, interest, or talent, it is crucial to consider its inherent meaning and significance to you.

For instance, while your background as someone who grew up in a small town may hold certain nostalgic memories and experiences, it may not hold the same level of personal meaning as your profound interest in military aircraft or prestidigitation. These other aspects of your humanity may be better vehicles to reveal unique aspects of your character and aspirations than to describe the experiences and memories associated with growing up in a small town.

Similarly, you might possess a unique talent like wiggling your ears, which undoubtedly showcases a delightful quirkiness. However, the true depth of meaning may lie within your identity as a jazz musician. It is through music that you find solace, self-expression, and a profound connection to yourself and others. This identity as a jazz musician will encapsulate the essence of who you are profoundly more than your ear-wiggling talent.

The key lies in identifying the specific background, identity, interest or talent that holds the most profound meaning and impact on your life. It’s important to recognize the intrinsic importance and significance of the chosen focus. By selecting the most meaningful element, you lay the foundation for an essay that resonates with true authenticity and leaves a lasting impression on the admissions officer.

When it comes to crafting a compelling Common Application Essay, the importance of storytelling cannot be overstated. Note that the last word of the prompt requests that you share a story . So even in identifying the background, identity, interest, or talent that helps your reader to understand the “real you,” your essay will be considerably strengthened if you are able to relay an anecdote or short vignette that illustrates this key attribute about yourself.

The story you share in your essay is important, but it’s important to remember that it’s only the jumping off point. It’s the springboard for the reflection that comes next. While this prompt asks for the story at the end, it’s likely that you’ll tell the story at the beginning of your essay. However, it’s the reflection on that story that will truly make your essay stand out.

Your story acts as a starting point in the essay, helping to shed light on the core significance of the chosen background, identity, interest, or talent. It allows the reader to understand why this aspect of your life is important and why they should be interested in learning more about it. The story serves as a catalyst, moving the essay forward and creating a foundation for a deeper exploration of how the chosen item has influenced your personal growth, values, or aspirations.

Your story doesn’t have to be dramatic or life-changing to be effective. It can be a small moment that had a big impact on you, or a series of events that taught you an important lesson. What matters is that it is personal to you and highlights something meaningful about who you are.

When brainstorming for your essay, take some time to reflect on your life experiences and think about the stories that stand out to you. Remember that it should have a clear beginning, middle, and end, allowing you to craft a cohesive narrative. By incorporating a well-structured story into your essay, you can illuminate the significance and impact of your chosen background, identity, interest, or talent. This understanding fosters a deeper appreciation for your unique perspective and cultivates a meaningful connection with your essay.

Incomplete Without it

Incomplete . This word carries significant weight in the context of your application. If your background or story does not truly contribute to shaping who you are, then perhaps your application can be considered “complete” without this particular narrative. In such cases, you should then be looking at other prompts for inspiration. If your background or story does not really help to shape your humanity, then perhaps your application is “complete” without this story. You should then be looking at other prompts for inspiration.

Similarly, this prompt offers you an opportunity to tell a story about yourself that is not related to your academic record or your primary extracurricular accomplishments. If you find that your response to this prompt is a restating or an amplification of something that is already found on your application, consider writing about something else.

For example, if you are an American attending a high school in Norway, your admissions officer will see that you are an American citizen, that you lived 12 years in the US before moving to Norway, and that you attended a Norwegian secondary school. If you want to write about growing up in Norway, be sure that you are providing information that captures your background or identity in a way that goes beyond your passport, visa status, and the location of your high school.

Similarly, if you have been captain of the debate team and won numerous tournaments, then you might not want to highlight your “interest” in debate in your essay. Instead, tell admissions something meaningful about yourself that they cannot see from reading the activity section of your application (and, perhaps, the recommendation letter from your debate coach).

The purpose of this essay prompt is to provide an opportunity for you to bring forth something fresh and distinctive to your application. You want to use your essay to bring something new to your application—something that is not already evident in the other elements (transcript, recommendations, honors, activities, and the like). The focus of this essay, then, should be something that is meaningful to you but that is not obvious.

Application forms often capture details such as ethnicity, hometown, and important activities, so it is crucial to go beyond these surface-level facts and reflect on what truly allows an admissions officer to authentically “KNOW” you. What sets you apart goes beyond these surface-level facts. What is the “hidden” information that admissions wouldn’t see unless you addressed it?

