Masters Degree Creative Writing: A Journal

Studying the craft of writing

An Example Critical Commentary

Our latest assignments came back within four days of submission—a fast turnaround. Mine scored a high merit. Its main weaknesses were:

  • I should have mentioned more works of dystopian literature, rather than other media such as film and television drama. I had brought in the other media because part of the essay relates to how ‘script’ has influenced my work. There had been a reference to Fahrenheit 451 which I removed to save words, and I couldn’t talk about Brave New World or The Handmaid’s Tale because I discussed them in TMA 3. Instead, I focused on 1984 with mention of Vox and The Circle. If I had the chance to rewrite this, I would cut out references to film structure and replace them with more analysis of dystopian literature.
  • The essay talks about characterisation and narrative voice, before appearing to return to character, which the tutor felt showed a lack of control. I had meant the last discussion about ‘psychic distance’ to be part of the point-of-view section rather than character, but obviously that didn’t come across.
  • The word count was dangerously close. Agreed! Our essay was meant to be 3,000 words, with a 10% leeway either side. That means we could write between 2,700 and 3,300 words. I went up to 3,300. Once, on a course years ago, a tutor told me I could have used the word limit to expand an argument, but generally tutors don’t like it (more work for them), and going right up to the limit is dangerous as word processors count differently.
  • This didn’t affect me, but I heard from someone else who wrote too much about the influence of another genre—creative nonfiction—and was marked right down for it.

I’m including my TMA below in the hope that it might help people next year. We had no examples to go on this time—just very broad guidance notes, which makes it difficult to know what’s expected. Bear in mind that every tutor is different.

The names of other students are masked to protect their privacy.

TMA 06: A Critical Commentary

My EMA project continues a theme that I’ve been following throughout the Masters, beginning with The Sponsor (Daykin, 2017). It involves looking at modern cultural trends and spinning a narrative about the future. The Sponsor dealt with the social effects of automation. All Souls (Daykin, 2018a) explored how social media can empower toxic ideologies. Rebel Generation (Daykin, 2018b) asked what would happen if the elderly drastically outnumbered the young. My latest project, True Britain (Daykin, 2019c), is inspired by current political developments and predicts a swing to authoritarian government. Below, I will refer to these pieces and two stories outside the dystopian genre, Child of the Moors ( Daykin, 2019a) and The Grey Runner (Daykin, 2019b). In demonstrating how my writing has evolved, I focus on awareness of genre, character, narrative modes and the influence of script and creative nonfiction. I will show how feedback from others and the habit of ‘reading as a writer’ have informed my work.

For this project, I chose to write the opening of a novel. I had found the short story format insufficient to explore complex ideas in speculative fiction. Writing All Souls, for example, I struggled to provide a satisfactory ending, and a reviewer commented that the story ‘opened some doors to interesting social themes, but did not really engage with these themes in any depth’ (X, 2018). With True Britain, I am writing a much longer narrative exploring politics and history. As the project has to be seen in the context of the novel, some plot points not included in the EMA will be described here to explain decisions I have made.

A writer needs to be aware of the elements of genre, as readers have expectations about character, writing and plot (Neale, 2009, p3). Previously, I wrote intuitively without studying the conventions of genre. The Sponsor must have been inexact in its genre, as one reviewer asked if it was science fiction (XXXX, 2017). Dystopia is a subgenre of science fiction ‘because it depicts future fictive societies’ (Utopia and Dystopia, 2019), but in order for fiction to be clearly dystopian, certain elements have to be in place. One of these is that it is ‘built on the imperfections of the author’s world, created to be considerably worse’ (Ezzi, 2018). The intention of The Sponsor was to take current technological trends to their logical conclusion. In retrospect, the links to today’s society could have been emphasised more clearly, as I am attempting to do in True Britain .

I submitted two different openings of True Britain for peer review. The original began almost in media res, with a brief scene occurring before the army descended on Jake’s estate. Reviewers understood that this was a dystopia, but felt that the message and background were not clear (XXXX, 2019). My second attempt made Emily the character in focus, showing through her role as a teacher how the regime was indoctrinating the young. This provided more opportunity to demonstrate how and why Britain evolved from the present to a quasi-dictatorship. I conveyed information through a classroom debate on ‘favourite prime ministers’, but this extract was heavy in exposition, over-emphasising dialogue and giving the story a didactic, repetitive feel (XXXX, 2019b). Successful dystopias tend to introduce their circumstances through action. For example, in 1984 (Orwell, 1989) Orwell conveys the impoverished, oppressive nature of his society by following Winston Smith as he returns home. Orwell also inserts long extracts from another text which further explain the dystopia, but this seems a risky strategy as it stalls the action, and I have decided against using this technique in True Britain. Jake and Emily have more freedom to show their world through action than Smith.

One reviewer asked how True Britain would be ‘developed and distinguished from other fictions set in dystopian near futures’ (XXXX, 2019). One way I tried to achieve this was by blending genres. Once genre is understood, playing with it can ‘fuel reading enjoyment’ (Anderson, 2006, p162) and mixing genres has become more popular in publishing (Coles, 2019). True Britain is primarily a dystopia, but it includes elements of the action genre, and also weaves in brief historical passages written by a main character, Emily. Emily not only teaches history but identifies herself and others with its stories—an image of Elizabeth I in battle dress hangs by her desk, and she pictures other characters as Victorian waifs or Medieval scholars. Her historical fiction is included as a nested narrative, underscoring a central idea—that nothing is inevitable. In giving this importance to history, I drew inspiration from The Secret History (Tartt, 1993), a modern day detective story with characters immersed in the culture of the ancient past.

Soon after I had begun my project, I had the opportunity of comparing it with a near future scenario broadcast by the BBC, Years and Years (2019). This was useful in comparing techniques, for example in opening the story, but it also illustrated how different approaches could be applied to the same subject. True Britain was an opportunity to combine my interests in speculative fiction and history. While Years emphasises radical new technology and ideas such as transhumanism, the government of True Britain glamorises history, turning it into a crucial part of young people’s identities. As the Party slogan in 1984 goes: ‘who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past’ (Orwell, 1989, p260). In True Britain technological progress has gone backwards, something so unusual in near future dystopias that it was questioned by a reviewer (XXXX, 2019). In part, this is because a characteristic of dystopias is a reduction in living standards (Utopia and Dystopia, 2019), but it also reflects a government strategy to limit the means of communication.

Elements of the action genre distinguish True Britain from traditional dystopias such as 1984, bringing it closer to recent young adult dystopias like The Hunger Games (Collins, 2009). This action-oriented fiction includes bold, active protagonists, training sequences and physical confrontation. While Emily is a more typical character in dystopia, timidly questioning, Jake embraces a world of escalating violence. He joins the resistance movement, undergoes training and embarks on missions—although he is no Jack Reacher, and the consequences are messy.

Jake is in fact an ordinary lad who has grown up obeying orders in Britain’s newly authoritarian climate. This is a story with a message, but it remains important to ensure that characters are complex and credible. They are not replicas of any in my previous dystopias. Although Jake is of the same age and under similar pressures to Deivos in Rebel Generation, he lacks Deivos’s nihilism, and is driven by the wish to save his family and community rather than to take revenge. Emily resembles Maddie in All Souls in that she opposes a new orthodoxy, but she does it on intellectual grounds, and also has a greater sense of self-preservation. It has been suggested that she could begin as right-wing herself, gradually awakening to injustice (XXXX, 2019b). However, I see her as somebody with strong ideas that, at first, she can only express cautiously. As Sokoloff explains, a protagonist should have conflicting internal and external motivations: this tension and the eventual triumph of the internal motivation will drive the plot (Sokoloff, 2015, p46). In Emily’s case, her external motivation is to stay safe; but her internal motivation drives her to defy the regime and its intellectual stranglehold.

One problem I have had in the past is writing strong lead characters. A protagonist cannot be passive, but must be capable of changing both themselves and the situation (Moon, 2013). When I created Jenny in Child of the Moors , I tried to explore a flawed personality, but Jenny’s faults did not give her agency; she caved to her domineering mother in a way that strained credibility (XXXX, 2019a). It has been suggested that there is a cultural reluctance to portray flawed female protagonists. Heroines are often simply ‘good’, without the capacity for selfishness seen in male anti-heroes (The New Yorker, 2013). Female protagonists are relatively rare in dystopias written for adults, and those that exist seem less capable of resistance; for example, Mae in The Circle (Eggers, 2014) never questions the oppressive nature of the corporation she works for (Petri, 2016). In my first piece, The Sponsor, I notice that although Summer is the main character, crucial decisions—to reject the sponsorship and then to flee—are made by her husband, Zach. In True Britain, however , Emily is as active and potentially unlikeable as Jake; she rescues Jake, then pushes him away; she is an atheist, but seeks refuge with evangelicals. Sokoloff argues that the most satisfying character arc results in a person becoming less selfish (Sokoloff, 2015, p106), and this is what happens to both Emily and Jake, with Emily sacrificing the precarious remnants of her security to save Jake a second time.

Protagonists require enemies who will try to thwart their goals. In dystopias, the antagonist is often the setting (Revis, 2010). Burroway argues that across all genres, ‘setting is often to some degree symbolic’ and ‘suggestive of a larger meaning’ (Burroway, 2011, p141). This is particularly true of a dystopia, where Jake and Emily’s environment—the ubiquitous flags, the jingoistic posters and the strained faces of it citizens—all contribute to an atmosphere of enforced patriotism. This focus on the setting as the enemy can lead to unimpressive human antagonists, mere cogs in the machine. For example, in Vox (Dalcher, 2018), the villain is annoying rather than terrifying. However, it is still important that the villain has his own motivations: ‘the best villain would be a hero—just not in this version of the story’ (Coe, 2016). In True Britain , both Emily and Jake have antagonists whose goals conflict with their own. Emily is faced by her fanatical pupil Alex, who immediately introduces conflict. In past work I have always tried to show the motivation of antagonists, but haven’t always succeeded; the self-righteous, wealthy characters in The Sponsor, for instance, ‘were more one sided, which made them seem less human’ (XXXX, 2017). In True Britain, Alex’s mixture of pride and rage must be psychologically real; his own voice will join the discourse of the story, reflecting David Lodge’s idea that in a novel, ‘no ideological or moral position is immune from challenge’ (Lodge, 2011, p129).

One area that needs improvement in my writing is a tendency to introduce too many characters. In Rebel Generation, the story followed three strands, each with multiple characters whose lives intersect. Reviewers felt that some characters failed to make an impression, with their voices merging (XXXX, 2018) and a lack of control in focus (XXXX, 2018). In True Britain I again met criticism for bringing in too many characters, which was confusing for the reader (XXXX, 2019). Robert Wood suggests that a story should have ‘as few characters as necessary,’ and that each should have a unique role and emotional outlook (Wood, 2016). When editing True Britain, I cut out those characters whose roles were not clearly needed while increasing the narrative presence of those whose role would be important later on. This latter group includes Jake’s girlfriend, whose pregnancy inspires his desperate attempts to return to his family, culminating in his second intrusion into Emily’s life.

During my development as a writer, I have increasingly used multiple narrators in order to cover conflicting perspectives. In True Britain, the tone of Jake and Emily’s stories contrast: one characterised by violent adventure, the other by careful negotiation. I am currently experimenting with different points of view for the narrative. One option is to have Emily narrate, retrospectively, in first person. This is necessary if the story is in past tense, as Jake doesn’t survive. Past tense, here, echoes the theme of history. The Secret History also uses first person and past tense; Mullan suggests that this ‘opens a gap’ between the past and present versions of the narrator, emphasised by occasional slips in tense as the narrator tries to make sense of their past actions (Mullan, 2006, p45). This is useful in Emily’s case; her personality and circumstances have undergone significant changes. However, it is unusual to have a combination of first and third person narrators: one example is found in the short stories of Jennifer Egan, but the effect there is not continuity but inferred connections (Masters, 2018). Jason Black suggests that this combination can be useful if one character should be kept close and the other ‘an enigma’ (Black, 2017), but there is no narrative reason for Jake to be a mystery. One of the novels I’m reading as part of background research is Anatomy of a Scandal (Vaughan, 2018) , which not only gives insights into the British political establishment, but also alternates between first and third person perspectives. Here, the effect is to create a feeling of closeness with a character whose actions unravel the mystery generated by the others. There is a very specific reason for this; she is also one of the characters narrated in third person. This treatment of point of view in Anatomy has been well received by critics, with one commenting that the ‘shifts in perspective add considerable suspense’ (Sethi, 2018). In True Britain , the justification for mixing narrative approaches would be different, and I am still trying various strategies. Given the theme of history, it seems fitting for Emily to act as a historian, not only of herself but of Jake and the entire country. Alternatively, I could revert to the more conventional style of alternating third person narrators, which Skinner argues is suited to plot-driven stories and has the advantage of creating ‘dramatic irony’ because the reader will know more than the characters (Skinner, 2018, p74). In this case, neither Jake nor Emily would be aware of how catastrophic their decisions might be, but the reader, with a wider vantage point, would see it.

A major criticism of my project has been that the characters are ‘buried because there is so much story to cover’ (XXXX, 2019). This related to the action scene filtered through Jake’s third-person perspective. Readers found themselves emotionally detached from Jake, and on rereading the piece I can see that the psychic distance is too remote, creating a rather cold effect. For example, when Jake sees a neighbour ‘lying motionless on his sloping lawn, one leg buckled and a dark smudge on his cheek’ (Daykin, 2019c), there is no indication of how Jake feels about this. There were too many ‘thought verbs’, which Palahniuk argues pushes the narrative towards telling rather than showing (Palahniuk, 2011). In an action sequence such as this, as Shultz suggests, ‘psychic distance should be drawn closer’ (Shultz, 2017). Details conveyed to the reader reflect the focal character’s personality and state of mind (Ellis, 2019). I will try to use the technique I experimented with in The Grey Runner, ‘zooming in’ to the protagonist, John, in a way that encompassed his internal monologue and stream of consciousness. For example, John hallucinates: ‘That’s odd, it reminds him of. Of something. Himself, as a child?’ (Daykin, 2019b).

In addition to studying fiction, I have also learned from the genres of creative nonfiction and script. Nonfiction requires research, with an emphasis on truth presented in a literary style, and this was a prerequisite for True Britain . The story has at times a documentary feel, with information conveyed by news footage and studio interviews as well as classroom debates. My factual research covers subjects ranging from English history (Jenkins, 2012) to the experience of teaching (Crossley-Holland, 2009). A misunderstanding of current political trends or a factual misstep by a character obsessed with history could alienate readers. This is the most extensive research I have carried out for a project, and it has also involved developing methods to catalogue the information.

A major influence has been script, which I’ve largely studied independently, taking particular inspiration from Alexandra Sokoloff, who describes how cinematic techniques can be applied to fiction (Sokoloff, 2015). Sokoloff draws on the template of the ‘hero’s journey’ (Bronzite, 2019). Using the film script structure of sequences and Acts, I mapped out the True Britain novel, gaining a better understanding of where the dramatic climaxes should be and what elements the reader will unconsciously expect to see in place at every stage. With this analysis, the EMA would represent most of the First Act, in which setting, allies, antagonists and goals are established, and the protagonists ‘step over the threshold’ into the big adventure of Act Two. Jake’s eviction by the authorities is the inciting incident; Emily’s offer to shelter him forms the Sequence One climax. Sequence Two involves growing tension, culminating with Jake, abandoned by Emily, joining a resistance group at the climax of Act One. Both protagonists have ‘crossed the threshold’. To give a parallel, 1984 is divided into three Acts; Act One ends after Winston encounters Julia in the street, marking the first step in their doomed relationship.

The question of how to open the novel has been difficult. After the first attempt was dismissed as too unsubtle, I had Emily introduce the situation from her perspective a year later, when, although this was not stated, she is living in America. However, this was felt to have ‘a distancing effect—closer to the viewpoint of a historian’ (XXXX, 2019). I watched the openings of a range of dystopian films, noting different ways of beginning: some used exposition (text or voiceover), while others employed the device of an interview, debate or speech, and the rest plunged straight into the action. News footage and rapid montages of sound and images were very common. My original approach was similar to that in Years and Years —a family watching television, oblivious to forewarnings of their own impending doom. I’m now considering an opening in which Emily drives into town to meet an old friend, a sequence made more sinister by the fact that the friend doesn’t show up. The first paragraph would resemble the establishing shot in a film, demonstrating the changed landscape and its fearful atmosphere without the need for exposition. As in Children of Men (2006) , billboards could be used to convey cultural information. Anthony Powell, an early adopter of cinematic techniques in novels, also opened with a panoramic image that communicated his themes (Radner, 2019).

Another aspect emphasised in script is ‘plants and pay-offs’, the cinematic equivalent of foreshadowing. Chekhov argued that ‘if there is a gun hanging on the wall, you should make quite sure that it is going to be used’ (Miyamoto, 2017). In past work, I’ve been less conscious of this, and overloaded scenes with unnecessary detail: for example in Child , a memorial cross ‘needed to be foregrounded to strengthen the connection to the child revelation’ (XXXX, 2019a) but was instead obscured by irrelevancies. Every detail must play its part, and although some of them support mood and setting, others have greater significance. For instance, when Emily drives into town in the opening scene, she is witnessing the subtle build up to a purge that will strike the area next day—rather akin to the first signs of disturbance in a psychological horror film.

In some ways True Britain mirrors The Sponsor, an earlier dystopian story with interlinking narrative strands. However, I hope it is a more mature work, informed by feedback from others and from my reading of other texts from the perspective of a writer. It reflects a greater awareness of the importance of genre conventions and how to use them creatively; the significance of detail, the need for active protagonists and strategies for controlling points of view. As well as studying the craft of fiction writing, I have been absorbing influences from other genres and have considered the techniques used in successful novels and films.

Word count: 3300 words

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3 thoughts on “ an example critical commentary ”.

Hi Ruth, In the final ‘year’ of my distance BA(Hons) in Creative Writing with the University for the Creative Arts (formerly Open College of the Arts), I had my final tutor annotated draft returned which comprised my Final Reflective Commentary and Creative Reading Commentary with so many blued-out boxes of comments and strikethroughs that my head span. My tutor had encouraged me, said work needed to be done, told me to still expect a ‘good mark’ for this final piece and said I’d been an exemplary, committed student. I’d heard words like this before when I was failing my English Lit A-Level and my teacher had suggested I drop it and concentrate on Art/Art History, which infuriated me. (I didn’t drop it; I went full Terminator on it and passed with a B instead of the predicted ‘F’). So with this Commentary I knew I could do something better but I didn’t know how. Research. Right? If in doubt, research until your eyes bleed. Even if it’s for technical competence and not anything fiction/craft/technique-related. So I Googled. For days, searching for a decent equivalent to the Commentary that I felt I could do so much better with. Enter yours. HALLELUJAH! Don’t worry, plagiarism doesn’t come into play here, I just needed to see how a good Commentary flowed, how it was constructed, how referencing text books as well as the books being studied needed to appear on the page; how much was primary, secondary reference materials, how to include internet references, and your piece shone such a bright light on where I was (I hasten to say ‘going wrong’, because it’s all a learning curve, right?) able to improve. I read and re-read and used different coloured highlighter pens to mark where and how many references you used and this – your EMA commentary – became my Bible. Once I’d re-written the whole thing (and I mean REWRITTEN so it was almost indistinguishable from the original although obviously the title/theme remained) I told my tutor and asked if she could have a quick look to see if it sounded/read/felt any better to the previous. She said she couldn’t (as you know) tutors can only read through so many times, and my times were up. I submitted it. I could’ve tidied the original one up, changed parts where my tutor had suggested, expanded on areas, deleted other rafts of areas and got a ‘good mark’, but I didn’t. I preferred this one (and I have very little self-confidence at the best of times) and as this was my final final FINAL, what did I have to lose? We had our results through last month and – and I mean this SINCERELY – thanks (in a whole big part) to YOU – I’m graduating with a First. Furthermore, this commentary which nobody had read or played a part in, is going to be printed in future coursework books for students as an exemplar in how to write a good commentary. I’m sorry this is so long and rambling, but I had to say thank you. For putting your work out there (into the void of webspace) and allowing this writer-student to find it, and to improve her technique. I’m keeping the pages I printed off with all the highlighted parts because I know that without this I’d have been disappointed in myself and my mediocre mark. Sharing is caring and I’m so glad you did that I wanted to share right back. Very warm wishes, Debs

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Hi Debs! Thanks for your amazing feedback. It’s great to know that this little blog has helped someone. Congratulations on your First, and on getting your commentary printed in coursework books – your work will be making a difference to others!

Good luck in the future. The thing now is to keep going. Keep writing, keep studying technique, keep looking for opportunities and sending off your work. That’s something I need to do myself – too many distractions this year! But it sounds like you’re a very dedicated person, and I’m sure we’ll see your name again. 🙂

Maybe we’ll bump into one another on the writers’ circuit (if there is such a thing!) I’ve just started a separate blog for the Masters http://www.masteringcreativewriting.wordpress.com – it’s not quite ‘there’ yet, so if you do vitis (and you’d be the first) please excuse the state of the place! Deborah x

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Writing a good creative reading commentary

At Level 2 (HE5) and 3 (HE6), Creative Writing students are asked to research an author, writing movement or individual work(s) of literature that they’ve been reading during that unit, and that has resonated with them as a writer.

Here are some suggestions for how to approach the CRC. However, if you have a particular idea that differs in some way from the guidelines below, don’t discount it. Discuss your thoughts with your tutor and they may give you the go-ahead.

Choosing your topic:

  • Your choice should also be relevant to the particular form you’re writing in, so if you’re studying ‘Writing Short Fiction’, you should choose a short story writer or book of stories; if you’re studying ‘Poetry: Form & Experience’ you should choose a poet or book of poems, etc. 
  • Your chosen writer/text/movement must be contemporary, which the OCA defines, the purposes of the CRC, as being published after 1950. However, if you have a strong case for choosing an earlier author(s) or work(s), discuss this with your tutor. You may be permitted to focus on this earlier topic with your tutor’s agreement. (Ensure you check with your tutor before writing your CRC though!).
  • Choose something that’s had an impact on your own writing. Think about elements of the work that you particularly admire and how the writer has crafted it. If you’ve chosen a particular poet, do you admire their use of rhyme or rhythm? Do their poems employ particular techniques to create sound and atmosphere? Think about what this poet has taught you.

Read to be influenced:

If you are writing, it should go without saying that you are reading too, because it’s a crucial way of understanding the art form and developing your writing skills. There’s no reason to fear that you will be ‘too influenced’ by another writer – in fact, you should read in order to be influenced. Many writers learn their craft by immersing themselves in the work of other writers, and this deep immersion can be a crucial stage of a writer’s apprenticeship. 

