the tender bar book review guardian

Advertisement

Supported by

‘The Tender Bar’ Review: Where Everybody Knows His Name

Ben Affleck serves up whiskey and wisdom in George Clooney’s adaptation of the best-selling memoir by J.R. Moehringer.

• Share full article

By A.O. Scott

Every kid should have an Uncle Charlie. That’s the sentiment voiced by J.R. Maguire early in “The Tender Bar,” and it’s hard to disagree. By the end of the movie, directed by George Clooney and adapted from J.R. Moehringer’s 2005 memoir , it’s clear that what J.R. means, most simply, is that every child should have an adult who loves them unconditionally: someone who listens, gives good advice and answers hard questions as truthfully as possible.

In movie terms, it doesn’t hurt if that person is also Ben Affleck. Uncle Charlie, a Long Island bartender who is loyal to his friends and family and devoted to his car (a beautiful blue-green Cadillac convertible), is like an older, 1980s-vintage version of Chuckie Sullivan , Affleck’s character in “Good Will Hunting.” He likes to drink, smoke, crack wise and philosophize, but his calling in life is to be there for a vulnerable, promising young man when no one else will.

Affleck is very good at this. He doesn’t oversell either Charlie’s cool or his warmth, and doesn’t let the audience or J.R. in on all of Charlie’s secrets. We see him mostly through the boy’s eyes, as a heroic, benevolent, somewhat mysterious figure, but Affleck’s weary, stoical demeanor suggests dimensions beyond what a child might comprehend. (The young J.R. is played by Daniel Ranieri; grown-up, retrospective narration is provided by the voice of Ron Livingston.) The nuances of Affleck’s performance help ground the movie in small, specific emotions. Its understatement, though, can be a limitation as well as a virtue.

The obvious thing to say about Charlie is that he’s a surrogate father. J.R.’s real dad (Max Martini) is an unreliable, largely absent, self-absorbed disc jockey. He sometimes calls, rarely shows up and lives mainly as a voice on the radio. (“The Voice” is his professional alias.) “The Tender Bar” begins when J.R. and his mother, Dorothy (Lily Rabe), move into her parents’ rambling house in Manhasset. Dorothy’s brother Charlie lives there too, as do a bunch of other cousins and siblings.

We don’t learn too much about them. The focus is on J.R.’s relationships with Dorothy and Charlie, and on his search for The Voice. Grandpa, in the splendidly cranky person of Christopher Lloyd, shows up now and again to swear or break wind, and once in a while to show a little tenderness.

J.R.’s second home is the bar, called the Dickens, where Charlie pours drinks for the regulars and dispenses what he calls “male science” to his nephew. In keeping with the joint’s literary name (there’s a fading likeness of Charles Dickens painted on the side of the building), Charlie keeps books as well as bottles on the shelves. He encourages J.R. to read, and then to write.

Dorothy is determined to send her son to Harvard or Yale, and the second half of the movie — with Tye Sheridan as an older J.R. — follows him to New Haven, where he makes a friend (Rhenzy Feliz) and falls in love (with a classmate played by Briana Middleton). He also puts aside his mother’s dreams of law school to concentrate on writing. He first envisions a novel about his youth, but everyone tells him that “the publishing world is turning toward memoir.”

It’s a nice little joke, though perhaps a bit anachronistic for 1986. The real J.R. Moehringer spent years as a journalist at The Los Angeles Times before writing “The Tender Bar,” but Clooney and the screenwriter, William Monahan, are true to the spirit of the book rather than faithful to the letter. Instead of forcing J.R.’s messy life into a neat plot, the movie skips across his life like a flat stone on the surface of a pond.

Which is also to say that it doesn’t go as deep as it might. Potentially dramatic material — paternal abandonment, maternal illness, unrequited love, alcoholism — is treated with a circumspection that can feel coy and cautious rather than subtle.

But when Affleck is around — especially with young Ranieri as his wingman and pupil — the laid-back vibe of “The Tender Bar” achieves its full measure of weary, wised-up charm. It’s not the kind of movie that will knock you out, but it won’t leave you with a headache and a dry mouth, either. It’s a generous pour and a mellow buzz.

The Tender Bar Rated R. Smoke ’em if you got ’em. Running time: 1 hour 44 minutes. In theaters.

A.O. Scott is a co-chief film critic. He joined The Times in 2000 and has written for the Book Review and The New York Times Magazine. He is also the author of “Better Living Through Criticism.” More about A.O. Scott

Explore More in TV and Movies

Not sure what to watch next we can help..

As “Sex and the City” became more widely available on Netflix, younger viewers have watched it with a critical eye . But its longtime millennial and Gen X fans can’t quit.

Hoa Xuande had only one Hollywood credit when he was chosen to lead “The Sympathizer,” the starry HBO adaptation of a prize-winning novel. He needed all the encouragement he could get .

Even before his new film “Civil War” was released, the writer-director Alex Garland faced controversy over his vision of a divided America  with Texas and California as allies.

Theda Hammel’s directorial debut, “Stress Positions,” a comedy about millennials weathering the early days of the pandemic , will ask audiences to return to a time that many people would rather forget.

If you are overwhelmed by the endless options, don’t despair — we put together the best offerings   on Netflix , Max , Disney+ , Amazon Prime  and Hulu  to make choosing your next binge a little easier.

Sign up for our Watching newsletter  to get recommendations on the best films and TV shows to stream and watch, delivered to your inbox.

Movie Reviews

Tv/streaming, collections, great movies, chaz's journal, contributors, the tender bar.

Now streaming on:

To quote Yogi Berra, “The Tender Bar” is “déjà vu all over again.” This is the same "young man's coming-of-age story" you’ve seen over and over. Nothing new has been added. The poster calls this “a feel good movie,” but who is supposed to feel good here? Certainly not the average viewer, who has seen this tired material so many times they can practically recite the dialogue. Could it be the characters, a “lovable” bunch of sad-sack losers who always get the benefit of the doubt no matter how little they deserve it? Perhaps it’s the Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist whose book warranted this adaptation? Or maybe it’s George Clooney , who took a paycheck to direct a movie so flatly that his disinterest is evident in every frame.

We’re in the age of the uncle movie, and their influential characters run the gamut of stereotypes. We’ve had the cool, gay uncle in “ Uncle Frank ” and the big-hearted, sensitive uncle in “C’mon C’mon.” “The Tender Bar” has the straight-shooting, honest uncle whose true self gets poisoned by nostalgia. You know this one; he’s the tough guy who cusses in front of you when you’re a kid, promises to always tell you the truth, and gives you romantic advice that will prove useless. He can even get the everlasting gobstopper crap beaten out of him, and your hazy affection for his toughness won’t waver. You think back on him with fondness, as he was so much larger than life in your youth, and that affection buffs off the edges you unwillingly recall as an adult.

This kind of uncle is embodied here by Ben Affleck , whose presence made me incorrectly assume this movie took place in Boston. Uncle Ben, or rather, Uncle Charlie as Affleck’s character is christened, runs a bar on Long Island called The Dickens Bar. Unlike Joseph Cotten ’s more famous namesake from “ Shadow of a Doubt ,” Uncle Charlie doesn’t murder people and terrorize his sister’s kid; the star rating would be higher if he did. Instead, he instructs his young nephew JR in the fine art of being a man. These lessons are necessary because, you guessed it, JR’s got daddy issues exacerbated by his missing Papa, a radio DJ nicknamed “The Voice” ( Max Martini ). JR listens to The Voice whenever he can, while he and his mother ( Lily Rabe ) wonder where he is. Considering radio stations have call letters and physical locations in 1973, it shouldn’t be too hard to find this deadbeat. Whenever anyone hears The Voice on the radio, they immediately knock over or destroy the radio. These folks have lots of radios to pummel.

No matter. The Voice shows up every so often to predictably disappoint the young JR, who is played in an excellent debut by Daniel Ranieri , and to infuriate the older JR, who is played by Tye Sheridan with just as much disinterest as his director puts into shooting him. One of many running jokes that never works (but would inspire a great drinking game to pass your time) is the response whenever JR introduces himself. “What does the JR stand for?” they ask. There’s no answer. Another unsuccessful running joke is the reason why Uncle Charlie gets angry whenever The Voice shows up—apparently he owes Charlie 30 dollars. My mind drifted to the pissed off paperboy from “Better Off Dead,” who constantly screamed “I want my two dollars!!” whenever he saw John Cusack . At least he doesn’t get beaten up for demanding his dough. Uncle Charlie, on the other hand, is not so lucky.

Mom (as she’s billed) wants JR to go to Yale. Nobody believes he can get in, least of all Grandpa ( Christopher Lloyd ). Grandpa wants Mom, JR, and Uncle Charlie out of his damn house. “You keep coming back!” he says when Mom complains about how horrible a father he was. These scenes play like a bad sitcom. I don’t know how faithful William Monahan ’s script is to J.R. Moehringer’s memoir, but I hope the book has more substance and less cliché. I don’t have to tell you that JR will easily get into Yale with a full ride, will fall in love with a rich woman who uses his blue collar heart as a doormat, and will achieve his dream of being a writer despite the New York Times firing him because, just like this movie, most of his news stories are puff pieces about The Dickens Bar.

“Narration!!” reads the opening line of my notes for “The Tender Bar.” I underlined it three times out of frustration. Unless it’s a film noir or Morgan Freeman is on the soundtrack, narration far too often symbolizes lazy screenwriting. Granted, this is a memoir, but when JR is telling you things you’re already seeing or have just seen, it makes his voice on the soundtrack extraneous. Making matters worse, unlike Ranieri, whose eyes sparkle with wonder and admiration in every scene, Sheridan’s performance elicits no response from the viewer, even in the unnecessarily brutal final showdown with The Voice. I suppose that, given the familiarity of every aspect of the plot, the makers of this film were hoping you’d bring your own emotional baggage so you can do the heavy lifting instead of them.

