father absence essay

I planned on confronting my absent father about his parenting. But when I asked to hear his side, I learned a powerful lesson.

• My father was absent throughout most of my life, so I went to Ghana to confront him about it. 
• In Ghana, I learned about my father's past and understood his perspective for the first time. 
• Although we will never be close, the conversation healed our relationship and taught me empathy. 

A few years ago, I visited my father in Ghana and asked to hear his story about why he was an absent parent . This conversation helped me heal, forgive, and transform how I view disagreements today.

At the time, I had a lot of built-up resentment and anger toward my dad. In my mind, he stopped making a meaningful effort to see me or show up for me after he remarried. He and his new family lived in Kenya, Ethiopia, and Finland — while my mom, my brother, and I initially struggled with being unhoused and being on welfare here in the US.

I dealt with a lot of feelings of rejection , which I'd reflected on and worked through in therapy during my 20s. But in my 30s, it all came back, and I needed to deal with it head-on.

I decided to meet with my father to talk things through

There were times when I'd be driving, and I'd find myself weeping, questioning what I'd done to cause him not to fight for me. It was clear his rejection of me was still affecting the way I move about the world.

During a leadership training program, my cohort and I discussed our origins. I shared with the cohort that I had an upcoming trip to Ghana, and I had plans to confront my father.

Politely, a cohort member raised their hand. "Hey, what would it look like if you took a different approach?" he asked. "We all have empathy for each other because we know each other's stories."

I felt my heart rate quicken and my jaw clench in defensiveness. Despite my defensiveness, his words planted a seed that I brought up with my therapist. Together, my therapist and I started preparing for how I would turn my "confrontation" into a "conversation" with my father.

When the time came for my kids and me to travel to Ghana, I asked my father for one-on-one time and broached the topic.

"Hey, Dad, I never really heard your story. What was life like growing up for you, and what happened between us?"

Related stories

My father told me about his journey with his dad, his custody struggles , and the interpersonal conflicts between him and my mother. Eventually, he explained that he concluded: "Justin will come find me when he's ready."

I also asked my father to share his experiences growing up

My father grew up in Ghana, and his own father was only around a fraction of the time. My father also left his entire family for boarding school at 14 years old, and at 16, he left Ghana to come to the US.

Hearing this story, a lump formed in my throat as I felt — for the first time — empathy for my dad. I wonder how he felt as a little boy.

Fully immersing myself in my dad's story wasn't easy. It was challenging to remove my biased perspective of anger and distrust. I pushed myself to engage from a place of curiosity and ask him questions as if I was a student.

Hearing my dad's story helped me understand

At the end of our conversation, I told my father I disagreed with his approach but understood how he arrived at his conclusion. We hugged, and my father told me he was proud of me, which I never heard growing up.

This conversation did not transform us into a father-son duo holding hands and walking into the sunset. My dad's decision not to fight for a place in my life robbed both of us of father-son experiences that we can never get back.

However, this conversation gave me access to my heritage, Ghana, which I'd previously avoided. This allowed me to get involved in social entrepreneurial projects, like working with an elementary school and hiring and training Ghanaian staff members.

It also gave me access to an incredible mentor, my father . Previously, I avoided my dad. Now, I actively seek him out, particularly when I need feedback on a project.

Perhaps most importantly, this conversation taught me a profound lesson I now apply to every area of my life. I learned that when we do not seek to understand and respect the person we disagree with, it only hurts us.

That day, if I had chosen to confront my father from a place of vitriol and anger, his rejection would still haunt me, and I would have never learned the powerful lesson that every person has a story that shapes who they are today.

Justin Jones-Fosu's book, I Respectfully Disagree (releasing April 2024), challenges the reader to focus on building bridges with people rather than barriers from them. You can download an excerpt here . Justin is also a dad, the founder of Work.Meaningful where he serves as an international keynote speaker, a social entrepreneur, a critically acclaimed author, and a mountain climber.

Watch: I was assaulted by a Met Police officer at 14, I now train them. Here's how police racism works

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The Causal Effects of Father Absence

Sara mclanahan.

1 Office of Population Research, Princeton University, Princeton, New Jersey 08544; ude.notecnirp@ahanalcm

2 Department of Policy Analysis and Management, Cornell University, Ithaca, New York 14853; ude.llenroc@hcatarual

Daniel Schneider

3 Department of Sociology and Robert Wood Johnson Scholars in Health Policy Research Program, University of California, Berkeley, California 94720; ude.yelekreb@redienhcsjd

The literature on father absence is frequently criticized for its use of cross-sectional data and methods that fail to take account of possible omitted variable bias and reverse causality. We review studies that have responded to this critique by employing a variety of innovative research designs to identify the causal effect of father absence, including studies using lagged dependent variable models, growth curve models, individual fixed effects models, sibling fixed effects models, natural experiments, and propensity score matching models. Our assessment is that studies using more rigorous designs continue to find negative effects of father absence on offspring well-being, although the magnitude of these effects is smaller than what is found using traditional cross-sectional designs. The evidence is strongest and most consistent for outcomes such as high school graduation, children’s social-emotional adjustment, and adult mental health.

INTRODUCTION

A long tradition of sociological research has examined the effects of divorce and father absence on offspring’s economic and social-emotional well-being throughout the life course 1 Overall, this work has documented a negative association between living apart from a biological father and multiple domains of offspring well-being, including education, mental health, family relationships, and labor market outcomes. These findings are of interest to family sociologists and family demographers because of what they tell us about family structures and family processes; they are also of interest to scholars of inequality and mobility because of what they tell us about the intergenerational transmission of disadvantage.

The literature on father absence has been criticized for its use of cross-sectional data and methods that fail to account for reverse causality, for omitted variable bias, or for heterogeneity across time and subgroups. Indeed, some researchers have argued that the negative association between father absence and child well-being is due entirely to these factors. This critique is well founded because family disruption is not a random event and because the characteristics that cause father absence are likely to affect child well-being through other pathways. Similarly, parents’ expectations about how their children will respond to father absence may affect their decision to end their relationship. Finally, there is good evidence that father absence effects play out over time and differ across subgroups. Unless these factors are taken into account, the so-called effects of father absence identified in these studies are likely to be biased.

Researchers have responded to concerns about omitted variable bias and reverse causation by employing a variety of innovative research designs to identify the causal effect of father absence, including designs that use longitudinal data to examine child well-being before and after parents separate, designs that compare siblings who differ in their exposure to separation, designs that use natural experiments or instrumental variables to identify exogenous sources of variation in father absence, and designs that use matching techniques that compare families that are very similar except for father absence. In this article, we review the studies that use one or more of these designs. We limit ourselves to articles that have been published in peer-reviewed academic journals, but we impose no restrictions with regard to publication date (note that few articles were published before 2000) or with regard to the disciplinary affiliation of the journal. Although most articles make use of data from the United States, we also include work based on data from Great Britain, Canada, South Africa, Germany, Sweden, Australia, Indonesia, and Norway. Using these inclusion rules, we identified 47 articles that make use of one or more of these methods of causal inference to examine the effects of father absence on outcomes in one of four domains: educational attainment, mental health, relationship formation and stability, and labor force success.