This doesn’t mean that you should try to write just like they do. If you notice that you are writing in a very similar way to another writer and can’t seem to find your own style, read more widely. Reading lots will ensure you don’t come too much under the sway of one writer’s voice.

All stories, poems, novels, memoirs, plays etc. are in conversation with all the other poems etc. that a writer has ever read. So the more you’ve read, the broader the conversation will be. You can’t read everything, of course, but the more you read the better. Read what’s current and fashionable, but read off the beaten track too. It’s essential to read contemporary work but it’s good to read older work too, as new work is often responding to, and engaging with, what’s gone before.

Plagiarism alert: Learning from other writers is different from plagiarism. Studying how another writer uses form and handles subject manner, and putting that learning into practice, is very different from plagiarism. Plagiarism means passing off the work or ideas of someone else as your own (and it can be intentional or intentional), and it is to be actively avoided.

Reading diary: 

Try keeping a reading diary (this could be as part of your writing diary). Keep a record of what you’ve read, what you thought about it, what you learnt, and any aspects that stood out – for example, particular lines or sentences that resonate with you, a particular way of handling character or dialogue or using structure. Re-reading will also help you to get under the skin of a particular text.

Common mistakes:

  • Don’t leave choosing your writer/book/literary movement for your CRC to last the minute. You should be writing on something that’s had a genuine influence on your own writing, so be alert to this from the very start of the unit.
  • Don’t choose something published pre-1950 unless you already have your tutor’s agreement to do so.
  • Don’t choose a huge topic – you have a limited word count so can’t analyse all of Stephen King’s novels, or all the poems by Kathleen Jamie. Choose one or two novels, or one or two collections – at most.
  • Do check with your tutor that your topic is suitable and feel free to ask them for advice. 

Discussing Writing Techniques:

When you write your CRC, the main focus should be your chosen writer’s/writers’ techniques. Keep your summary of the text(s) to a minimum. Sometimes students spend too long on this aspect and not enough on deep analysis of techniques.

Do focus on a few techniques used in the work (you can’t cover everything), so choose a few that are particularly pertinent and explore why they work.

What techniques could you discuss? Look back at my blog on ‘How to Write a Good Reflective Commentary’ for a suggested list of potential writing techniques.

You should also discuss some of the ways your topic has been an influence on your own ideas about writing: try to give some specific examples from your assignments.

Word counts:

Level 2: 2000 words

Level 3: 2,500-3000 words

Include a bibliography at end of your CRC, listing all the  sources referred to in your CRC (but don’t include anything you’ve not directly referred to), using the Harvard Referencing Style. The Bibliography will not form part of your word count.

Secondary material: 

Make sure you use some secondary sources and refer to them in your CRC. Secondary materials might include interviews with your chosen author(s), reviews of their books, interviews with them, filmed Q&As/readings at book festivals, articles about them and also books about the craft of writing.

Include short quotations to demonstrate your point.

Here are some exercises that will help you build up your Creative Reading Commentary:

1) Close Reading

Take an excerpt by your chosen writer and look at it in depth. Examine all the techniques used by the writer in that short extract and make some notes (even if these aren’t all included in your final CRC). Take a look at my blog on ‘Close Reading’ for some tips on how to close read.

2) Read Reviews

Find and read some review of your chosen writer/work online. Make a note of the things that the reviewer comments on. Do you agree with the reviewer? Do they omit anything you consider important?

3) Make a List/Mind Map/Other Representation of Your Ideas

Make a list, mind map or some other kind of representation of all the things you’d like your commentary to include about your chosen  writer/work/movement. 

Do these fall neatly into particular categories? Consider in what order you’d like to tackle these points. What sort of structure would be most appropriate for  your commentary?

There’s more advice on the Creative Reading Commentary in the Creative Writing Student Guide . This includes a detailed suggested structure, breaking the CRC down paragraph by paragraph. It’s not essential you use this structure, but you may wish to use it as a guideline if you’re struggling with this aspect of writing the CRC. Ensure you read Creative Writing Student Guide thoroughly as well as consulting your tutor about your topic.

2 thoughts on “ Writing a good creative reading commentary ”

Many thanks for this welcome post which I will read and re-read as I’m engaged with my CRC at the moment.

This is really helpful – especially the advice on not choosing too big a subject.

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Creative Responses and Written Commentary (SOIs) Explained

creative writing commentary example

The creative task – many students’ relished chance to set aside the rigour of textual analysis in favour of original and imaginative writing. Whether you’re someone for whom creative writing comes naturally, or someone who likes to have a bit of a methodical structure to start you off, this guide will distil the task down to the essentials and equip you with the skills to write a killer Creative!

What’s so special about the Creative SAC?

Unlike the other Areas of Study (Text Response, Comparative, and Argument Analysis), the Creative SAC is unique in that you are given free reign over what you may write on. You are generally given the creative licence to compose pieces such as a missing chapter, a particular scene from a secondary character’s perspective, or even a journal entry revealing the protagonist’s innermost thoughts. Note, however, that this is a very school-dependent task and teachers may instruct you to respond to a very specific prompt, or alternatively provide a broad topic to which you may write your response.

Nevertheless, you are assigned the role of the author now – instead of analysing someone else’s techniques, narrative construction, characterisation, and symbols, you are creating your own, and extending upon those already existing in the source material. In this way, we can think of the Creative as an opportunity to emulate the language techniques and devices of the original author, while having something additional to say about the big themes the author explores. For reference, you are usually given 800-1000 words in total for the original writing section of the Creative.

Approaching the task

Step 1: create a plan for your creative piece.

As with any piece of writing, the first and foremost step is to plan it out. Because of the breadth of possibilities inherent in this task, the planning process is especially important – I’d even go as far as to say that this is the most crucial stage, because this is where you are able to condense all your ideas and begin to establish the foundational narrative features of your piece.

It is firstly a good idea to create a rough brainstorm of potential ideas for your Creative piece. This can include characters, themes, and plot points. You should consider what the main message of your piece is, and what you want to convey to your audience. In particular, there  might be a particular idea the original author touches on that you’d like to further explore. It’s also great to start thinking about your target audience and what kind of story would resonate with them. For example, George Orwell, in his famed novel “1984,” creates a dystopian society where the government has complete control over citizens' lives, exploring ideas such as totalitarianism, government surveillance, and manipulation of language.

Once you start to have a general idea of the gist of your story, you should identify any narrative gaps that are present in the original text. These are excellent opportunities to further flesh out the world of the text and will contribute to giving the reader added insight into a particular character or scene. These gaps could include anything from missing plot points and underdeveloped characters, to unresolved conflicts and scenes that are referred to but not explicitly explored. To use an illustrative example, in F. Scott Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby," one narrative gap is the mystery surrounding the main character, Jay Gatsby. Throughout the novel, his past and background are not fully explained, leaving the reader with a sense of intrigue. A potential creative idea could be to write a chapter detailing his adolescence from the perspective of a young Gatsby – such a piece would require some imagination and would give readers that extra insight into his character and values.

Narrative Elements

As with any text, symbols should be rife throughout your piece. While in the Text Response, you are analysing the implicit meaning and connotations of symbols the author has used, now you are injecting those symbols in your own writing – it’s kind of like the inverse. Symbols could be objects or motifs with a particular significance and representative value relating to a key theme in the piece. They add depth and meaning and can enhance the story and its themes. I like to think of them as vehicles through which we can communicate our message to the audience. To use an example from Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird,” the symbol of the mockingbird represents innocence and injustice. The character Tom Robinson, who is falsely accused of rape, is compared to a mockingbird because he is innocent but still punished. The symbol of the mockingbird adds depth to the story and enhances the theme of racial injustice.

We should also consider the setting . Now, this doesn’t just refer to a geographical setting, i.e. where the story takes place, it also refers to the temporal setting – the time period and era the piece is set in. Both types of settings will inform characters’ beliefs and actions, and hence are essential in providing the backdrop for your story. It’s also important to note the effect the setting has on the piece’s overall tone. In J.D. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye," the setting is New York City during the 1950s. The city's fast-paced, gritty atmosphere reflects the main character's alienation and disillusionment with society. The setting plays a crucial role in shaping the tone and mood of the story.

Now that we have established a few main narrative elements, we should draw our attention to the issues and messages we want to address – these are overarching themes that the author examines in their original text that we want to say something further about. A hint: usually each character in the text will connect with a particular broader theme ; we can expand on this to base our entire piece on this key theme to really make an insightful commentary on an issue relevant to the source material. Make sure these issues and messages are woven into the story in a way that is both meaningful and impactful for audiences. For example, in Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice," the issue of societal expectations and class distinctions is explored. The novel's message is about the importance of understanding and overcoming one's own prejudices and biases in order to achieve true happiness. The issue is woven into the story through the interactions and relationships of the characters, particularly the relationship between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. Throughout the novel, they both have to confront their own prejudices and societal expectations in order to recognize and accept their true feelings for one another. This theme is central to the story and is one of the main messages that the author wants to convey.

Once we have these ideas sorted, I would recommend making some kind of table to organise our thoughts and cement these narrative elements before we begin writing. Below is an example of a planning sheet you may like to use (based on “Rear Window”):

Planning sheet

creative writing commentary example

Step 2: Storyline and techniques

With the most crucial and perhaps time-consuming step completed, we can move on to the actual writing process . This involves creating a step-by-step scaffold of the main plot – the storyline that our piece will follow. Remember to avoid over-complicating this – while the tangible events that occur are indeed important, we are going for a complexity of ideas and messages rather than a complexity in plot. We want to make sure the reader can still follow along, armed with the background knowledge afforded by the original text.

It’s good to keep in mind the fundamental narrative structure – this is one that you have probably seen in lower year levels, but still stands well today! We firstly begin with an exposition , which essentially amounts to scene setting as well as establishing context and background. Then, problems and issues begin to emerge and build up, until a climax is reached. There is then a “falling action” , where plot points and intricacies begin to resolve, until we reach the very end with the final resolution .

creative writing commentary example

We do also need to consider the perspective from which we write, as this will heavily impact the readers’ degree of insight into the events that occur. The main perspectives in narrative writing are listed below – note that no perspective is right or wrong, and can be utilised to leverage the story depending on your desired purpose.

  • First person - Using personal pronouns “I”, “My”, and “Our”. This mode of writing is the most immediate way the reader may access a character’s thoughts and feelings from a very intimate, personal point of view. Reflective pieces, journal entries, and memoirs would use this perspective.
  • Second person - This is less common, and uses words such as “You” and “Yours”. Essentially, this is more of an instructional perspective in which the narrator is telling you, the reader, to feel or act, as if you yourself are the one in the story. Such a perspective is transportive, and directly involves the reader in the narrative.
  • Third person limited - This is a far more common one. Here, we use pronouns like “He” and “His” to tell the story. It is limited because the narrator only can reveal the perspective of a single character – they would not know what another character on the other side of the world would be thinking, for example.
  • Third person omniscient - We use the same sorts of pronouns here, but instead of being limited in our perception of events, we now have an all-encompassing awareness – we are omniscient , meaning the reader has access to all events and characters in the narrative.
Below is one example of a storyline for a potential creative piece, at the planning stage:

Scene: Mr Thorwald sitting in the dark – the voice of the dog-owner becomes blurred

  • View of the courtyard
  • He is watching others from his windows (distracted/accidental encounter)
  • Analyse one observation – how that represents his subconscious fears or desires (Ms LH)

Next Day: Describe the apartment

  • Cleaning out the blood/spots (guilt/symbol)
  • Visual imagery: What does the apartment look like? Has it changed [in his mind] since his wife’s death? Does it still remind him of his guilt?
  • Cross-cutting between this and also his fantasy about freedom
  • Thorwald packing
  • Smoking the cigarette
  • Looking around for culprit
  • Allusion to the affair
  • Picks up white hat & leaves

Climax: The telephone rings

  • Build up suspense
  • He starts becoming paranoid, maybe he actually brought a weapon into his meeting with this anonymous killer?
  • Confrontation with the wrong guy, dragged into that alley, only to find out about two unwelcome visitors  
  • The guy is innocent, maybe a sentence of two of dialogue

End: Inescapable nature of his guilt

  • Semi-unresolved ending
  • end with him opening the door to his apartment?
  • or with him discovering Lisa and assaulting her
  • or with police arrival

Writing the Creative

Now we are ready to move on to the writing of our Creative. A great technique I like to use is called in media res , roughly translating to “starting in the middle of the action.” This approach, used at the beginning of a piece, immediately immerses the reader in the narrative , allowing them to piece together information from hints we are giving them throughout our writing. The contrasting approach would be to explicitly state every single detail about the context from the get-go, which may dilute the impactfulness of your writing. An example is shown below:

Shattered Looking-Glass
The photograph is torn and stained, coated with a layer of cooking grease. It has been there for a while, dangling by one corner, but never falls onto the ground. The woman photographed looks perfect in her green shantung dress; not a single loose strand of hair falls from her perfectly sculpted bob; no sign of age, loneliness or exhaustion can be found on her face. I study the photo meticulously, coating my face with a thick layer of beauty powder until I look like her looking-glass.
After putting on a similar-looking green dress, albeit made of a different, less expensive fabric, I fix my hair, adjust my hat, put on the only pair of gloves found in my drawer and settle my nerves with a glass of gin. Walk like a lady, not like the undesirable woman you are so bent on becoming. I nervously leave the house for my date with John.

Written by a past student (study score: 45)

In this extract, we are beginning by detailing the “torn and stained” nature of “the photograph” - an item to which the audience is previously unacquainted with. In doing so, we create a sense of intrigue and suspense - the audience may think, “What photograph? Why is this important?”, implicitly drawing in their interest. A similar mode of information-hinting is used as we mention “the woman photographed” as well as in our reveal of the narrator in “I study the photo…coating my face with a thick layer of beauty powder.” That we do not mention any names or events only serves to further this sense of curiosity in readers.

This sample also exemplifies the use of italics when the central character is monologuing . Such a technique is seamlessly woven within the rest of this paragraph in “ Walk like a lady, not like the undesirable woman you are so bent on becoming. ” Being written in first-person , this piece already gives readers a close insight into this character’s thoughts - the inclusion of her italicised inner-voice creates an even more intimate perception into her psyche .

A lot of students struggle with striking the ideal balance between reflective description and events . This is particularly the case if a character is monologuing – in this case, we do want to hear the character’s private thoughts, but also have something going on in terms of action and events – just to round it out for a fully complete piece.

The Statement of Intention

This is a crucial part of the Creative task, in which you are to clearly and concisely justify the writing and creative decisions you have made in about 200-300 words . As the Statement of Intention (SOI) is usually read first before the Creative by your teacher, it is essential to provide all necessary background so that the reader knows how your piece fits within the context of the source material . There are a number of key elements to include in the SOI, and I like to use an acronym to remember these.

This stands for Form, Language, Audience, Purpose , and Contention .

The form of the piece refers to the genre and style you are writing in – whether it is a poem, newsletter, or diary entry. You must discuss what perspective your piece takes, as well as why you have chosen to use that particular perspective. If there’s a title , explain why you have named the piece that way too. The tense is also included under this heading.

Language choices and decisions can be both on a macro and micro level. Regarding the macro, or broad, level, you can justify your use of overall language style , e.g. “I have chosen to use language befitting 17th Century England as that is when my story was set”. As for the micro, or specific, level, you can explain your inclusion of particular words or phrases , e.g. “In having the protagonist of my piece say [quote from the Creative], I aimed to explore their internal thoughts in…”

As mentioned previously, your intended target audience must be a very specific demographic (as with the original author). For example, “those already acquainted with the world of the text who desire a deeper understanding of [secondary character], being that they were underdeveloped in the original text.”

This aspect seems to stump a lot of students, but essentially, your purpose refers to your own authorial intent – your take-home message you want to give readers. This may be to further advance the issues in the original text, or to provide an alternate perspective to an existing theme. Make sure to link this expressly to the high-level themes the author discusses.

The context refers to where the piece is set within the world of the text – what chapters or sections are directly preceding and following your piece? Where are the characters when we first begin reading the Creative? Answering these questions allows us to provide readers with a crystal-clear picture of what they should be expecting going into the piece. Context may also refer to the socio-historical context, which relates to that of the source material.

Below is an example of an SOI plan (again, on “Rear Window”) which outlines the main points of justification you may like to include. Notice how the student has mentioned both holistic and close analysis , as well as linked their piece to relevant ideas (such as “Freud-Jungian theories” and “intra-household conflicts”) found in the original text.

Introduction:

  • Narrative prose - short story; with the characteristics of a journal entry;
  • First-person narrative  
  • Suspense & Crime fiction
  • Chronological
  • Insertions of inner thoughts and vignettes

Theme & Character

Marital entrapment explored through the perspective of mr thorwald.

  • Fermented enmity of Mr Thorwald; frustration, claustrophobia, discontent
  • Motif of doubles ( doppelganger ) - Jeff as Mr Throwald’s double - likening physical entrapment with confines existing in his internal world

Social context

  • Deinstitutionalisation of marriage
  • Authorial intent (anti-suburbanism; anti-urbanism; URBAN c.f. PASTORAL/RURAL
  • Advocates against domesticated lives - monotony and mundanity of married life
  • Dramatise intra-household conflicts

Holistic analysis (narrative voice/stylistic features)

  • Overall: Title/narrative style and perspective (profiling of a murderer)
  • Filling in the narrative gap
  • Narration: First-person + free indirect discourse (stream of consciousness), vignettes, etc

Close analysis (x2)

  • Use quotes – discuss the inclusions of certain words (i.e. Diction)
  • Literary devices (syntax, polysyndeton vs asyndeton, inner monologue, dialogue, metaphors, stream-of-consciousness, run-on sentences)
  • Freud/Jungian theories
  • Significance of the quote, link it to the themes of the text
To formalise our justification into a Statement of Intention , we must combine the different elements of FLAP-C into a coherent, concise piece of writing. Let’s look at how we might go about structuring this.

It is firstly an excellent idea to begin by introducing the overall form, style, and genre of the piece (as well as a title if you have one). This immediately allows your reader to get an idea of what your piece is about, as well as the broad creative direction you have taken. The following extract is a scaffold for the beginning of a potential SOI:

My creative piece [title] adopts the literary form of a two-part short story/narrative prose, transitioning from a [setting 1] to the [setting 2]. The use of a chronological/non-chronolgical structure and stream-of-consciousness narrative style are characteristics resembling a series of journal entries, and a [narrative voice] from the perspective of [character] enables [thematic ideas] to be more deeply explored. The genre of drama is developed through the adoption of [genre] tropes and the insertion of vignettes and vivid imagery.

We have started off by explicitly labelling the literary form as either a “two-part short story” or  “narrative prose” - both descriptions are highly specific and precise (compared to calling it a “chapter” for example). Whether the piece follows a chronological or non-linear structure is also something to keep in mind, and is important to preface to your audience before they read your Creative. Note as well that we have elaborated on our use of the “drama” genre, backing up this claim with evidence that we have “adopt[ed]...tropes” unique to that particular genre and style.

Though the Creative Task is often one that many students would like to “get out of the way” as quickly as possible, the skills developed in written expression as well as being able to reflect on the author’s ideas will prove invaluable in your study of English as a whole. We hope that this guide has given you a heads-up on what to look out for, and how to plan and structure a great Creative piece!

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Creative Writing is the art of using words to express ideas and emotions in imaginative ways. It encompasses various forms including novels, poetry, and plays, focusing on narrative craft, character development, and the use of literary tropes.

Bright, colorful creative writer's desk with notebook and typewriter -- What Is Creative Writing

Table of Contents

Let’s expand on that definition a bit.

Creative writing is an art form that transcends traditional literature boundaries.

It includes professional, journalistic, academic, and technical writing. This type of writing emphasizes narrative craft, character development, and literary tropes. It also explores poetry and poetics traditions.

In essence, creative writing lets you express ideas and emotions uniquely and imaginatively.

It’s about the freedom to invent worlds, characters, and stories. These creations evoke a spectrum of emotions in readers.

Creative writing covers fiction, poetry, and everything in between.

It allows writers to express inner thoughts and feelings. Often, it reflects human experiences through a fabricated lens.

Types of Creative Writing

There are many types of creative writing that we need to explain.

Some of the most common types:

  • Short stories
  • Screenplays
  • Flash fiction
  • Creative Nonfiction

Short Stories (The Brief Escape)

Short stories are like narrative treasures.

They are compact but impactful, telling a full story within a limited word count. These tales often focus on a single character or a crucial moment.

Short stories are known for their brevity.

They deliver emotion and insight in a concise yet powerful package. This format is ideal for exploring diverse genres, themes, and characters. It leaves a lasting impression on readers.

Example: Emma discovers an old photo of her smiling grandmother. It’s a rarity. Through flashbacks, Emma learns about her grandmother’s wartime love story. She comes to understand her grandmother’s resilience and the value of joy.

Novels (The Long Journey)

Novels are extensive explorations of character, plot, and setting.

They span thousands of words, giving writers the space to create entire worlds. Novels can weave complex stories across various themes and timelines.

The length of a novel allows for deep narrative and character development.

Readers get an immersive experience.

Example: Across the Divide tells of two siblings separated in childhood. They grow up in different cultures. Their reunion highlights the strength of family bonds, despite distance and differences.

Poetry (The Soul’s Language)

Poetry expresses ideas and emotions through rhythm, sound, and word beauty.

It distills emotions and thoughts into verses. Poetry often uses metaphors, similes, and figurative language to reach the reader’s heart and mind.

Poetry ranges from structured forms, like sonnets, to free verse.

The latter breaks away from traditional formats for more expressive thought.

Example: Whispers of Dawn is a poem collection capturing morning’s quiet moments. “First Light” personifies dawn as a painter. It brings colors of hope and renewal to the world.

Plays (The Dramatic Dialogue)

Plays are meant for performance. They bring characters and conflicts to life through dialogue and action.

This format uniquely explores human relationships and societal issues.

Playwrights face the challenge of conveying setting, emotion, and plot through dialogue and directions.

Example: Echoes of Tomorrow is set in a dystopian future. Memories can be bought and sold. It follows siblings on a quest to retrieve their stolen memories. They learn the cost of living in a world where the past has a price.

Screenplays (Cinema’s Blueprint)

Screenplays outline narratives for films and TV shows.

They require an understanding of visual storytelling, pacing, and dialogue. Screenplays must fit film production constraints.

Example: The Last Light is a screenplay for a sci-fi film. Humanity’s survivors on a dying Earth seek a new planet. The story focuses on spacecraft Argo’s crew as they face mission challenges and internal dynamics.

Memoirs (The Personal Journey)

Memoirs provide insight into an author’s life, focusing on personal experiences and emotional journeys.

They differ from autobiographies by concentrating on specific themes or events.

Memoirs invite readers into the author’s world.

They share lessons learned and hardships overcome.