At least Affleck is very, very good here, turning a thankless role into something more memorable than the material suggests. I wouldn’t want him as my uncle, but my love of dive bars made me want him to be my bartender. He has fun with his profane dialogue and has chemistry with the regulars, including Max Casella and Michael Braun . This is the kind of role that gets the Oscar nomination over the more deserving performance by the same actor in a different film, so don’t be surprised if Affleck gets one for this. It’ll be as predictable a development as every detail in “The Tender Bar.”

Now playing in select theaters and available on Amazon on January 7th.

Odie Henderson

Odie "Odienator" Henderson has spent over 33 years working in Information Technology. He runs the blogs Big Media Vandalism and Tales of Odienary Madness. Read his answers to our Movie Love Questionnaire  here .

Now playing

Knox Goes Away

Robert daniels.

You'll Never Find Me

Sheila o'malley.

The Fall Guy

Brian tallerico.

Dusk for a Hitman

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

Matt zoller seitz.

Steve! (Martin): A Documentary in Two Pieces

Film credits.

The Tender Bar (2021)

Rated R for language throughout and some sexual content.

104 minutes

Ben Affleck as Uncle Charlie

Tye Sheridan as J. R. Moehringer

Lily Rabe as Dorothy Moehringer

Christopher Lloyd as Grandpa

Daniel Ranieri as Young J. R. Moehringer

Rhenzy Feliz as Wesley

Briana Middleton as Sidney

Max Casella as Chief

• George Clooney

Writer (book)

• J.R. Moehringer
• William Monahan

Cinematographer

• Martin Ruhe
• Tanya Swerling
• Dara Taylor

Latest blog posts

25 Years Later, Alexander Payne’s Election Remains as Relevant as Ever

Sharp Writing, Excellent Cast Keep Spy Thriller The Veil Engaging

Take Another Trip to the End of the World with Sony’s Stellar Blade

He's Got Something Going On: David Proval on Mean Streets, and Acting for Martin Scorsese

Your browser is not supported

Sorry but it looks as if your browser is out of date. To get the best experience using our site we recommend that you upgrade or switch browsers.

Find a solution

• Skip to main content
• Skip to navigation

• Back to parent navigation item
• Digital Editions
• Screen Network
• Stars Of Tomorrow
• The Big Screen Awards
• FYC screenings
• World of Locations
• UK in focus
• Job vacancies
• Distribution
• Staff moves
• Territories
• UK & Ireland
• North America
• Asia Pacific
• Middle East & Africa
• Future Leaders
• My Screen Life
• Karlovy Vary
• San Sebastian
• Sheffield Doc/Fest
• Middle East
• Box Office Reports
• International
• Golden Globes
• European Film Awards
• Stars of Tomorrow
• Berlin jury grid

Subscribe to Screen International

• Monthly print editions
• Awards season weeklies
• Stars of Tomorrow and exclusive supplements
• Over 16 years of archived content
• More from navigation items

'The Tender Bar’: London Review

By Tim Grierson, Senior US Critic 2021-10-10T22:00:00+01:00

Ben Affleck and Tye Sheridan star in George Clooney’s adaptation of a writer’s memoirs set in Long Island of the 1970s and 80s

Source: Amazon

‘The Tender Bar’

Dir: George Clooney. US. 2021. 105 mins.  

George Clooney’s eighth film as a director is a warm if ultimately flimsy coming-of-age drama about a young man who must let go of his absent father in order to fulfil his dream of becoming a writer. Based on the memoir by Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist JR Moehringer, The Tender Bar has plenty of familiar qualities — the nostalgic vibe, the gentle life lessons, the exploration of family — that are mitigated somewhat by a few touching passages and a collection of unfussy, lived-in performances, including that of Ben Affleck as a kindly uncle keeping a close eye on our sensitive protagonist. But neither the milieu nor the insights are especially fresh, despite the tender tone.  

Clooney embraces the material with what might best be described as a bland, feel-good pleasantness

Premiering at the London Film Festival, this Amazon title will be released in US theatres on December 17 before landing on the streaming platform globally in early January. Affleck is joined in the cast by Tye Sheridan and Lily Rabe, but the subject matter may prove the biggest draw, especially for adult viewers who will appreciate the undemanding approach and the wealth of 1970s hits from the likes of Golden Earring and Steely Dan on the soundtrack. 

The film is set largely on Long Island as preteen JR (Daniel Ranieri) and his harried single mom Dorothy (Rabe) have to move back into her father’s (Christopher Lloyd) home because she can’t afford her own place. Never really knowing his dad, a disc jockey who walked out years ago, JR has always been drawn to his mother’s brother, Uncle Charlie (Affleck), a bartender and father figure who encourages him to pursue his passion for reading. Later, as a college student, JR (now played by Sheridan), will pursue a career as a writer, although he lacks confidence in his talent. 

Working with cinematographer Martin Ruhe and costume designer Jenny Eagan, Clooney gives the story, which takes place over the 1970s and ‘80s, a rich hue, with Ron Livingston providing a honeyed voiceover as the adult JR looking back on his childhood. Although the young JR deals with abandonment issues and romantic heartbreak, The Tender Bar never treads into particularly traumatic terrain, practically guaranteeing from the start that a happy ending awaits. 

Newcomer Ranieri exudes sweetness, and he and Affleck have a cosy rapport. Affleck, who won an Oscar alongside Clooney as producers of Argo , knows precisely how to play Uncle Charlie, giving this overgrown bachelor an endearing spirit: Charlie may be a working stiff, but he’s a well-read, thoughtful guy who teaches the boy the importance of self-respect and intellectual curiosity. William Monahan’s screenplay too easily turns Uncle Charlie into an abstraction — the idealised male role model — but Affleck’s effortless charm is nicely utilised. 

Yet a lack of urgency consistently hampers this likeable tale, coupled with the fact that the main character’s narrative isn’t particularly compelling. When Sheridan takes over the role from Ranieri, JR starts to show a little more swagger in his college years, but the script shifts focus to his underdeveloped on-again/off-again relationship with Sidney (Briana Middleton), a wealthy Yale classmate who likes sleeping with him but will never truly love him. The Tender Bar addresses class divisions — JR’s humble origins make him self-conscious at his posh Ivy League school — but they’re not dissected in any meaningful way, just as the lingering sorrow over his estranged father feels superficial rather than a driving force in the young man’s life. 

Beyond The Tender Bar ’s nostalgic qualities — highlighted by Kalina Ivanov’s period-specific production design and the inclusion of classic-rock radio staples such as ’Radar Love’— Clooney embraces the material with what might best be described as a bland, feel-good pleasantness. JR will finally confront his no-good father (Max Martini), but even then the film shies away from the story’s inherently darker textures. Indeed, whether it’s a health scare that befalls Dorothy or the challenges JR faces once he finagles a job at The New York Times , there’s a weightlessness to the picture that diminishes the character’s journey of self-discovery.  

Presumably, Clooney’s sepia-toned approach is meant to underline his affection for JR and the family members who adore him. But by not digging deeper, the director shortchanges the very real growing pains that profoundly shape people’s lives— especially in those individuals who later turn their childhood into a successful memoir that will eventually be adapted into a motion picture.

Production companies: Smokehouse Pictures, Grand Illusion

Worldwide distribution: Amazon

Producers: George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Ted Hope

Screenplay: William Monahan, based on the memoir by J.R. Moehringer

Production design: Kalina Ivanov

Editing: Tanya Swerling

Cinematography: Martin Ruhe 

Music: Dara Taylor

Main cast: Ben Affleck, Tye Sheridan, Lily Rabe, Christopher Lloyd, Daniel Ranieri 

• London Film Festival
• United States

Related articles

2024 film festivals and markets calendar: latest dates

2024-04-26T09:06:00Z By Ben Dalton

Bookmark this page to keep track of all the latest festival dates.

‘The Shameless’: first trailer for Un Certain Regard Indian forbidden romance thriller (exclusive)

2024-04-26T08:36:00Z By Rebecca Leffler

Konstantin Bojanov’s third feature follows two women trying to escape prostitution, who fall in love.

Ashley Judd calls overturning of Harvey Weinstein rape conviction “institutional betrayal”

2024-04-26T00:11:00Z By Jeremy Kay

MeToo movement founder Tarana Burke calls decision ”a clarion call”.

More from Reviews

‘Never Look Away’: Hot Docs Review

2024-04-25T08:00:00Z By Tim Grierson Senior US Critic

Lucy Lawless makes her directorial debut with this unflinching look at combat photojournalist Margaret Moth

‘A House On Fire’: Review

2024-04-22T14:53:00Z By Jonathan Holland

A dysfunctional family gathers for an explosive weekend on the Costa Brava in this dark Catalan comedy

‘The Landscape And The Fury’: Visions du Reel Review

2024-04-19T20:00:00Z By Allan Hunter

The fragility of life in the Bosnia and Herzegovina borderlands is challenged by the arrival of refugees in this immersive Visions du Reel winner

• Advertise with Screen
• A - Z of Subjects
• Connect with us on Facebook
• Connect with us on Twitter
• Connect with us on Linked in
• Connect with us on YouTube
• Connect with us on Instagram>

Screen International is the essential resource for the international film industry. Subscribe now for monthly editions, awards season weeklies, access to the Screen International archive and supplements including Stars of Tomorrow and World of Locations.

• Screen Awards
• Media Production & Technology Show
• Terms and conditions
• Privacy & Cookie Policy
• Copyright © 2023 Media Business Insight Limited
• Subscription FAQs

Site powered by Webvision Cloud

‘The Tender Bar’ Review: A Better-Than-Ever Ben Affleck Plays the Uncle Any 9-Year-Old Wants

The role of Uncle Charlie could be a comeback for an actor who's been to the top, but had a hard time staying there — whereas director George Clooney is coasting behind the camera.