In the next section, entitled “Strategies for Estimating Causal Effects with Observational Data,” we describe these strategies, their strengths and weaknesses, and how they have been applied to the study of father absence. In the section entitled “Evidence for the Causal Effect of Family Structure on Child Outcomes,” we examine the findings from these studies in each of the four domains of well-being. Our goal is to see if, on balance, these studies tell a consistent story about the causal effects of father absence and whether this story varies across different domains and across the particular methods of causal inference that are employed within each domain. We also note where the evidence base is large and where it is thin. We conclude by suggesting promising avenues for future research.

STRATEGIES FOR ESTIMATING CAUSAL EFFECTS WITH OBSERVATIONAL DATA

Identifying causal effects with observational data is a challenging endeavor for several reasons, including the threat of omitted variable bias, the fact that multiple---and often reciprocal---causal effects are at work, the fact that the causal treatment condition (such as divorce) may unfold over a period of time or there may be multiple treatment conditions, and the fact that the effects of the treatment may change over time and across subgroups. Traditional approaches to estimating the effect of father absence on offspring well-being have relied primarily on ordinary least squares (OLS) or logistic regression models that treat offspring well-being as a function of father absence plus a set of control variables. These models are attractive because the data requirements are minimal (they can be estimated with cross-sectional data) and because they can accommodate complex specifications of the father absence effect, such as differences in the timing of father absence (early childhood versus adolescence), differences in postdivorce living arrangements (whether the mother lives alone or remarries), and differences by gender, race, and social class. Studies based on these models typically find that divorces that occur during early childhood and adolescence are associated with worse outcomes than divorces that occur during middle childhood, that remarriage has mixed effects on child outcomes, and that boys respond more negatively than girls for outcomes such as behavior problems (see, for example, Amato 2001 , Sigle-Rushton & McLanahan 2004 ).

Interpreting these OLS coefficients as causal effects requires the researcher to assume that the father absence coefficient is uncorrelated with the error term in the regression equation. This assumption will be violated if a third (omitted) variable influences both father absence and child well-being or if child well-being has a causal effect on father absence that is not accounted for in the model. There are good reasons for believing that both of these factors might be at work and so the assumption might not hold.

Until the late 1990s, researchers who were interested in estimating the effect of father absence on child well-being typically tried to improve the estimation of causal effects by adding more and more control variables to their OLS models, including measures of family resources (e.g., income, parents’ education, and age), as well as measures of parental relationships (e.g., conflict) and mental health (e.g., depression). Unfortunately, controlling for multiple background characteristics does not eliminate the possibility that an unmeasured variable is causing both family structure and child well-being. Nor does it address the fact that multiple causal pathways may be at work, with children’s characteristics and parents’ relationships reciprocally influencing each other. Adding control variables to the model can also create new problems if the control variables are endogenous to father absence. (See Ribar 2004 for a more detailed discussion of cross-sectional models.)

Lagged Dependent Variable Model

A second approach to estimating the causal effect of father absence is the lagged dependent variable (LDV) model, which uses the standard OLS model described above but adds a control for child well-being prior to parents’ divorce or separation. This approach requires longitudinal data that measure child well-being at two points in time---one observation before and one after the separation. The assumption behind this strategy is that the pre-separation measure of child well-being controls for unmeasured variables that affect parents’ separation as well as future child well-being.

Although this approach attempts to reduce omitted variable bias, it also has several limitations. First, the model is limited with respect to the window of time when father absence effects can be examined. Specifically, the model cannot examine the effect of absences that occur prior to the earliest measure of child well-being, which means LDV models cannot be used to estimate the effect of a nonmarital birth or any family structure in which a child has lived since birth. Second, if pre-separation well-being is measured with error, the variable will not fully control for omitted variables. Third, lagged measures of well-being do not control for circumstances that change between the two points in time and might influence both separation and well-being, such as a parent’s job loss. Another challenge to LDV studies is that divorce/separation is a process that begins several years before the divorce/separation is final. In this case, the pre-divorce measure of child well-being may be picking up part of the effect of the divorce, leading to an underestimate of the negative effect of divorce. Alternatively, children’s immediate response to divorce may be more negative than their long-term response, leading to an overestimate of the negative effect of divorce. Both of these limitations highlight the fact that the LDV approach is highly sensitive to the timing of when child well-being is measured before and after the divorce. In addition, many of the outcomes that we care most about occur only once (e.g., high school graduation, early childbearing), and the LDV strategy is not appropriate for these outcomes. (See Johnson 2005 for a more detailed technical discussion of the LDV approach in studying family transitions.)

These advantages and limitations are evident in Cherlin et al.’s (1991) classic study employing this method. Drawing on longitudinal data from Great Britain and the United States, the authors estimated how the dissolution of families that were intact at the initial survey (age 7 in Great Britain and 7--11 in the United States) impacted children’s behavior problems as well as their reading and math test scores at follow-up (age 11 in Great Britain and 11--16 in the United States). In OLS regression models with controls, the authors found that divorce increased behavior problems and lowered cognitive test scores for children in Great Britain and for boys in the United States. However, these relationships were substantially attenuated for boys and somewhat attenuated for girls once the authors adjusted for child outcomes and parental conflict measured at the initial interview prior to divorce. By using data that contained repeated measurements of the same outcome, these researchers argue that they were able to reduce omitted variable bias and derive more accurate estimates of the casual effect of family dissolution. This approach also limited the external validity of the study, however, because the researchers could examine only separations that occurred after age 7, when the first measures of child well-being were collected.

Growth Curve Model

A third strategy for estimating causal effects when researchers have measures of child well-being at more than two points in time is the growth curve model (GCM). This approach allows researchers to estimate two parameters for the effect of father absence on child well-being: one that measures the difference in initial well-being among children who experience different family patterns going forward, and another that measures the difference in the rate of growth (or decline) in well-being among these groups of children. Researchers have typically attributed the difference in initial well-being to factors that affect selection into father absence and the difference in growth in well-being to the causal effect of father absence. The GCM is extremely flexible with respect to its ability to specify father absence effects and is therefore well suited to uncovering how effects unfold over time or across subgroups. For example, the model can estimate age-specific effects, whether effects persist or dissipate over time, and whether they interact with other characteristics such as gender or race/ethnicity. The model also allows the researcher to conduct a placebo test---to test whether father absence at time 2 affects child well-being prior to divorce (time 1). If future divorce affects pre-divorce well-being, this finding would suggest that an unmeasured variable is causing both the divorce and poor child outcomes.

The GCM also has limitations. First, it requires a minimum of three observations of well-being for each individual in the sample. Second, as was true of the LDV model, it can examine the effect of divorces that occur only within a particular window of time---after the first and before the last measure of child well-being. Also, like the OLS model, the GCM does not eliminate the possibility that unmeasured variables are causing both differences in family patterns and differences in trajectories of child well-being, including growth or decline in well-being. For example, an unmeasured variable that causes the initial gap in well-being could also be causing the difference in growth rates. We are more confident in the results of the GCMs if they show no significant differences in pre-divorce intercepts but significant differences in growth rates. We are also more confident in studies that include placebo or falsification tests, such as using differences in future divorce to predict initial differences in well-being. If later family disruption is significantly associated with differences in pre-divorce well-being (the intercept), this finding would indicate the presence of selection bias. [See Singer & Willett (2003) for a more detailed technical discussion of GCMs and Halaby (2004) for a more detailed discussion of the assumptions and trade-offs among the various approaches to modeling panel data.]