Example: Under the Mango Tree is a memoir by Maria Gomez. It shares her childhood memories in rural Colombia. The mango tree in their yard symbolizes home, growth, and nostalgia. Maria reflects on her journey to a new life in America.

Flash Fiction (The Quick Twist)

Flash fiction tells stories in under 1,000 words.

It’s about crafting compelling narratives concisely. Each word in flash fiction must count, often leading to a twist.

This format captures life’s vivid moments, delivering quick, impactful insights.

Example: The Last Message features an astronaut’s final Earth message as her spacecraft drifts away. In 500 words, it explores isolation, hope, and the desire to connect against all odds.

Creative Nonfiction (The Factual Tale)

Creative nonfiction combines factual accuracy with creative storytelling.

This genre covers real events, people, and places with a twist. It uses descriptive language and narrative arcs to make true stories engaging.

Creative nonfiction includes biographies, essays, and travelogues.

Example: Echoes of Everest follows the author’s Mount Everest climb. It mixes factual details with personal reflections and the history of past climbers. The narrative captures the climb’s beauty and challenges, offering an immersive experience.

Fantasy (The World Beyond)

Fantasy transports readers to magical and mythical worlds.

It explores themes like good vs. evil and heroism in unreal settings. Fantasy requires careful world-building to create believable yet fantastic realms.

Example: The Crystal of Azmar tells of a young girl destined to save her world from darkness. She learns she’s the last sorceress in a forgotten lineage. Her journey involves mastering powers, forming alliances, and uncovering ancient kingdom myths.

Science Fiction (The Future Imagined)

Science fiction delves into futuristic and scientific themes.

It questions the impact of advancements on society and individuals.

Science fiction ranges from speculative to hard sci-fi, focusing on plausible futures.

Example: When the Stars Whisper is set in a future where humanity communicates with distant galaxies. It centers on a scientist who finds an alien message. This discovery prompts a deep look at humanity’s universe role and interstellar communication.

Watch this great video that explores the question, “What is creative writing?” and “How to get started?”:

What Are the 5 Cs of Creative Writing?

The 5 Cs of creative writing are fundamental pillars.

They guide writers to produce compelling and impactful work. These principles—Clarity, Coherence, Conciseness, Creativity, and Consistency—help craft stories that engage and entertain.

They also resonate deeply with readers. Let’s explore each of these critical components.

Clarity makes your writing understandable and accessible.

It involves choosing the right words and constructing clear sentences. Your narrative should be easy to follow.

In creative writing, clarity means conveying complex ideas in a digestible and enjoyable way.

Coherence ensures your writing flows logically.

It’s crucial for maintaining the reader’s interest. Characters should develop believably, and plots should progress logically. This makes the narrative feel cohesive.

Conciseness

Conciseness is about expressing ideas succinctly.

It’s being economical with words and avoiding redundancy. This principle helps maintain pace and tension, engaging readers throughout the story.

Creativity is the heart of creative writing.

It allows writers to invent new worlds and create memorable characters. Creativity involves originality and imagination. It’s seeing the world in unique ways and sharing that vision.

Consistency

Consistency maintains a uniform tone, style, and voice.

It means being faithful to the world you’ve created. Characters should act true to their development. This builds trust with readers, making your story immersive and believable.

Is Creative Writing Easy?

Creative writing is both rewarding and challenging.

Crafting stories from your imagination involves more than just words on a page. It requires discipline and a deep understanding of language and narrative structure.

Exploring complex characters and themes is also key.

Refining and revising your work is crucial for developing your voice.

The ease of creative writing varies. Some find the freedom of expression liberating.

Others struggle with writer’s block or plot development challenges. However, practice and feedback make creative writing more fulfilling.

What Does a Creative Writer Do?

A creative writer weaves narratives that entertain, enlighten, and inspire.

Writers explore both the world they create and the emotions they wish to evoke. Their tasks are diverse, involving more than just writing.

Creative writers develop ideas, research, and plan their stories.

They create characters and outline plots with attention to detail. Drafting and revising their work is a significant part of their process. They strive for the 5 Cs of compelling writing.

Writers engage with the literary community, seeking feedback and participating in workshops.

They may navigate the publishing world with agents and editors.

Creative writers are storytellers, craftsmen, and artists. They bring narratives to life, enriching our lives and expanding our imaginations.

How to Get Started With Creative Writing?

Embarking on a creative writing journey can feel like standing at the edge of a vast and mysterious forest.

The path is not always clear, but the adventure is calling.

Here’s how to take your first steps into the world of creative writing:

  • Find a time of day when your mind is most alert and creative.
  • Create a comfortable writing space free from distractions.
  • Use prompts to spark your imagination. They can be as simple as a word, a phrase, or an image.
  • Try writing for 15-20 minutes on a prompt without editing yourself. Let the ideas flow freely.
  • Reading is fuel for your writing. Explore various genres and styles.
  • Pay attention to how your favorite authors construct their sentences, develop characters, and build their worlds.
  • Don’t pressure yourself to write a novel right away. Begin with short stories or poems.
  • Small projects can help you hone your skills and boost your confidence.
  • Look for writing groups in your area or online. These communities offer support, feedback, and motivation.
  • Participating in workshops or classes can also provide valuable insights into your writing.
  • Understand that your first draft is just the beginning. Revising your work is where the real magic happens.
  • Be open to feedback and willing to rework your pieces.
  • Carry a notebook or digital recorder to jot down ideas, observations, and snippets of conversations.
  • These notes can be gold mines for future writing projects.

Final Thoughts: What Is Creative Writing?

Creative writing is an invitation to explore the unknown, to give voice to the silenced, and to celebrate the human spirit in all its forms.

Check out these creative writing tools (that I highly recommend):

Read This Next:

  • What Is a Prompt in Writing? (Ultimate Guide + 200 Examples)
  • What Is A Personal Account In Writing? (47 Examples)
  • How To Write A Fantasy Short Story (Ultimate Guide + Examples)
  • How To Write A Fantasy Romance Novel [21 Tips + Examples)

School of Modern Languages and Cultures

Writing a literary commentary: guidelines, what is a commentary.

  • First and foremost, a literary commentary is NOT an essay. The passage in front of you is not, therefore, an invitation to write a general essay about the work from which it has been taken.
  • A commentary is an analysis of the given passage, its function and its characteristics. It should examine the key themes and stylistic devices of the passage, showing how the language works to convey (or at times undermine) its content.
  • A commentary should relate the passage to the rest of the work (novel, collection of poems, etc.), but remain focused in the main on the details of the passage itself.
  • Make sure that your commentary covers the whole passage. For instance, if you are given a poem with five stanzas, you should try to say something about each stanza.
  • Use line numbers (in both poetry and prose) in your commentary, rather than wasting time by quoting at length.
  • When you do quote, make sure that your comments don't simply repeat what the quotation already says: 'In the line "Il pleut dehors", the poet tells us that it is raining outside ...'
  • Avoid verbosity or inaccurate terminology. Clarity and precision are top priorities, and polysyllabic words do not improve a commentary.
  • Don't use words like 'effective', 'atmospheric', or 'beautiful' unless you are also explaining what the effect, atmosphere or beauty of the passage are, and how they are achieved. 

How should I write my commentary?

There are no fixed rules for writing a commentary, but a general structure will be suggested. You should always PLAN your commentary before you start writing it, following these guidelines where appropriate.

1 Introduction

  • Put the passage into context , and summarise its arguments briefly (in a few sentences): do not spend too much time discussing matters outside of the passage.
  • You should assume that your reader has read the work from which the passage has been taken.
  • You may want to point out the passage's most important thematic and structural aspects in your introduction.
  • Introduce the main themes and structural aspects of the passage.
  • What kind of passage is it (description/dialogue/free indirect speech), and what is its function (in the rest of the work)?
  • What is its overall structure (repetitious/circuIar/leitmotifs/develops to a climax)?
  • What is the narrative point of view (first-person/third-person/omniscient or not)?
  • What are the register (high/low) and tone (comic/surreal) of the passage?

3 Detailed Analysis

This is the most substantial part of the commentary. It should not be simple description or paraphrase, but an analysis of how the language of the passage functions. The following are aspects of the text that you should look for:

  • Sentence structure
  • Tense usage
  • Word order (balance or lack thereof, harmony, repetition, parallels)
  • Figurative language (imagery, metaphors, similes, symbolism, allegory, personification, myth, antithesis, irony, paradox)
  • Characterisation (or lack thereof)
  • Narrative technique/point of view (first/third person, limited point of view, stream of consciousness)
  • Punctuation
  • Alliteration, assonance, rhyme (poetry and prose)

Remember that no text is likely to have instances of all of these elements, and that it is best to concentrate on those that are most relevant to the passage in question. Also, you should avoid simply commenting on the appearance of a particular technique: make sure you say why this is worth noticing. Ideally, your comments should cohere to explain how the various linguistic devices combine to produce the overall effect intended by the author.

4 Conclusion

  • Summarise your findings, drawing together the different aspects of the text that you have discussed in your commentary.
  • Assess briefly the achievements and significance of the passage, both in itself and in relation to the work from which it is taken.

  Some useful aids to commentary-writing  

  • Nurse, P. (ed.), The Art of Criticism: Essays in French Literary Analysis (Edinburgh, 1969) (sample commentaries of French literary texts)  
  • Biard, J. D., Lexique pour I 'explication de texte (Exeter, 1980)  
  • Benac, H., Vocabulaire de la dissertation (Paris, 1949)

  (Binac and Biard provide lists of technical terms used in close analysis of a literary text in French, and give explanations and examples of usage)  

When You Write

From Summary to Insight: A Guide to Writing Commentary Essays with Depth

Writing an essay can be daunting, let alone if you’re also providing commentary on it. But the reward of a job well done is worth the effort when you’re finished!

It has been noted that essays with thoughtful commentaries have a higher chance of being accepted for publication. So I’m here to help make it clear that essay writers need to understand the power of commentary and how to incorporate it into their work.

In this article, I’ll share my experience as a writer and provide insight on how to make your voice heard in an essay by using effective commentary. By following my advice, you’ll be able to craft a piece that stands out from the crowd and makes your thoughts shine through!

What Is Commentary In An Essay?

Over the course of your writing, you may have heard of the term ‘commentary’ in relation to essay writing. But what does it mean?

Simply put, commentary is analysis. It’s when you take a text and try to identify the deeper implications at play. In literary texts this could be symbolism, metaphors or dual meanings; with non-fiction texts it could include examining how an author makes use of evidence and arguments to support their position.

Writing a commentary essay requires close reading skills and the ability to interpret a wide range of information. It also requires you to think critically about how ideas are connected and draw conclusions about why certain elements are included in the text.

Commentary is an essential part of any essay because it allows your reader – who may not be as familiar with the text as you – to understand why you have drawn certain conclusions based on your interpretation.

It’s like giving them a guided tour through your thoughts and ideas so they can explore what makes your argument unique and interesting. Commentary also enables you to make connections between different aspects of the text that might not be obvious on first glance, helping bring out its significance even further.

By using commentary effectively, you can write an engaging essay that really gets your point across clearly.

The Significance Of Commentary In Essay Writing

Writing commentary in an essay can be a powerful tool for communicating ideas and arguments. It is essential to engage in critical thinking, interpretation, and analysis when writing commentary. Writing effective commentary requires the ability to construct a well-developed argument that supports the main point of the essay.

Here are 4 key elements of effective commentary:

  • A clear thesis statement
  • Relevant evidence that supports the argument
  • Interpretation and analysis of the evidence
  • A conclusion that summarizes the argument

Commentaries should be written with an engaging style that encourages readers to think critically about the topic at hand. Good literary commentary should be accessible, yet thought-provoking; it should both inform and entertain the audience. Additionally, it should challenge preconceived notions about a subject and provide an insightful perspective on why something matters or how it affects our lives.

In order to write effectively, one must first understand their audience and what they hope to communicate through their words. With this knowledge in mind, one can craft a compelling commentary that offers fresh insight into any given topic.

Transitioning seamlessly into the next section…

Key Elements Of Effective Commentary

Like the rising sun that signals a new day, effective commentary can offer a fresh perspective to an essay. With the right words and emphasis, it can engage readers in an entirely new way and bring them closer to understanding your argument.

Like a shimmering beacon of light, it has the power to grab their attention and draw them into your ideas.

Commentary does more than just summarize facts or provide background information – it also evaluates, interprets, and analyses information.

It’s an opportunity for you to delve into the heart of what you’re writing about, offering insight into its significance and exploring potential implications. By taking this approach, you can evaluate the importance of each point and develop your thesis with greater clarity.

Through thoughtful commentary, you can make connections between ideas that your readers may not have previously considered and help them reach their own conclusions about your argument.

Strategies For Writing Potent Commentary In Essays

Writing potent commentary in essays is essential to making a successful argument and gaining the reader’s interest. Here are four strategies that can help you write a good essay commentary:

Develop a strong thesis statement

A thesis statement serves as the core of your essay, and it should be explicit, engaging and supportable by evidence. It should also be concise so that readers can understand your main message immediately.

Understand the topic better

Spend some time researching the topic before you start writing to ensure you have a thorough understanding of it. This will give your commentary more depth and clarity.

Body And Paragraphs Organized

Make sure your body paragraphs are organized logically and clearly explain how your points relate to the overall theme or argument of your essay.

Each paragraph should have a single purpose, and make sure that all sentences within each paragraph work together to support that purpose.

Use literary analysis

When writing your commentary you can draw on elements like tone, imagery, diction, and syntax to make your argument more persuasive and compelling for readers. This will also help them better understand what you’re trying to communicate in your essay.

By incorporating these strategies into your essay writing process, you can create powerful commentary that effectively supports your argument and engages readers with meaningful insight into the text or topic at hand. With these tips in mind, let’s look at how to use quotations and examples in commentary to further enrich our arguments!

The Use Of Quotations And Examples In Commentary

Now that we’ve discussed strategies for writing powerful commentary in essays, let’s explore the use of quotations and examples when constructing these sentences.

Quotations and examples are essential for making strong commentary sentences that support an argument or analysis. When used correctly, they can be a great way to illustrate a point and add interest and texture to your argument.

When including a quotation in your commentary, it is important to make sure it is properly attributed. You should include both the author’s name and the source from which the quote was taken. This not only strengthens your argument by adding credibility, but it also shows you have done your research.

Examples are also effective for proving a point or introducing a new concept. They help to break up longer paragraphs, explain difficult concepts in more detail, and provide evidence or substantiation for an idea or opinion. When using examples in commentary sentences, it is important that they are relevant to the topic at hand and accurately represent what you are attempting to say in your essay.

With this information in mind, let’s move on to examining types of commentary in essays; comprehending the contrasts.

Types Of Commentary In Essays: Comprehending The Contrasts

As a student writing a commentary essay, it is important to understand the differences between analyzing, summarizing, and evaluating. To help comprehend these contrasts, let’s take a look at four main points:

1.      Analyzing – Looking closely at something and breaking it down into smaller parts to better understand it.

2.      Summarizing – Taking the information from a larger group of data and boiling it down into its key elements.

3.      Relating – Exploring how two or more ideas are connected and how they affect each other.

4.      Evaluating – Examining different aspects of an issue or argument and determining its worth or value by expressing an opinion about it.

Using these four points as a framework for writing your commentary essays can help you to be more effective in your analysis, summary and evaluation of any given topic.

Furthermore, this knowledge will also serve you well when crafting strategies for writing literary essays that contain thoughtful commentary elements.

With this in mind, let us now turn our attention to creating such strategies…

Strategies For Writing Commentary In Literary Essays

Having discussed the differences between types of commentary, let’s now turn to strategies for writing effective commentary in literary essays.

When it comes to providing commentary, it is important to understand that you are making a statement about something; whether it be an interpretation or opinion, you need to make a clear statement.

You should also comment on any phrases or passages that have stood out and explain why they are significant.

It is also important to identify the underlying message of the text. This means going beyond surface-level analysis and delving into the deeper meaning of the work.

To do this, think about what is not being said as much as what is being said.

Make sure your comments add depth to your analysis and provide new insights for your readers.

Finally, take care when constructing your sentences so that your points come across clearly and convincingly.

Writing Commentary For Convincing Essays

I’m sure you’re excited to finally get started on writing your commentary for a convincing essay! It can be intimidating to write about something without knowing what type of essay you’re working on. But if you take the time to read through the assignment and passage, you’ll have a much better idea of what you need to write.

When it comes to writing your commentary, try not to worry too much about “sounding smart” or “having all the right answers.” Instead, focus on writing like yourself—in your own voice, with your own ideas. The more authentic and engaging your writing is, the more persuasive it will be to readers.

So don’t be afraid to express yourself—you may just surprise yourself with how creative and interesting your thoughts can be! With that said, let’s move on to creating commentary that supports your thesis statement.

Creating Commentary That Supports Your Thesis Statement

As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20. Looking back now, it’s clear that writing an effective commentary for a convincing essay requires some finesse and insight.

When starting to write, it’s important to have a good understanding of the topic you are discussing and to provide enough context for your audience to understand what you are discussing. Additionally, it helps to have an understanding of opposing viewpoints before you start writing so that you can avoid falling into common traps.

To create commentary that supports your thesis statement effectively, there are a few things you need to keep in mind:

1.      Make sure your argument is sound and won’t be easily refuted by an opposing point of view.

2.      Avoid introducing new evidence or topics in your commentary; instead focus on the evidence already presented in the essay body.

3.      Take the time to help explain why certain evidence matters and why readers should care about it.

The goal of commentary is not just to express an opinion but also provide meaningful analysis that will help prove or disprove a point of view. By being mindful of these considerations when writing, it is possible to create effective commentary that will help readers better understand your argument and its implications.

Common Mistakes To Avoid In Commentary Writing

I think one of the biggest mistakes I can make when writing a commentary essay is to overgeneralize my points. It’s important to provide specific examples and evidence to back up my opinion and avoid making sweeping conclusions.

Additionally, when writing a commentary essay, it’s also easy to forget to include evidence to support my argument. Making sure to include evidence will make my piece of writing much more convincing and credible.

Avoiding Overgeneralization

When writing a commentary essay, it’s important to avoid overgeneralizing your topic.

Sure, it may be tempting to make sweeping statements about the issue at hand, but this won’t do justice to your argument.

Instead, try to focus on concrete evidence and facts that back up your opinion.

For example, include statistics or subjective accounts from experts in the field.

This will ensure that you don’t come off as too biased or uninformed in your commentary.

By avoiding overgeneralization and being specific in your evidence, you can present a much more convincing argument and captivate readers with innovation.

Remember: always strive for accuracy when building an argument!

Lack Of Evidence

When it comes to commentary writing, one of the biggest mistakes people make is not having enough evidence to back up their argument. Without any supporting evidence, your argument can easily be dismissed as biased and uninformed.

This is especially true when discussing contentious topics like politics or religion. It’s important to remember that you’re usually assigned a commentary essay for a reason—so make sure you have enough facts and figures to give your readers an informed opinion. Otherwise, you may struggle to convince them of your point of view.

To make sure your argument stands out from the crowd, research extensively and use concrete evidence whenever possible. This will show that you’ve put in the effort and will help ensure a more innovative outcome for your audience.

Tips For Revising And Editing Commentary

Revising and editing your commentary is an important step in writing an essay. It helps to ensure that you are conveying the most accurate and persuasive message.

To do this, it’s important to read through your writing again and summarize any points that you noticed while reading. This will allow you to make sure that each point is clear and concise. As students need to be able to write effectively, it is also important to pay close attention to the language used throughout the essay.

Looking for words that could be replaced with more precise ones or focusing on certain aspects of literature can help bring life to a paper.

It is also essential to check for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and other errors before submitting the essay. Making sure all of these elements are correct can help enhance the paper’s overall quality.

Additionally, as you review your work, look for any areas where clarification may be necessary. Taking a second look at what you wrote will help ensure that the reader fully understands all of your points and implications.

By following these tips when revising and editing commentary in an essay, readers can gain a clearer understanding of the author’s intended message.

Examples Of Strong And Poor Commentary In Essays

A necessary part of writing an essay is the commentary. It’s the all-important part that allows for a deeper understanding of what is being written and allows the reader to get a fuller picture of the writer’s thoughts.

Unfortunately, not everyone understands the need to understand commentary. Many writers think they can simply paraphrase their sources without paying attention to how they are using irony or antithesis, missing out on valuable opportunities to add depth and complexity to their work.

Commentary should be used to engage readers in a way that speaks directly to their subconscious desire for innovation. It should be written in a personal tone of voice with contractions and an engaging style that will grab readers’ attention and make them want more.

If done correctly, it can bring new life and insight into an essay, allowing it to stand out from the rest.

Paragraph Construction With Commentary

In this section, I’m going to be talking about paragraph construction with commentary. As part of writing an essay, it is important to think about how you are going to use literary elements and techniques to convey your main idea or argument. I was always taught by my instructor that the way you structure your paragraphs can really make a difference in how effective your message is.

So, let’s take a look at some tips for constructing well-crafted paragraphs that provide an engaging commentary.

First of all, try not to write too long of a sentence as this can lead to confusion for the reader.

Secondly, make sure that each paragraph has one clear point that ties back into the main argument or idea you are trying to convey in your essay.

Finally, use transition words and phrases as needed throughout the essay so that readers can easily follow along with your discussion.

All these steps help ensure that readers understand and appreciate what you have written in your essay. With these tips in mind, let’s move on to discussing transition words and phrases for commentary.

Transition Words And Phrases For Commentary

In the world of higher education, commentary is a powerful tool that can bring literature to life in a way that no other piece can. It’s almost magical how one can take an otherwise mundane poem and turn it into something extraordinary with just a few words. Commentary has the ability to transform isolation into coherence in ways that are simply astounding!

Here is a 4-point list for successful commentary:

1.      Read the text multiple times before writing any comments.

2.      Take notes on what stands out most to you.

3.      Use concrete examples from the text to better illustrate your points.

4.      Be sure to engage with your audience in a way that encourages them to think more deeply about the subject matter at hand.

Commentary is an invaluable skill for anyone looking to make their mark on a piece of literature, so use it wisely and always strive for excellence! With this knowledge, we can now move on to exploring how to write a conclusion with commentary – do’s and don’ts included!

Writing A Conclusion With Commentary: Do’s And Don’ts

Now that you know the transition words and phrases for commentary, it’s time to learn how to write a conclusion with commentary. It can seem complicated, but it doesn’t have to be.

One of the most important things to remember is not to rely too heavily on your homework. Spending too much time memorizing facts and figures won’t help you in the long run when it comes to showcasing your opinion. Therefore, try to focus on critical thinking skills instead of wasting time studying for hours on end.

While two sentences are usually enough for a conclusion, make sure that each one packs a punch and is full of insight and analysis. Hone your skills by getting feedback from others so you can refine your writing and develop a style that resonates with any reader.

This can help ensure that your concluding remarks leave an impactful impression on those who read them.