By Peter Debruge

Peter Debruge

Chief Film Critic

• ‘The Three Musketeers – Part II: Milady’ Review: Eva Green Surprises in French Blockbuster’s Less-Than-Faithful Finale 1 week ago
• ‘The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare’ Review: Henry Cavill Leads a Pack of Inglorious Rogues in Guy Ritchie’s Spirited WWII Coup 1 week ago
• ‘Challengers’ Review: Zendaya and Company Smash the Sports-Movie Mold in Luca Guadagnino’s Tennis Scorcher 2 weeks ago

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but in Pulitzer-winning journalist J.R. Moehringer’s case, a Long Island pub will do. A broadly appealing, only slightly sentimental personal history adapted from Moehringer’s memoir by director George Clooney and “The Departed” screenwriter Bill Monahan, “ The Tender Bar ” acknowledges how, growing up without a father, the young J.R. found the next best thing, if not better, in his blue-collar uncle Charlie (a terrific Ben Affleck , who, between this and “The Way Back,” could well be entering a new chapter in his career).

It was Charlie — bartender at a spot called The Dickens, where rows of thick hardback books lined the shelves behind the bar — who encouraged J.R.’s early attempts at writing, and who taught the boy what it meant to be a man and how to respect women. When the time came, Charlie showed J.R. how to drive and served the young man his first drink. Where was J.R.’s (not dead, but deadbeat) dad in all of this, you ask? He was there but not there, a voice on the radio: Dad (Max Martini) was a New York DJ who’d had a fling with his mom, Dorothy (Lily Rabe), some years earlier, but didn’t stick around to help her raise the kid.

Considering the source, it’s unsurprising that “The Tender Bar” should be told from a few decades’ remove via an older, wiser and now better-with-words voiceover narration, delivered by Tye Sheridan as the older, Yale-graduated version of the character. J.R. spends so much time insisting that he didn’t mind not having a dad in his life that you can’t help realizing the truth must have been exactly the opposite. And though the story builds to an attempted reunion that even the screenplay acknowledges as somewhat contrived, it’s relatable in the sense that so many Americans didn’t grow up in perfect “Leave It to Beaver” households, and so it falls to us to define our identities as shaped by but separate from whatever families we were given.

Popular on Variety

In 1973, at the age of 9, J.R. (child-actorly Daniel Ranieri, defined by his big brown eyes and even darker lashes) and his mom left the big city and moved back to Manhasset, Long Island. It must have been especially humiliating for Dorothy, who’d enjoyed a few years’ independence before returning to the boisterous family home, where her brother (Affleck) and sister (Ranieri’s real-life mom, Danielle) still lived with their disheveled dad (Christopher Lloyd), a man defined by his routine of farting and then unconvincingly insisting, “I didn’t do that!” Hey, it’s his house.

J.R. is fiercely loyal to his mother, and yet, the film is fairly incurious about what she was going through during much of this time, focused as it is on how the boy found the inspiration to become a writer. Whereas novels require a writer to identify with other people, when it comes to memoir, that kind of narcissism is baked into the form. It may be a hot trend in publishing, but it’s far from my favorite genre, and few Hollywood clichés annoy me more than the one where a writer struggles to find his voice, only to wind up writing the film we’ve just seen (e.g., “The Wonder Boys”).

What makes films like this work isn’t sincerity but specificity: those details that someone couldn’t just make up, or that we’d never believe if they did. The family in “The Tender Bar” reminded me of the feisty Eklund clan in David O. Russell’s “The Fighter,” minus a lot of the tornado-unleashed-indoors energy that made them seem so alive. Still, there are glimpses of that same kind of spunk here, as when Dad — aka The Voice — comes over the radio and someone hastily shoves the device off a shelf. J.R. spends a good deal of his childhood listening to the radio, trying to imagine some kind of connection with the man on the other end, although the few times they do interact mostly serve to reinforce what a scumbag the guy is.

Luckily (and luck is a concept Moehringer doesn’t take lightly), J.R. has a stand-up guy like Uncle Charlie instead, and whatever the real-life version might have been like hardly matters, since Affleck turns him into one of the year’s most memorable characters. He’s a slightly flawed but thoroughly sincere substitute father figure who likes baseball and bowling, but recognizes instantly that J.R. has no aptitude for sports and tries to encourage his intellectual side instead. Charlie is a smart guy too, well-read enough to recommend and discuss the books that play such a key role in shaping J.R.’s personality — although the film argues that Uncle Charlie had a greater impact.

After the super-turkey that was “Gigli” — if not immediately following the multitalent’s premature Oscar win for the similarly feel-good “Good Will Hunting” — public sentiment turned on Affleck, who’s so good at playing the charismatic and relatable everyman that people seem to resent how lucky the guy has it in his off-screen life. (To quote the film on that subject: “Luck is how we all got here.”) But it’s not easy being Ben Affleck, by which I mean, there aren’t many actors who seem so comfortably themselves on-screen, and now that Affleck has reached middle age, he’s capable of bringing fresh depth to his performances. We saw it earlier this year in “The Way Back,” which drew on the actor’s own battles with alcoholism, and here, the wear and tear and flecks of white in his hair give dimension to a character who presents his best possible face to J.R., but is clearly more complicated than this kid’s-eye view is ready to acknowledge.

If only such growth were evident on Clooney’s side of the equation: When the actor first tried his hand at directing, he set his sights high, first with the ambitious but awful “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind,” and later, far more successfully, in “Good Night, and Good Luck.” But Clooney’s filmmaking has been hit-and-mostly-miss ever since: polished enough, but lacking much of a personality. There’s a certain blandness to “The Tender Bar” as well, à la “Tuesdays With Morrie” or any number of ostensibly inspirational memoirs, though perhaps the maturity comes in the willingness to get out of the movie’s way and let the material speak for itself.

Reviewed at DGA Theater, Los Angeles, Oct. 3, 2021. (In BFI London Film Festival.) MPAA Rating: R. Running time: 106 MIN.

• Production: An Amazon Studios release. Producers: George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Ted Hope. Executive producers: Barbara A. Hall, J.R. Moehringer.
• Crew: Director: George Clooney. Screenplay: William Monahan, based on the memoir by J.R. Moehringer. Camera: Martin Ruhe. Editor: Tanya M. Swerling. Music: Dara Taylor.
• With: Ben Affleck, Tye Sheridan, Lily Rabe, Christopher Lloyd, Max Martini, Rhenzy Feliz, Briana Middleton, Max Casella, Sondra James, Michael Braun, Daniel Ranieri.

More From Our Brands

Eminem announces new lp ‘the death of slim shady (coup de grace)’, martin short just bought a secluded l.a. home, ncaa names nil registry partner after five-year process, be tough on dirt but gentle on your body with the best soaps for sensitive skin, bridgerton designer explains how color theory aided penelope and colin’s season 3 glow-ups, verify it's you, please log in.

• ADMIN AREA MY BOOKSHELF MY DASHBOARD MY PROFILE SIGN OUT SIGN IN

THE TENDER BAR

by J.R. Moehringer ‧ RELEASE DATE: Sept. 7, 2005

A straight-up account of masculinity, maturity and memory that leaves a smile on the face and an ache in the heart.

It takes a gin mill to raise a child—or so one might think from this memoir filled with gladness by a Pulitzer Prize–winning Los Angeles Times correspondent.

In the early ’70s, grade-schooler Moehringer lived with his mother in her father’s house in Manhasset, a small town 17 miles east of Manhattan that F. Scott Fitzgerald used as the setting for The Great Gatsby. Listening to the radio for his absent father (a drunken deejay), puzzled by his slovenly grandfather, the boy had no male role models until Uncle Charlie took him to the local saloon where he bartended. Moehringer evokes the sights, sounds and smells that gave Publicans (originally known as Dickens) its sodden charm: not just the beer and the fund of coins accumulating in the urinal, but the “faint notes of perfumes and colognes, hair tonics and shoe creams, lemons and steaks and cigars and newspapers, and an undertone of brine from Manhasset Bay.” Sporting Runyonesque nicknames like Bob the Cop, Cager, Stinky, Colt, Smelly, Jimbo, Fast Eddy and Bobo, the bar’s denizens included poets, bookies, Vietnam vets, lawyers, actors, athletes, misfits and dreamers, all forming “one enormous male eye looking over my shoulder.” Moehringer captures in all its raunchy, often hilarious glory the conversations of these master storytellers, as intoxicated by words as by alcohol. Their saloon community later provided a retreat for the author following a disastrous collegiate love affair and failure as a New York Times copyboy. The 1989 death of charismatic owner Steve began Publicans’ demise, but also propelled 25-year-old Moehringer into growing up, as he left his buddies behind and began his journalism career anew out West.

Pub Date: Sept. 7, 2005

ISBN: 1-4013-0064-2

Page Count: 384

Publisher: Hyperion

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: July 15, 2005

BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | GENERAL BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR

Share your opinion of this book

More by J.R. Moehringer

BOOK REVIEW

edited by J.R. Moehringer ; series editor: Glenn Stout

by J.R. Moehringer

More About This Book

BOOK TO SCREEN

by Elie Wiesel & translated by Marion Wiesel ‧ RELEASE DATE: Jan. 16, 2006

The author's youthfulness helps to assure the inevitable comparison with the Anne Frank diary although over and above the...

Elie Wiesel spent his early years in a small Transylvanian town as one of four children. 