Magnuson & Berger’s (2009) analysis of data from the Maternal and Child Supplement of the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth 1979 (NLSY79) is illustrative of this approach. These authors used GCMs to examine the relationship between the proportion of time children spent in different family structures between ages 6 and 12 and scores on the Peabody Individual Achievement Test (PIAT) cognitive ability test and the Behavioral Problems Index. They focused on several family types: intact biological-parent families (married or cohabiting), social-father families (married or cohabiting), and single-parent families. They found no differences in the initial well-being of the children in these different family structures, suggesting that controls for observable factors had successfully dealt with problems of selection. In contrast, they found major differences in children’s well-being trajectories, with time spent in intact biological-parent families leading to more favorable trajectories than time spent in other family types. The combination of insignificant differences in intercepts and significant differences in slopes increases our confidence in these results. However, it remains possible that time-varying unobserved characteristics were driving both time spent in different family structures and changes in child behavior and achievement.

Individual Fixed Effects Model

A fourth strategy for estimating causal effects is the individual fixed effects (IFE) model, in which child-specific fixed effects remove all time-constant differences among children. This model is similar to the LDV and GCM in that it uses longitudinal data with repeated measures of family structure and child well-being. It is different in that instead of including pre-separation well-being as a control variable, it estimates the effects of father absence using only the associations between within-child changes in family structure and within-child changes in well-being, plus other exogenous covariates (and an error term). The IFE model is equivalent to either including a distinct dummy variable indicator for each child, that absorbs all unobserved, time-constant differences among children, or to differencing out within-child averages from each dependent and independent variable. In both of these specifications, only within-child variation is used to estimate the effects of father absence. The advantage of this model is that unmeasured variables in the error term that do not change over time are swept out of the analysis and therefore do not bias the coefficient for father absence. (See Ribar 2004 for a discussion of fixed effects models.)

The IFE model also has limitations. As with LDVs and GCMs, IFE models cannot be estimated for outcomes that occur only once, such as high school graduation or a teen birth, or for outcomes that can be measured only in adulthood, such as earnings. Also, as with LDVs and GCMs, the IFE model does not control for unobserved confounders that change over time and jointly influence change in father presence and change in child well-being. Third, because the model provides an estimate of the effect of a change in a child’s experience of father absence (moving from a two-parent to a single-parent family or vice versa), it does not provide an estimate of the effect of living in a stable one-parent family or a stable two-parent family. Unlike the other approaches, the IFE model estimates the effect of father absence by comparing before-after experiences for only those children within the treatment group, rather than comparing children in the treatment and control groups. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the IFE model is very sensitive to measurement error because estimates of the effect of a change in father absence rely heavily on within-individual changes.

A good illustration of the IFE approach is a study by Cooper et al. (2011) . Using data from the first four waves of the Fragile Families Study, the authors examined the link between two measures of school readiness---verbal ability and behavioral problems at age 5---and children’s exposure to family instability, including entrances and exits from the household. Using an OLS model, they found that the number of partnership transitions was associated with lower verbal ability, more externalizing behavior, and more attention problems, but not more internalizing behavior. These relationships held for both coresidential and dating transitions and were more pronounced for boys than girls. To address potential problems of omitted variable bias, the authors estimated a fixed effects model and found that residential transitions, but not dating transitions, reduced verbal ability among all children and increased behavior problems among boys. The fact that the IFE estimates were consistent with the OLS estimates increases our confidence in the OLS results.

Sibling Fixed Effects Model

A fifth strategy for dealing with omitted variable bias is the sibling fixed effects (SFE) model. This model is similar to the previous model in that unmeasured family-level variables that are fixed (i.e., do not vary among family members) are differenced out of the equation and do not bias the estimates of father absence. In this case, the group is the family rather than the individual, and the difference that is being compared is the difference between siblings with different family experiences rather than the change in individual exposure to different family experiences. The literature on father absence contains two types of SFE models. One approach compares biological siblings who experience father absence at different ages. In this case, the estimate of the causal effect of father absence is based on the difference in siblings’ length of exposure. For example, a sibling who is age 5 at the time of a divorce or separation will experience 12 years of father absence by age 17, whereas a sibling who is age 10 when the separation occurs will experience 7 years of father absence by age 17. In some instances, children may leave home before their parents’ divorce, in which case they are treated as having no exposure. A second approach compares half-siblings in the same family, where one sibling is living with two biological parents and the other is living with a biological parent and a stepparent or social father. Both of these strategies sweep out all unmeasured family-level variables that differ between families and could potentially bias the estimate of the effect of divorce.

Both approaches also have limitations. The first approach assumes that the effect of divorce does not vary by the age or temperament of the child and that there is a dose-response effect of father absence with more years of absence leading to proportionately worse outcomes, whereas the second approach assumes that the benefits of the presence of both a biological mother and father are similar for children living with and without stepsiblings. With respect to the first assumption, as previously noted, both theory and empirical evidence suggest that, at least for some outcomes, divorces occurring in early childhood and adolescence have more negative effects on child outcomes than divorces occurring in middle childhood ( Sigle-Rushton & McLanahan 2004 ). Moreover, if siblings differ in their ability to cope with divorce, and if parents take this difference into account in making their decision about when to divorce, this approach will lead to an underestimate of the effect of a change in family structure.

The major limitation of the second approach is that it assumes that the benefits of living with two biological parents are similar for children living in blended families and children living in traditional two-parent families. With respect to this assumption, there is good evidence that stepparent families are less cooperative than stable two-parent families, which means that living in a blended family is likely to reduce the well-being of all children in the household ( Sigle-Rushton & McLanahan 2004 ). A final limitation of the SFE model is that estimates cannot be generalized to families with only one child. 2

Within-family fixed effects models are employed in Gennetian’s (2005) analysis of data on 5- to 10-year-old children interviewed from 1986 to 1994 for the children of the NLSY79 study. Gennetian examined how children in two-biological-parent families, stepfather families, and single-mother families fared on the PIAT cognitive test as well as how children living with step- or half-siblings compared to those with only full siblings. In simple comparisons, the data revealed a significant disadvantage in PIAT scores for children in single-mother families, stepfather families, and blended families relative to those in two-biological-parent families. Gennetian (2005) then leveraged the data, which included repeated measurements over time of family composition and outcomes for all of the mother’s children, to estimate models with mother and child fixed effects. These analyses found very little evidence that children living in single-mother, stepfather, or blended families were disadvantaged on PIAT scores relative to children in nonblended two-biological-parent families, although they did indicate that number of years in a single-mother family had a small negative effect on PIAT scores.

Finally, Gennetian further tested the logic of the sibling approach by comparing the well-being of half-siblings, one of whom was living with both biological parents and the other of whom was living with a biological parent and a stepparent. The analyses showed the expected negative effect on PIAT scores for children living with stepfathers, with this relationship remaining negative (but declining in size and losing significance) in models with mother and child fixed effects. Importantly, these analyses also revealed a negative effect of the presence of a half-sibling on the child who was living with two biological parents.