Overall, effective commentary is essential for producing a successful essay.

Writing commentary allows you to demonstrate your understanding and personal thoughts on the topic and can really amplify your argument.

By incorporating examples, quotations, and other evidence into your commentary, you are able to bring life to your writing in a manner that will make it stand out from the crowd.

As an age-old proverb says, “A picture paints a thousand words”; similarly, strong commentary paints an even grander picture of your argument.

With these tips in mind, I look forward to seeing you all write some truly standout essays!

Recommended Reading...

Breaking down essays: how many paragraphs should you have, how to become a ghostwriter, how to become a fortune cookie writer, what is technical writing.

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How to Write a Commentary

Last Updated: May 19, 2023 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Richard Perkins . Richard Perkins is a Writing Coach, Academic English Coordinator, and the Founder of PLC Learning Center. With over 24 years of education experience, he gives teachers tools to teach writing to students and works with elementary to university level students to become proficient, confident writers. Richard is a fellow at the National Writing Project. As a teacher leader and consultant at California State University Long Beach's Global Education Project, Mr. Perkins creates and presents teacher workshops that integrate the U.N.'s 17 Sustainable Development Goals in the K-12 curriculum. He holds a BA in Communications and TV from The University of Southern California and an MEd from California State University Dominguez Hills. There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 677,091 times.

At some point in your life, you'll probably have to write a commentary. Whether you're a teacher, editor, student, or amateur critic, knowing how to constructively analyze someone's work is a useful skill. There isn't a magical formula for writing a commentary. The commentary you write depends upon what you're reviewing, why you're giving feedback, and what you think about the work. No matter what you’re working on, having a clear goal and strong writing will help make your commentary successful.

Writing a Literary Commentary

Step 1 Define your thesis.

  • Your thesis is your argument or your point of view. This is where you take a stance, and spend the rest of the essay supporting your thesis.
  • Maybe you are writing a commentary on Great Expectations . Your thesis could be, “Not only is Dickens’ tale engaging, it is also an insightful commentary on the differences between social classes in industrial Britain.”

Richard Perkins

  • You might write at the top of your outline, “Important Themes in Great Expectations”. You could then make bullet points such as “Setting”, “Ambition”, “Class”, etc.

Step 3 Introduce your topic.

  • You might start by saying, “ Great Expectations is full of imagery that makes the reader feel as if they are in 19th century England with Pip. Dickens’ novel about class, ambition, and love sheds important light on the social divides of the time.”
  • You could then list the themes that you will discuss in the body of your commentary.

Step 4 Use specific examples to support your thesis.

  • An excellent specific example to illustrate this theme is pointing out that the character remains in her wedding dress, despite being jilted decades before.

Step 5 Connect your examples back to the theme.

  • You might write something like, “Miss Havisham is an example of the theme that love can sometimes go terribly wrong. This is also an important theme when examining the relationship between Pip and Estella.”
  • Make sure to use smooth transitions. When you move to a new example, use a good transition word or phrase. Some examples are “similarly”, “conversely”, and “again”.

Step 6 Write a strong conclusion.

  • In your commentary on Great Expectations , you would want to make sure that you emphasize your summary again: this is a good example of class divisions and how ambition is not always the best quality.
  • You might also choose to compare it to another book from the same period to illustrate why the work by Dickens is significant. However, you generally shouldn’t introduce new information in your conclusion.

Creating Data Commentary

Step 1 Understand the guidelines.

  • You might also be asked by your boss or teacher to write a data commentary. Make sure to ask about their expectations, such as length.

Step 2 Present your summary.

  • For example, if the research is about the graduation rate in the Chicago Public Schools, you need to explain the numbers and illustrate why the results are important.

Step 3 Emphasize key points.

  • You might say something like, “As shown in Figure 1.2, the costs of healthcare have risen at a steady rate since 2000.”

Step 4 Provide a conclusion.

  • As in the rest of your data commentary, your conclusion should refer to specific pieces of data.

Step 5 Include your resources.

  • You should include a specific section for resources at the end of your data commentary.
  • Any time you cite numbers or a quote, make sure to provide a reference.

Commentary Outlines

creative writing commentary example

Expert Q&A

Richard Perkins

  • If you are writing a commentary for a class, make sure to carefully follow the instructions. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • Make sure to carefully edit and polish your writing. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

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  • ↑ https://www.bucks.edu/media/bcccmedialibrary/pdf/HOWTOWRITEALITERARYANALYSISESSAY_10.15.07_001.pdf
  • ↑ Richard Perkins. Writing Coach & Academic English Coordinator. Expert Interview. 1 September 2021.
  • ↑ http://www.udc.edu/docs/asc/Outline_Structure_for_Literary_Analysis_Essay_HATMAT.pdf
  • ↑ https://www.germanna.edu/wp-content/uploads/tutoring/handouts/Literary-Analysis.pdf
  • ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/writing-data-commentary/
  • ↑ https://ebooks.hslu.ch/academicwriting/chapter/4-5-results/
  • ↑ https://warwick.ac.uk/fac/arts/modernlanguages/intranet/undergraduate/skills/commesswriting/commentarywriting/
  • ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4789530/

About This Article

Richard Perkins

To write a commentary, write about your observations and analysis of the text you read. You should craft a clear and specific thesis statement about the novel, poem, or play you are evaluating. Your thesis statement should explain your stance or argument about the text. Use this thesis statement to build a brief outline of your commentary and then choose specific details from the text to support your argument. Then, add an introduction to give your reader some context for the themes you will discuss. For tips from our Education reviewer on how to write a data commentary, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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  • What Is The Creative Response?
  • What Are You Expected To Cover? (Creative Writing Criteria)
  • Literary Elements (Characterisation, Themes, Language, Symbolism, Imagery)
  • LSG's unique REPLICATE and IMAGINE strategy
  • Sample A+ Creative Response
  • Writing The Written Explanation
  • Resources To Help You Prepare For Your Creative Response

1. What Is The Creative Response?

The Creative Response, which forms part of the ‘Reading and creating texts’ component of the study design, is part of the 1st Area of Study (AoS 1) - meaning that the majority of students will tackle the Creative Response in Term 1. Unlike the analytical text response, in the Creative Response you will be asked to write your own imaginative piece in response to a selected text. 

You are expected to read and understand the selected text, analyse its key features, and write a creative piece which demonstrates your comprehension of the text.

2. What Are You Expected To Cover? (Creative Writing Criteria)

The creative writing task assesses your ability to combine features of an existing text with your own original ideas. The key intention here is to demonstrate your understanding of the world of the text. You can achieve this by exploring and applying selected elements from the text, such as context, themes, literary devices like symbols, and/or characters. You should also consider the values embedded within the text - this includes explicit values (which can be seen on the surface of the text) and implied values (values we uncover through analysis of the text’s deeper meaning). Try to reflect these values within your writing. 

Your piece will be a creative response, after all, so you should apply the conventions of this style of writing. Firstly, your creative should follow the structure of a beginning, middle, and end. We can also think of this as rising tension, climax, and resolution. Secondly, you should develop an authentic use of language, voice and style to make your writing more engaging and sophisticated. Thirdly, you can use literary devices to build meaning and depth within your piece. As always, your writing should be consistent with the rules of spelling, punctuation, and syntax (that is, written expression) in Standard Australian English.

Part of this assessment is the Written Explanation, which is a chance for you to explain and justify your creative writing choices. Within the Written Explanation, you should reflect on your writing process and analyse your own work. The primary goal here is to explain the links you’ve made to the original text, by considering features like purpose, context, and language. 

Ultimately, to put it simply, you are expected to understand the selected text and demonstrate this in your creative piece. If you're looking to quickly increase your creative skills, watch our incredibly popular video below:

3. Literary Elements (Characterisation, Themes, Language, Symbolism, Imagery)

Literary elements are different parts of the creative writing equation that ensure your piece is consistent with the expected features of this type of writing. When selecting which literary elements to include in your piece, remember to consider the original text and ensure that your work, while creative, also demonstrates your ability to replicate some of its elements.

Characterisation

As we know, characters are fictionalised people within the world of a creative text. Almost an entire century ago, the English writer E. M. Forster famously introduced the concept of flat and round characters in his 1927 book, ‘Aspects of the Novel’. According to Forster, flat characters can be defined by a single characteristic; in other words, they are two-dimensional. For example, the characters of The Simpsons could arguably all be defined as flat characters; Homer is characterised as a slob, Flanders is defined by his Christian faith, Lisa is stereotyped as the ‘teacher’s pet’, and Bart is portrayed as rebellious. We can define all of these characters as flat because they are labelled to the audience in these two-dimensional ways.

In contrast to this, round characters have multiple characteristics, which brings them closer to seeming like real, human figures. The personality of these characters extends beyond a single attribute. In Harry Potter , Harry himself is a round character because of how much we learn about him over the course of the series. For example, we find out about Harry’s difficult childhood, his personal challenges, his love interests, and we see his personality grow from book to book. 

Whether the characters of your creative are flat or round will depend on their involvement within, and importance to, the storyline of your piece. Generally speaking, however, you should aim for the central character(s) to be round, while any minor characters are likely to be flat. Developing round major characters will ensure that they are realistic and believable. In turn, you’ll be able to better demonstrate your imaginative skills and understanding of the text through these characters. 

Themes are the key ideas and issues that are relevant to the storyline of a fictional text. We can identify themes by labelling the main areas of meaning within a text and thinking about the messages that emerge throughout the text. To build your understanding of themes within a particular text and to evaluate the themes of your own creative, consider the following questions:

  • What is the text really about, beyond superficial elements like plot and character?
  • What is the text saying to its reader?
  • What are the core idea(s) or issue(s) within the text?
  • What idea(s) or issue(s) do the message(s) of the text correspond with?

To return to our example of The Simpsons , we could say that the themes within this sitcom include love and family, neighbourliness, and social class. From episode to episode, The Simpsons comments on these different issues. For example, Marge and Homer’s relationship, with its domestic setting and marital ups and downs, is a core aspect of the Simpsons household. Likewise, family is a major component of not only the Simpsons themselves, but also the broader Springfield community. The interactions between parents and children is evident on Evergreen Terrace with the Simpsons and the Flanders families, as well as in other settings such as Springfield Elementary School (where even an adult Principal Skinner is seen through his relationship with his elderly mother). These broad areas can be identified as the key thematic concerns of the series because each episode centres around these ideas.

Language refers to the way in which a piece of writing is expressed. We can define this as the ‘style’, or ‘tone’, of a text. The words and phrasing chosen by a writer determine how ideas are communicated. Effective language will be appropriate for the world of the text and contribute to the narrative in a meaningful way. There are a number of ways in which a piece of writing can be articulated and you should consider the nature of your piece and the language of the original text when deciding what type of language is most appropriate for your creative.

Dialogue, on the other hand, is an exchange of conversation between characters. Dialogue is often used to provide context to a text, develop its storyline, or offer direct insight into a character’s thoughts, feelings and personality. ‍

A symbol can be defined as a thing that represents something else. Symbols are typically material objects that hold abstract meaning. For example, in Harry Potter , Harry’s scar is a symbol of his difficult childhood. Because Harry’s scar causes him pain in Voldemort’s presence, it can also be said that the scar is symbolic of the connection forged between Harry and Voldemort when his attempt to kill Harry failed. As this example suggests, symbols are often associated with the text’s themes - in this case, Harry’s scar relates to the themes of childhood and death. 

The key with symbolism is to connect a particular theme or idea to a physical object. For example, the theme of grief could be portrayed through a photo of someone who has died. Likewise, the theme of change might be represented by a ticking clock, while a character’s clothing could be a symbol of their wealth or status.

For more literary elements, also known as metalanguage, check out our lists:

Part 1 – Metalanguage Word Bank For Books

Part 2 – Metalanguage Word Bank For Films With Examples

And if that's not enough, you'll also want to check out our How To Write A Killer Creative Study Guide where we unpack these elements in more detail AND analyse imagery, foreshadowing, flash-backs and flash-forwards! 

4. LSG's unique REPLICATE and IMAGINE Strategy

If we think about the criteria of creative writing, we’ll see that much of this task involves demonstrating your understanding of the text. For this reason, being able to replicate the world of the text will enable you to showcase your understanding and, in turn, to meet the criteria your teacher will be looking for. Let’s consider how you can strengthen your creative by taking the time to understand the text on a meaningful level and reflect this within your writing.

Step 1: Read

Writing a strong creative piece begins with reading. Reading the text (or watching, in the case of a film) is essential to developing an informed creative response. The more closely you read, the more confidently you’ll be able to engage with the important ideas and textual elements necessary to take your creative from good to great. 

While reading the text for the first time, focus on developing your understanding and clarifying any uncertainty. I would recommend taking the time to read a plot summary before beginning on the text - this will allow you to go in with a reasonable idea of what to expect, and also provide a security net to minimise your likelihood of misunderstanding the plot. 

While reading the text once is sufficient, you will benefit from reading it twice. A second reading enables you to take the time to annotate key sections of the text and to further your initial understanding. If you choose to read the text a second time, pay extra attention to the themes and inner-workings of the text. This means reading between the lines and starting to form an analytical understanding of what the text is about, beyond surface ideas like plot and character. 

Annotating the text (or note-taking, in the case of a film) is an important aspect of any academic reading. The key intention is to ensure your annotation approach is as convenient and accessible as possible. To achieve this, I suggest listing the key themes, allocating a different coloured highlighter to each, and colour-coding sections of the text which you think relate to each specific theme. This will give your annotating process more direction compared to the common approach of simply leaving notes in the margin, which may be time-consuming to read over later. 

I would also recommend making the most of coloured tabs - these enable you to immediately see the key sections of the text, rather than flicking through aimlessly. If you can colour-code these tabs according to the same key as your highlighters, you’ll be able to instantly spot which sections correspond with which theme (and trust me, this will come in handy if you decide to replicate these themes in your own creative).

Aside from annotating the text itself, try to ensure that the notes you write are concise - not only will this save you time, but it’ll mean you focus on condensing the key information. In turn, you’ll have less material to sift through later on, giving you the ability to jump straight into planning and drafting your own piece. This video, How to effectively annotate your books for school! and this blog post, How to effectively annotate your texts in VCE will provide you with more helpful strategies to get the most out of annotating. ‍

Step 2: Understand the World of the Text

‍ Regardless of how many times you read the text, your understanding will be strengthened by seeking out resources to help you think about the text on a deeper level. A good starting point for this is to have a look for LSG blog posts and videos that are about your specific text.

Watching or reading interviews with the author of the text is a fantastic way to hear directly about their intention in writing the text - after all, they are the single most authoritative source on the text. The goal here is to understand the author’s intent (something we’ll expand on in Chapter 8: Strengthening Your Creative ) so that you can reflect this within your own writing. Focus on how the author explains certain aspects of their text, as well as any points they make about its context and background. 

Additionally, peer discussions and asking questions in class will help you to further develop your understanding of the text and clarify any uncertainty. Seeing the text from another’s perspective will develop your knowledge beyond a superficial understanding of the text and introduce ideas you may not have otherwise considered.

Remember to take notes as you go - these will be useful to reflect on later. ‍

Step 3: Implement Your Understanding ‍

Okay, so you’ve taken the time to read and annotate the text, and you’ve sought out external resources to further develop your comprehension. Now we want to apply this understanding within a creative context. Reflect on what you know about the text. Think closely: What have you learnt about its context, characters, and themes? What elements of the text stand out? The goal here is to draw inspiration from the text and begin to think about which aspects of the text you might like to replicate within your creative piece. Begin to put together a shortlist to keep track of your ideas. The aim here is to develop a picture of the parts of the text you might decide to replicate in your own writing. 

Although understanding and replicating the text is important, if we were to only do this, your piece wouldn’t have much creative flair or originality. Here, we’ve taught you the ‘ Replicate ’ component of this strategy . If you’d like additional information about how to elevate this to an A+ standard AND a comprehensive explanation of the ‘ Imagine ’ component, check out our How to Write A Killer Creative study guide ! ‍

5. Sample A+ Creative Response

Here's a sample excerpt from a creative piece written by Taylah Russell, LSG tutor and 47 study scorer, in response to the short story 'Waiting' in Cate Kennedy's anthology, Like a House on Fire :

"The clinician presses forcefully into my lower abdomen, refusing to stop and accept my reality. The poor thing, deprived of such hopelessness as I, seems to honestly believe that the longer he agonises over finding something, the more likely it is that some form of life will appear. That those horoscopes in those grimy magazines, written by journalists who’ve probably been fired from their former reputable jobs, may actually hold some validity. I place my hands over my eyes, tentatively pressing against my eyelids, turning my surroundings a dark black and blocking the stream of water that has readied itself to spill when the time comes, when that young boy finally gives up and realises that his degree holds no value in providing me with happiness."

As we can see in this paragraph, the writer is replicating certain themes from the original text, such as grief. Additionally, this piece is written from the perspective of the original protagonist, which means that its characters and context are also directly inspired by Kennedy. Ultimately, by carrying across these text elements of theme, character, and context, the writer is able to clearly demonstrate an extensive knowledge of the text , while also showcasing their creativity. To see more of this creative piece as well as another A+ example, check out the How to Write A Killer Creative study guide !

6. Writing The Written Explanation ‍

For a detailed overview of the Written Explanation, check out our Written Explanation Explained blog post. ‍

7. Resources To Help You Prepare For Your Creative Response

Youtube videos ‍.

We create general creative writing videos where I explain the method behind this task: ‍

We also create videos that outline ways you can set yourself apart in this assessment:

‍ ‍ Check out our entire YouTube channel (and don't forget to subscribe for regular new videos!). ‍

Blog Posts ‍

Our awesome team of English high-achievers have written a number of blog posts about creative writing to help you elevate the standard of your work! ‍

5-Step Recipe for Creative Writing   ‍

How to achieve A+ in creative writing (Reading and Creating) ‍

"Creative Response to Text" Ideas ‍

Written Explanation - Explained ‍

Reading My 10/10 Marked CREATIVE GAT essay ‍

VCE Creative Response to Runaway by Alice Munro

VCE English Unit 3, Areas of Study 2: Creating Texts - What Is It?

VCE Creative Writing: How To Structure Your Story

Study guide ‍.

And if that isn't enough, I'd highly recommend our How To Write A Killer Creative study guide .

In this study guide, we teach you the unique REPLICATE and IMAGINE strategy, a straightforward and methodical approach to creative writing. The study guide also covers our step-by-step method to guide you through every phase of creative writing (no more not knowing where to start!) AND includes excerpts from multiple A+ creative pieces. Find out more and download a free preview here . 

Get our FREE VCE English Text Response mini-guide

Now quite sure how to nail your text response essays? Then download our free mini-guide, where we break down the art of writing the perfect text-response essay into three comprehensive steps. Click below to get your own copy today!

creative writing commentary example

Access a FREE sample of our How To Write A Killer Creative study guide

  • Learn how to apply key creative frameworks and literary elements to elevate your writing
  • Introduces the REPLICATE and IMAGINE strategy , a straightforward and methodical approach to creative writing
  • Includes a step-by-step method to guide you through every phase of creative writing
  • Explains the Written Explanation component, with multiple annotated A+ examples
  • Includes excerpts from multiple A+ creative pieces

creative writing commentary example

We’ve explored creative writing criteria, literary elements and how to replicate the text over on our The Ultimate Guide to VCE Creative Writing blog post . If you need a quick refresher or you’re new to creative writing, I highly recommend checking it out!

For many students, writing creative pieces can be slightly daunting. For some, it is about unleashing the writer within as the boundaries and thematic constraints that exist in Text Response are lifted. For others, it can be an opportunity to discover new writing styles, branching out from the generic T-E-E-L structure.

Formats of imaginative pieces include:

  • short narratives,
  • a personal diary entry ,
  • chronicling the character's thoughts,
  • and monologues.

Writing in an imaginative style allows you to draw from your own morals, views and feelings. You can weave in personal anecdotes, experiences, and metaphorical language which gives one's writing that pizazz and individualist factor!

Moreover, you can showcase how you have perceived and interpreted the characters within the novel/film, the landscapes they inhabit. Alternatively, you can step into different personas. For example, for the topic of conflict, I can write as an injured army medic, a doctor, a foreign correspondent and a war photographer.

However, imaginative writing also has many pitfalls students tumble into (do not despair; you can get out of it!):

1) Don't get too caught up in emotions and flowery language.

Great imaginative pieces are not only graded on how good your story telling skills are. More importantly, your teachers would be grading on the palpable links to the themes of the text and prompt you have been given.

In Year 11, when I wrote an imaginative piece, I went overboard with the flowery metaphorical language. My teacher said ‘Overall, the piece is good however, at some parts it sounded like purple prose.’ When I read it over now, I shudder a little.

2) In Reading and Creative, there is greater emphasis on extrapolating themes and ideas from your studied text.  

So, those radical and out-of-the box ideas and views you have in relation to the text can now be used.

For example, the overarching themes in  Every Man In This Village Is A Liar  encompass the Palestinian-Israeli conflict, inequality (the unequal status of women in Middle East), the effect of war on the physical body and the human psych and, how the media portrays war and violence. The starting point to planning any context piece is to use quotes and ideas within your text. Infer meaning from those quotes and main ideas and ask yourself:

  • 'Does it hold a great degree of relevance to issues prevalent today?'
  • 'Can I link it to my sac/exam prompt?' 

So, here's an example of planning a creative piece. Two of my favourite quotes from  Life of Galileo  are:

'Science is the rightful, much loved daughter of the church.'
‘Our ignorance is limitless; let us lop off a millimeter off it. Why try to be clever now that we at last have a chance of being less stupid.’

In essence, this conveys the overarching theme of science vs. religion, and how Church and the inquisition exploit the peoples' views through their own ignorance. Their fear of change, pioneering and gaining of new knowledge stems from the prospect of chaos if society's entrenched values are uprooted. I interpreted this as 'ignorance is not bliss' and instead, it breeds fear in people. This is in relevance with the tragic events that has occurred in recent years - acts of terrorism, and/or racially motivated attacks. In the context of our modern society, religion and science still maintain an intriguing and tumultuous relationship. As the advancement of technology and ethics are not at equilibrium, this is where controversy arises. Conversely, we now have to consider whether this relates to the prompt:

A person never knows who they truly are, until tested by conflict.

Possible idea for this example:

"Is it ethical to administer a new drug capable of rewiring and regenerating brain function at a neuronal level to someone who has sustained extensive brain damage? Is it deemed humane to potentially change a person's character? At what personal cost will this have? - Playing god."

Tips to achieve A+ in creative writing

1. ensure it is related to the text..

A lot of students believe that the reading and creating essay is exactly the same as the old context essay. However, there is a significant difference! While a creative context essay does not have to link to the text in any way and only needs to explore a certain idea (e.g. encountering conflict), the reading and creating essay needs to offer a relevant interpretation of the text as well as show understanding of the text’s messages and how the text creates meaning .