He was the only one of the family to survive what Francois Maurois, in his introduction, calls the "human holocaust" of the persecution of the Jews, which began with the restrictions, the singularization of the yellow star, the enclosure within the ghetto, and went on to the mass deportations to the ovens of Auschwitz and Buchenwald. There are unforgettable and horrifying scenes here in this spare and sombre memoir of this experience of the hanging of a child, of his first farewell with his father who leaves him an inheritance of a knife and a spoon, and of his last goodbye at Buchenwald his father's corpse is already cold let alone the long months of survival under unconscionable conditions. 

Pub Date: Jan. 16, 2006

ISBN: 0374500010

Page Count: 120

Publisher: Hill & Wang

Review Posted Online: Oct. 7, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2006

BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | HOLOCAUST | HISTORY | GENERAL BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | GENERAL HISTORY

More by Elie Wiesel

by Elie Wiesel ; edited by Alan Rosen

by Elie Wiesel ; illustrated by Mark Podwal

by Elie Wiesel ; translated by Marion Wiesel

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS

From mean streets to wall street.

by Chris Gardner with Quincy Troupe ‧ RELEASE DATE: June 1, 2006

Well-told and admonitory.

Young-rags-to-mature-riches memoir by broker and motivational speaker Gardner.

Born and raised in the Milwaukee ghetto, the author pulled himself up from considerable disadvantage. He was fatherless, and his adored mother wasn’t always around; once, as a child, he spied her at a family funeral accompanied by a prison guard. When beautiful, evanescent Moms was there, Chris also had to deal with Freddie “I ain’t your goddamn daddy!” Triplett, one of the meanest stepfathers in recent literature. Chris did “the dozens” with the homies, boosted a bit and in the course of youthful adventure was raped. His heroes were Miles Davis, James Brown and Muhammad Ali. Meanwhile, at the behest of Moms, he developed a fondness for reading. He joined the Navy and became a medic (preparing badass Marines for proctology), and a proficient lab technician. Moving up in San Francisco, married and then divorced, he sold medical supplies. He was recruited as a trainee at Dean Witter just around the time he became a homeless single father. All his belongings in a shopping cart, Gardner sometimes slept with his young son at the office (apparently undiscovered by the night cleaning crew). The two also frequently bedded down in a public restroom. After Gardner’s talents were finally appreciated by the firm of Bear Stearns, his American Dream became real. He got the cool duds, hot car and fine ladies so coveted from afar back in the day. He even had a meeting with Nelson Mandela. Through it all, he remained a prideful parent. His own no-daddy blues are gone now.

Pub Date: June 1, 2006

ISBN: 0-06-074486-3

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Amistad/HarperCollins

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 15, 2006

GENERAL BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | BUSINESS

• Discover Books Fiction Thriller & Suspense Mystery & Detective Romance Science Fiction & Fantasy Nonfiction Biography & Memoir Teens & Young Adult Children's
• News & Features Bestsellers Book Lists Profiles Perspectives Awards Seen & Heard Book to Screen Kirkus TV videos In the News
• Kirkus Prize Winners & Finalists About the Kirkus Prize Kirkus Prize Judges
• Magazine Current Issue All Issues Manage My Subscription Subscribe
• Writers’ Center Hire a Professional Book Editor Get Your Book Reviewed Advertise Your Book Launch a Pro Connect Author Page Learn About The Book Industry
• More Kirkus Diversity Collections Kirkus Pro Connect My Account/Login
• About Kirkus History Our Team Contest FAQ Press Center Info For Publishers
• Privacy Policy
• Terms & Conditions
• Reprints, Permission & Excerpting Policy

© Copyright 2024 Kirkus Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Popular in this Genre

Hey there, book lover.

We’re glad you found a book that interests you!

Please select an existing bookshelf

Create a new bookshelf.

We can’t wait for you to join Kirkus!

Please sign up to continue.

It’s free and takes less than 10 seconds!

Already have an account? Log in.

Trouble signing in? Retrieve credentials.

Almost there!

• Industry Professional

Welcome Back!

Sign in using your Kirkus account

Contact us: 1-800-316-9361 or email [email protected].

Don’t fret. We’ll find you.

Magazine Subscribers ( How to Find Your Reader Number )

If You’ve Purchased Author Services

Don’t have an account yet? Sign Up.

By providing your information, you agree to our Terms of Use and our Privacy Policy . We use vendors that may also process your information to help provide our services. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA Enterprise and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

‘The Tender Bar’ Review: George Clooney Directs Ben Affleck as a Kind Uncle in a Limp Memoir Adaptation

Nicholas barber.

• Share on Facebook
• Share to Flipboard
• Share on LinkedIn
• Show more sharing options
• Submit to Reddit
• Post to Tumblr
• Print This Page
• Share on WhatsApp

In George Clooney ’s eighth film as director, “The Tender Bar,” the hero’s Uncle Charlie ( Ben Affleck ) manages a thriving neighborhood watering hole called the Dickens. In keeping with its name, it has shelves of dusty leather-bound novels, one of which Charlie hands to his nephew. “That was the moment,” a voiceover informs us, “I knew I wanted to be a writer.”

Some viewers may be thrilled by this statement, and desperate to see how on earth the tyke can fulfill his literary ambitions. Other viewers may dread all the annoying aspects of this particularly precious sub-genre of the non-fiction coming-of-age comedy drama. Adapted from a memoir by J. R. Moehringer, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, “The Tender Bar” has all of those annoying aspects. First, there is the inherent lack of tension: we’re watching a film based on a book, so we know that the narrator will reach his goal. Then there are the embarrassingly self-congratulatory scenes in which various relatives and colleagues pronounce that the lad is a “prodigy” who produces “outstanding” and “terrific” work. And finally, there is the undeniable point that becoming a writer — i.e., doing lots of reading and typing — is altogether less cinematic than becoming a gangster or an astronaut.

This last point is the kicker. As watchable as it is missable, “The Tender Bar” is a pleasantly anecdotal amble down memory lane which features amusing one-liners, nostalgic production design, warm, soft, golden-brown lighting, and an efficient if anonymous directorial style: Clooney’s one flourish is a split-screen sequence over the closing credits. But the fact is: nothing much happens. J.R.’s loving mother Dorothy (Lily Rabe) insists about 14 times that he should go to Yale, and that’s what he does. She also insists that he study law, but when he says he wants to be a writer instead, she doesn’t mutter a word of complaint. The film’s screenwriter, William Monahan (“The Departed”, “Body of Lies”) hasn’t put in any major obstacles or villains, and the incidental details aren’t interesting enough to compensate.

Initially, it seems as if “The Tender Bar” will be more dramatic. It’s 1973, and the 11-year-old J.R. is played by Daniel Ranieri, an online sensation with the thick dark eyelashes and expressive composure of a silent movie star. (Unfortunately, he looks nothing like Tye Sheridan, who is sweetly self-effacing as the older J.R.) Dorothy has lost her job, her home, and her latest boyfriend, so she is forced to return to her father’s suburban house in Manhasset, Long Island. She sees the move as a sign of failure, but the film paints an attractive, Spielbergian picture of all-American 1970s domestic clutter, combined with a Scorsese-ish vision of countless talkative relatives bustling between the kitchen and the dinner table. The young J.R. is delighted to be surrounded by so many people, because an aunt and a gaggle of cousins are staying in the house, too. And then … they aren’t. Most of these relatives disappear immediately afterwards, never to be mentioned again, which is unforgivably careless in a film so concerned with family.

Still, the characters who do stay in J.R.’s orbit don’t fare much better. None of them change or deepen. The person we get to know in their first couple of scenes is all they are going to be for the rest of this breezy film. For instance, J.R.’s granddad (Christopher Lloyd) is a grouchy old codger who farts a lot, but smartens up in order to accompany J.R. to his school’s father-son breakfast. But that’s all he is. Sidney (Briana Middleton), J.R.’s on-off girlfriend at Yale, has the narrative purpose of being in a different social class from him, and therefore unwilling to take him seriously as a boyfriend — but she doesn’t have any dreams of her own. (You might think that her being the mixed-race daughter of moneyed Connecticut architects might have excited the odd comment at Yale in the 1980s, but no.) I haven’t read Moehringer’s memoir, so I can’t say whether the writer’s own reminiscences were so superficial, but Clooney and Monahan skip across the surface of events, so it feels as if every actor has been under-used.

This is especially true of the two formative male influences on J.R., one present and one absent. The present one is Uncle Charlie, played by Affleck at his most relaxed and appealing. First glimpsed playing baseball in the sunshine, Charlie has the shaggy 1970s quiff and sideburns of a brunette Robert Redford, and the low, velvety tones of a certain Mr G. Clooney. Handing out cash, cars, and “Man Sciences” advice with the same ready generosity, he is nothing but affectionate and supportive toward his nephew — and the same goes for the interchangeable patrons of his bar, who never swear and always offer to buy him a drink. “When you’re 11 years old,” says J.R. in his narration, “you need an Uncle Charlie.” Yes indeed. But what does Uncle Charlie need?

Maybe the real Charlie was as easy-going and affable as the Affleck incarnation. But you have to wonder: if he was so ideal as a father figure, why didn’t he have any children of his own, or even a long-term relationship? If he was so well-read, didn’t he ever want to do something more with all that knowledge? “The Tender Bar” doesn’t say. Dorothy cracks that her brother is a “gambler,” and that’s why he runs a bar and lives in his father’s house, but the idea that Charlie might have gambled away the chance of a different life isn’t explored. By the same token, his drinking, and that of the Dickens barflies, is neither devilishly tempting or horribly off-putting. There is so little in the way of smoky, dissolute atmosphere that they might as well be sipping cappuccinos in Central Perk. Charlie himself is lean and clear-skinned, and his hangovers are played for laughs. Given how public Affleck’s own battles with alcoholism have been, it’s amazing to see regular boozing being shrugged off so blithely here.