This prompt serves as an invitation to unveil the hidden layers of your humanity, illuminating the experiences, insights, and introspection that cannot be captured through your demographic information or checklist of achievements. The pivot of the essay should be something that reveals something personal or unusual about you that helps the reader put you in a new perspective, or that brings to light a hidden truth about you that will give context to the rest of your application.

Common App Essay Prompt 1 Overview

In choosing the focus of this prompt, whether it be your background, identity, interest, or talent, it is paramount to consider its inherent meaning and significance to you. This will ensure that your essay delves deep into the core aspects that define your unique journey and experiences.

Your essay should showcase your unique perspectives, values, and beliefs that have made you who you are today, in a clear and understandable way. Use your story as a jumping off point for your reflection.

As you embark on this writing endeavor, keep in mind that the goal of this essay is to bring something new and meaningful to your application, something that helps the reader understand you better and highlights your individuality. Your application is incomplete without this aspect—whether it’s your background, identity, interest, or talent—that contributes significantly to shaping who you are.

In our next post, we’ll be discussing the second prompt which explores a topic that many of us try to avoid but inevitably encounter: failure .

Essay Ideas About A Background, Identity, Interest, or Talent That Worked

Through our extensive experience working with countless students, we have seen many captivating essays. These narratives showcase the profound impact of personal experiences, offering a deeper understanding of their perspective. The essays below exemplify how individuals skillfully incorporate their background, identity, interests, or talent to create compelling narratives.

This example exemplifies a student’s profound interest in magic, crafting a story of resilience and self-acceptance. Their essay reveals how their passion for magic is an integral part of their identity , making their application feel incomplete without sharing this significant aspect of their life. The student demonstrates the significance of embracing personal passions and finding fulfillment in activities that may be deemed unconventional or uncool by societal standards.
This student’s essay showcases his deep interest in mythology, while creating a captivating story that reflects his identity and personal growth. It demonstrates his ability to craft a captivating story that reveals his unique spirit and personal growth but also highlights the invaluable insight that admissions would not have otherwise known.

Dos and Don’ts for Common App Essay Prompt 1

Don’t write about your interest or talent in football if your Common App activities already indicate you are captain of the team and won the state championship: your interest is fully indicated in the activities section of the application.

Don’t write about the fact that you are Chinese if your name is Wong or about being Latino if your name is Gonzalez. Our ethnicity is a fact of our existence. It is a statement of our genetic code and ancestry. And it can be very important—or not important at all, depending on the circumstances or context. For instance, it could be important to write about being Chinese if your family is the only Asian family in your small town in Montana. Being “Latino” is not as specific as being a refugee from Venezuela or the child of a Mexican businessman who grew up in Singapore. The point is our ethnicity is not really all that interesting by itself. If you are writing about your “background,” try to get much more specific and more focused on your individuality.

Do write about the fact that you spend hours and hours perfecting your juggling or yoyo talents–especially if that is not listed as an activity on your application.

Do write about your interest in fishing if it is something you do a lot but more as a hobby–and is not a part of your resume.

Do write about your life growing up in a particular place or neighborhood that has helped to define your values, your priorities, your ambitions, or academic plan.

The point is to ADD to your application by providing new and different information that helps round you out as a person. The application tends to be fairly two-dimensional, so this essay (and any responding to a different prompt, frankly) is meant to provide context to the rest of your resume.

Need Help With Your Common App Essay Prompt 1?

Yes, you can certainly get help with your Common App essay! Writing a strong college essay can be a challenging and intimidating process, and it’s perfectly normal to seek guidance and support along the way.

At Great College Advice, we offer a wide range of services designed to help students with every aspect of the college application process, including writing and revising their Common App essay. Our team of experienced counselors and writing coaches can provide personalized feedback, guidance, and support to help you craft an essay that is compelling, authentic, and effective.

Whether you need help generating ideas, organizing your thoughts, or polishing your final draft, we are here to help. We offer a variety of service packages to fit your specific needs and budget, including comprehensive application counseling, essay coaching, and hourly consultations.

Additional Resources for Common App Essay Prompt 1

In this informative video, Dr. Mark Montgomery provides valuable insights and guidance on how to approach the Common App essay prompt 1. He takes you through the entire writing process and gives tips on how to clearly communicate your individuality and showcase your unique perspectives, talents, and interests.

For additional writing help, check out our Common App Essay Series for in-depth guidance on various topics. Our expert tips and insights will help you showcase your unique experiences and perspectives in a compelling way. Whether you’re just starting your essay or simply refining it, our series is designed to help you every step of the writing process. Make your Common App Essay stand out!