The easiest way to write a creative response that links clearly to the text is to write about a scenario that is related to the plot line. You can do this by writing a continuation of the storyline (i.e. what happens after the end?), or by filling in gaps in the plot line which the author did not explicitly outline (what happens behind the scenes that caused the outcome?) In this way, your response will be completely original and still demonstrate an understanding of the world of the text.

2. Write in a way that shows understanding of how the text creates meaning.

When creating your response, be aware of the features present in your text (such as characters, narrative, motifs etc) that you can use in your own essay. For example, if the text is narrated from a first-person perspective, you may also mimic this in your essay. Or, you could tell it in first-person from another character’s point of view to demonstrate another interpretation of the text. You may also include motifs from the text into your own response. But be careful when making decisions about structure, conventions and language. If the text is written in very formal and concise language, it is probably not a good idea to use slang. Similarly, if the text is a play, structuring your response as a script might be a better choice than writing a poem!

3. Explore the explicit and implied ideas and values in the texts.

Lastly, remember that whilst it is a creative response, your purpose is NOT to tell a nice story but to explore the ideas, values and messages left by the author! There will always be various interpretations regarding these values, and you can express your understanding of the text through your portrayal of certain characters, or through the events in your response. For example, if you were studying Measure for Measure and wanted to explore how human nature cannot be restrained or limited by law and punishment, you could write a continuation of the play in which the city of Vienna has reverted to its original state of moral decay.

4. Show, don't tell

Creative essays are great because they offer interesting and unique stories; however, there is one common downfall that occurs in writing. Some students create pieces that are  too  straightforward. Rather than using vocabulary, imagery and symbolism to express a point, they simply write down a statement that sums up what they wish to say. Your aim is to invite the reader to  experience  the story through your words. This can be done through the character’s thoughts, feelings, actions etc. Thus the well-known phrase among writers, ‘ Show, don’t tell’ . Keeping this idea in mind turn you into a much more successful writer – and you’ll see the difference!

Tell: Katie was very happy.

Show: Katie’s face lifted. Little wrinkles appeared around her bright eyes, her dimples made an appearance that dug into her cheeks as a big grin emerged to show her perfect teeth.

Tell: She felt horrible for the weeping children.

Show: Guilt throbbed inside her as she stared at the weeping children. Her heart pounded against her chest, her hands trembling beside her still body, her brain screaming at her to do  something .

Tell: I was scared.

Show: I hear my breathing; heavy, and rapid. I shut my eyes tightly. I can feel goosebumps running up my arms and down my back.

To test whether or not you are ‘telling’ instead of ‘showing’, think about whether or not your sentence leaves room for questions. In Example 1, ‘Katie was very happy’ would leave the reader thinking – what thought or action showed that she was happy? Whereas ‘show’ demonstrated that she was happy without directly stating it.

The key is to go into the finer details of your story!

Finally, have fun and enjoy the process of planning a creative narrative, let your imagination run a little wild and rein it in with your knowledge! Hopefully these tips were helpful and you are now more confident and informed on the Reading and Creating response! 

This blog post was written by Amanda Lau, Rosemary Chen, and Lisa Tran.

It’s getting closer to the Literature exam and you’re probably starting to get more serious about avoiding dropping too many SAC marks! Depending on which order your school does Literature SACs in, you may be currently facing the often feared ‘Creative Response’. Whether you feel beyond excited to finally bring some creative flair to Literature, or you’re totally scared at the thought of creating something new, I wanted to use this blog post to help you achieve at least ten of the marks in this section. That is through the reflective commentary, which you can totally score full marks on if you put in the effort.

The VCAA Literature Study Design determines that students must submit ‘a reflective commentary establishing connections with the original text’. This aspect of the assessment counts for 10 of the 60 marks available for the Creative Response outcome. The study design further denotes that students must

‘reflect critically upon their own responses as they relate to the text, and discuss the purpose context of their creations’.

This allows your schools and teachers to direct in a relatively broad way on how you should form your reflective commentary, and may mean your friends at other schools write theirs in a very different way. In this blog post I will leave you with a suggestion of how I best believe a reflective commentary could be structured to include all important aspects, as well as tips on how to include all of what the study design asks. As I said, these are ten marks that can easily be snatched with just a little bit of hard work and attention to detail, so why not snatch them?

To induce the things needed to be included in the reflective commentary, we can look to the key knowledge and key skills points outlined in the study design:

Key knowledge:

- the point of view, context and form of the original text,

- the ways the central ideas of the original text are represented,

- the features of the original text including ideas, images characters and situations, and the language in which these are expressed,

- techniques used to create, recreate or adapt a text and how they represent particular concerns or attitudes.

Key skills:

- identify elements of construction, context, point of view and form particular to the text, and apply understanding of these in a creative response

- choose stylistically appropriate features including characterisation, setting, narrative, tone and style

- critically reflect on how language choices and literary features from the original text are used in the adaptation

What you’re really trying to do in your reflective commentary is prove to your teacher that you are hitting all these key knowledge and key skills points. As you write, ensure you are discussing how the author uses point of view, context, form, elements of construction and stylistic features in their text. It is than imperative that you describe how you have similarly used such device in your creative response. Ensure that you also discuss how you are involving the ideas and themes of the text in your creative piece, and how you are discussing them further, or exploring them in greater depth. Obviously only talk about those that are relevant to your creative response!

Sample reflective commentary

Having scored a 10/10 in my own reflective commentary, I will provide a structure that can be used to ensure you are including everything you need. I discussed my own reactions to the original text, and described how I wanted to rouse similar reactions in the reader of my creative response.

In your reflective commentary, it can be easier to put everything under subheadings. These are the ones that I used:

-Characterisation

-Literary features (here I chose 7 particular literary features used in my text and discussed how I emulated them)

Under each of these paragraphs, I analysed how the author used such features to create and convey meaning, and discussed how I, in my own piece, drew on her use of them and expanded on her ideas. Here is an example of my ‘Purpose’ paragraph, which will hopefully give you an idea on how you might write your own commentary! My text was Cate Kennedy’s  Dark Roots , in particular the short story ‘What Thou and I Did, Till we Loved’.

In my piece, I ultimately attempted to lead the reader to a place of discomfort, faced with a situation that they wish never to be faced with. When I first read What Thou and I Did, Till we Loved (Dark Roots, Cate Kennedy), I simply wished never to be in Rebecca’s position, as I was sobered by the sadness of her demise as she watched her lover fade away. I sought to elicit the same response from the reader, as I aimed to convey the deterioration that both lovers suffer, as well as the loss of communication between them. I also attempted to allow the reader to question the humanity in keep people alive by machines and drugs, and whether it is fair to force people to live an unnatural life. I have sought to explore this even further than What Thou and I Did, Till we Loved bringing in the question of euthanasia and whether we have a right to die as Kyle begs of Max to “kill me” at the end of the piece, and Max concedes that “[he] would if [he] could”. The themes of my piece seeks to explore are the ways of coping with grief, guilt at causing the illness of a loved one, a life with a lack of substance, and the loss of communication due to illness.

Hopefully you’re feeling better about how you might go about completing your creative response, and getting that 10/10 on your reflective commentary!

Here’s how to get ahead of this brand new VCE English Unit. 

What Is ‘Creating Texts’?

If you’re in Year 12 this year, chances are you will begin studying the Creating Texts Area of Study very soon (if you haven’t started already). This new AoS in the 2024 study design has essentially expanded and replaced the previous study design’s approach to creative writing, now placing a greater focus on the process of creating texts and embracing multiple forms of writing.

Here’s what the study design states the outcome of this unit is:

‘On completion of this unit the student should be able to demonstrate effective writing skills by producing their own texts, designed to respond to a specific context and audience to achieve a stated purpose; and to explain their decisions made through writing processes.’ (VCAA English Study Design, 2024-2027)

So, while before VCAA did not place a heavy focus on this unit, now it is heavily emphasised, being one of the three sections of the English exam. Now, more so than before, you are required to write – even if just a little bit – creatively.

Given that Creating Texts is now reflected in the end-of-year exam, it is very important to nail it. And to do that, you first need to know what this Area of Study is all about.

Framework of Ideas

A big part of this AoS is the Framework of Ideas , which provides students and, perhaps most importantly, schools, with thematic guides to encourage discussion and unique writing. The study design states:

‘ The Framework of Ideas presents four broad ideas through which students can engage with writing’. 

Here’s what they are, as directly taken from the study design:

  • Writing about country: 'Exploration of place and belonging'

You can also explore ideas of one’s sense of national belonging, the climate crisis, colonisation and decolonisation, and different forms of cultural identities in relation to the land. Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander perspectives can also be addressed.

  • Writing about protest: 'Explorations of conflict and contest, what it means to protest, the value of protest, the outcomes of protest, personal stories of protest, struggle and war'

For this framework, you can dive deep into prominent figures who spearheaded social movements through protests, or you can look at protest more broadly and investigate its role and effectiveness within society, the history of protest and its many facets.

  •   Writing about personal journeys: 'Explorations of ‘life’ or biographical explorations'

Ideas surrounding the importance of storytelling and personal change, and invitations for students to create autobiographical written pieces are also outlined in the study design.

  •   Writing about play: 'Explorations of experiences and traditions of play and playing in many cultures and through history'

This framework also invites thought into how play intersects with technology, the role of play and make-believe in our daily lives, and even how performance and social media may influence how we view the world today.

NOTE: The study design also offers many other possible ways to explore these ideas, so make sure to check it out and read it carefully. It can be found HERE .

As you can see, the ideas within the frameworks are very broad. This was intentionally done, so that you have ample opportunity to find something within those ideas that engage you. Your school will choose only one of these frameworks, so you are in no way expected to dissect all four – that would be a huge undertaking!

Mentor Texts

There are also four mentor texts for each framework, which range from TED Talks, blog posts, short stories, speeches and argumentative articles, to name a few. Their purpose in the curriculum is to serve as examples of effective writing, as the selected texts show a competent understanding of context, purpose and audience , as well as confident use of textual features such as tone, vocabulary and authorial voice. This is similar to what you might have encountered in Year 11, where you were asked to read and analyse a range of creative texts to then inform your own writing.

When studying your mentor texts, make sure to keep all of this in mind and carefully analyse each text and what is successful about them in relation to your framework. This will make your life much easier when it comes to writing your own.

If you don’t feel very confident in creating texts or think these frameworks are very broad and hard to come up with good ideas for, just remember that you’re not going into this unit completely blind, neither are you expected to write completely from scratch.

Besides your experience last year, your given framework and mentor texts are there to provide a guide to effective writing and introduce you to many different ideas, so make sure to use them to your advantage! Besides, having more freedom in a creative writing task should definitely be viewed as a benefit rather than a hindrance. 

Oh No! Does This Mean I Have To Write a Narrative? 

No, it doesn’t! If the aforementioned formats of the mentor texts were any indication, this AoS encourages you to embrace the variety of different writing styles.

When before you might have been required to write within a narrative format or asked to ‘fill a gap’ in an already existing short story, now you have the freedom to write in whatever way you want, and it does not need to be a narrative, let alone fictional storytelling.

In the context of the Creating Texts AoS, ‘creative writing’ does not only equate to creating fictional characters, worlds and narratives. Instead, it gives way to the many other forms of writing that show off a writer’s creativity, which is not solely dependent on what is written, but also how and why the text has been written. This links back to the context, purpose and audience idea I talked about before.

The study design also heavily focuses on the process of writing and experimentation and not just the final draft. This AoS is your chance to fully immerse yourself in writing, so you should make sure to brainstorm and try new modes of writing you might not have thought of before. You might end up surprising yourself and coming up with great texts!

So, here’s a non-exhaustive list of writing styles you can choose to tackle:

  • Your classic narrative or short story
  • Argumentative article
  • Transcript of a Podcast episode
  • Poetry/Song (just remember you are not allowed to write in these formats for the Exam!)
  • Reflective essay
  • Biographical texts

You may find that, as you work through the unit, some formats may be more effective than others depending on your framework, chosen audience, chosen tone or even just your personal preference. For example, writing in a blog post format post would be more effective in engaging the particular audience of teens and young adults. 

Or, you may choose to convey your ideas with a specific tone in mind. For example, if you want to address your framework in an emotive way you might choose to write a first-person narrative short story. Conversely, if you want to address it in a rational and factual way, you might choose to write an article. 

That’s another reason why experimenting and trying new things is so important -  so that you can find out what, in your opinion, suits you and the framework best.

Check out our blog post on the Skeleton Approach for a suggestion of how you could potentially structure your Creative piece.

What Your SAC Will Look Like

This AoS is worth 60 of the 100 marks allocated for Unit 3, so it is a big deal. However, if you have a look at the study design, those 60 marks are split into three equal parts worth 20 marks each, which means your SAC will consist of three things:

‍ 1) ‘A written text constructed in consideration of audience, purpose and context.’ And, of course, your text will also need to be constructed in relation to your chosen framework.

2) ‘A written text constructed in consideration of audience, purpose and context.’ Yep, that’s right. For this SAC you have to create two distinct writing pieces. The assessment task as it is outlined in the study design does not mention whether they need to have completely different formats or audience/purpose/context from one another, so the specifics might be up to your school to decide.

3)   ‘A commentary reflecting on writing processes.’ This is the same as a Written Explanation , which you likely have come across before. This is where you write a couple of paragraphs outlining and justifying your choices for each written text you produced, especially in relation to your framework and your audience, purpose and context. Having a successful commentary means you clearly describe the authorial intent in your work, so make sure to be specific and self-analytical in your writing!

What the Exam Will Look Like

The 2024 English exam will be the first exam that follows the new 2024-2027 study design, and the biggest change between now and the previous years is that Section B, which used to ask students to write a Comparative Response to a set of texts they would have studied at school during the year, is now all about Creating Texts . So much so that now Section B is called – you guessed it – ‘Creating texts’.

VCAA has been kind enough to release a sample of this new requirement, which outlines very faithfully what this section will look like in the actual exam. The exam paper consists of a page of general instructions which apply to all students, and then four pages with three pieces of stimulus material each, which relate to each of the four frameworks.

The stimuli consist of one statement, an image, and a section of a poem/story, and the exam paper says you must use ‘at least one’ of them in your writing. (Here’s a quick tip: if the examiners are asking for at least one, use two or more.)

There is also a compulsory title given for each framework, which must be the title of your text.

The instructions in the VCAA sample exam also outline that in Section B ‘you must create one written text ( not including song, poetry or verse)’ , and that ’you must include meaningful connections with ideas drawn from one of the Frameworks of Ideas’ as well as the provided title and the stimulus material. You should choose the framework you have studied in depth at school to write about, and you are also able to refer to your mentor texts, although that is not compulsory in the exam.

Another point is that ‘you must develop your text with a clear purpose, incorporating at least one of the following: to explain, to express, to reflect, to argue.’

You may remember these purposes from the Unit 1 Crafting Texts Area of Study in Year 11. They are pretty much self-explanatory, and chances are that any writing you do will already serve one of these purposes without it being your conscious decision. Also, similar to the stimulus material, try to incorporate two purposes within your piece instead of just one, if possible.

And, as previously was the case as well, Section B is worth one-third of your full exam marks.

You can find the 2024 English sample exam and other very helpful resources such as past exams and exam reports by clicking HERE . 

Three Tips to Help You Ace Creating Texts

So, now that we know what Creating Texts is all about, here are three helpful tips to keep in mind as you make your way through this Area of Study:

1) Play to Your Strengths

As you experiment and become familiar with a range of writing styles and formats, you may find that you’ve become really good at writing argumentative essays, or you became more interested in writing short stories, or maybe you remember that in Year 11 you got a high mark for writing a strong reflective essay. Make sure to self-assess and keep in mind what your strengths are in writing, even if they might not be apparent at first glance.

Also remember that, in the exam, you have a very limited amount of time to come up with a unique piece of writing from scratch, so having a text format in mind that you feel really confident and comfortable writing with can provide at least a little bit of guidance and reassurance when you’re writing something new.

2) Choose Formats That Will Help You Show a Deep Understanding of Your Framework

For instance, if you have the ‘writing about play’ framework and you are deeply inspired by an example of how play can help people heal from trauma from one of your mentor texts which happens to be a memoir, you might deem it best to write a short story or a personal fictionalised diary entry which shows you have taken inspiration from that memoir’s central idea, but you are also engaging with the framework’s implications in society.

Of course, this should be judged on a case-by-case basis, but it can be a helpful guide if you feel stuck and unsure of where to start your writing process.

3) Be Flexible

This is especially important for the exam. You don’t want to walk in with a memorised text! Examiners can definitely tell when a student has just route-learned their way into essay writing, and this will undoubtedly be extra noticeable for creative texts, especially when the exam gives you no choice but to integrate their given stimulus material.

This is why becoming used to as many writing formats as possible, alongside consistent planning and brainstorming, are incredibly important skills to develop throughout the year, so that when it comes time to the end-of-year exam you are ready to go regardless of what the examiners throw at you!

The best way to succeed in this Unit, like pretty much all other tasks in English, is to consistently practice your writing and experiment with as many writing styles as you possibly can. Be open to new ways of thinking, not only about the framework you are given, but about the concept of writing itself! Although certainly challenging, the Creating Texts AoS can prove itself to be great fun. So, best of luck in creating texts, and happy writing!

  • What is a Written Explanation?
  • Creative Response-Based Written Explanations
  • Oral Presentation-Based Written Explanations

1. What is a Written Explanation?

Written Explanation (also known as Statement of Intention, SOE, and various other names throughout different schools) is a short introductory piece to your essay. The Written Explanation is intended to explore the reasons behind why you made particular writing decisions. This is done via FLAPC:

F orm,  L anguage,  A udience,  P urpose,  C ontext

2. Creative Response-Based Written Explanations

The following is taken from the VCAA study design for Creative Response-Based Written Explanations:

'a written explanation of creative decisions and how these demonstrate understanding of the text.'

Most assessors are quite lenient with how you want to approach the Written Explanation – there is no rigid structure that you need to abide by. As we will discuss below, this allows you to consider which aspects of form, language, audience, purpose and context you wish to include. Each of the points should establish why you have written your piece. They are considered as part of your SAC and thus, are marked accordingly. They are not  examinable during the English exam. 

There are traditionally three forms of writing accepted in assessments: expository, creative or persuasive essay. 

‘I chose to write in an expository style, employing conventions of format and style of a traditional essay. This allows me to express my ideas in a logical order while adopting a sophisticated tone.’

When writing, you choose particular words and phrases to illustrate your ideas. Think about what type of language have you used and why. Perhaps your piece is formal or informal, sophisticated or simple, or from a first or third person perspective. All these factors are important in shaping your Context piece. Also consider language techniques you may have incorporated such as repetition, rhetorical questions, metaphors, symbolism and more.

‘I have chosen to write from a first person perspective to shed light on the inner workings of Gardiner from  The Lieutenant .'

You must select a targeted audience for your essay. Your choice can be adults to young children, or even to your future self. Make sure your target audience is suitable for your essay – select a group that would realistically be interested in your work.

‘My piece is to be published in an anthology for those who have had difficulty assimilating into a new group or culture. As they have familiarity with the concepts I discuss, I intend for readers to depart with a greater understanding and appreciation of the ideas in my written piece.’

The purpose section is where you discuss the message you would like to send to your audience. Here you discuss your contention or arguments; whether you completely agree, disagree or a bit of both in regards to your prompt.

‘The purpose of this essay is to demonstrate that there can be different outcomes from encountering conflict: firstly, that conflicts can change many people through growth in understanding or a sense of self-development and secondly, that there are times when people remain unaffected by conflict and thus, unchanged.’

Since your essay is based on your studied text, you should provide a brief discussion of the basic ideas behind the Context . You can do this prior to your  Purpose  section since it is a good lead-in.

‘In this essay, I explored the idea that ‘Conflict inevitably changes people’; a concept heavily explored in  The Lieutenant . Every person encounters conflict. It drives individuals to challenge themselves, and deal with new experiences.'

Different schools will set different word limits for Written Explanations. These can range from 300 – 350 words based on the VCAA study design. With such a small word limit, be succinct and choose wisely what you will discuss in order to score the maximum marks allocated to Written Explanations.

3. Oral Presentation-Based Written Explanations

The VCAA study design requests students write:

'a written statement of intention to accompany the student’s own oral presentation, articulating the intention of decisions made in the planning process, and how these demonstrate understanding of argument and persuasive language.'

Using the topic,  'Why we need to stop crying "cultural appropriation" when  cultural exchange  is far more important ', let's see how this can be done with FLAPC with some examples below (if you need help selecting a topic, check out our 2020 Oral Presentation topics to get those brain juices flowing ):

‘I chose to adopt the conventions of a persuasive speech, where I use a structure of presenting my main ideas by rebutting arguments made by the opposition. Throughout my speech, I embed persuasive tactics in an effort to firstly, encourage engagement from the audience and secondly, sway them to readily accept my point of view.

‘Since I am an Asian-Australian, I have purposefully forgone the opportunity to adopt a persona and instead, have chosen to write from a first person perspective as I can uniquely shed light on my own experiences towards cultural exchange and how that has directly impacted me. My speech heavily focuses on delivering tangible examples, such as anecdotes and social media usage, as I aim to heighten the topic’s relevancy and relatability for my audience. Moreover, as my focus is to reinforce positive attitudes towards cultural exchange, I have adopted a light-hearted approach with humour through the first portion of my speech, then moving into an urgent tone towards the end to highlight the importance of this issue.'

'I have opted to target young Australian adults since we are the generation of the future, and have a major role to play in positively shaping the Australian society’s views and attitudes towards cultural exchange.

'I aim to convince my audience that it is too easy to cry 'cultural appropriation' by being overly sensitive, and instead, we need to consider the benefits of cultural exchange. Cultural exchange itself, has shaped the world as we know it today – it has an important role in globalisation, understanding foreign cultures and the development of Australian society.'

'Australia is known to be one of the most multicultural countries in the world. However, recent media has drawn attention to cries of 'cultural appropriation' towards Indigenous Australians and other cultures, claiming that we fail to appreciate and respect cultural values when we take others' culture for our own (whether it be fashion, music, food or otherwise).'