Natural Experiments and Instrumental Variables

A sixth strategy is to use a natural experiment to estimate the effect of divorce on child well-being. The logic behind this strategy is to find an event or condition that strongly predicts father absence but is otherwise unrelated to the offspring outcome of interest. The natural experiment may be an individual-level variable or an aggregate-level measure.

Several studies use parental death as a natural experiment, generally comparing outcomes for children whose parents divorced with those whose parent died. The assumption behind this strategy is that experiencing parental death is a random event and can therefore be used to obtain an unbiased estimate of the effect of father absence. In such analyses, a significant negative relationship between child outcomes and both parental death and divorce is taken as evidence of the causal relationship of divorce on child well-being, particularly if the divorce and death coefficients are not statistically different. 3 A major challenge for these studies is that parental death is rarely random; whatever is causing the death may also be causing the child outcome. Violent and accident-related deaths, for example, are selective of people who engage in risky behaviors; similarly, many illness-related deaths are correlated with lifestyles that affect child outcomes, such as smoking. Children of deceased parents are also treated very differently than are children of divorced parents, not only by their informal support systems but also by government.

Other studies use natural experiments to estimate instrumental variable (IV) models. This strategy involves a two-step procedure. In the first step, the researcher uses the natural experiment to obtain a predicted father absence (PFA) measure for each individual. Then, in the second step, PFA is substituted for actual divorce in a model predicting offspring well-being. Because PFA is based entirely on observed variables, the coefficient for this variable cannot be correlated with unmeasured variables, thereby removing the threat of omitted variable bias. For this strategy to work, however, the researcher must make a number of strong assumptions. First, he or she must find a variable---or instrument---that is a strong predictor of divorce or separation but that is not correlated with the outcome of interest except through its effects on father absence or divorce. The second assumption is often violated [for example, see Besley & Case (2000) for a discussion of why state policies are not random with respect to child well-being]. A third limitation of the IV model is that it requires a large sample. Because PFA is based on predicted absence rather than actual absence, it is measured with a good deal of error, which results in large standard errors in the child well-being equation and makes it difficult to interpret results that are not statistically significant. Finally, the IV model requires a different instrument for each independent variable, which limits the researcher’s ability to specify different types of father absence.

A good example of the natural experiment/IV approach and its limitations is Gruber’s (2004) analysis of the effect of changes in divorce laws on divorce and child outcomes. Combining data on state differences in divorce laws with information from the 1960--1990 US Censuses, Gruber found a significant positive effect of the presence of unilateral divorce laws---which make divorce easier---on the likelihood of being divorced. This part of the analysis satisfied the first requirement for the IV model; namely, that the instrument be strongly associated with divorce. He then estimated the effect of living in a state (for at least part of childhood) where unilateral divorce was available on a host of adult outcomes. These analyses showed that unilateral divorce laws were associated with early marriage and more divorce, less education, lowered family income, and higher rates of suicide. Additionally, women so exposed appeared to have lower labor force attachment and lower earnings. To distinguish the effect of divorce laws from other state-level policies, Gruber investigated the associations between the presence of unilateral divorce laws and changes in welfare generosity and education spending during this same time period, finding no associations suggestive of bias. He did find, however, that his results were driven in large part by factors at work in California over this period.

Most importantly, Gruber concluded that divorce laws did not pass the second requirement of the IV model; namely, that they affect child well-being only through their effect on parents’ divorce. Instead, he argued that divorce laws are likely to affect child well-being by altering decisions about who marries and by altering the balance of power among married couples. Gruber’s analysis highlights the difficulty of finding a natural experiment that truly satisfies both assumptions of the IV model.

Propensity Score Matching

A final strategy used in the literature for obtaining estimates of the causal effect of divorce is propensity score matching (PSM). Based on the logic of experimental design, this approach attempts to construct treatment and control groups that are similar in all respects except for the treatment condition, which in this literature is father absence. The strategy begins by estimating the probability of father absence for each child based on as many covariates as possible observed in the data, and then uses this predicted probability to match families so that they are similar to one another in all respects except for father absence.

This approach has several advantages over the OLS model. First, researchers may exclude families that do not have a good match (i.e., a similar propensity to divorce), so that we are more confident that our estimates are based on comparing “apples to apples.” Second, PSM analyses are more flexible than OLS because they do not impose a particular functional form on how the control variables are associated with divorce. PSM estimation is also more efficient than OLS because it uses a single variable---predicted probability of divorce---that combines the relevant predictive information from all the potential observed confounders. Finally, it can accommodate the fact that the effects of divorce may differ across children by estimating separate effects for children in families with low and high propensities to divorce. Propensity scores may also be used to reweight the data so that the treatment and control groups are more similar in terms of their observed covariates ( Morgan & Todd 2008 , Morgan & Winship 2007 ).

The PSM approach has limitations as well. First, the model is less flexible than the OLS model in terms of the number and complexity of family structures that can be compared in a single equation. Second, the approach does not control for unmeasured variables, although it is possible to conduct sensitivity analyses to address the potential influence of such variables. For this reason, the approach is less satisfactory than IV models for making causal inferences. Finally, the strategy relies heavily on the ability of the researcher to find suitable matches. If there is not sufficient overlap in the kinds of people who divorce and the kinds of people who remain stably married, the approach will not work. Similarly, by limiting the sample to cases with a match, the researcher also reduces sample size and, more importantly, the generalizability of the results [see Morgan & Winship (2007) , Ribar (2004) , and Winship & Morgan (1999) , for a more extended technical discussion of the logic and assumptions of matching techniques].

The work of Frisco et al. (2007) serves as a useful example of the use PSM models in the study of the effects of divorce. Drawing on the Add Health data, the authors first estimated simple OLS regressions of the relationship between the dissolution of a marital or cohabiting relationship between waves I and II and adolescents’ level of mathematics coursework, change in GPA, and change in proportion of courses failed between the two waves. These models revealed a significant negative relationship between dissolution and the measures of GPA and course failure but no link to mathematics coursework, after controlling for a large number of potentially confounding variables.

Next, the authors calculated a propensity to experience dissolution as a function of parents’ race, education, income, work, age, relationship experience and quality, religiosity, and health and adolescents’ age, gender, and number of siblings, and then used this predicted propensity to conduct nearest neighbor matching with replacement and kernel matching. Regardless of matching method, the estimates from the PSM models accorded very well with those from the simple OLS regressions. As in those models, there were significant negative relationships between dissolution and GPA and positive relationships with course failure, and the point estimates were of a very similar magnitude across models. This study also examined how large the influence of an unobserved confounder would have had to be in order to threaten the causal interpretation of the results.

The study had some unique and some general limitations. Because of data limitations, the authors could not separate dissolutions stemming from divorce from those attributable to other causes, such as parental death. More generally, because matching is limited to observable characteristics, the authors could calculate only propensities of dissolution based on observable characteristics. To assess the sensitivity of their results to omitted variable bias, the authors conducted a simulation and discovered that an unobserved confounder that is moderately associated with dissolution and the outcomes ( r < 0.1) could bias their findings.