Aside from Charlie, the man who looms over J.R’s life is the father who walked out on him when he was a baby. He is first heard as a voice on the phone, and seen from behind, but the briefly teased mystery of his identity is dissipated by having him turn up at his ex’s house a few minutes later. As played by Max Martini (who has the perfect name for the job), he appears at first to be cut from the same cloth as Charlie: he is a laidback dude who smokes, drives a cool car, and dispenses dubious relationship wisdom. But he is soon revealed to be a hard-drinking, violent asshole who doesn’t care about anyone except himself. Much later in the film, J.R. visits him in North Carolina for the showdown which will mark his transition to adulthood. And what do we learn? He is, yes, a hard-drinking, violent asshole who doesn’t care about anyone except himself, just as he was all those years ago.

We know that the abandonment had a significant effect on J.R. because he keeps saying so, both in his narration and in person to other characters. But the film never shows us what that effect might be. Both as a boy in the 1970s and a young man in the 1980s, he seems boringly well adjusted, with no more angst than any aspiring writer. Yes, he can be unsure of himself, but that doesn’t stop him pursuing Sidney, or going straight from Yale to a job at the New York Times — where, of course, his articles are “terrific” and “outstanding.” This relentlessly mellow mood may make for an agreeable comfort-watch, but terrific and outstanding it isn’t.

“The Tender Bar” premiered at the 2021 London International Film Festival. Amazon Studios will release it on December 17.

Most Popular

You may also like.

site categories

Russell crowe’s horror thriller ‘the exorcism’ trailer arrives, ‘the tender bar’ london film festival review: ben affleck and george clooney team for a warm and memorable story all about family.

By Pete Hammond

Pete Hammond

Awards Columnist/Chief Film Critic

More Stories By Pete

• Nathan Lane, George Takei, ‘Fellow Travelers’ & ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Among Honorees For Inaugural Critics Choice Celebration Of LGBTQ+ Cinema & Television
• ‘Abigail’ Review: Melissa Barrera And Dan Stevens Battle Dracula’s Child In Cheeky Vampire Flick
• From CinemaCon To Cannes: Has The New Oscar Season Rung Its First Bell?

As a director, George Clooney ‘s filmography has veered through different genres (most recently from the frigid edges of earth into outer space in the big-scale epic The Midnight Sky). But I don’t think he has ever hit us directly in the heart quite the way his latest,  The Tender Bar , does.

The only special effect used in this exceptional and universally recognizable story is simply family. It is what they call in the trade a “feel good” movie, and boy, do we need it now. It should be no surprise that it all comes from real life, specifically a coming-of-age 2005 memoir written by, and about, Pulitizer Prize-winning author J.R. Moehringer and his life shaped by his time growing up in Manhasset, Long Island, specifically the local bar, Dickens, run by his Uncle Charlie. It is really where his education and life lessons from boy to young man were shaped, and it was in this hometown that he finds his answer to true happiness was all along.

Related Stories

London Film Festival Review: Disney's 'Ron's Gone Wrong'

2024 Premiere Dates For New & Returning Series On Broadcast, Cable & Streaming

Clooney whimsically describes it all as a bit of  The Wizard of Oz, the comparison being the realization that the mythical key to life that we search for is right there at home the whole time. With a literate and loving screenplay adaptation from William Monahan (Oscar winner for The Departed), this could also be called a true father(s) and son tale: the story of J.R., a young boy whose birth father abandoned his family early on, leaving him to find that much-needed relationship with his grandpa, the men who daily inhabited Dickens, and most notably, Uncle Charlie. The latter is portrayed beautifully and knowingly by Ben Affleck in his best screen performance, a part he was born to play of a self-educated man, lover of books, and possessor of innate knowledge and wisdom he is determined to pass on to his nephew.

The themes of class, family, and self-discovery permeate The Tender Bar, which, I think, represents Clooney’s most accomplished, if unassuming, work behind the camera since his multi-Oscar-nominated Good Night, And Good Luck. 

Clearly, the center of the story is J.R., and the role is shared by irresistible  newcomer Daniel Ranieri (discovered in pure Hollywood fashion from a viral rant about the pandemic that landed him a guest spot with Jimmy Kimmel) as the 9-year-old version, and later by a terrific Tye Sheridan as the older teen who, against all odds, gets accepted by Yale and experiences a whole new world on a path that will eventually turn him into the writer of his dreams.

With his father (Max Martini), a radio personality known as The Voice, basically someone never talked about by family, J.R. searches for the man he thought he might be but sadly finds a person with a dark side who was incapable of giving his son the love and guidance he needed. He only got that by spending afternoons at his Uncle’s bar, or the family home owned by Grandpa ( Christopher Lloyd in a small but rich turn), where he also lives with his supportive mother Dorothy (a luminous Lily Rabe ) whose only dream is a seemingly impossible one of seeing her son get into an Ivy League school. It is all simply the stuff of life as J.R. rolls around town with Charlie in his Uncle’s signature dream convertible, or soaks in knowledge from the unlikely customers of that tender  bar.

The film’s second half focuses on J.R.’s emergence into a completely different class as a student at Yale, getting the 411 from his roommates Wisley (Rhenzy Feliz) and Jimmy (Ivan Leung), and pure frustration from a classmate Sidney (promising newcomer Briana Middleton) who comes from a wealthy Connecticut family but sends confusing signals about their on- and-off romantic relationship. His eventual internship at the New York Times is also nicely etched here, as we see the seeds of the writer J.R. is to become.

This is a pure story focused on human beings, and thus not one you see coming from the studios these days. But it is the kind of film Hollywood used to turn out regularly, when they believed audiences were interested in seeing the lives of actual people like them played out in movie theatres.

It is fortunate Amazon is giving it a theatrical run in December before its January streaming premiere, so the lucky ones among us might have the collective experience of sharing it together. This is the kind of movie I remember seeing as a kid, and, in fact, it reminded me of a film humanist director Frank Capra might have made, something like A Hole in the Head, centered on the relationship of a spirited boy and his down-on-his-luck father (Frank Sinatra) and extended family in a Miami hotel.

I am certain Capra would still gravitate to stories like The Tender Bar,  and it is nice that Clooney has done that as well. It is a movie that draws laughs and tears, a heart-warmer with a simple premise: family is everything. The only drawback is, due to language and some tasteful sexual scenes no doubt (plus the MPA’s dumb guidelines) it is rated ‘R,’ but I urge families to see it together. Look, it isn’t Paw Patrol, but kids the age of both actors who play J.R. can handle it.

Affleck has lead billing, but it is really a strong supporting role to the combined turn of Ranieri and Sheridan as J.R. What Affleck does with it just reinforces, after last year’s alcoholic college basketball coach in The Way Back, that he is capable of so much more than many of his higher-profile film roles that didn’t show his range.

As a bar owner with keen intellect, Affleck traverses some choice dialogue and monologues to deliver an unforgettable portrait of the uncle you wish you  had. Max Casella, Michael Braun and Matthew Delamater are wonderful as the bar regulars who dispense life advice to J.R. Martini is imposing as the unlikeable father, and a special shout-out to the inimitable Sondra James, who died last month. She manages to steal her all-too-few moments as grandma with the skill she always showed in a long and fruitful acting career. Clooney’s choice of songs on the soundtrack also deserves star billing.

It is heartening to see a growing number of films this season that put the focus squarely on family in ways designed to give us real live breathing people in which to relate on screen, fine movies like CODA, Ken Branagh’s Belfast,  and now  The Tender Bar. 

It may be the effect of being so disconnected to our own shared humanity by the pandemic, but it is a welcome trend and one I hope that results in more movies like them.

Clooney produced The Tender Bar with Grant Heslov and Ted Hope. Amazon will release it n theaters in New York and Los Angeles on December 17, nationwide December 22. then globally on Amazon Prime Video on January 7. It followed a special tastemaker screening in Los Angeles last Sunday with its official world premiere tonight at the London Film Festival.

Must Read Stories

Skydance still in pole position for paramount; sony & apollo waiting in wings.

Adam Scott To Direct K. Brown, Beetz, Daddario; Chris Pratt Pic; More

Bollywood’s relationship with narendra modi’s bjp in spotlight, new line in lead for josh gad’s chris farley pic starring paul walter hauser.

Subscribe to Deadline Breaking News Alerts and keep your inbox happy.

Read More About:

Deadline is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2024 Deadline Hollywood, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

• International edition
• Australia edition
• Europe edition

The best recent crime and thrillers – review roundup

The Spy by Ajay Chowdhury; A Beginner’s Guide to Breaking and Entering by Andrew Hunter Murray; The Kitchen by Simone Buchholz; The Innocents by Bridget Walsh; The Grand Illusion by Syd Moore

The Spy by Ajay Chowdhury ( Harvill Secker , £18.99 ) The fourth novel in Chowdhury’s series sees the former Kolkata policeman turned Met officer Kamil Rahman recruited by MI5 to foil a terrorist plot that’s being hatched in an east London mosque. His attempts to win the trust of the plotters take him to the heart of the Kashmir conflict, an appalling hell-brew of nationalism, personal greed, brutality and suffering. Meanwhile, Brick Lane restaurateur Anjoli, his old friend and sometime employer, also finds herself in danger when she helps family friends investigate the kidnap of their teenage son, who manages to convey clues to his whereabouts by messages referencing the Harry Potter books (readers may realise this rather sooner than Anjoli does, but there’s plenty of exciting distraction while waiting for her to cop on). The plot races to a splendidly dramatic ending; Chowdhury’s writing is compelling and compassionate, especially on the themes of displacement, and divided loyalties personal and political.