Common Application Essays: What are they?
Writing about Background Story
Writing About Failure
Writing about Questioning Beliefs and Ideas
Writing about a Period of Personal Growth
Supplemental Essays
Why Our College? – Supplemental Essay Question

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A Reflection on My Personal Identity

Categories: Personal Identity Self Identity

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Published: May 7, 2019

Words: 536 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Identity Reflection (essay)

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Best Psychology Essay Examples

Identity essay.

971 words | 4 page(s)

Individuals establish their own identities throughout the life span through growth, maturity, and development in different areas. Marcia’s concepts of identity achievement, identity foreclosure, identity moratorium, and identity diffusion were created to better understand the evolution of ego identity and how individuals distinguish their shifting commitment to ideas during late adolescence (Marcia, 1966). The concepts that are associated with these parameters are important because they convey the realities of developing an identity that an adolescent will carry and build upon throughout his or her life (Marcia, 1966). For this discussion, I have selected the career and educational aspects of identity formation to understand my own trajectory and identity development which impacts my own decision-making and path through life.

Identity Achievement I was born in Poland in 1970, began Kindergarten in 1976, attended elementary school from 1977-1985, and high school from 1985-1989. During elementary school and into high school, I slowly began to realize the career path that I wanted to pursue in nursing after recognizing that other careers might not be suited for me. This was my identity achievement period and enabled me to reaffirm my decision to enter nursing school in 1989. At the time, I believed that this was the best option for me because I wanted to help other people and provide care in their time of need. In some ways, I was in a position to make a decision on my own terms and did not have any pushback or resistance from family members at this stage. Therefore, my identity achievement was real and was solidified and I was proving myself as a good student with no learning difficulties that could hold me back at this stage.

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Identity Foreclosure Between 1991 after graduation and up until 2005, I worked as a Registered Nurse in Poland and was promoted to a nursing manager for the operating room for two years. During this period, I enjoyed my role and was committed to the process; however, I also believed that there might be something more for me elsewhere (Marcia, 1966). During this period, I was content in my career but wondered if there were possibilities beyond where I was currently working and perhaps in another country that would be more satisfactory and would provide me greater contentment. This led me to a crossroads in my life that required further evaluation.

Identity Diffusion At this stage of my life, I believed that by moving to the United States, I was in a better position to succeed in the land of opportunity. In this new country, I could find myself in a role that would be more satisfactory and which could impact my life more effectively. However, I could not immediately enter the country as an RN because I lacked the credentials and licensure to perform in this role. Therefore, I sought to learn English to communicate with my children’s teachers and to prepare myself to work in the nursing profession in the United States. This was a transition period of sorts and provided me with the tools that were required to gain comfort in my new surroundings before I reentered the nursing workplace.

Identity Moratorium I experienced a moratorium of sorts when I made the decision to reenter the nursing workforce in the United States. This required much preparation on my part, including a nursing refresher course to prepare myself for the NCLEX examination. Once I passed this exam and became an RN, I was in another difficult position because I had not earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing, which was desirable for many employers and would be more attractive on my resume. It was during this period that I enrolled in a BSN program, which was difficult because I was married with two children. During this period, I reentered the identity achievement stage because this was a new phase of my life that would allow me to experience new opportunities for growth and professional development.

Summary My education has been critical to my success to date and has enabled me to secure a position in a hospital as an RN. I believe that education is critical to my own identity and has enabled me to move forward in my career and has set an example for others to follow. This has been largely influential in my efforts to be a successful mother, wife, and nurse. My evolution continues as an adult and has been instrumental in my ability to be successful both in my educational and nursing career path (Fadjukoff & Kroger, 2016). At the same time, my family has been largely supportive in allowing me to develop my educational and career identity over the years and has been instrumental in my success to date (Syed & Seifge-Krenke, 2013). These issues have been important to me as I move forward with my life and have been largely influential in shaping my decision to relocate to the United States for better opportunities and greater professional growth.

Conclusion Marcia’s concepts of identity development are essential to self-discovery and growth in a variety of areas. My career and educational paths have taken many roads, including achievement, foreclosure, diffusion, and moratorium, and I have been successful in reaching many of my goals and objectives while I grow and thrive as a human being. These phases of my identity development have shaped who I am today and have provided me with the tools to achieve success and to make a difference in the lives of my patients and my family in many different ways throughout my experiences.