EVIDENCE FOR THE CAUSAL EFFECT OF FAMILY STRUCTURE ON CHILD OUTCOMES

In this section, we assess the evidence for a causal effect of father absence on different domains of offspring well-being. Empirical studies have used multiple strategies for identifying causal effects that each have unique strengths and weaknesses---as we identified in the previous section---but we are more confident in the presence of causal effects if we identify consistent results across multiple methods. Many of the articles we examine used more than one analytic strategy and/or examined outcomes in more than one domain. Consequently, our unit of analysis is each separate model reported in an article, rather than the article itself. For instance, rather than discussing an article that includes both SFE and LDV analyses of test scores and self-esteem as a single entity, we discuss it as four separate cases. The virtue of this approach is that it allows us to discern patterns more clearly across studies using similar analytic strategies and across studies examining similar outcomes. The drawback is that some articles contribute many cases and some only one. Consequently, if there are strong author-effects, for articles that contribute many cases, then our understanding of the results produced by a given analytic strategy or for a given domain could be skewed. We note when this occurs in our discussions below.

Studies in this field measured father absence in several ways, which the reader should keep in mind when interpreting and comparing results across studies. Some studies compared children of divorced parents with children of stably married parents; others compared children whose parents married after their child’s birth with those parents who never married; still others simply compared two-parent to single-parent families (regardless of whether the former were biological or stepparents and the latter were single through divorce or a nonmarital birth). More recently, researchers have started to use even more nuanced categories to measure family structure---including married biological-parent families, cohabiting biological-parent families, married stepparent families, cohabiting stepparent families, and single parents by divorce and nonmarital birth---reflecting the growing diversity of family forms in society. Still other studies look at the number of family structure transitions the child experiences as a measure of family instability. We did not identify any studies that used causal methods to study the effects of same-sex unions.

Finally, we include studies of father absence that use data from a range of international samples. We should note, however, that what it means to reside in a father-absent household varies a great deal cross-nationally. Children whose parents are not married face starkly different levels of governmental and institutional support and unequal prospects for living in a stable two-parent family in different countries. In fact, both marital and nonmarital unions in the United States are considerably less stable than in any other industrialized nation ( Andersson 2002 ).

We begin our review of the empirical findings by looking at studies that attempted to estimate the causal effect of divorce on school success. We distinguish between studies that looked at children’s test scores; studies that looked at educational attainment; and studies that looked at children’s attitudes, engagement, and school performance.

Test scores

We identified 31 analyses that examined the relationship between father absence and test scores, including tests of verbal, math, and general ability. The articles containing these analyses are listed and briefly described in the first section of Table 1 . Virtually all of the test score analyses used US-based samples (only Cherlin et al. 1991 used international data). Although the overall picture for test scores was mixed, with 14 finding significant effects and 17 finding no effect, there were patterns by methodology. 4 First, significant effects were most likely in the analyses using GCMs. Of the GCM studies finding significant differences in slopes between children of divorced and intact families, about half found no significant differences in the pre-divorce intercepts, which made their significant results more convincing. One GCM study ( Magnuson & Berger 2009 ) performed a falsification test and found no evidence that subsequent divorce predicted intercepts, ruling out the threat of selection bias.

Studies of the effects of father absence on education

In contrast with analyses based on the GCM design, the IFE and SFE analyses rarely found significant effects of family structure on children’s test scores. In general, standard errors tended to be larger in IFE and SFE analyses than in OLS analyses, but in virtually all of these analyses, the fixed effects coefficients were markedly reduced in size relative to the OLS coefficients, suggesting that the lack of significant results was not simply due to larger standard errors.

Several factors may have limited the generalizability of the fixed effects models, however. First, all of these analyses came from comparisons of siblings in blended families. The parents in blended families differed from those in traditional married families because at least one of the parents had children from a previous relationship, limiting the external validity of these results. Second, the father-absent category included children of divorced parents as well as children of never-married mothers, whereas the father-present category contained both children whose mothers were married at birth and children whose mothers married after the child’s birth. We might expect that the benefit of moving from a single-parent household to a married-parent household would be smaller than the benefit of being born into a stably married family. Given these comparisons and the small samples involved in estimation, it is understandable that we found little evidence of an impact of family structure on test scores using fixed effects models.

Although there were clear patterns in the GCM and fixed effects analyses, LDV studies were a mixed bag: Half found effects and half did not. Sometimes the results were not robust even within the same paper. For example, both Cherlin et al. (1991) and Sanz-de-Galdeano & Vuri (2007) found significant effects for math scores but not reading scores. Using the same data as Sanz-de-Galdeano & Vuri (the National Education Longitudinal Study), Sun (2001) found positive effects for both math and reading tests.

Educational attainment

There is stronger evidence of a causal effect of father absence on educational attainment, particularly for high school graduation. Of nine studies examining high school graduation using multiple methodologies, only one found null effects, and this study used German data to compare siblings in blended families. There was also robust evidence of effects when attainment was measured by years of schooling. Again, the only studies that found no effect of father absence were those that used international samples or compared siblings in blended families. Finally, there was weak evidence for effects on college attendance and graduation, with only one of four studies finding significant results. Taken together, the evidence for an effect of father absence on educational attainment, particularly high school graduation, is strong in studies using US samples, perhaps because of the relatively open structure of the US educational system compared with the more rigid tracking systems within many European countries.

How might one explain the stronger, more consistent evidence base for father absence effects on educational attainment relative to cognitive ability? One explanation is that measurement error in test scores is to blame for the weak and sometimes inconsistent findings in that domain. Another explanation is that the methods involved in measuring attainment---sibling models and natural experiments---do not control as rigorously for unobserved confounders as the repeated-measure studies (GCM, LDV, IFE) of cognitive ability.

The lack of strong test score effects is also consistent with findings in the early education literature that suggest that cognitive test scores are more difficult to change than noncognitive skills and behaviors (see, e.g., HighScope Perry Preschool Project; Schweinhart et al. 2005 ). Given that educational attainment is based on a combination of cognitive ability and behavioral skills (that are influenced by family structure, as we describe below), it makes sense that we find strong evidence of effects on the likelihood of high school graduation but not on test scores.

Attitudes, performance, and engagement

A smaller number of analyses (10) examined the effect of father absence on children’s school performance, including GPA, coursework, and track placement. Of these analyses, four found no significant effect on track placement using German data and multiple methodologies ( Francesconi et al, 2010 ). Three analyses came from a study in the United States by Frisco et al. (2007) that found effects for GPA and courses failed, but not for a third, somewhat unusual measure: years of math coursework completed. It is difficult to draw any conclusions about the effects of family structure on school performance across these disparate samples and measures.

Finally, seven studies examined the effect of father absence on educational engagement and aspirations among teenagers in the United States. Five of the seven analyses found no effect on these noncognitive measures. For example, one study ( Sun & Li 2002 ) found positive effects on aspirations, but the other two found no effect. Similarly, one study ( Astone & McLanahan 1991 ) found positive effects on school engagement, but the other three found no effect. The latter findings suggest that educational aspirations and orientations toward schooling may form at younger ages, and none of these analyses examined aspirations among children younger than age 12.

Mental Health

After education, the second most common outcome examined in the literature is mental health, which is measured as social-emotional development when respondents are children and adolescents. Mental health and social-emotional development are closely related to what social scientists call noncognitive skills or soft skills to distinguish them from cognitive skills such as math and reading tests. Recent research shows that social-emotional skills play an important role in adult outcomes, not only in influencing mental health but also in influencing educational attainment, family formation and relationships, and labor market success ( Cunha & Heckman 2008 ).