‍ Sample FLAPC compiled and rearranged for flow and fluency:

Australia is known to be one of the most multicultural countries in the world. However, recent media has drawn attention to cries of 'cultural appropriation' towards Indigenous Australians and other cultures, claiming that we fail to appreciate and respect cultural values when we take others' culture for our own (whether it be fashion, music, food or otherwise). I aim to convince my audience that it is too easy to cry 'cultural appropriation' by being overly sensitive, and instead, we need to consider the benefits of cultural exchange. Cultural exchange itself, has shaped the world as we know it today – it has an important role in globalisation, understanding foreign cultures and the development of Australian society. I chose to adopt the conventions of a persuasive speech, where I use a structure of presenting my main ideas by rebutting arguments made by the opposition. Throughout my speech, I embed persuasive tactics in an effort to firstly, encourage engagement from the audience and secondly, sway them to readily accept my point of view. Since I am an Asian-Australian, I have purposefully forgone the opportunity to adopt a persona and instead, have chosen to write from a first person perspective as I can uniquely shed light on my own experiences towards cultural exchange and how that has directly impacted me. This also has an additional persuasive effect as I invite my audience to relate to my opinions through their own similar experiences as young Australian adults. I have opted to target this audience since we are the generation of the future, and have a major role to play in positively shaping the Australian society’s views and attitudes towards cultural exchange. My speech heavily focuses on delivering tangible examples, such as anecdotes and social media usage, as I aim to heighten the topic’s relevance and relatability for my audience. Moreover, as my focus is to reinforce positive attitudes towards cultural exchange, I have adopted a light-hearted approach with humour through the first portion of my speech, then moving into an urgent tone towards the end to highlight the importance of this issue.

Download a PDF version of this blog for printing or offline use

Need more help with your Creative Response? Check out How To Achieve A+ in Creative Writing (Reading and Creating)!

See how Lisa achieved full marks in her SAC in her Advice for A+ Oral Presentations guide.

Authorial intent is without a doubt one of the most important parts of any analytical essay in VCE English because talking about it is what offers the deepest level of analysis and shows the examiners that you have thought deeply about the text at hand. If you can discuss authorial intent effectively, you’ll be able to show that you have a solid understanding of what you are talking about and that you’re not working exclusively with surface-level ideas.

What Is Authorial Intent?

When we talk about authorial intent, what is really being referenced is the author’s reason for writing their piece in the way that they have and what messages they are trying to convey. Essentially, it’s what your teacher wants you to think about when they ask you things like “why is the door red?”. More generally speaking, why has the author made a point of telling us as readers the weather at that time? Why has that character been given that particular line of dialogue? Why have they brought in that specific tone for this part of the text? These are all the kinds of questions that you should be asking yourself when you’re reading through material that you have to analyse.

You might also hear authorial intent talked about as the writer’s ‘views and values’ . If you’re unsure what views and values actually mean, you can kind of think of it as though the ‘views’ are how the author sees something and the ‘values’ are how the author thinks about something. Essentially, their opinions and perspectives are their views, whereas their morals and principles are their values. These two elements will often be central to the overall intention behind writing their text.  

Why Is Authorial Intent Important?

Authorial intent plays a major role in your interpretation of the text; if you can’t figure out what the intent is, you will often miss out on key points and messages throughout the text. If you are lucky, the author will make it really clear to you as a reader what their intent is; however, this often is not the case. That being said, whether their intent is stated or implied doesn’t matter - there will always be something there for you to talk about.

How To ‘Find’ Authorial Intent in the Text: Key Identifiers To Look Out For

If you come across a text that makes it a little bit more difficult to discern what the author is actually trying to say, a good place to start is to look at the context behind the piece of writing. 

The time period the novel/movie/play is set in is often a good indicator of what the author is saying. The author will often be using their text as a means by which they can comment on or critique one or more elements of that society, or perhaps as a metaphor for events that are occurring at the time the text is/was written. Alternatively, they may be portraying their view about the events that actually occurred during that time. For example, if you have a text that is set in the Georgian era, it is likely that the author’s message has something to do with colonialism or imperialist mindsets (zeitgeists) because this was a very dominant theme in that society. 

Some other reasons you might consider an author having could include: 

  • to highlight the importance of something
  • to criticise a behaviour or mindset
  • to ridicule certain actions
  • to warn against something
  • to discourage people from doing something
  • to convey certain political messages or controversial opinions

Realistically there is a broad range of things that the author could be saying, it's your job to pinpoint what that really is. 

Once you’ve determined what it is the author is generally talking about, you then need to start thinking about the way that this has been represented. This is where you start to bring in the characters, the events, the dialogue, the inner monologues. Basically, you start looking for the elements that the author has added, not necessarily for a story-telling purpose but, more so, to convey their views and values through the text. This isn’t always going to jump right out at you so there may be a bit of deeper thinking involved. 

Another good place to start is to try to identify the central themes of a text. This might be something like ‘Judgement’, ‘Redemption’, ‘Guilt’, etc. The author wouldn't have made these themes so relevant if they didn't have anything to say about them. Once again, this is where you look at the quotes, the setting, the characters and other features (as mentioned before) just with a more theme-focused approach. 

Useful Vocabulary & Sentence Examples 

When you come to actually putting together a paragraph, it is really important that you don’t forget to include authorial intent at some stage (at least once per paragraph). If you work with a TEEL structure (watch from 05:10) as the baseline, these kinds of comments about the author’s intent would usually be located within the ‘explanation’ section. A good way to double-check that you’ve incorporated authorial intent is to go back through your paragraph and make sure that the author’s name is in there somewhere. If you’ve talked about authorial intent you likely will have said something like:

‍ ‘In doing so, (Author) condones the (whatever it is they condone).’

Sentence Templates

Below are some sample sentence structures that you might think about using throughout your essays. Obviously, the particular vocabulary will vary depending on what your text is and which message you are talking about, but these are good as a guide.

  • Through (example from text) AUTHOR (offers, provides, asserts) a (condemnation, evaluation…) of (idea, theme, concept, action…)
E.g. Through emphasising the internal struggle faced by Rooke during the floggings, Grenville offers a condemnation of the Empire’s heinous approach to loyalty, as the threat of ‘wirling at the end of the rope’ essentially forces individuals to value duty over conscience. (The Lieutenant)
  • In doing so, AUTHOR (establishes, condemns, reveals…)
E.g. In doing so, Miller reveals the self-destructive nature of religious extremism in breeding instability and conflict. (The Crucible)
  • (scene, event…) allows AUTHOR to (suggest, convey, assert,…) that 
E.g. Her sorrowful pleas that ‘she beg me to make charm’, fraught with grammatical errors, allow Miller to saliently illustrate the gulf that exists between the vulnerable outcasts such as Tituba and more privileged individuals within a community, in this case, Reverend Parris. (The Crucible)
  • AUTHOR’s depiction of (character) as (courageous, morally conscious, selfish…) emphasises their belief that…
E.g. Ham’s depiction of Teddy as a morally conscious and genuine individual emphasises her belief that it is possible to transcend the social codes enforced by one’s community. (The Dressmaker)
  • AUTHOR’s suggestion that… (serves as a reminder, highlights, emphasises the importance of…)
E.g. Euripides’ blatant suggestion that the fate of most of these women is in servitude and sexual slavery is a damning reminder that the victims of war are not just those killed during the conflict. (Women of Troy)
  • (Hence, thus, as a result…) AUTHOR asserts that… 
E.g. Thus, Euripides asserts that victory in war ultimately proves futile as loss will inevitably be suffered somewhat equally by both sides. (Women of Troy)
  • Evident through AUTHOR’s (characters’ actions/dialogue/section of text…) is the idea that…
E.g. Evident through Miller’s depiction of the struggles faced by Goody Osburn and Goody Good is the idea that where geographical isolation and strict moral codes render a community intolerant, the marginalisation and ostracisation of those who do not fit the societal mould is inevitable. (The Crucible)
  • Through (action, quote, scene…) AUTHOR seeks to…
E.g. Through highlighting the harm which can result from individuals utilising their power to manipulate situations, Ham seeks to expose the damages caused by ignoring the truth, particularly when done so for personal benefit. (The Dressmaker)

If you’ve gotten to this point then hopefully that means that you are starting to get a better understanding of what authorial intent actually is, the thought processes that go into finding it and why it is such a useful and important element to analyse. Most importantly, I hope that you can at least start recognising the way that the author’s voice comes through in the particular texts that you are studying, and that you can start looking at including some of those observations and ideas when you're writing your responses.

Authorial Intent is an aspect that's going to be relevant to Text Response & Comparative for the most part, but it's also handy to understand for Language Analysis !

Let’s briefly discuss the background of the article before we dive into the analysis…

  • So, the background information tells us that “Biodiversity is the term used to describe life on Earth — the variety of living things, the places they inhibit and the interactions between them.”
  • The article at hand is a transcript of a speech given by Professor Chris Lee at the International Biodiversity Conference 2010.
  • The purpose of this conference is to review the progress made towards achieving the target and to look beyond 2010.

creative writing commentary example

Now, let’s analyse the opening of the speech. Take a second to read through Lee’s speech opener...

creative writing commentary example

Firstly, we can analyse the way in which Lee addresses his audience. Rather than using a phrase like "Hi everyone" or a similar greeting, he actually refers to his audience as his "fellow delegates" which allows him to speak in a particularly candid and honest manner. He wants to be transparent about the reality of the situation with his peers, rather than trying to impress an audience or something similar.

creative writing commentary example

Overall, this anecdote appeals to the emotions of the audience and plays on an apparent devotion/commitment presumably made to the environment by the delegates of a Biodiversity conference. Lee uniquely seeks to persuade his audience by using the information he knows about them – their past commitments.
More specifically, we can dive into the pejorative mood of the adjectives he uses to describe the second scene, which is one of destruction, especially compare to the images he presents first. The "lush jungle" with a variety of "interesting flora and fauna" on the banks of a "clear river" appears particularly idyllic in juxtaposition with the images of the "scorched earth", "gooey mudslide", "sepia tinge" and "barren sticks hopelessly groping for life."
In the last sentence, the repetition of the word "gone" reminds Lee's "fellow delegates" of what will be lost if action on biodiversity is not taken.

Now, we know that in any given Language Analysis article, there are so many things to analyse, which I’ve demonstrated with all of the things we managed to focus on in that single paragraph.

Often, students will be able to identify lots of techniques and as such, lots of elements to analyse, but they struggle to choose between these techniques when it comes to writing their responses.

I’d highly recommend that you download a free sample of my eBook, How To Write A Killer Language Analysis which talks about techniques you can use to pick what to write about in your essays. We won’t have enough time to talk about those techniques today, so we’ve written them down for you in the eBook.

Now that we’ve looked at how Lee has started his speech, let’s skip forward to a later section of the article. Take a second to read through the section.

creative writing commentary example

One of the first things that may jump out at you is this repetition of inclusive language; "we are", "we have". However, this is way too obvious! For an upper level response, we want to steer clear of the cliche techniques and analyse ones that have more value and show off our own perspective of the article.
Utilising the statements, "everyone in the lecture theatre knows this" and "clearly, it is our lack of unity", Lee includes the audience and holds all of the delegates accountable through declaring the reasons for failure as simple matters of fact.
Here, Lee trivializes the actions of the organisation in creating "glossy brochures" with "wonderful words" as marketing tools to create the impression that meaningful action is being taken. Lee exposes such actions as deceitful and calls for "real action", seeking to persuade his audience into putting their effort into actual gains in the biodiversity fight.

Want to know more? I'd highly recommend checking out LSG's FREE Ultimate Guide to VCE Language Analysis for more great tips, resources and advice.

And that’s it! I hope this has been helpful in showing how to analyse a speech as a Language Analysis prompt.

Be sure to check out the free sample of my eBook below for more!

The oral presentation SAC is worth 40% of your unit 4 English mark and is comprised of two sections: your statement of intention, and your oral presentation. It can be difficult to understand what is expected of you, as this SAC definitely varies from your typical English essay! So, if you need help understanding what’s expected of you, check out Our Ultimate Guide to Oral Presentations . If you’d like an even more in-depth guide on how to approach this assessment, definitely check out the How to Write a Killer Oral Presentation study guide!

Here, I’m going to dissect five of the most common mistakes students make during their oral presentation, and gloss over ways in which you can improve your marks for this critical SAC.

1. Writing an Unentertaining Speech

Whilst your other English SACs may require you to write in a formal and sophisticated manner, the oral presentation SAC is the one shining exception! Many students fall into the trap of writing a frankly boring and uninspiring speech that does no justice to their academic ability. Here are some mistakes to watch out for:

Choosing the Wrong Topic

Your school may or may not already give you a list of topics to choose from. However, in the event that you must research your own topic, it is essential that you choose an issue relevant to your current audience. You must adopt a clear contention in your speech. 

Do not, for example, write a five-minute speech on why one sports team is better than the other, or why murder should be illegal. Choose an issue that you can take a passionate stance on and engage the audience with. Avoid a contention that is obvious and aim to actually persuade your class. Make sure you choose a 'WOW' topic for your VCE Oral Presentation .

‍ Writing With the Wrong Sense of Tone

This is one of the biggest mistakes students make when writing their oral presentation. I cannot stress this enough – your speech is not a formally written text response! You are presenting your stance on an issue, which means that you are allowed to be passionate and creative. You can educate your audience on the facts without boring them to sleep. Let’s analyse two sample excerpts on the same issue to see why:

Issue: Should the Newstart allowance be increased?

Sample 1: 722,000 Australians are on Newstart. Single people receive approximately $40 a day. The Australian Bureau of Statistics recently increased this payment by $2.20 to adjust to price inflation. However, I am arguing that this price should be increased more.
Sample 2: As Australians, we pride ourselves on community values, and supporting one another. Yet, the way in which we treat 722,000 of our most vulnerable people doesn’t reflect this. The Australian government recently increased the Newstart payment by $2.20 weekly. But this means that Newstart recipients still live on just over $40 a day. Ask yourself, is that really enough to survive?

Samples 1 and 2 have the same information. Yet, Sample 2 engages with the audience in a much more effective manner. Try to avoid an overly formal tone and speak with passion and interest.

2. Presenting Without Confidence

Presenting in front of your class can be a very daunting experience. However, in order to distinguish yourself from your classmates, you must speak clearly and with confidence. Try to avoid making the following mistakes:

Reading Instead of Talking

Think back to primary school. Remember when your teacher would read you a storybook, and they would put on voices to make the story more engaging and interesting? The same sort of idea applies to your oral presentation. Simply reading a well-written speech will not get you marks. Rather, you should talk to your audience. Make eye contact, maintain good posture, and project your voice. Confidence is key!

Stalling for Time

I’m sure we’ve all been in a situation where we haven’t prepared ourselves for a test as well as we should have. The oral presentation SAC is not an assessment that you can simply wing on the day. Oftentimes, poor scores stem from a lack of preparation which can be reflected in the way students present themselves – and stalling for time is a big giveaway. Save yourself the mental stress and prepare for your SAC by writing out your speech beforehand (or even preparing a few dot points/cue cards). I personally find it helpful to practise in front of a mirror or even in front of pets/stuffed toys.

3. Not Distinguishing Yourself From Your Class

If you’re gunning for a good mark, you want to stand out from your class. This can be especially difficult if you are presenting the same topic as one of your peers. Avoid:

Starting in an Uninspiring Way

This is another big mistake students make when presenting. Let’s just estimate that there are approximately 20-25 people in your English class. Now, imagine if every person who presented before you began their speech with:

“Good morning, today I’ll be talking about why Newstart should be increased”.

It gets repetitive. You can distinguish yourself by beginning in a myriad of other ways. Here’s an example of how I started my own oral presentation for my SAC:

Topic: Should we ban sunscreens with oxybenzone and octinoxate?

Imagine you are a foreigner, excited to visit Australia. In your head, you’re picturing our beautiful flora and fauna, our stunning beaches, and the Great Coral Reef. You finally arrive after a long flight, eager to explore the country. You’re expecting the Great Coral Reef to be boasting colour, to look like all the pictures spotted online. Instead, you find what looks like a wasteland – a reef that has essentially been bleached to death. As Australians, we have to wonder what went wrong. If we really loved and cared for our environment, how could we not be protecting the reef, preventing any further damage? Recently, Hawaii banned sunscreens containing the chemicals oxybenzone and octinoxate, reasoning that these chemicals were causing harm to coral. Yet, in Australia, banning sunscreens with these chemicals are seen as drastic and useless measures, which simply isn’t true when you look at the facts. 

This is an example of an “imagined scenario” starter. How to Write a Killer Oral Presentation outlines other ways to start your speech with examples! If you’re having trouble figuring out how to start with a BANG, definitely make use of this resource.

No Enthusiasm

I say this to my students regardless of the English SAC that they’re writing – you want your writing/speech to reflect that you are indeed learning and enjoying your education. Your teacher will be able to tell if you choose a topic that you have no interest in, or if you are simply regurgitating information. Use this SAC to learn about an issue and take interest in your learning. Believe me, your grades will thank you for it.

4. Incorrectly Using Visuals

Whether you are allowed to present with visuals or not is up to your English teacher. However, it is essential that you do not incorrectly use these visuals, as it can cost you marks. Avoid:

Overusing PowerPoint Slides

I’m a bit old-fashioned myself and honestly prefer presenting a speech with no images. That’s not to say that some images can’t be a great addition to your piece. However, PowerPoint can quickly steer you away from presenting your topic in an engaging manner. 

This is an oral presentation with a stance on an issue, not an assessment where you are marked for presenting information to an audience. Therefore, reading off of PowerPoint slides is a big NO. 

Using Cluttered Infographics

The point of focus of your oral presentation should be on YOU – your words, your stance on the issue. This ties into the PowerPoint criticism I made above, but using a cluttered infographic takes away from your well-written speech. Below is an example of an overly cluttered infographic:

creative writing commentary example

If your speech was on renewable energy, your audience would be detracted from your stance, and too focussed on reading the information from the visual. If you have any key information that needs to be explained, it is better to embed this into your speech than rely on an infographic. ‍

5. Disregarding the Statement of Intention

If you’ve finished writing your speech, you may have let out a big sigh of relief. But don’t get too comfortable yet – you still have to write your statement of intention ( SOI ). This piece of writing is supposed to accompany your speech, and it’s worth 25% of your SAC mark. Do not waste all your hard efforts by not taking the SOI seriously. 

I like to think of an SOI as a language analysis of your own speech. Essentially, you should be explaining your choice of language, tone, and rhetoric, and justifying why that would make a profound impact on the audience.  Make sure you understand what an SOI is.

I like thinking of this as a three-step approach:

  • Quote my own speech 
  • Explain why and how my language would impact the audience
  • Link back to my overall contention of the issue

‍ How to Write a Killer Oral Presentation outlines exactly what is expected of you in this section of your SAC. If you’d like to see an annotated A+ statement of intention, be sure to check it out!

I hope that going through these mistakes will help you when writing your own oral presentation! It’s always best to ask your teacher or English tutor for advice if you’re unsure of where to start. Happy writing!

All the Light We Cannot See is usually studied in the Australian curriculum under Area of Study 1 - Text Response. For a detailed guide on Text Response, check out our Ultimate Guide to VCE Text Response .

Breaking Down an All the Light We Cannot See Essay Prompt

We've explored themes and symbols and provided a summary of the text over on our All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr blog post. If you need a quick refresher or you’re new to studying this text, I highly recommend checking it out!

Here, we’ll be breaking down an All the Light We Cannot See essay topic using LSG’s THINK and EXECUTE strategy , a technique to help you write better VCE essays. If you’re unfamiliar with this strategy, you can learn about it in our How To Write A Killer Text Response study guide.

Within the THINK strategy, we have 3 steps, or ABC. These ABC components are:

Step 1: A nalyse

Step 2: B rainstorm

Step 3: C reate a Plan

Without further ado, let’s get into it!

‍ ‘In All the Light We Cannot See there is a fine line between civilised and uncivilised behaviour.’ Discuss.

Step 1: Analyse

Taking a look at this prompt, the first thing to note is that it is theme-based. Specifically asking about the line that separates civilised and uncivilised behaviour within the novel, this prompt focuses directly on the theme of human behaviours and how you ultimately interpret the fine line (i.e. seamless, difficult, changing, manipulative) between such ideas. Fundamentally, you have to discuss how this theoretical line drawn between the contrasting behaviours is explored within the novel in various ways throughout Doerr’s examination of humanity. 

The question tag of Discuss is the most flexible type of prompt/topic you will receive, providing you with a broad and open-ended route to pretty much discuss any ideas that you believe fit within the prompt’s theme of uncivilised and civilised behaviour. Although this may seem hard to know where to start, this is where Step 2: Brainstorm , comes into play. You can read through LSG’s Question Tags You Need To Know section (in How To Write A Killer Text Response ) to further familiarise yourself with various ways to tackle different prompt tags.

If you’re not sure what it is meant by ‘theme-based prompt,’ take a look at The 5 Types of Essay Prompts. 

Step 2: Brainstorm

A fundamental aspect of writing a solid Text Response essay is being able to use a diverse range of synonyms for the keywords outlined in the prompt. Our keywords are in bold. When you are brainstorming, if any words pop into your head, definitely list them so you can use them later. You may want to have a highlighter handy when unpacking prompts so you can do just this!!

‍ ‘In All the Light We Cannot See there is a fine line between civilised and uncivilised behaviour .’ Discuss.

  • How people have grown up determines the civil and uncivilised behaviours shown by individuals of different backgrounds and childhoods - Bastian is symbolised as the eagle that circles the youth camp, which is an uncivilised /unwanted form of hawk-like behaviour . This compares to Fredrick's love of birds as a young boy which makes him a softer character. - Bernd had ‘no friends’ as a child - showing his isolated past - which could be described as the reason he leaves his father and goes off to join the Hilter Youth ‘just like the other boys.’ (find this analysis in the chapter ‘The Death of Walter Bernd’)
  • There is a fine line that Doerr draws between the stereotypes of women and their ability to remain civilised despite being suppressed by uncivil livelihoods and experiences. - Jutta is characterised as a strong and independent woman instead of the traditional ‘pretty girl in a propaganda poster’. Society expects most women to stand on that side of human behaviour and representation however she defies this.
  • The strength of women to cross/overcome the line of uncivilised behaviour is significant within the sexual abuse and misconduct driven by soldiers. Can remain true to oneself despite the horrific behaviours a woman faces. - The role of women on the homefront (i.e. Fredrick’s Mother) highlights the stark contrast between men fighting and thinking about the ‘men they killed’ and mothers who put on a ‘fake smile to appear brave’ (the line between barbaric behaviours of many soldiers and caring/loving behaviours of those on the homefront) - women and their sacrifices is an important topic here
  • It is one’s ability to adapt to change that draws the line between civil and uncivilised behaviours . - Marie Laure’s ability to look past being a ‘blind girl’, and move on from this hardship. She adapts to the ‘changing times’ around her despite others who are suppressed in such an environment (e.g. Etienne and his ‘dread’).
  • The game of flying couch is a symbol of escaping the uncivilised world around them (metaphorical line of the human imagination). - Werner is predominantly overwhelmed by the world around him, which reflects his inability to no longer ask questions as he did as a young boy. Instead, he succumbs to the uncivilised world of death and destruction as he is unable to change. 
  • Symbolic use of Werner’s ‘soft covered notebook’ in epilogue - symbolises his loss of perspective and wonder of the world,
  • Ultimately it is this line that makes the human existence so unique

Step 3: Create a Plan

After having brainstormed all the ideas that came to mind, I’ll be approaching the essay prompt with the following contention. 