Marcia, J. (1966). Development and validation of ego-identity status. Journal of Personality And Social Psychology, 3(5), 551-558.

adulthood: linking trajectories of ego development to the family context and identity

formation. Journal of personality and social psychology, 104(2), 371.

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3 Strong NYU Diversity Essay Examples

New York University (NYU) is an extremely selective school, so it’s important to write strong essays that help your application stand out. In this post, we’ll share some essays real students have submitted for NYU’s Diversity prompt and outline their strengths and areas of improvement.

(Names and identifying information have been changed, but all other details are preserved.)

Note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be beneficial to get inspiration for your essays, but you should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarize.

Read our NYU essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

NYU Diversity Prompt

The following essays respond to this prompt:

NYU was founded on the belief that a student’s identity should not dictate the ability for them to access higher education. That sense of opportunity for all students, of all backgrounds, remains a part of who we are today and a critical part of what makes us a world class university. Our community embraces diversity, in all its forms, as a cornerstone of the NYU experience. We would like to better understand how your experiences would help us to shape and grow our diverse community. Please respond in 250 words or less.

This is the classic Diversity Essay , which asks students to share what makes them unique. While diversity is most commonly associated with ethnicity, culture, and identity, keep in mind that it also encompasses:

Interests, hobbies, and talents
Perspectives, values, and opinions
Experiences
Personality traits

With that, let’s dive into the student examples!

Example 1 – Life as an Indian-Muslim

Growing up in America as an Indian-Muslim, I am constantly reminded of my minority status. As a child, the only outlet I had from this feeling was traveling back to India; the secluded family farm welcomed me with the pungent aroma of Indian spices and the constant chatter of relatives always brought me comfort. However, as governments changed and the anti-Muslim sentiment in India grew, an insecurity in my identity began to form. Loud riots exploded and brutal attacks on Muslim families made it clear that I was no longer welcome in a country which once felt like home. Living in a world which never regarded me as part of the majority led me to turn to writing as the cornerstone of my cultural expression.

Reporting through the general and Islamic publications at NYU, including the Aftab Arts and Literature publication, is how I plan to use my seven years of prior experience in journalism to shape the diverse community at NYU. It is imperative that I not only raise a voice of representation for the miniscule percentage of Indian-Muslim students, but also give the larger NYU community unbiased reporting on Muslim concerns. Being a voice for Muslims in the media is essential to combating Islamophobia, especially since 9/11, as media propaganda has instilled a deadly bias against Muslims.

At NYU, where almost every country in the world is represented, I will be able to learn about other unique cultures and expand the community by educating on my own.

What the Essay Did Well

This student does a great job of answering this NYU-specific Diversity Prompt , specifically through their clear, engaging structure.

The prompt is two-pronged. Students must describe:

1) their diverse background or experience, and

2) how their diverse background or experience will improve the community at NYU.

In this essay, the student answers the first question in their first paragraph and the second question in their second paragraph. They connect the paragraphs with a strong transition sentence that takes us from their past experiences to the future experiences they hope to have at NYU: “Living in a world which never regarded me as part of the majority led me to turn to writing as the cornerstone of my cultural expression.”

On a smaller scale, the first paragraph is structured by a beautiful narrative arc. This student struggled with cultural expression growing up, so they enjoyed traveling back to India where they felt comfortable, but then Indian political activity made India less comfortable, and ultimately they turned to writing, rather than a place, as their preferred form of cultural expression. Their story is easy to follow, yet detailed, with compelling lines like “the pungent aroma of Indian spices and the constant chatter of relatives always brought me comfort” ensuring the reader doesn’t lose focus.

In addition to providing an engaging essay scaffolding, this student does a great job of making themself seem engaging by sharing their thoughts on the Indian-Muslim experience. Their reflections on the Indian government’s views on Islam, and the relationship between media, 9/11, and Islamophobia are brief by necessity, but nonetheless show this student has strong critical thinking skills, and would have a lot to teach their peers at NYU.

Finally, the student explains in concrete terms why they would be a valuable addition to the NYU community. In the sentence “Reporting through the general and Islamic publications at NYU, including the Aftab Arts and Literature publication, is how I plan to use my seven years of prior experience in journalism to shape the diverse community at NYU,” they both subtly reference their past accomplishments and paint a picture of how they’ll use NYU’s resources to continue building on those achievements.

What Could Be Improved

While this essay is both personal and compelling, there are two changes the student could make to take their writing to the next level.

Firstly, the student’s topic is emotional, but they don’t express much emotion in their writing. For example, they write “the only outlet I had from this feeling was traveling back to India,” but we are left wondering what “this feeling” was.