A Beginner’s Guide to Breaking and Entering by Andrew Hunter Murray ( Hutchinson Heinemann, £18.99 ) Al has found his own solution to the high cost of renting. It’s an unofficial form of house-sitting: breaking, entering and squatting luxury properties while their rich owners are away. Al calls himself an “interloper”, and prides himself on his skill and methodology. However, he is writing his story on a prison computer, so we know, from the off, that things haven’t gone exactly to plan. A series of unexpected developments results in his reluctantly teaming up with three other interlopers, then turning detective when the group become suspects in the murder of one of the house-owners. The hit-and-miss observational comedy could do with a trim, but a propulsive plot, an ingenious narrator and lashings of intrigue make this a genuine and thoroughly enjoyable page-turner.

The Kitchen by Simone Buchholz , translated by Rachel Ward ( Orenda, £9.99 ) The seventh book in award-winning German author Buchholz’s excellent Hamburg-based Chastity Riley series has the public prosecutor investigating a series of neatly parcelled male body parts discovered in the River Elbe. The murdered men, all of whom are known abusers of women, can’t be said to be a great loss to the world, but nevertheless, Chastity must do her job. Meanwhile, her best friend Carla has been raped by two men in the basement of the cafe she owns, and the police are showing very little enthusiasm for tracking down the perpetrators. At what point does one decide that enough is enough and take matters into one’s own hands? Beautifully concise, with commendably sparse prose, dark humour and an appealing protagonist, this in an uncompromising, provocative and righteously fierce examination of the ways in which law and society repeatedly fail 50% of the population.

The Innocents by Bridget Walsh ( Gallic , £12.99 ) Like its predecessor, The Tumbling Girl , which introduced writer-turned-investigator Minnie Ward and her partner in crime-solving, former policeman Albert Easterbrook, Walsh’s second novel is set in late 19th-century London theatreland. Albert continues to solve crime, while Minnie has turned her attention to saving the financially beleaguered Variety Palace music hall. But then the proprietor’s pet monkey goes missing, and a series of apparently unconnected deaths turn out to be linked to a tragedy 14 years earlier, when an audience stampede during a pantomime resulted in the suffocation of 183 children. Walsh, who clearly knows her Victorians, writes with gusto. Whether she’s detailing the sweat, greasepaint and trickery behind theatrical illusion, the bloody savagery of the dog-fighting pit, or the creepily anthropomorphic world of the taxidermy diorama, time past is so vividly evoked that one can almost smell it. Highly recommended.

The Grand Illusion by Syd Moore (Magpie, £16.99) There’s more sleight of hand and derring-do on show in Syd Moore’s latest, which is set in the summer of 1940, when Britain was preparing to repel the Nazi invading force. It’s based, at least in part, on real events. Magician’s assistant Daphne Devine and her boss Jonty Trevelyan, AKA the Grand Mystique, are co-opted by MI5 to work with a group drawn from the worlds of theatre, fashion, zoology and the circus. Their brief is to exploit the German High Command’s belief in the occult by creating a plausible and spectacular magic ritual, which will be reported back to Hitler as proof that Britain is able to harness supernatural forces. Although the wandering point of view is slightly disconcerting, this is a well-researched, vivid and thoroughly entertaining Girl’s Own adventure, with a brave and resourceful heroine who acquits herself well against both the enemy and the endless macro-aggressions from entitled men on her own side. More, please.

• Crime fiction
• Crime and thrillers roundup

Most viewed

• Member Login
• Library Patron Login

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR

FREE NEWSLETTERS

Search: Title Author Article Search String:

Reviews of The Tender Bar by J.R. Moehringer

Summary | Excerpt | Reading Guide | Reviews | Beyond the book | Read-Alikes | Genres & Themes | Author Bio

The Tender Bar

by J.R. Moehringer

Critics' Opinion:

Readers' Opinion:

• Biography & Memoir
• Mid-Atlantic, USA
• New York State
• 1960s & '70s
• Coming of Age

Rate this book

About this Book

• Reading Guide

Book Summary

In the grand tradition of landmark memoirs - a classic American story of self-invention and escape, of the fierce love between a single mother and an only son, it's also a moving portrait of one boy's struggle to become a man, and an unforgettable depiction of how men remain, at heart, lost boys.

J.R. Moehringer grew up captivated by a voice. It was the voice of his father, a New York City disc jockey who vanished before J.R. spoke his first word. Sitting on the stoop, pressing an ear to the radio, J.R. would strain to hear in that plummy baritone the secrets of masculinity and identity. Though J.R.'s mother was his world, his rock, he craved something more, something faintly and hauntingly audible only in The Voice. At eight years old, suddenly unable to find The Voice on the radio, J.R. turned in desperation to the bar on the corner, where he found a rousing chorus of new voices. Cops and poets, bookies and soldiers, movie stars and stumblebums, all sorts of men gathered in the bar to tell their stories and forget their cares. The alphas along the bar—including J.R.'s Uncle Charlie, a Humphrey Bogart look-alike; Colt, a Yogi Bear sound-alike; and Joey D, a softhearted brawler—took J.R. to the beach, to ballgames, and ultimately into their circle. They taught J.R., tended him, and provided a kind of fatherhood-by-committee. Torn between the stirring example of his mother and the lurid romance of the bar, J.R. tried to forge a self somewhere in the center. But when it was time for J.R. to leave home, the bar became an increasingly seductive sanctuary, a place to return and regroup during his picaresque journeys—from his grandfather's tumbledown house to the hallowed towers and spires of Yale; from his absurd stint selling housewares at Lord & Taylor to his dream job at the New York Times, which became a nightmare when he found himself a faulty cog in a vast machine. Time and again the bar offered shelter from failure, rejection, heartbreak--and eventually from reality. In the grand tradition of landmark memoirs, The Tender Bar is suspenseful, wrenching, and achingly funny. A classic American story of self-invention and escape, of the fierce love between a single mother and an only son, it's also a moving portrait of one boy's struggle to become a man, and an unforgettable depiction of how men remain, at heart, lost boys.

Where no sea runs, the waters of the heart Push in their tides -Dylan Thomas, "Light breaks where no sun shines"

Prologue    ONE OF MANY

We went there for everything we needed. we went there when thirsty, of course, and when hungry, and when dead tired. We went there when happy, to celebrate, and when sad, to sulk. We went there after weddings and funerals, for something to settle our nerves, and always for a shot of courage just before. We went there when we didn't know what we needed, hoping someone might tell us. We went there when looking for love, or sex, or trouble, or for someone who had gone missing, because sooner or later everyone turned up there. Most of all we went there when we needed to be found. My personal list of needs was long. An only child, abandoned by my father, I needed a family, a home, and men. Especially men. I needed men as mentors, heroes, role models, and as a kind of masculine counterweight to...

Please be aware that this discussion guide will contain spoilers!

• In the memoir, JR has a difficult childhood and family circumstances in many respects, but there are also many positive elements to his childhood, including a loving mother and grandmother. Compare Moehringer's portrait of childhood to other memoirs you've read.
• There are various portrayals of "good" and "bad" men in the memoir. What are the different definitions of goodness in men?
• Alcohol permeates the memoir. In what ways is it both a positive and a negative factor in the lives of the various characters?
• JR's mother is deeply conflicted about her living circumstances. Do you think her experiences are representative of the struggles of many single mothers? Do you ...
• "Beyond the Book" articles
• Free books to read and review (US only)
• Find books by time period, setting & theme
• Read-alike suggestions by book and author
• Book club discussions
• and much more!
• Just $45 for 12 months or $15 for 3 months.
• More about membership!

Media Reviews

Reader reviews, bookbrowse review.

The Tender Bar is a truly gorgeous book in the tradition of classic coming of age memoirs such as Angela's Ashes and All Over But The Shoutin' .  If you're thinking that you can't see the attraction in reading about a boy 'brought up' in a bar listen to what some of the booksellers who received preview copies say, and then read the pre-publication media reviews at BookBrowse (which include three 'starred reviews'). .. continued

Full Review (459 words) This review is available to non-members for a limited time. For full access, become a member today .

(Reviewed by BookBrowse Review Team ).

Write your own review!

Beyond the Book

J.R. Moehringer (pronounced Morier), winner of the Pulitzer Prize for feature writing in 2000 , is a national correspondent for the Los Angeles Times and a former Niemann Fellow at Harvard University. He lives in Denver, Colorado. Almost 50 Manhasset residents were killed in the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. One was a Dickens bartender, another was a cousin of  Moehringer.  As the reviewer for Publishers Weekly so aptly put it, "Moehringer's ...

This "beyond the book" feature is available to non-members for a limited time. Join today for full access.

Read-Alikes

• Genres & Themes

If you liked The Tender Bar, try these:

Sunny's Nights

by Tim Sultan

Published 2018

About this book

Imagine that Alice had walked into a bar instead of falling down the rabbit hole. In the tradition of J. R. Moehringer's The Tender Bar and the classic reportage of Joseph Mitchell, here is an indelible portrait of what is quite possibly the greatest bar in the world—and the mercurial, magnificent man behind it.

Take This Man

by Brando Skyhorse

Published 2015

More by this author

From PEN/Hemingway award winner Brando Skyhorse comes this stunning, heartfelt memoir in the vein of The Glass Castle or The Tender Bar , the true story of a boy's turbulent childhood growing up with five stepfathers and the mother who was determined to give her son everything but the truth.

Books with similar themes

Support bookbrowse.

Join our inner reading circle, go ad-free and get way more!

Find out more

BookBrowse Book Club

Members Recommend

The Flower Sisters by Michelle Collins Anderson

From the new Fannie Flagg of the Ozarks, a richly-woven story of family, forgiveness, and reinvention.

The House on Biscayne Bay by Chanel Cleeton

As death stalks a gothic mansion in Miami, the lives of two women intertwine as the past and present collide.

Win This Book

The Funeral Cryer by Wenyan Lu

Debut novelist Wenyan Lu brings us this witty yet profound story about one woman's midlife reawakening in contemporary rural China.

Solve this clue:

and be entered to win..