In a world where society is grounded by behaviours both civil and uncivil, there is a clear distinction between humanity's response and representation of these behaviours.

Coming up with a clear contention allows you to put together a cohesive and strong essay that answers all aspects of the prompt question. 

Now, onto developing our topic sentences for each paragraph!

P1: Embedded within Doerr’s nonlinear narrative*, the environment in which individuals have grown up consequently influences their behaviours later in life.

*A nonlinear narrative is a storytelling technique Doerr uses to portray events out of chronological order. 

P2: Encompassing the social paradigms that pervade a woman’s existence, the strength and civilisation of females allow them to traverse a line of unjust behaviours that suppress them.

P3: In essence, it is the human response to change that divides individuals from ultimately displaying civil or uncivil acts in the world.

The art of recognising the ephemera of the human existence is painted by Anthony Doerr’s All the Light We Cannot See as a fine line between behaviours of civilisation and extreme brutality (1) . In the inordinate scheme of history, Doerr fosters the dichotomy between those who remain socially aware and others who are marred by desolation as a reflection on one's past. Further subverting the traditional depiction of women in a ‘war story’, the strength of women is established as a key turning point for individuals to escape barbaric behaviours and cross the line to civilisation. Fundamentally, however, it is the overall response to change that crafts human behaviours that Doerr underpins within society (2) .

Annotations ‍ ‍ (1) it is important to include synonym variation in your opening sentence to ensure that it does not look like you have just copied the prompt and placed it on your page. This idea should be carried out throughout your essay - vary your words and try not to repeat anything, this will ensure you are clear and concise!

(2) In order to improve the flow of your writing, the final topic sentence of your introduction can be a concluding statement on why/how the topic is OVERALL expressed within the novel. When you formulate your contention, it is not enough just to state it, you must also provide reasoning as to why you are writing from this point of view or how you came to this conclusion. For example, my final topic sentence here is a concluding sentence about how I believe a fine line between uncivilised and civil behaviour has an influence throughout the entire novel and Doerr’s intention, one’s response to change. As you read on, you’ll also see that this sentence relates to my final paragraph, thus linking together ideas throughout my essay.

Embedded within Doerr’s nonlinear narrative, the environment in which individuals have grown up consequently influences their behaviours later in life. The initial illustration of the ‘smokestacks hume’ and the ‘black and dangerous’ imagery (3) of the war paints a clear picture of the destruction and trauma that individuals have lived amongst, thus why people were ‘desperate to leave’. Empathising with an ‘old woman who cuddles her toddler’ on the streets, Doerr laments how young individuals who end up ‘surg[ing] towards one cause,’ which this toddler may similarly grow up to do in the Hitler Youth, directly reflects the ‘intense malice’ of their childhood. This idea that one’s past affects the future behaviours of a generation is further captured within the chapter ‘The Death of Walter Bernd’ (4) , which outlines how Bernd’s upbringing with ‘no friends’ promotes him to ‘just leave’, in order to experience something new, despite knowing this something new would bring unjust decisions into his life. Becoming ‘just like the other boys’, Doerr suggests that the line between civil and uncivil behaviours is so thin (5) that a mere need to escape one’s past is enough to create feelings of negativity and at worst death. Encapsulating the darkness that prevails over such individuals, the symbolism of Bastian’s ‘sharp eyes’ (6) poetically describes the eagle that circles the youth camp where Doerr seeks to paint a metaphorical cruel depiction of Bastian as a harmful hawk. Underpinning the fine line between human behaviour, Fredrick’s ‘love of birds’ is ‘so beautiful[ly]’ representative of his respectful nature and approach to life while Bastian’s immersion in ‘the self interest of the world’ ultimately explains how his fallacious behaviour towards others is embodied by his environment within the war. Overall, the behaviours displayed by humanity are a reflection of past experiences and how they shape the individual.

Annotations (3) Imagery is a key aspect of All the Light We Cannot See and goes hand in hand with the vast symbolism Doerr uses within his novel. When including imagery, it is great to include a few related quotes; however, you must then ensure you analyse and delve into how this technique (imagery) demonstrates the idea you are writing about. In this case, the imagery of the chimneys and foggy/dirty air illustrates the desolate environment individuals lived in during the war.

(4) This chapter is something not many students analyse or touch on so if you’re looking to add some spice to your writing I would definitely take a look and see what you can extract from some of those more unique and nuanced chapters!

(5) Referencing the ‘fine line’ continually throughout your essay ensures that you are staying on track and not talking about topics away from the prompt. 

(6) Symbolism is very important in All the Light We Cannot See . The use of the quote ‘sharp eyes’, really shows that you have considered not only how Doerr simply explores the behaviour of each character but also the physical interpretations of how individuals may demonstrate a certain persona within the novel. This focus on character description on top of dialogue adds extra layers to your writing. 

Encompassing the social paradigms that pervade a woman’s existence, the strength and civilisation of females allow them to traverse a line of unjust behaviours that suppress them. Instead of characterising Jutta as a ‘pretty girl in a propaganda poster’, whom the soldier will ‘fight and die for’, Doerr proffers the unconventional humanisation of women on the home front to pay tribute to the power of staying true to oneself (7) . Despite facing the barbaric reality of ‘sex crazed torturers’, Doerr illuminates Jutta’s capacity to ‘look them in the eye’ rather than shy away from them as a meditation on her own morals of (8) ‘what is right’. The tragic nature (9) of such abuse is specifically chronicled by Doerr to concatenate (10) the continual brave behaviours Jutta portrays even when succumbing to the line that attempts to draw women away from strength and independence. Further referencing her desire to ‘lock away memories’ of the past in her life after the war, the novel posits the importance of women during a period of inordinate history as a powerful force that remained civil even in times of ‘absolute blackness’. From the perspective of Fredrick’s mother, Doerr seeks to display how her ‘fake smile to appear brave’ outlines how many mothers and women had to remain strong for their children, such as Fredrick with brain damage, even though they were so close to falling into a world of sorrow and isolation. A clear segregation between soldiers who thought about ‘the men they killed’ and women who were made to ‘feel complicit in an unspeakable crime’ (11) they did not commit overall affirms the sacrifices women made during the war and without such sacrifices and strength the thin line between behavioural acts would be broken.

Annotations (7) Here I have included an analysis of Doerr’s message - what he is trying to say or show within his novel. Ultimately an author has a message they seek to share with the world. Providing your own interpretation of certain messages the author may be attempting to send to his readers adds real depth to your writing, showing that you are not only considering the novel itself but the purpose of the author and how this novel came to explore the fundamental ideas of the essay prompt.

(8) This quote directly relates to the keyword: civilised behaviour. Finding quotes that are also specific to your prompt is crucial to producing an essay that flows and has meaning. 

(9) The use of adjectives within the essay paints the picture of whether an act is civil or uncivil which is ultimately what we are attempting to discuss from the prompt. Here the phrase ‘tragic nature’, underpins the essence of unjust behaviours shown by the soldiers.

(10) Concatenate - link/connect ideas together

(11) Comparing aspects within the novel is a great way to show your understanding and how the same theme or idea can be shown in many different ways. 

In essence, it is the human response to change that divides individuals from ultimately displaying civil or uncivil acts in the world. Established by Marie Laure’s characterisation as a ‘blind girl’ who can ‘project anything onto the black screen of her imagination’, Doerr illuminates her ability to adapt to the ‘changing times’ around her. She is seen to be ‘carried away by reveries’ rather than a plethora of voices who ‘forgo all comforts’ and ‘eat and breathe nation’. Through the chapter and make-believe game ‘flying couch’ (12) , Marie’s nature to ‘surrender firearms’ with Etienne in their imagination is a symbolic adoption to escape the world around them, hence the uncivilised society they are learning to live in. Doerr’s congruent imagery of Etienne’s changing voice of ‘dread’ to ‘velvety’ as he becomes intertwined within ‘Marie’s bravery’ underpins the ability for individuals to seamlessly cross the line from a lack of cultured behaviour to a world of hope and prosperity. Contrasting this, however, Werner, an individual who was initially curious about ‘how the world works’, is so ‘overwhelmed by how quickly things are changing around [him]’ that his ‘interest in peace’ is stripped away and no longer exists due to his inability to change with a changing world. Doerr, therefore, laments the transmogrification of his character as a reflection of his uncivil thoughts and ideals as a soldier, ultimately resulting in his loss of ability to ask questions. This idea places emphasis on Volkheimer receiving Werner’s ‘soft covered notebook’ in the epilogue (13) where the translation of the book’s title ‘Fragen’ - to ‘ask’ in English - is symbolic of the moment Werner decided to ‘work, join, confess, die’ he immediately lost the open mind and curiosity he once had. Ultimately, the dichotomy between these two lives and their opposing character transformations resembles the line between remaining calm or acting out of haste when subject to change.

Annotations (12) Analysing not only the game but the whole meaning behind chapters and why Doerr has given them certain names is an interesting avenue to take. Here ‘flying couch’ not only underpins the imagination of Marie Laure but also symbolises freedom and bravery within just the name itself.

(13) The analysis and evidence used from the epilogue is a crucial part of this paragraph and is significant to Doerr’s novel. Unpacking All the Light We Cannot See , there is a lot of evidence and juicy ideas you can draw from the beginning and end of the novel. Here I have almost analysed the meaning of Werner’s ‘soft covered notebook’ to the bone; however, this adds a lot of depth to your writing as I’m sure your ultimate goal is to make your essays as unique as possible?!

As a project of humanism, Doerr seeks to portray a fine segregation in people's behaviours as the microcosm (14) of what makes the human existence so unique. Following the journeys of individuals who even ‘see a century turn’’ the novel displays how one’s past has an immense influence on how their future values, actions and behaviours grow and develop. Further subverting the stereotypical representation of women living in a war, Doerr establishes an acknowledgment of their roles and strength in the face of cruel situations. Ostensibly, it is the human capacity to adapt to change that marks the difference between what is just and unjust in a society that weighs both on a very unstable scale. 

Annotations ‍ ‍ (14)   Microcosm - a community, place or situation regarded as encapsulating in miniature the characteristics of something much larger.

If you find this essay breakdown helpful, then you might want to check out our All the Light We Cannot See Prompts blog post. You can have a go at those essay prompts and feel free to refer back to this essay breakdown whenever you need. Good luck!

Introduction

Poetry. Students tend to have strong feelings about it, some love the melodic rhythm and the eloquent way in which it encapsulates life and others hate it, either because they find it a snooze-fest and would rather read the dictionary, or they simply don’t know how to approach analysing it. Whatever boat you may be in, by the end of your study of Peter Skrzynecki’s New/Old World poems, you’re bound to have a new appreciation for the art that is poetry and find analysing poems less of a daunting prospect and more a something easy to nail.

Before we begin diving into Skrzynecki, I’d highly recommend that you check our LSG’s Ultimate Guide to VCE Text Response . It’s jam-packed with awesome, FREE advice for how to ACE Text Response.

Analysing Poetry in Old/New World

Unlike other forms of text, a collection of poems is not one continuous body of writing, instead a poetry collection is more like a series of vignettes, snapshots into poignant moments, in this case, of an author’s life. Whilst many students may struggle with this form and ask “How many poems do I analyse? Do I need to know all of them?”, poems are easier than most texts to prioritise and categorise into themes and often have a significant amount of metalanguage. And in answer to your questions, whilst its best you analyse the whole collection to some extent, knowing 10 or so strategically chosen poems really well, covering all themes and types should hold you in good stead for any question thrown at you in the exam.

Peter Skrzynecki wrote his poems over a significant amount of time, starting in 1970 and ending in 2006. This has given the collection a unique perspective, not only demonstrating a migrant’s journey through narrative, but also by providing the different attitudes and feelings of belonging, experienced by one individual as they try to assimilate in their new world over a period of time. This gives us, as students, a wonderful opportunity to look deeper into the text and identify Skrzynecki’s differing positions in regard to identity, family and belonging, through the perspective from which he writes his poems at different stages of his life.

To learn more about the importance of context in VCE English, check out this blog post .

The Structure

Skrzynecki’s collection tends to feature three types of poem, by identifying these, analysing each piece can be made easier as similar types of poem often focus on similar themes. The three categories of poetry to look for are:

Nature Poems

Peter Skrzynecki showcases his connection to Australia through poems that depict often idyllic landscapes, or the lives of common fauna of Australia, such as birds and fish.

The Immigrant Experience

These poems such as Immigrants at Central Station, Migrant Hostel and The Polish Immigrant offer an insight into the emotionally turbulent and difficult journey migrants go through to live in Australia. These poems also demonstrate the experiences of relief and joy felt when arriving, as well as emotions of fear, trepidation and disconnect in regards to both their new home and their old world.

Family Poems

Often the most emotionally pulling, these poems tug at the heartstrings and showcase the relationships between Peter Skrzynecki and his family, as well as his exploration of his heritage, his ties to his Polish background.

The new/old world structure, similar to the old and new testament of the bible are used to highlight the old world of Skrzynecki’s Polish roots and childhood, whilst the new world is his new life in Australia.

Recurring Characters in Old/New World

Peter skrzynecki.

The author of this text, as well as a character in his own right, Peter describes his triumphs and struggles of immigrating to Australia in his poems.

Feliks Skrzynecki

The Polish adopted father of Peter, a “gentle man” who immigrated to Australia with him family from Germany often demonstrates the struggle of the older generation to fully ‘belong’, as they have grown up amongst different customs. This difference in the two generations’ assimilation is depicted in the poem Feliks Skrzynecki , as we see Feliks as attached to his Polish customs and traditions, as he “reminisce[s]” with his Polish friends. We also discover that he struggles with the English language, is a hard worker and has had cancer twice in his foot. Peter in comparison is seen to have far more of a disconnect with his Polish ancestry he “inherited unknowingly” and forget his “first Polish word” as he learns of a culture “further South of Hadrian’s Wall”.

Themes in Old/New World

As we all know, themes are an integral part of Text Response overall, and that still rings true for Skrzynecki’s poetry. To learn more about how to implement themes into different types of Text Response prompts, check out our blog on LSG’s Five Types of Text Response Prompts !

One of the most central themes of Skrzynecki’s poems is that of belonging. As the poems detail an immigrant’s emotional journey, alternating between feeling that they belong and don’t belong, we are invited to grapple with what it means to belong both mentally and physically as well as what elements are required to feel a sense of belonging in community and country.

Identity is another central theme, one that runs closely to that of belonging, as a main part of one’s identity is the culture/place/family to which they feel they belong. Old/New World: New and Selected Poems explores the formation and changes in a migrant’s sense of identity as they try to find belonging in their new Australian home as well as later, when they try to reconnect with their European heritage. To explore the theme of identity it’s best to break it down into several influential factors, which are listed below:

The surroundings in which a person finds themselves, as well as the place they call home is an essential part of identity, as it showcases what place one identifies with and feels safe in.  Several of the poems are set in places of transition, such as at a train station, this helps to emphasize the displacement some migrants may feel as they struggle to acclimatise to their new home. In poems such as Immigrants at central station Skyznecki illustrates an environment of anxiety and trepidation, however, he finishes the poem with sentiments of hope of the new future, the new world the immigrants were travelling to, along “glistening tracks of steel”.

An individual’s heritage, that is the places and people from which they come to identify with, is seen to have a profound impact on the characters in Skrzynecki’s poems. There are several poems set in graveyards or in Europe where Peter questions his knowledge of where he came from, and his sense of connection to these people and places. One of the most interesting set of poems regarding heritage is the poems regarding the different sections of a graveyard for the different groups, through this Skrzynecki touches on how most will never fully part with their heritage, instead, even in death, most will reconnect with their upbringing and hold on to their roots.

The difference in a cultures’ customs is a struggle seen throughout the text. However, customs are also seen to be the way in which migrants make themselves at home whilst being able to still identify with their past. Through the generational gap between Peter and his father, we can identify the difficulty older generations may have in letting go of customs, whilst the younger new Australians often find it far easier to attach themselves to new traditions.

An integral part of identity and in cultivating a sense of belonging is the language that we speak, as the way in which we are able to communicate ourselves and who we have accessible conversation has a large impact on one’s sense of belonging or disconnect from a culture . This is due to language barriers’ ability to foster or inhibit connection. We see this as Peter demonstrates his struggle at times to identify with his Polish roots, symbolised in his loss of Polish language as he “forgot [his] first Polish word”. Despite his father repeating it until he never forgets, this forgetfulness illustrates the effort which is often required to remain connected to heritage when physically distant from it. Language’s ability to also expose the differences between people and make them feel like outsiders is also explored in First day of school and The Polish Immigrant as people such as teachers struggle with the pronunciation of Polish names and inevitably have to ask “boy, how do you pronounce that?”. We see through these poems how disconnect can be fostered due to the struggle of communication as the picking apart of their names make the new immigrants feel “tired”, “embarrass[ed]” and as if their name was that of a “European disease”. Language is also seen to hold migrants back as seen in Migrant Bachelor where a lack of a familiar language relegates a migrant to “factory chimneys and punch card clocks” which “ask no proof of speech”.  This struggle with language, both the disconnect and joy that comes with communicating and the opportunities it affords individuals, is essential in determining how one identifies themselves.

Family/Ancestry

How connection to family members and knowledge of ancestry impacts sense of identity is investigated through many family poems and through Skrzynecki’s somewhat frequent admissions of remorse in regard to not knowing the history behind objects or people. We also see how a difference in sense of belonging can affect relationships, in that we see Peter and his father don’t have the closest of relationships, likely due to Peter feeling he belongs to Australia whilst Feliks still had strong connections to his Polish upbringing.  We also see this regret of disconnect when Skrzynecki writes about his mother and the photograph he has of her and the man that was his father, and how he wishes he had asked about it more. Whilst Skrzynecki mainly describes the immigrant experience in his poems, we can also find an overarching warning to not take loved one, and their knowledge for granted, as often we don’t have them for as long as we would hope.

Skrzynecki often reminisces about his childhood and uses it as a way to explore both his experience in his new world of Australia, and his old world of his Polish roots. We see Skrzynecki in Migrant Centre Site, revisiting the location where he first lived after arriving in Australia, noting that there was nothing to “commemorate [their] arrival”, this perhaps demonstrates his desire for a legacy, to leave a footprint of the journey so many “thousand” migrants travelled and not just a “slab of cement” as if his home was a dead “cemetery”. He also reminisces in Old Hostel Site where he explores the “immense souvenirs” and “unclaimed baggage” that is one of the first sites in Australia his parents arrived at. Using this jargon regarding travel, Skrzynecki reminds readers of the many miles migrants often have to travel to reach Australia.

Skrzynecki often uses nature to symbolise the migrant experience, as demonstrated by the birds in his poem Migrant Hostel . In this poem migrants are compared to a “homing pigeon/circling to get its bearings” as Peter remarks on the struggle of taking someone out of their previous home, like an animal out of its natural habitat.

Nature is also a major element in Skrzynecki's effort to become an Australian poet, his frequent referencing of Australian landscapes signposting his journey to identify as an Australian, as well as an Australian poet.

Hope and Loss

Not only does Skrzynecki detail the hope for a new future and loss of home common in a migrant’s experience, his poems also cover other common situations of love and loss, such as his emotional poem Leukemia which details the journey of his father as a leukemia patient. This shows belonging and identity in a far different light, not in relation to a country but being identified by your sickness which “owns your name”. This explores the common experience where a patient feels defined by their condition and struggles to imagine/remember what life is like as a healthy individual.

Metalanguage, Symbols and Motifs in Old/New World

• Feliks Skrzynecki’s garden: due to his strong bond to his Polish roots Feliks arguably never felt a sense of belonging in Australia. Instead we find he creates a sense of belonging by cultivating a home of his own, a garden.

• Skrzynecki often uses the natural world such as fish and birds to mirror the migrant journey.

• Skrzynecki litters his poems with heirlooms such as watches, hammers and photos, often to illustrate how despite having these possessions Peter frequently finds that he doesn’t know the full story of his heritage and his parent’s life. In his rediscovery of the heirlooms we often see his disconnect from his background and his regret of not learning more about it.

• The use of a colloquial idiom of “kept pace only with the Joneses'' in Feliks Skrzynecki , to reference how his belonging only feels surface deep. However, as they are only the Joneses of “his own mind’s making” it also showcases his commitment to not simply copy and to still be individual.

• Skrzynecki often uses places of transit such as train stations or hostels to showcase the uncertainty often experienced in a migrant’s journey.

  • Research the places referenced in Skrzynecki poems such as Mt Warning
  • Learn to spell the authors last name
  • Don’t just analyse the poems individually, try and see the big picture and apply the overarching themes

For a more detailed guide on how to ACE VCE Text Response, I think you’d love the free sample of our top-rated eBook, How To Write A Killer Text Response ! To download, simply fill out the form below!

Metalanguage is language that describes language. In films, we also need to consider cinematography – the technical side in the making of the film. For a detailed discussion, see  What is metalanguage?  

The prospect of writing a Text Response or Comparative essay on a film can be daunting—it’s difficult to know how to identify filmic devices let alone analyse why the director has used them to give meaning to particular scenes. To start us off, below are some filmic devices commonly used by directors that all students should be aware of when studying films.

Filmic devices

Camera shots.

This refers to the amount of space that is seen in one frame, which can be used to emphasise different aspects of the film’s setting or characters.

Example: An extreme close up of a character’s face to portray their emotions.

creative writing commentary example

Camera angles

The way in which the audience is positioned to view the setting or character/s. This can enhance the audience’s understanding of the relationship between characters, or the way in which a character is feeling in a particular situation.

Example: a low camera angle can be used to demonstrate how a character is feeling empowered at a particular point in the film.

creative writing commentary example

Any sound where the source of it can be seen in the scene (or is implied to be present) 

Example: Voices, are diegetic. Any sound that comes from outside the scene itself, for example, soundtrack, is non-diegetic. We can analyse the way in which sound enhances the mood of the film.

In the Made in Dagenham clip above, diegetic sound such as the pouring rain, spoons tapping on cups, radio in the background are all used to offer viewers a 'real' sense that we're in the cafe too.

The way in which the scene is lit can create interesting effects in what it suggest about the characters in the scene.

Example: if the main source of light comes from the side of the screen, lighting up one side of a character’s face, this can create a sense of mystery.

creative writing commentary example

How a character is dressed in any given scene is very important; their clothes can say a lot about their present state of mind or their physical situation.

creative writing commentary example

In-depth analysis using Mabo

Even once we know all this, it can still be difficult to use these devices as evidence to support our ideas in a text response essay. So let’s put our knowledge into practice and take a look at a few scenes from the film Mabo, directed by Rachel Perkins.