Adult mental health

We identified six studies that examined the association between parental divorce and adult mental health (see Table 2 ) Three of these studies were based on UK data, and TWO were based on US data. All of the empirical strategies that we discussed in the previous section were used to estimate the effects of divorce and father absence on adult mental health. The findings were quite robust, with four of the six analyses showing a negative effect of parental divorce on adult mental health. Moreover, one of the two null findings ( Ermisch & Francesconi 2001 ) was overturned in a subsequent paper by the same authors that distinguished between early and later exposure to divorce ( Ermisch et al. 2004 ).

Studies of the effects of father absence on mental health

Social-emotional problems

Social-emotional problems in childhood are typically measured using the Child Behavior Checklist (CBCL) ( Achenbach & Edelbrock 1981 ), which includes behaviors such as aggression, attention, anxiety, and depression. Some researchers use the full CBCL scale, whereas others use subscales that distinguish between externalizing behavior (aggression and attention) and internalizing behavior (anxiety and depression).

For adolescents, researchers often use a delinquency scale or a measure of antisocial behavior, which overlaps with some of the items on the externalizing scale. A few of the studies we examined looked at other psychological outcomes, such as locus of control and self-esteem, and several studies looked at substance use/abuse.

We identified 27 separate analyses that examined the association between parental divorce and some type of externalizing behavior or delinquency. These analyses were based on data from four countries: the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia,. Of these, 19 analyses found a significant positive effect of divorce or father absence on problem behavior for at least one comparison group, whereas 8 found no significant association. The findings varied dramatically by method, with the LDV approach yielding the most significant results and the two fixed effects approaches yielding the fewest significant findings. Two analyses found effects among boys but not girls ( Cooper et al. 2011 , Morrison & Cherlin 1995 ), and one analysis found effects among girls but not boys ( Cherlin et al. 1991 ).

Of the analyses reporting null findings, several had characteristics that might account for the lack of significant findings. One combined cohabiting parents with married parents ( Boutwell & Beaver 2010 ), which likely weakened the effect of father absence on child outcomes, as prior research shows that disruptions of cohabiting unions are less harmful for children than are disruptions of marital unions ( Brown 2006 ). A second controlled for family income, which is partly endogenous to divorce ( Hao & Matsueda 2006 ). And a third used a small, school-based sample ( Pagani et al. 1998 ).

Six analyses examined internalizing behavior in children, including studies that measured loneliness and difficulty making friends. Three of these analyses reported significant effects of father absence, whereas the other three reported no effects. As was true of the externalizing analyses, the internalizing analyses relied on multiple strategies. Also, as before, the analyses reporting null effects had characteristics that might account for their lack of strong findings. Two of the analyses that used IFE models were based on low-income samples ( Bachman et al. 2009 , Foster & Kalil 2007 ), and a third study controlled for income ( Hao & Matsueda 2006 ). In addition, the Bachman analysis compared single mothers who married with those who remained single. Finally, five analyses looked at low self-esteem and low self-control, which are sometimes treated as markers of depression or psychological distress. The findings from these studies were mixed.

Substance use

We identified six analyses that examined substance use, measured as cigarette smoking and drug and alcohol use. The evidence for this set of outcomes was very robust, with only one analysis reporting a null effect ( Evenhouse & Reilly 2004 ). Furthermore, the findings were consistent across multiple strategies, including SFE models, which often showed no effects for other outcomes.

Labor Force

We found only a few analyses that examined the effect of father absence on children’s labor force outcomes in adulthood (see Table 3 ). In part, this is because earnings, employment, and welfare receipt in adulthood do not lend themselves to analysis using IFEs, GCMs, or LDVs, which require observations before and after the divorce. Indeed, all the analyses of this domain of outcomes used SFE models or natural experiments.

Studies of the effects of father absence on the labor force

However, in many other respects, there is limited comparability between the studies. Although several studies used data from the United States ( Biblarz & Gottainer 2000 , Björkland et al. 2007 , Gruber 2004 , Lang & Zagorsky 2001 ), many of these analyses were derived from estimates based on British or Canadian data. Further, the Gruber (2004) and Corak (2001) studies, which contributed 9 of the 14 analyses, differed in the ages and periods examined, with Gruber using data from a longer time period (1960--1990), a wider range of ages (20--50), and so a much larger set of cohorts (births 1910--1970) than Corak (2001) : ages 25--32 and births 1963--1972. The remaining analyses, with the exception of Biblarz & Gottainer (2000) , accorded with Corak (2001) insofar as they used data from the mid to late 1990s and focused on respondents in their 20s and early 30s.

The findings for effects of father absence were, however, consistent. Both Gruber (2004) , using changes in US state laws to allow for unilateral divorce, and Corak (2001) , using parental death in Canada, found that divorce was associated with lower levels of employment. The studies disagreed, however, about for whom these effects were most pronounced, with Gruber’s (2004) analyses suggesting that female children of divorce were less likely to work and Corak (2001) finding that male children exposed to parental loss had lower labor force participation. Similarly, using SFE models with British data, Ermisch and coauthors ( Ermisch & Francesconi 2001 , Ermisch et al. 2004 ) found evidence of higher levels of labor force inactivity among those who experienced divorce in early childhood. Looking at adult occupational status rather than simply employment status, Biblarz & Gottainer (2000) found that although children growing up in divorced-mother households fared worse than those growing up in stable two-parent households, there was no significant disadvantage to growing up in widow-mother households. However, these researchers did find that children growing up in stepparent households were disadvantaged regardless of whether father absence was due to divorce or widowhood.

The results of analyses of the effect of divorce on income and earnings were less consistent than the results for employment. Again, Gruber (2004) and Corak (2001) contributed most of the analyses for these outcomes, with Gruber finding evidence of negative effects of divorce on income per capita and on women’s earnings (but not poverty), and Corak finding negative effects of divorce on men’s family income (but minimal impacts on earnings). Corak’s result is consistent with analyses by Lang & Zagorsky (2001) who, using parental death as a natural experiment, found no effect of father absence on wages and by Björkland et al. (2007) who, using SFE models with US and Swedish data, found no effects on earnings. Corak (2001) also investigated how divorce was related to the receipt of unemployment insurance and income assistance in Canada, finding a higher probability of receiving income assistance but not unemployment assistance.

Family Formation and Stability

Like the evidence base for labor force outcomes, there is relatively little research on how family structure affects patterns of offspring’s own family formation and relationship stability. The lack of research in this domain is somewhat surprising, given that these outcomes are closely related to the causal effect under consideration. The dearth of studies may be because these outcomes do not lend themselves to LDV, GCM, or IFE analyses.

Marriage and divorce

Virtually everything we know about the effects of father absence on marriage and divorce comes from just three studies (see Table 4 ), all of which used a natural experiment design, with the experimental variable being parental death ( Corak 2001 , Lang & Zagorsky 2001 ) or changes in divorce laws ( Gruber 2004 ). All three studies examined marriage as an outcome but came to different conclusions. Lang & Zagorsky found that parental death and divorce reduced the likelihood that sons will marry but found no effect on daughters. Using parental death as a natural experiment, Corak found no evidence of a causal effect of father absence on marriage for either sons or daughters. Finally, using divorce laws as a natural experiment, Gruber found that growing up under the newer, relaxed divorce laws actually increased the likelihood of marriage for youth. The evidence for an effect of father absence on marital stability was more consistent, with both Corak and Gruber finding evidence of a positive effect on separation but not on divorce.