Your guide to exceptional           books

BookBrowse seeks out and recommends the best in contemporary fiction and nonfiction—books that not only engage and entertain but also deepen our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

Subscribe to receive some of our best reviews, "beyond the book" articles, book club info and giveaways by email.

Common Sense Media

Movie & TV reviews for parents

• For Parents
• For Educators
• Our Work and Impact

Or browse by category:

• Get the app
• Movie Reviews
• Best Movie Lists
• Best Movies on Netflix, Disney+, and More

Common Sense Selections for Movies

50 Modern Movies All Kids Should Watch Before They're 12

• Best TV Lists
• Best TV Shows on Netflix, Disney+, and More
• Common Sense Selections for TV
• Video Reviews of TV Shows

Best Kids' Shows on Disney+

Best Kids' TV Shows on Netflix

• Book Reviews
• Best Book Lists
• Common Sense Selections for Books

8 Tips for Getting Kids Hooked on Books

50 Books All Kids Should Read Before They're 12

• Game Reviews
• Best Game Lists

Common Sense Selections for Games

• Video Reviews of Games

Nintendo Switch Games for Family Fun

• Podcast Reviews
• Best Podcast Lists

Common Sense Selections for Podcasts

Parents' Guide to Podcasts

• App Reviews
• Best App Lists

Social Networking for Teens

Gun-Free Action Game Apps

Reviews for AI Apps and Tools

• YouTube Channel Reviews
• YouTube Kids Channels by Topic

Parents' Ultimate Guide to YouTube Kids

YouTube Kids Channels for Gamers

• Preschoolers (2-4)
• Little Kids (5-7)
• Big Kids (8-9)
• Pre-Teens (10-12)
• Teens (13+)
• Screen Time
• Social Media
• Online Safety
• Identity and Community

Explaining the News to Our Kids

• Family Tech Planners
• Digital Skills
• All Articles
• Latino Culture
• Black Voices
• Asian Stories
• Native Narratives
• LGBTQ+ Pride
• Best of Diverse Representation List

Celebrating Black History Month

Movies and TV Shows with Arab Leads

Celebrate Hip-Hop's 50th Anniversary

The tender bar, common sense media reviewers.

Poignant coming-of-age dramedy has language, sex.

A Lot or a Little?

What you will—and won't—find in this movie.

You are enough to succeed. Themes of family, ident

Uncle Charlie is JR's male role model. He's rough

Main characters are part of a White working class

Fistfight. Domestic violence off camera.

Loud but not graphic sex scene. Recurring joke abo

Very strong language throughout, including name-ca

Cars are seen through the male gaze: A Toronado an

Smoking and drinking, including by an preteen boy.

Parents need to know that The Tender Bar is director George Clooney's book-based coming-of-age dramedy about a preteen boy growing up in the shadow of his irresponsible father in the 1970s. Spending his days at a bar in Long Island, JR (Daniel Ranieri) gets life lessons in the "man sciences" ("take care of…

Positive Messages

You are enough to succeed. Themes of family, identity, and finding your own way in the world. Uncle Charlie spouts off lots of advice (presented as "man sciences"); families can discuss the validity of his lessons -- and the idea that his advice represents a dated view of masculinity. Stereotypical romantic plot involves a boy pursuing a girl and her playing hard to get (which could reinforce iffy relationship dynamics).

Positive Role Models

Uncle Charlie is JR's male role model. He's rough around the edges but smart, well-read, and a leader; his delivery isn't always the most appropriate for kids, but he deeply loves and looks out for his nephew and doles out pointed advice to help JR become a successful adult. JR's family bickers, and JR's grandfather is a curmudgeon, but their tight-knit nature is enviable -- something that JR appreciates more than they do.

Diverse Representations

Main characters are part of a White working class family whose patriarch attended a prestigious university; the idea of a college education is valued, but characters without one are still portrayed as worthy. Actors of color in many supporting roles, including students and professors at an Ivy League college, JR's love interest, and a kind cop. Financially successful interracial couple.

Did we miss something on diversity? Suggest an update.

Violence & Scariness

Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Violence & Scariness in your kid's entertainment guide.

Sex, Romance & Nudity

Loud but not graphic sex scene. Recurring joke about having sex.

Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Sex, Romance & Nudity in your kid's entertainment guide.

Very strong language throughout, including name-calling: "a--hole," "balls," "bastard," "bulls--t," "c--k," "d--k," "hell," "numnuts," "poontang," "pr--k," "s--t," "son of a bitch," "turd," and many uses of "f--k." Exclamations include "G-damn," "oh my God," "swear to God," "Jesus Christ" and "Jesus Mother of God."

Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Language in your kid's entertainment guide.

Products & Purchases

Cars are seen through the male gaze: A Toronado and a Volvo, in particular, are idolized for different reasons.

Drinking, Drugs & Smoking

Smoking and drinking, including by an preteen boy. Many scenes in Uncle Charlie's bar. Drinking is depicted as something "a man" does but also needs to keep an eye on. Reference to a hangover. It's implied that drinking has negatively influenced the life of a character with an alochol dependency and those around him.

Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Drinking, Drugs & Smoking in your kid's entertainment guide.

Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that The Tender Bar is director George Clooney 's book-based coming-of-age dramedy about a preteen boy growing up in the shadow of his irresponsible father in the 1970s. Spending his days at a bar in Long Island, JR (Daniel Ranieri) gets life lessons in the "man sciences" ("take care of your mother," "have a car," etc.) from the proprietor, his Uncle Charlie ( Ben Affleck ). Charlie's advice is rooted in dated views of masculinity, but his lessons are ultimately about being responsible. Not surprisingly given the setting and time period, characters smoke and drink throughout, including JR. Positive themes relate to the importance of family and the value of a college education. Strong language permeates the film (especially "f--k"), including lots of name calling ("a--hole," "pr--k") and some crude references from a negative character ("poon---g"). There's a comically loud but non-graphic sex scene and an instance of domestic violence. To stay in the loop on more movies like this, you can sign up for weekly Family Movie Night emails .

Where to Watch

Videos and photos.

Community Reviews

• Parents say (2)
• Kids say (1)

Based on 2 parent reviews

SLOW AND POINTLESS

Watch something else, what's the story.

Adapted from J.R. Moehringer's memoir, THE TENDER BAR follows JR (Daniel Ranieri), an 11-year-old boy whose divorced single mom ( Lily Rabe ) has fallen on hard economic times and moved back in with her family in Long Island. With JR's irresponsible father rarely in the picture, JR's Uncle Charlie ( Ben Affleck ) takes the boy under his wing and teaches him how to navigate life as a man.

Is It Any Good?

This poignant coming-of-age story shows that life is a cocktail of lessons that, when stirred, helps you grow up right. Advice pours faster than the drinks at Uncle Charlie's bar, and, just like a shot of aged barrel whiskey, some of that advice goes down a little rough, but the overall takeaway is smooth. JR's influences come from the many people he encounters: A priest (Billy Meleady) he meets on a train, the regulars who frequent Charlie's bar, his put-upon grandfather ( Christopher Lloyd ), his handwringing mother (Rabe), his Yale roommate ( Rhenzy Feliz ), and, of course, his revered Uncle Charlie (Affleck, in a career-defining role). JR is also shaped by behaviors, trying to figure out who he is since his family makes it clear that he shouldn't follow in the footsteps of the man he's named after: his largely absent father ( Max Martini ).

As much as the advice dispensed in the movie is directed at a preteen boy, the messages are intended to reach adults, too. JR says, "When you're 11 years old, you want an Uncle Charlie." As we only see JR's memories from his own perspective, Charlie is essentially God. In JR's 11-year-old eyes, Charlie is the epitome of cool: He speaks about life with authority, drives a muscle car, does well with the ladies, leads his barside community, and dominates in a game of duckpins. But director George Clooney leaves breadcrumbs for viewers to realize that Charlie doesn't quite have it as together as JR believes. The Tender Bar is meant to be a like a night out: You sip the experience, you yammer about it, and you're left with great memories to reflect on later.

Talk to Your Kids About ...

Families can talk about the value and importance of having a role model or mentor. Do you have anyone in your life who fulfills that purpose?

Discuss Uncle Charlie's advice: What's good, what's not, and what could use a little tweaking? How does it reflect a dated/incomplete view of masculinity? Parents, what's the best life advice you ever received? Kids, what's something you were told, read, or saw in a movie that has stuck with you?

What makes a film fit into the coming-of-age genre? How does The Tender Bar compare to other coming-of-age films you've seen?

How does JR demonstrate humility ? How can we be humble while also projecting confidence? Why is this an important character strength?

Are smoking and drinking glamorized in the film? Do you think Charlie influences JR's drinking and smoking?

Movie Details

• In theaters : December 17, 2021
• On DVD or streaming : January 7, 2022
• Cast : Ben Affleck , Tye Sheridan , Christopher Lloyd
• Director : George Clooney
• Studio : Amazon Studios
• Genre : Drama
• Topics : Cars and Trucks , Book Characters , Brothers and Sisters , Great Boy Role Models
• Character Strengths : Communication
• Run time : 104 minutes
• MPAA rating : R
• MPAA explanation : language throughout and some sexual content
• Last updated : February 29, 2024

Did we miss something on diversity?

Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive portrayals in media. That's why we've added a new "Diverse Representations" section to our reviews that will be rolling out on an ongoing basis. You can help us help kids by suggesting a diversity update.

Suggest an Update

Our editors recommend.

About a Boy

St. Vincent

Hope and Glory

Coming-of-age movies, coming-of-age books, related topics.

• Communication
• Cars and Trucks
• Book Characters
• Brothers and Sisters
• Great Boy Role Models

Want suggestions based on your streaming services? Get personalized recommendations

Common Sense Media's unbiased ratings are created by expert reviewers and aren't influenced by the product's creators or by any of our funders, affiliates, or partners.