Opening scene:  Perkins uses a series of  long shots  of Murray Island in the opening scenes of the film, with  high camera angles . This is done to contextualise the setting, as well as foreshadow the great significance the land will have on the events of the film. The subsequent  low camera angle shots  of the trees on the island present them as being tall and majestic. Paired with the upbeat, vibrant native  music  (non-diegetic sound) that is playing, it is evident that Perkins is celebrating the beauty of the land and emphasising its importance, not just in the film, but in the islanders’ lives.

creative writing commentary example

Benny Mabo and a young Eddie walking the beach: a  mid-shot  is initially used in this scene to show father and son walking in the water. This alludes to the strength of the connection that the Mabos have to the island in depicting them as being immersed in water. The subsequent  close ups  of their faces, conveying their contentment, with the waves of the ocean in the background, indicate that this connection to the land goes beyond the mere fact that they live there; the pair are shown to have a profound spiritual and emotional connection with the island. This is emphasised by the soft, peaceful  music  that plays alongside Benny’s recital of Malo’s law.  

creative writing commentary example

Killoran exiles Eddie off Murray Island: side  lighting  is used in this scene to shadow some of Killoran’s face. This has a sinister effect. It suggests that his intentions toward Eddie are not honest, and further symbolises the corruption and lack of transparency in the Australian government in their dealings with the Indigenous. The cloud of cigarette smoke that surrounds him further highlights he toxicity of his presence on Murray Island, as does the solemn, foreboding  music  that plays throughout his conversation with Eddie. The  close up shots  of Eddie’s face convey the strength of his resolve in refusing to “[work] as a slave” for Killoran in penance for his crime.

creative writing commentary example

Eddie on the railway tracks: this scene is all about Eddie’s internal conflict; his desire to return to his homeland, and the allure of the opportunities that the ‘mainland’ offers him (in particular, Bonita). The  high camera angle  is used to show him dancing across the railway tracks, which is heavy with symbolism, representing the choice between his old and new life. The  close ups  of his face as he sings his native  song  convey his emotional attachment to Murray Island and the depth of his despair at

creative writing commentary example

not being able to return to it. His  costume  is comprised of old, dirty clothing, which is representative of his confused, weary and sorrowful state of mind. Yet the use of  backlighting  as he dances suggests that his decision to embrace his new life on the mainland will empower him. It further foreshadows the significance of this choice in enabling him to pursue the land rights case.

creative writing commentary example

The Indigenous protest: Perkins deliberately uses  archival/stock footage  in this scene to enhance the viewer’s experience of the Indigenous’ protest at the Mayday march. By using real life footage from this actual historical event, Perkins adds authenticity to this scene, in order to effectively convey the importance of Eddie’s decision to participate. The  high angle shots , and  long shots , are used to show the sheer number of people who were fighting for change. The  music  quickens in pace to indicate a change, a turning point in Eddie’s life, in which he can no longer overlook the racism that his people have suffered. The  close ups  of his and his wife’s face during this scene express their passion and determination in supporting this cause, as well as their strong love for each other.

creative writing commentary example

List of film techniques

creative writing commentary example

These are just a few examples of the way in which you can use the techniques discussed to make your ideas more credible in text response essays. Some teachers may say that these filmic devices are a secondary source of evidence, but I believe they are equally as important as quotes in demonstrating a thorough understanding of the text—as long as you analyse why the director has chosen to include them.

Remember: the director only has a certain amount of time to tell the story, so every scene is important, and every technique is deliberate. That being said, don’t use these devices at the expense of quotations! 

This study guide is written by Gabrielle O'Hagen (Mabo examples), and Lisa Tran.

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creative writing commentary example

DIY: How To Write A Commentary

DIY: How To Write A Commentary

YOUR VOICE. YOUR PERSPECTIVE. Commentaries offer an opportunity to bring your unique experience and thoughtful opinion to an issue of your choice. With a commentary, you can speak for yourself and on your own terms, while representing a wider community whose genuine voices, insights, and realities are left out of the national debate.

How can you help people relate to an issue everyone's talking about, in a new way? Or maybe there's an issue no one's paying attention to--and you're convinced we need to. If your take on that issue is personal and grounded in your own experience, the commentary is a way for you to drive the national conversation forward.

Characteristics of a Commentary

  • Pick an issue that inspires passion in you.
  • Write from your own point of view and draw on your personal, lived experience with plenty of detail. 
  • Assert a clear point of view/opinion.
  • Connect your story to broader social themes. 
  • Use concrete examples and stories in your writing. Replace general statements with concrete examples that bring readers inside moments of your life. 
  • Include opposing points of view, arguments and/or research.
  • Write conversationally, like you speak. 
  • Fact-check! Everything in your story has to be true. 
  • Use humor. 
  • Think about the rhythm and pacing of the piece--go back and forth between moments you can describe to bring us into your life and analysis of why these events are important to your issue. 
  • Keep it brief. Commentaries are short. From 200-700 words.

Background: Identifying The Components Of A Commentary

Most commentaries are made up of a few standard parts, defined below:

Tease/Lede: The part of the commentary that “hooks” you, grabbing your interest so that you want to keep on listening. It’s usually the opening to the commentary. Effective ledes use narrative techniques, such as humor, intrigue or controversy, to draw the listener in. If your opening makes people say, “Ooh, tell me more about that,” then you’ve accomplished your goal.

Example : “Growing up as a young, black male in America is not easy. Sometimes it feels like I’m walking on eggshells just to walk a straight line…” Example “I was 16 years old when I found out that I had been diagnosed with high-functioning autism.…”

Tag: This is the part of the commentary where the speaker identifies him or herself. This can occur as part of an intro or at the end of the commentary, depending on the outlet.

Example: “Jill Smith is a senior at Oakland High School and writer with YR Media."

Scene: Good storytellers know that a little description goes a long way. Describe specific moments, interactions, or scenes you've been a part of that apply to the point you want to make. This will help listeners understand who you are and where you’re coming from.

Example: “I often catch myself smiling whenever I’m in conversations with upper-class white folks, so they won’t feel threatened by my presence. There’s been times when I’ve walked down the street and seen car doors lock and purses tucked tighter.” Example: “I was sitting in my tenth grade class and my special ed teacher was going over an interesting article about different types of ‘learning disabilities.’ She stopped and told the class that we were all on the autism spectrum. Immediately, my heart dropped.”

Argument/Evidence: Your argument is the “point” or take-away message of the commentary. It should be firmly based in the writer's experience. The writer will use evidence, like examples or statistics, to persuade the listener or reader that the argument makes sense.

Example: “I worry a lot of being misinterpreted as a thug, even at my classes at the college of Alameda. I never ask questions, so that other students wouldn’t hear how I speak and associate my language with a thug. All that changed when I recently was recruited to join a class that’s specifically for men of color. We learn professional and public speaking skills and how to be leaders and improvise in tough situations. Example: “Music came easy to me. I could replicate any rhythm, even if I had only heard it once. In class I would drum on the desks. When there was no furniture around, I'd tap on my head and stomach and chatter my teeth. In high school I started producing my own music. Unlike some of my peers, I never got tired of working on my beats. I found out later that people with autism tend to have a keen interest. I started thinking autism might not be a disadvantage after all. When it comes to music, it feels like a superpower.”

Conclusion: The conclusion wraps up the commentary, giving listeners a sense of closure. There are many ways to conclude your commentary -- examples include a witty line, a memorable statement or image, or an answer to a question or ending to a story proposed earlier in the commentary. Note: there is a tendency to end commentaries with some version of "How will things turn out?  It remains to be seen..." We get the temptation to go for that conclusion, but we ask you to avoid it. We want you to have a powerful final word. 

Example: “We all come from different backgrounds, but we all share the same desire, to get a college degree. I believe this class will help me become more comfortable and confident, and help me change other peoples’ opinions of all young black males in America.” Example: “Eventually, I started to tell people close to me that I am autistic, and they seemed okay with it. Instead of judging me, they told me that's part of what makes me unique.”

Other Examples of Commentaries (for radio and print)

Student at Harvard Defends Affirmative Action

My First Encounter with Racism

For a Moderate Conservative at Berkeley, a Battle on Two Fronts

Understanding Singular They

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Teaching Resources

Commenting on Student Writing

Resource overview.

Instructors who require their students to write papers dedicate many hours each semester to reading, commenting on, and grading student writing, and they often wonder if the time they have spent translates into improvements in their students’ writing skills. For their part, students want constructive feedback on their writing and often express frustration when they find their instructors’ comments on their papers to be mysterious, confusing, or simply too brief.

Tips to improve and help you respond to your students’ writing:

These tips focus on the process of writing comments on students’ papers (whether on rough drafts or final drafts), rather than on the process of grading papers. Grading and commenting on papers are certainly interconnected processes. However, while instructors often think of writing comments on papers as simply a means to justify grades, that purpose should be secondary to helping your students improve their writing skills.

These tips are organized into four categories:

Course Planning

Writing comments in the margins, writing final comments, what else can you do.

Before the course begins, think about what kind of writing you will assign, and how you will respond to that writing.

  • Design each writing assignment so that it has a clear purpose connected to the learning objectives for the course. Craft each assignment as an opportunity for students to practice and master writing skills that are central to their success in the course and to academic achievement in your discipline. For example, if you want them to learn how to summarize and respond to primary literature or to present and support an argument, design assignments that explicitly require the skills that are necessary to accomplish these objectives.
  • Sequence your writing assignments to help students acquire skills incrementally, beginning with shorter, simpler writing assignments to longer, more complex papers. You might also find it helpful to develop a sequence for writing comments. In other words, decide ahead of time which aspects of the writing you will focus on with each assignment. For example, you may decide to focus your comments on the first assignment on the writing of the thesis statement, then focus comments on later papers on the success with which the students deal with counter-arguments. Sequencing your comments can help make the commenting process more efficient. However, it is essential to communicate to students before they turn in their papers which aspects of the writing you are going to focus on in your feedback at which points in the semester (and why).
  • Develop and communicate clear grading criteria for each writing assignment. These criteria will help you be as consistent and fair as possible when evaluating a group of student papers. Developing and using criteria is especially important when co-teaching a course or when asking TAs to grade papers for the course. Distribute the grading criteria to students (or post the criteria on the course Web site) so that they will know how you will evaluate their work. While there are shared criteria for “good writing” that apply across academic disciplines, each discipline also has certain standards and conventions that shape writing in the discipline. Do not expect that students will come into your class knowing how to write the kind of paper you will ask them to write. For example, a student who has learned how to write an excellent analytical paper in a literature course may not know how to write the kind of paper that is typically required for a history course. Give students a written list of discipline-specific standards and conventions, and explain these in class. Provide examples of the kind of writing they will need to produce in your course.
  • Develop a process for writing comments that will give students a clear idea of whether they have or have not achieved the course’s learning objectives (and with what degree of success). Students should be able to see a clear correlation among 1) written comments on a paper, 2) the grading criteria for the assignment, and 3) the learning objectives for the course. Thus, before you start reading and commenting on a stack of papers, remind yourself of the grading criteria, the learning objectives, and which aspects of the writing you want to focus on in your response.
  • The first time you read through a paper, try to hold off on writing comments. Instead, take the time to read the paper in its entirety. If you need to take some notes, do so on another piece of paper. This strategy will prevent you from making over-hasty judgments, such as faulting a student for omitting evidence that actually appears later in the paper. (In such cases, it may be appropriate to tell the student that you expected that evidence to be presented earlier–and the reason why). While you may expect this strategy to take more time, it can actually save you time by allowing you to focus your feedback on the most important strengths and weaknesses you want to bring to the writers’ attention (see “Writing Final Comments,” below).
  • Respond as a reader, not as a writer. Do not tell students how YOU would write the paper. Instead, tell them how you are responding to each part of the paper as you read it, pointing out gaps in logic or support and noting confusing language where it occurs. For example, if a sentence jumps abruptly to a new topic, do not rewrite the sentence to provide a clear transition or tell the student how to rewrite it. Instead, simply write a note in the margin to indicate the problem, then prompt the student to come up with a solution. This strategy is especially important to follow when a student asks you to respond to a draft before the final paper is due; in this case, your aim should be to help the student identify weaknesses that he or she should improve and NOT to do the student’s thinking and writing for them. Of course, in some instances, it is necessary and appropriate to give the student explicit directions, such as when she or he seems to have missed something important about the assignment, misread a source, left out an essential piece of evidence, or failed to cite a source correctly.
  • Ask questions to help students revise and improve. One way to ensure that your comments are not overly directive is to write questions in the margins, rather than instructions. For the most part, these questions should be “open” rather than “closed” (having only one correct answer.) Open questions can be a very effective way to prompt students to think more deeply about the topic, to provide needed evidence, or to clarify language. For ideas on how to phrase open questions, see Asking Questions to Improve Learning.
  • Resist the temptation to edit. Instead, mark a few examples of repeated errors and direct students to attend to those errors. Simply put, if you correct your students’ writing at the sentence level, they will not learn how to do so themselves, and you will continue to see the same errors in paper after paper. Moreover, when you mark all mechanical errors, you may overwhelm your students with so many marks that they will have trouble determining what to focus on when writing the next draft or paper.
  • Be specific. Comments in the margin such as “vague,” “confusing,” and “good” do not help students improve their writing. In fact, many students find these comments “vague” and “confusing”–and sometimes abrupt or harsh. Taking a little more time to write longer, and perhaps fewer, comments in the margin will help you identify for students exactly what they have done well or poorly. Information about both is crucial for helping them improve their writing.

Here are some examples of specific comments:

Rather than  “vague”

  • “Which research finding are you referring to here?”
  • “I don’t understand your use of the underlined phrase. Can you rewrite this sentence?”
  • “Can you provide specific details to show what you mean here?”

Instead of “ confusing ,” “ what? ” or “ ??? ”

  • “I lost the thread of your argument. Why is this information important? How is it related to your argument?”
  • “You imply that this point supports your argument, but it actually contradicts your point in paragraph 3.”

Rather than “ good ”

  • “This excellent example moves your argument forward.”
  • “Wonderful transition that helped clarify the connection between the two studies you are summarizing.”
  • “An apt metaphor that helped me understand your argument about this historical metaphor.”
  • Begin by making positive comments; when pointing out weaknesses, use a descriptive tone, rather than one that conveys disappointment or frustration. Give an honest assessment, but do not overwhelm the writer with an overly harsh or negative reaction. For example, do not assume or suggest that if a paper is not well written, the writer did not devote a lot of time to the assignment. The writer may have in fact struggled through several drafts. Keep in mind that confusing language or a lack of organized paragraphs may be evidence not of a lack of effort, but rather of confused thinking. The writer may therefore benefit from a few, targeted questions or comments that help them clarify their thinking.
  • Limit your comments; do not try to cover everything. Focus on the 3-4 most important aspects of the paper. Provide a brief summary of 1) what you understood from the paper and 2) any difficulties you encountered. Make sure that whatever you write addresses the grading criteria for the assignment, but also try to tailor your comments to the specific strengths and weaknesses shown by the individual student. While you may think that writing lots of comments will convey your interest in helping the student improve, students–like all writers–can be overwhelmed by copious written comments on their work. They may therefore have trouble absorbing all the comments you have written, let alone trying to use those comments to improve their writing on the next draft or paper.
  • Distinguish “higher-order” from “lower-order” issues. Typically, “higher-order” concerns include such aspects as the thesis and major supporting points, while “lower-order” concerns are grammatical or mechanical aspects of the writing. Whatever you see as “higher” in importance than other aspects should be clear in your grading criteria. Whatever you decide, write your comments in a way that will help students know which aspects of their writing they should focus on FIRST as they revise a paper or write the next paper. For example, if a paper lacks an argument or a main point in an assignment in which either an argument or main point is essential (as is usually the case), address that issue first in your comments before you note any grammatical errors that the student should attend to.
  • Refer students back to comments you wrote in the margins. For example, you might comment, “Your argument loses focus in the fourth paragraph (see my questions in margin).” You might also note a frequent pattern of mechanical error, then point them to a specific paragraph that contains that type of error.
  • Model clear, concise writing. Before you write final comments, take a moment to gather and order your thoughts.
  • Provide opportunities for revision. If you want students to improve their writing, give them an opportunity to apply what they have learned from your comments to a new, revised draft. Note: You should decide before the course begins whether you will allow students to revise their papers and, if so, when such revisions must be turned in (e.g., one week after papers handed back) and how you will grade the revision (e.g., average the grade of the revision with the grade earned on the original paper). If you decide not to allow students to revise papers, consider rewarding improvement from one paper to the next (e.g., the grade on the second paper is worth a greater percentage of the final course grade than the grade on the first paper).
  • If students are struggling with their writing, suggest a meeting during office hours. Often, students who are struggling to write clearly are also struggling to clarify what they think about the course material. Ask questions that help them figure out what they think and how to put those thoughts into a well organized, effective paper.
  • Recommend that students seek tutorial help at The Writing Center. At  The Writing Center , students can meet with writing tutors who will read their papers and provide feedback. Writing Center tutors are trained to provide students with feedback on the clarity of their writing in a general way and will not necessarily be familiar with the criteria you are using to grade papers, unless you or the student have shared those criteria. However, seeking such feedback can be very helpful to students as they learn to write for academic audiences.

Bean, J. C. (2011). Engaging Ideas: The Professor’s Guide to Integrating Writing, Critical Thinking, and Active Learning in the Classroom. 2nd ed. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Gottschalk, K. and K. Hjortshoj (2004). “What Can You Do with Student Writing?” In The Elements of Teaching Writing: A Resource for Instructors in All Disciplines. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Nicol, D. J., & Macfarlane‐Dick, D. (2006). Formative assessment and self‐regulated learning: A model and seven principles of good feedback practice. Studies  in higher education ,  31 (2), 199-218.

“Responding to Student Writing.” (2000). Harvard Writing Project Bulletin. The President and Fellows of Harvard College.

Straub, Richard. (2000). The Practice of Response: Strategies for Commenting on Student Writing. Cresskill, NJ: Hampton Press.

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COMMENTARY in a Sentence Examples: 21 Ways to Use Commentary

sentence with Commentary

Have you ever come across an example sentence with “commentary” and wondered what it really meant? In writing, commentary serves as an analysis or explanation provided alongside a main text, offering insight, critique, or reflection on the content.

Commentary can be found in various forms of literature, journalism, or academic writing to help elucidate the author’s thoughts or to provide context for the reader. It adds depth and perspective to a piece of writing, offering a unique lens through which to interpret the subject matter.

Table of Contents

7 Examples Of Commentary Used In a Sentence For Kids

  • I love to listen to commentary during cricket matches.
  • The teacher gave us commentary during storytime.
  • We can hear commentary during a movie to understand the story better.
  • The radio announcer provided commentary for the live sports event.
  • The nature guide offered commentary during our nature walk.
  • The sports announcer gives commentary on the game happening.
  • The news anchor provides commentary on current events.

14 Sentences with Commentary Examples

  • Students often find it helpful to listen to commentary while studying for their exams.
  • Attending a live sports match with commentary in the background can be a great stress-reliever for college students.
  • Watching documentaries with commentary can provide valuable insights on various subjects for students.
  • Commentary on current affairs can help students stay informed about important news and events.
  • Engaging in group discussions with commentary from different perspectives can enhance students’ critical thinking skills.
  • Podcasts featuring expert commentary are a popular way for college students to expand their knowledge on various topics.
  • The use of commentary in academic journals can help students understand complex theories and concepts better.
  • Watching a movie with audio commentary can offer students a deeper understanding of filmmaking techniques and storytelling.
  • Students can benefit from reading books with commentary by scholars to gain a deeper insight into literary works.
  • Participating in seminars with commentary from guest speakers can provide students with valuable real-world insights.
  • Following social media influencers who provide commentary on trending topics can keep college students well-informed.
  • College students often rely on online forums for commentary and discussions on their academic assignments.
  • Watching debates with commentary from experts can help students develop their argumentative and reasoning skills.
  • Attending workshops with commentary from industry professionals can give students a better understanding of career opportunities.

How To Use Commentary in Sentences?

To use Commentary in a sentence, start by introducing your main idea or argument. This could be a statement you want to elaborate on or a topic you want to discuss. Once you have your main point, insert a commentary to explain, analyze, or provide additional information about it.

For example, if your main idea is “The protagonist’s actions in the story reveal his true character,” your commentary could be “This highlights the internal conflict he faces throughout the novel.” Make sure your commentary enhances the reader’s understanding and adds depth to your statement.

When adding commentary in a sentence, it’s important to connect it smoothly to your main idea. Use transition words like “therefore,” “however,” or “thus” to show the relationship between your statement and the commentary . This helps to create a coherent and persuasive argument.

Remember to keep your commentary concise and relevant to the main point of the sentence. Avoid going off on tangents or introducing unrelated information. Focus on providing insightful analysis or explanation that strengthens your argument and engages the reader.

Practice incorporating commentary into your sentences to improve your writing skills. With time and effort, you’ll learn how to effectively use commentary to enhance your ideas and communicate more effectively.

In conclusion, sentences with commentary serve as valuable tools in providing additional context, explanation, and analysis to the main idea or message being conveyed. By incorporating commentary, writers can help readers better understand the significance of the information presented, deepen their comprehension, and encourage critical thinking. Whether used in academic papers, articles, or creative writing, sentences with commentary add depth and insight, enhancing the overall quality of the content.

Furthermore, by offering commentary alongside facts, opinions, or observations, writers can engage their audience, spark conversation, and prompt reflection. This approach not only helps to connect the reader with the material on a deeper level but also allows for a more enriching and informative reading experience. Ultimately, sentences with commentary play a crucial role in enhancing communication, fostering understanding, and encouraging readers to consider different perspectives and insights.

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Original Writing and Commentary Example NEA

Original Writing and Commentary Example NEA

Subject: English

Age range: 16+

Resource type: Assessment and revision

A Level English Language Revision

Last updated

9 February 2024

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A Level English Language NEA A* Examples

Example coursework for both tasks in A Level English Language. Includes two full pieces of coursework & the data used to produce them. This language investigation & directed writing with commentary was submitted to AQA in summer 2017 and awarded an A*. This makes it the perfect example to show students what is required of them in the NEA. Why it works: * Shows how to use current A Level study as a toolkit to study language * Demonstrates how to organise & structure the write-up * Example of the level of analysis & interpretation needed for highest grades * Can be reworked as a template for *your* future (brilliant!) NEA Follow my twitter to stay updated with more essential free resources and news - @astarlevels [Check out my shop for more essays and revision resources!](https://www.tes.com/teaching-resources/shop/astarlevels)

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    Original Writing and Commentary Example NEA. Subject: English. Age range: 16+. Resource type: Assessment and revision. File previews. pdf, 114.67 KB. pdf, 55.76 KB. This original writing and commentary was submitted to AQA in summer 2017 and awarded an A*. This makes it the perfect example to show students what is required of them in the NEA.