Studies of the effects of father absence on family formation and stability

Early childbearing

We identified only two analyses that examined the effect of father absence on early childbearing ( Ermisch & Francesconi 2001 , Ermisch et al. 2004 ). These analyses were conducted by the same research team, they used the same SFE model, and they used the same data---the British Household Panel Survey data in Great Britain. Both analyses found a positive association between parental absence and early childbearing, with divorce in early childhood having a stronger effect than divorce in middle childhood.

CONCLUSIONS

The body of knowledge about the causal effects of father absence on child well-being has grown during the early twenty-first century as researchers have increasingly adopted innovative methodological approaches to isolate causal effects. We reviewed 47 such articles and find that, on the whole, articles that take one of the more rigorous approaches to handling the problems of omitted variable bias and reverse causality continue to document negative effects of father absence on child well-being, though these effects are stronger during certain stages of the life course and for certain outcomes.

We find strong evidence that father absence negatively affects children’s social-emotional development, particularly by increasing externalizing behavior. These effects may be more pronounced if father absence occurs during early childhood than during middle childhood, and they may be more pronounced for boys than for girls. There is weaker evidence of an effect of father absence on children’s cognitive ability.

Effects on social-emotional development persist into adolescence, for which we find strong evidence that father absence increases adolescents’ risky behavior, such as smoking or early childbearing. The evidence of an effect on adolescent cognitive ability continues to be weaker, but we do find strong and consistent negative effects of father absence on high school graduation. The latter finding suggests that the effects on educational attainment operate by increasing problem behaviors rather than by impairing cognitive ability.

The research base examining the longer-term effects of father absence on adult outcomes is considerably smaller, but here too we see the strongest evidence for a causal effect on adult mental health, suggesting that the psychological harms of father absence experienced during childhood persist throughout the life course. The evidence that father absence affects adult economic or family outcomes is much weaker. A handful of studies find negative effects on employment in adulthood, but there is little consistent evidence of negative effects on marriage or divorce, on income or earnings, or on college education.

Despite the robust evidence that father absence affects social-emotional outcomes throughout the life course, these studies also clearly show a role for selection in the relationship between family structure and child outcomes. In general, estimates from IFE, SFE, and PSM models are smaller than those from conventional models that do not control for selection bias. Similarly, studies that compare parental death and divorce often find that even if both have significant effects on well-being, the estimates of the effect of divorce are larger than those of parental death, which can also be read as evidence of partial selection.

The Virtues and Limitations of the Key Analytic Strategies

Although we are more confident that causal effects exist if results are robust across multiple methodological approaches, it is understandable that such robustness is elusive, given the wide range of strategies for addressing bias. It is also the case that each of these strategies has important limitations and advantages. Although GCMs, LDV designs, and PSM models allow for broad external validity, these approaches do less to adjust for omitted variables than do IFE and SFE models. Yet such fixed effects models require one to assume that biological parents in blended families are just like parents in nonblended families and that the age at which children experience father absence does not affect their response. In general, studies that employ more stringent methods to control for unobserved confounders also limit the generalizability of their results to specific subpopulations, complicating efforts to draw conclusions across methods.

In many ways, the natural experiment strategy is appealing because it addresses concerns about omitted variable bias and reverse causality. In practice, however, these models are difficult to implement. Approaches that use parental death must make assumptions about the exogeneity of parental death and the comparability of the experiences of father absence due to death and divorce. Similarly, approaches that use instruments such as divorce law changes and incarceration rates must make a convincing case that such policies and practices affect child outcomes only through their effects on family structure.

Some of these methodological approaches are better suited to examining one set of outcomes rather than others. For instance, GCM, LDV, and IFE designs do not lend themselves to the investigation of the effects of father absence on adult outcomes. In contrast, although natural experiments and PSM models can be used to examine a wider range of outcomes, they are much less flexible in how father absence can be measured, generally using dichotomous measures of absence rather than the more detailed categorical measures of family type or measures that seek to capture the degree of instability experienced by children.

Because of these differences by method in the domains that are examined and the definitions of family structure that are used, it is difficult to discern if some methods seem more apt than others to find evidence for or against the effect of father absence on children. But our impression is that LDV and GCM designs tend to find stronger evidence of effects of father absence on education and, particularly, social-emotional health than do the other designs. The evidence on the effects of father absence is more mixed in studies using IFE and SFE. The relatively smaller number of papers that use PSM designs also return a split verdict. Among those studies using natural experiments, there is some evidence of negative effects of father absence from changes in divorce laws, weak evidence when incarceration is used as an instrument, and mixed evidence from studies using parental death.

Areas for Future Research

Looking across studies, it is apparent that father absence can affect child well-being across the life course. But, within any one study, there is rarely an attempt to understand how these different types of outcomes are related to one another. For instance, studies separately estimate the effect of father absence on externalizing behavior, high school completion, and employment, and from these analyses we can tell that family disruption seems to have effects on each outcome. But it is also plausible that the effect of father absence on high school completion operates through an effect on externalizing behavior or that the effect on employment is attributable to the effect on high school completion. Stated differently, the articles reviewed here do a good job of attempting to estimate the causal effects of father absence on particular outcomes, but they do not tell us very much about why or how these effects come about. This omission reflects a fundamental tension, extending beyond our particular substantive topic, between the goal of estimating causal effects versus the goal of understanding the mechanisms and processes that underlie long-term outcomes ( Moffitt 2003 ).

Few of the studies reviewed here investigate whether the effects of father absence vary by child age, but those that do find important differences, with effects concentrated among children who experienced family disruption in early childhood ( Ermisch & Francesconi 2001 , Ermisch et al. 2004 ). New developments in the fields of neuroscience and epigenetics are rapidly expanding our understanding of how early childhood experiences, including in utero experiences, have biological consequences, and sociologists would benefit from a better understanding of these dynamics as they relate to a wide range of potential outcomes, especially health in adulthood ( Barker 1992 , Miller et al. 2011 ). Similarly, although there has been some attention to how boys and girls may respond differently to father absence, researchers should continue to be attentive to these interactions by gender.

We found surprisingly little work on interactions between father absence and race or class. Given that African American and low-income children experience higher levels of father absence than their white and middle-class counterparts, a differential response to absence could serve to mitigate or further exacerbate inequalities in childhood and adult outcomes. More work, particularly using the methods of causal inference discussed here, remains to be done on this topic. We also suggest that more research is needed to understand if the effects of father absence on child well-being may have changed over time. We might expect that if stigma has lessened, as father absence has become more common, then the negative effects may have diminished. Alternatively, diminishing social safety net support and rising workplace insecurity could have served to make the economic consequences of father absence more severe and the negative effects more pronounced.