• Search Please fill out this field.
• Newsletters
• Sweepstakes
• Movie Reviews

The Tender Bar review: It takes a watering hole to raise a writer

Director George Clooney's coming-of-age drama is conventional but Ben Affleck shines on the sidelines.

Senior Editor, Movies

Ben Affleck is just the right amount of relaxed in The Tender Bar , a big deal for him, like watching a unicorn trot into the room. Over the years, he's been a Batman who was too dour, a rom-com lead who was too uptight, or a savior of the world in movies like Armageddon and The Sum of All Fears for which he was too glib. Meanwhile, the looming distraction of his private life (so many furious-looking Starbucks runs) didn't help.

But in director George Clooney's easygoing drama, based on J. R. Moehringer's 2005 memoir about becoming a journalist (he'd eventually win a Pulitzer for it), Affleck is just a guy who owns a bar. It's the early 1970s on Long Island, which means being cool meant tooling around in a Cadillac convertible. Affleck's Uncle Charlie definitely does that; mainly, though, he's content to stand behind the handsome wooden bar of his Manhasset joint, the Dickens, kibbitzing with customers: an affable, beer-slinging anchor amid pinwheeling lives.

As you can probably guess, any character called Uncle Charlie isn't going to be the main one. That's a shame in this case: The Tender Bar concerns itself with the trajectory of young J.R., first as a lonely 11-year-old (Daniel Ranieri) relocating with his broke, divorced mom (Lily Rabe) to her family home, then as a collegian and young man ( Tye Sheridan ) making his way in the wilds of professional writing. The beards and sweaters change over the years but the path will be familiar to anyone who's seen Almost Famous and recalls Philip Seymour Hoffman's cranky, avuncular Lester Bangs, a mentor who's immediately more captivating than anyone else on screen.

You can learn a lot in a bar, especially if you commit to being an observer. When The Tender Bar is content to be that movie, it glints beautifully. The walls are booklined: Charlie is no lunkhead but an avid reader. He's got pearls of wisdom small and large for J.D. — an informal education in the "male sciences," he calls it — and Affleck is so loosely charming, you sense J.D. is gaining something more than life lessons, but an awareness of how precious it is to have a true character in your life, an oddball who takes an interest in you. These scenes are infinitely better than the climactic ones, bland and long telegraphed: encounters with a girlfriend's snobby parents, or the re-emergence of the film's one bad guy, true to form.

Clooney, a steady hand, should have called for a script polish. (The adapting screenwriter, The Departed 's William Monahan, is best during his one-on-ones.) Affleck and Clooney make sense as collaborators; both of them became directors to get out of the way of their public images. Hopefully, the next time they decide to work together, they'll lean even further into the intimacies of a setting like the Dickens, a universe unto itself. B-

Related content:

• Watch Ben Affleck serve drinks and life lessons in George Clooney-directed The Tender Bar
• Oscars heat index: Ben Affleck takes a shot at Best Supporting Actor in The Tender Bar
• Duel Perspectives: How Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Nicole Holofcener teamed up for The Last Duel
• Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Nicole Holofcener break down a key The Last Duel scene

Related Articles

The Tender Bar

J. R. Moehringer | 4.23 | 29,237 ratings and reviews

Ranked #38 in Alcohol

Reviews and Recommendations

We've comprehensively compiled reviews of The Tender Bar from the world's leading experts.

Cantor Fitzgerald It's an uplifting story in a place and manor you'd never expect. (Source)

Similar Books

If you like The Tender Bar, check out these similar top-rated books:

Learn: What makes Shortform summaries the best in the world?

• Annual Fund
• Become a Monthly Donor

33 Summer St

Bath, ME 04530

p (207) 443-5141

f (207) 443-3514

• Hours & Holidays
• How We Are Funded
• History of the Patten Free Library
• Corporators
• Annual Report
• Mission & Vision
• Policies & Bylaws
• Web Calendar
• Printable PDF
• Book-a-Librarian
• Computers and Internet Access
• Curbside Pick-Up
• Homebound Delivery Service
• Local Authors
• Museum and Park Passes
• Unusual Things to Borrow
• Ancestry Library
• Bath Daily Times Community History Archive
• cloudLibrary (eBooks and eAudiobooks)
• City of Ships Podcast
• Comics Plus
• Digital Maine Library (eLearning)
• Flipster (magazines)
• Kanopy (movies)
• National Digital Equity Center
• NewspaperArchive (in-library use)
• NewspaperArchive (remote access)
• Program Recordings
• History Room
• Monthly Giving
• Bath Daily Times
• Business Supporters
• Legacy Gifts
• John Patten Society
• About the Friends
• the library bookstore
• Spelling Bee
• Book A Space

Book Review: “The Tender Bar” by J.R. Moehringer

This critically acclaimed memoir has been on my “to read” pile for years.  The recent news that George Clooney is directing an Oscar-bait adaptation starring Ben Affleck made me finally crack it open.  I devoured it, and I’m truly sad that I didn’t get to it earlier.

At its core, this is a story about a fatherless boy seeking something he feels he’s missing.  JR’s mother is an incredible advocate for her son.  As many such stories go, she works hard to give JR a good life. The bond between mother and son is beautiful.  The extended family with which they live is a vibrant cast of characters – some sane, some cruel, some strong, and some tragically flawed.  One summer, JR’s mom asks her brother, who tends bar at a popular watering hole, to keep an eye on her son.  What begins as a tag-along trip to the beach for a 12-year-old with his uncle’s friends morphs into evenings at the bar as everyone gets to work.  JR immediately connects with these men; they acknowledge him in a way that he craves.  His education at the edge of the tender bar shapes much of his life’s journey.

Any story that features a bar as a major character and role model is going to include some heartache.  JR’s maturation from tween to Ivy-League student to young professional is anchored at the bar.  His concept of manliness and self-worth is so tightly tied to the welcome he receives at the bar that it inevitably impacts relationships and professional prospects.  Yet JR’s story doesn’t moralize about the pitfalls of his lifestyle.  In this memoir, life experiences are formative without judgement. 

If you haven’t already caught this coming of age story, it’s a worthwhile read.  If you prefer to read the book before seeing the movie, check this one out.  I suspect we’ll be hearing more about this film in the near future.  Now’s your chance to be “in the know!”

Review by Development Director Emily Read.

Click here to request a copy.

News & Updates

Briefly Perfectly Human: Making an Authentic Life by Ge…

Wednesday, May 8 at 5 p.m. In person and live on Zoom…

Friday, May 10 at 5:30 p.m.

 Maine Maritime Mus…

As a sort of international sampler platter of contempor…

My absolute favorite collection of children’s nature po…

The Book Report Network

• Bookreporter
• ReadingGroupGuides
• AuthorsOnTheWeb

Sign up for our newsletters!

Find a Guide

For book groups, what's your book group reading this month, favorite monthly lists & picks, most requested guides of 2023, when no discussion guide available, starting a reading group, running a book group, choosing what to read, tips for book clubs, books about reading groups, coming soon, new in paperback, write to us, frequently asked questions.

• Request a Guide

Advertise with Us

Add your guide, you are here:, the tender bar: a memoir.

Take one part CHARMING BILLY, a dash of Frank McCourt, add a shot of "Cheers," serve straight up, and you'll have the charming concoction that is THE TENDER BAR. J.R. Moehringer fondly reflects on his youth, however misspent, within the cooling shadows of the town's local bar.

In Manhasset, the place to go was Dickens (later renamed Publicans) on Plandome Road. Like the pubs of old, it was the place to celebrate, commiserate and pontificate. Sooner or later, everyone wound up at its door, thanks largely to its kind and commanding owner, Steve. In the mid-seventies, J.R. Moehringer was an adolescent badly in need of a father figure. His dedicated mother worked as many as three jobs to keep them on their feet. His grandparents were concerned but somewhat distant; his grandfather was downright abusive to everyone except little J.R., who was so named after his father, a radio disc jockey who has little to do with his son. Moehringer listens to his late-night radio broadcasts and refers to him only as "The Voice," a far away, unknowable being who flits in and out of his young son's life only briefly.

When he and his mother move to Arizona for better prospects and to be near their cousins, he finds himself lonelier than ever. His mother decides to send him back to his grandparents in Manhasset for the summer, and soon he gets his first taste of life around the bar. His Uncle Charlie, at his mother's request, starts taking little J.R. with him on excursions to the beach and to ball games, all of which culminate with a visit to "the Bar."

Finally, he finds what he has been looking for --- a family, albeit an unconventional one. Who wouldn't want to glean all he can from guys named Bobo, Joey D. and Colt? At long last, Moehringer feels as if he belongs somewhere; rather than bemoan his absent father, he finds many other men --- and in essence, the bar itself --- who step into the role of father for him.

Poignant and heartfelt, with just the right amount of sentimentality, THE TENDER BAR is an absorbing read that goes down nice and easy. Moehringer skillfully recreates life at the local bar and the colorful characters inside as a sort of celebration, almost memorializing a part of American life that doesn't exist the way it used to --- a sort of modern-day A CLEAN, WELL-LIGHTED PLACE for the 20th/21st century, while also serving as a homage to the powerful love between a mother and son, struggling to get by but still managing to enjoy a "Happy Hour" now and then. 

Reviewed by Bronwyn Miller on January 23, 2011

The Tender Bar: A Memoir by J.R. Moehringer

• Publication Date: August 31, 2005
• Genres: Nonfiction
• Hardcover: 384 pages
• Publisher: Hyperion
• ISBN-10: 1401300642
• ISBN-13: 9781401300647

• How to Add a Guide
• Privacy Policy
• Cookie Policy
• Newsletters

Copyright © 2024 The Book Report, Inc. All Rights Reserved.