Some small adjustments could help readers better understand the student’s emotions. For example, they could change their first sentence to “Growing up in America as an Indian-Muslim has been painful, which has made me feel conflicted about my minority status” or “Growing up in America as an Indian-Muslim has been isolating, which has made me resent my minority status.”

Additionally, as they write about the effect of the anti-Muslim attacks in India on their cultural identity, they could add a sentence describing their emotions. For example:

“Loud riots exploded and brutal attacks on Muslim families made it clear that I was no longer welcome in a country that once felt like home. At the same time, the country that is my home has always been fond of profiling my family as terrorists, when they are the ones who force us to live in constant fear. Living in a world that never regarded me as part of the majority led me to turn to writing as the cornerstone of my cultural expression.”

Secondly, because the student does such a great job of responding to the prompt in their first two paragraphs, the concluding sentence “At NYU, where almost every country in the world is represented, I will be able to learn about other unique cultures and expand the community by educating on my own” is unnecessary. We are already convinced that they will expand the NYU community. Instead, these words can be reallocated to adding sentences with emotional valence.

Example 2 – Santa’s Not Real!

When I was four, my parents told me that Santa wasn’t real. This wasn’t shocking because I was Jewish, and my parents never perpetuated the idea that an old man snuck into our house to deliver presents. But, in December 2009, they gave me paramount instructions. I could not tell any of my friends the truth about Santa. The innocence of my pre-K peers was in my hands, so I promised never to reveal this colossal secret. However, every Christmas, I would feel isolated from my Christian friends. Annually, I was told how terrible it was that I didn’t celebrate.

For a while, I felt terrible too, and the isolation only persisted as I got older. At thirteen, I began fasting for Yom Kippur, so I would miss that day of school. However, my teachers would always manage to schedule a test that I would be forced to miss. This was infuriating. But, in the heat of my anger, I realized something. My Southern community wasn’t targeting Jewish people. They were just ignorant of cultures different from their own.

This realization made me value the importance of celebrating cultural diversity. No one should ever feel isolated because of their differences.

This essay does a great job of drawing us in with its first sentence. To most American readers, the sentence “When I was four, my parents told me that Santa wasn’t real” is intriguing. Finding out that Santa isn’t real is a universal experience that binds most of us, so we want to know why this student was told at such a young age.

Another strength of this essay is the student’s charming use of language. For example, the student cleverly describes Santa: “my parents never perpetuated the idea that an old man snuck into our house to deliver presents.” Similarly, the sentence “The innocence of my pre-K peers was in my hands” is funny.

Lastly, this student does a good job of pointing out their identity. While admissions officers have access to the name of this student’s high school, without being specifically reminded that the student grew up Jewish in the South, they likely would not have put that together. The sentence “My Southern community wasn’t targeting Jewish people” brings attention to this student’s complex identity.

The main issue with this essay is that it does not flow. This is attributable to a lack of structure.

The student begins with the Santa anecdote, which is explored for four sentences (more than a “hook” normally gets), but oddly, does not turn into the focus of the essay. Instead, the student abruptly moves to discuss other experiences when they felt isolated due to being Jewish. For this anecdote to be effective, the student needs to do one of two things: focus it or connect it.

With the “focus it” method, the student would finish the Santa anecdote, then use the rest of the essay to reflect on how the anecdote shows their values or approach to diversity. This could look like:

“When I was four, my parents told me that Santa wasn’t real. This wasn’t shocking because I was Jewish, and my parents never perpetuated the idea that an old man snuck into our house to deliver presents. But, in December 2009, they gave me paramount instructions. I could not tell any of my friends the truth about Santa. The innocence of my pre-K peers was in my hands, so I promised never to reveal this colossal secret. Unfortunately, my pre-K self was chatty and didn’t understand that the Santa secret would hurt my friends if I told them, and I ended up telling Natalia Huckabee. Natalia’s mom called my mom and explained the importance of us respecting each other’s differences and my mom was mortified.

Since then, it has been very important to me that I respect the beliefs of people around me and that they respect my Jewish identity… “

For the “connect it” method, the student would shorten their Santa anecdote, connect it to other anecdotes about feeling isolated, then reflect on how that isolation affects their worldview. This would look like:

“My Jewish parents never perpetuated the idea that an old man snuck into our house to deliver presents. Actually, at the ripe age of four, they sat me down and told me that Santa wasn’t real. In that same sitting, they gave me very specific instructions: I could not tell any of my friends the truth about Santa. I just had to say that Santa didn’t visit Jews.

Each year, I was told a million times how terrible it was that I didn’t get presents from Santa. Each year, I missed four to seven tests for Jewish holidays. Each year, I… “

Either way, the anecdote should be followed by reflection. Currently, this student’s introspective musings feel surface-level and are not compelling. They include “For a while, I felt terrible too” and “This was infuriating.”

Similarly, the conclusions they draw about the importance of diversity lack nuance and do not show a capacity for deep thought. These include “I realized something. My Southern community wasn’t targeting Jewish people. They were just ignorant of cultures different from their own” and “No one should ever feel isolated because of their differences.”

Dedicating a few sentences specifically to deep reflection would allow the student to explore their identity with more authenticity and would help admissions officers get to know them.

Lastly, this student completely fails to answer a core element of this prompt: “ We would like to better understand how your experiences would help us to shape and grow our diverse community.” The student does not say anything about NYU, the NYU community, or how they will contribute to the NYU community.

For any Diversity Essay , it is extremely important to write about how your diversity shapes your outlook and actions. Specifically with this prompt, the student should forecast how their diversity would play out at NYU. They could describe their plans to start a club, participate in a specific research initiative, or get involved with activism.

Example 3 – Doc McStuffins

“The Doc is in, and she’ll fix you up!”

Why was it okay for McStuffins to be both black and intelligent in her world, but it was so rare in mine? Based on assumption, I was shoved into intervention groups without proper assessment, causing me to avoid participation in class. At least until I discovered my true passion — Biology.

While my teachers discouraged me from STEM, my ever-curious mind gravitated towards it, yearning to learn more. I memorized each detail of what I was given, grinning as I recited cell systems and organelles. I now hold an internship investigating DNA editing technology (CRISPR), working to alter DNA of ailments through laboratory work and qualitative analysis. Somehow, seeing a 7-year-old girl wipe jam off a frantic doll, convinced it was bleeding, motivated me to dive head-first into the world of science.

Diversity in science is incredibly significant, but how can there be diversity if non-conventional scientists are discouraged? NYU values the importance of diversity, making it the school for me. At NYU I will join Blackademics and, I will form a podcast for women of color to talk about their experiences with commonly faced educational setbacks. As someone encouraged by seeing representation, I deeply understand the excitement that seeing someone like you doing “atypical” things can bring. Through NYU courses like Intergroup Dialogue, I will hold a similar influence that Doc McStuffins had on me towards others.

This is an example of a hook-done-right. The essay starts with a quote from the Doc McStuffins theme song, which (whether you’re familiar with Doc McStuffins or not) reads as sweet and endearing. Then, she uses a provocative question to connect the quote to her own experiences, which serves as a transition to the bulk of the essay, which is about her experiences.

This student centers her essay around a specific theme: representation. A common error in college essay writing is the failure to stay focused, but she successfully uses her theme to anchor her essay. Her hook is about representation , her setbacks are about representation , and she wants to get involved in specific NYU activities to improve representation .

Lastly, and extremely importantly, this student thoroughly answers the prompt. She is asked how her diverse experiences will improve the NYU community, and she explains how her experience growing up as a young, Black woman — interested in STEM but shut out from STEM — will motivate her to work towards equal representation at NYU.

This student’s main area for improvement has to do with her integration of the Doc McStuffins hook. Simply put, Doc McStuffins is referenced too much in her later paragraphs. With a limited word count, every sentence is a resource, and the majority of sentences should go toward a student’s values and personality.

Here, we would suggest that “Somehow, seeing a 7-year-old girl wipe jam off a frantic doll, convinced it was bleeding, motivated me to dive head-first into the world of science” be replaced with a sentence describing the student’s emotions about her success in STEM. Throughlines are great, but connecting every paragraph back to your hook is repetitive.

Additionally, the aforementioned sentence is not easily digestible. Unless your reader is extremely familiar with Doc McStuffins, it will probably take them a minute to figure out who the 7-year-old girl is and what jam blood has to do with anything. This same issue presents itself in the sentence “Based on assumption, I was shoved into intervention groups without proper assessment, causing me to avoid participation in class,” which is hard to understand.

Read through your essay to ensure that all of your sentences make sense, no matter the knowledge level of the person reading. Run your essay by friends and family, and specifically ask them to flag areas that they think might be confusing.

Where to Get Feedback on Your Essay

Want feedback on your NYU diversity essay before you submit? That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!