Finally, emerging research on family complexity shows that children raised apart from their biological fathers are raised in a multitude of family forms---single-mother families, cohabiting-parent families, stepparent families, blended families, multigenerational families---many of which are often very unstable ( McLanahan 2011 , Tach et al. 2011 , Tach 2012 ). Indeed, stable single-mother households are quite rare, at least among children born to unmarried parents, which means that unstable and complex families may be the most common counterfactual to the married two-biological-parent family. Thus, studies of the causal impact of father absence should not treat father absence as a static condition but must distinguish between the effect of a change in family structure and the effect of a family structure itself.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Support for S. McLanahan was provided by NICHD through grants R01HD36916, R01HD39135, and R01HD40421. L. Tach acknowledges support from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation Health & Society Scholars Program. D. Schneider received support from Princeton University and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation Scholars in Health Policy Research Program. We are grateful to Anne Case, Andrew Cherlin, Stephen Morgan, and David Ribar for their comments.

1 We use the term “father absence” to refer to children who live apart from their biological father because of divorce, separation from a cohabiting union, or nonmarital birth. We use the terms “divorce” and “separation” to talk about change in children’s coresidence with their biological fathers.

2 Children of twin studies are a variation of the SFE model. These studies, pioneered by D’Onofrio and colleagues (2006 , 2007 ), compare the offspring of identical (MZ) twins, fraternal (DZ) twins, and regular siblings in cases in which one sibling or twin divorces and the other does not. These analyses control for family differences that are common to both siblings; however, they do not control for within-sibling differences that lead one sibling to divorce and another to be stably married. Twin studies go one step further, by comparing MZ twins (who share identical genetic information) and DZ twins (who have half of their genes identical), allowing researchers to determine the role of genetics in accounting for the effect of divorce.

3 We only include studies of the effect of parental death on child outcomes if the author uses one of the causal methods described below or explicitly uses death as a natural experiment for divorce or other types of father absence.

4 The picture remains mixed even within particular types of tests (math, reading/verbal, or general ability). Most studies used the PPVT or PIAT Math and Reading tests.

DISCLOSURE STATEMENT

The authors are not aware of any affiliations, memberships, funding, or financial holdings that might be perceived as affecting the objectivity of this review.

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Handbook of Fathers and Child Development pp 105–120 Cite as

A Family Systems Perspective on Father Absence, Presence, and Engagement

• Erika London Bocknek 6  
• First Online: 02 October 2020

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2 Citations

This chapter addresses father presence/absence and related impacts on child developmental outcomes. The research literature has historically narrowly defined fathers’ presence in their children’s lives based on marital/residential status. However, family structure among diverse communities varies. Empirical literature indicates that fathers contribute in consistent and meaningful ways to their children’s development across residential patterns. The discussion will be contextualized within a family systems framework and derive conceptual meaning based on boundary clarity/ambiguity in families. Special consideration will be given to psychological/sociological issues impacting family separation including mental health problems, substance use, trauma, and incarceration.

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Natasha J. Cabrera

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Division of Mental Health, Akershus University Hospital HF, Lørenskog, Norway

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Bocknek, E.L. (2020). A Family Systems Perspective on Father Absence, Presence, and Engagement. In: Fitzgerald, H.E., von Klitzing, K., Cabrera, N.J., Scarano de Mendonça, J., Skjøthaug, T. (eds) Handbook of Fathers and Child Development. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-51027-5_7

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Coming to terms with the absence of my father

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It’s been about 15 years since my father has actually been in my life. You wouldn’t know that though if you were friends with him on Facebook because he wants those who do to think he’s in my life. The last time I saw him in person was five years ago when I was 14, which was by chance. 

I was at The Fresh Grocer on 40th and Chestnut with my mother and siblings. We bumped into him at the exit as we were leaving and he was coming in. We made small talk — he asked about school and I asked him about his life and his other children. 

I barely remember most of it but what I will never forget is, as we were saying goodbye, I told him I loved him.  He responded with a hesitant, “I love you, too,” as if he wasn’t expecting to have to say it at all.

As a child, the thing I dreaded the most was Father’s Day and having to spend it with my mother, who was celebrated on both of the parent holidays. I’d still always wish him a happy Father’s Day on Facebook just to keep the facade going, mostly for my sake. 

My big theory for him not being there was because of my mother. She’d always argue with him over the phone about child support and him just being a “deadbeat dad.” That theory stuck until I was old enough to realize it wasn’t a good excuse at all.

I can’t remember anything that happened to me before the age of four and I never understood why. My mother always tells me stories about how my dad was and the activities he used do with me. He’d bring me around his friends’ children and bought me my favorite cinnamon gum and soda pop. 

Over the years, I have tried so hard to remember those things but I can never seem to remember them. Today — for once — I understand why. He wasn’t just absent for most of my life; he was also absent in my mind.

For a while, I tried to just be content with his love through the internet, but it wasn’t enough. For my eighth grade graduation, he posted a picture of me that my mother sent to him on his Facebook and captioned it, “I’m proud of you, my son.” 

I had a seat reserved for my dad to sit in, but it remained empty throughout the entire ceremony. It was the exact same way for fifteen of my birthdays. 

I tried to see him again last year. I planned it about five days prior, and it was all supposed to go just like this: We’d meet up on a Saturday at noon. He’d introduce me to his father, who had just been released from prison. We’d go see “Black Panther” together since it had just come out, and maybe we’d go eat. 

He agreed to the plans. 

The days leading up to it, I was excited. I was looking at the start of redeeming a relationship with my father, and I was so happy he even agreed in the first place. Then the day came. 

Around 3 p.m. that Saturday, he texted me explaining that a family member of ours was in a car accident and that he couldn’t make it. As heartbroken as I was, I told him that I understood. However, I found out that same night from his Facebook that he actually went to go see the movie on his own, which made me feel stupid and naïve.

Sadly enough, I wasn’t the only child in Kensington that had or still has to deal with having an absent father. I see it all the time here — sons with fathers who are strung out on drugs, incarcerated, or just for other reasons are not around. For example, recently there was a child on a bus who was with his parents, and just beside him, his father was strung out, bent over, and under the influence of drugs. 

All of that takes more of a toll on kids than those who don’t experience this can fathom. Lots of young men who lacked their own fathers grow up to either be the same way or grow up thinking it is okay to disrespect women because they had no male figure to teach them otherwise. The mental battle that a person can carry for many years is something that no one should have to go through.

There are too many men like my father in this world and many more people like me. Although I’ve never had these feelings, I know things, like brushing your daughter’s hair, teaching your son how to play basketball, and being there for their high school graduation, are some of the best feelings in the entire world to a father and a child. If you’re a dad now or soon will be, don’t miss out on those things and don’t let your kid miss out on a father.

Coming to terms with having an absent father is a long and painful path. This past January, my father sent me his traditional “Happy birthday, champ.” It was the first time he messaged me in a year after standing me up. But this time was different; I told him how I felt about everything, hoping he would feel that pain I have felt for almost fifteen years and change his ways. 

I didn’t get that much from expressing myself, but what I did get was a chance to finally let him know my true feelings, which helped me a lot. There’s still pain, and for others going through this, there will still be pain for them, too. 

However, no one is alone in this. 

Just as much as this essay is for me, it’s for all of those who have an absent father. My voice is yelling for all of us. It may be cracked and hoarse, but it will never stop until we’re all heard.

What did you think about this story? Send a note to [email protected], and we’ll consider publishing it in our Voices section. You can also tell us what you think in person at our neighborhood events .

Editor: Siani Colón / Story Designer: Jillian Bauer-Reese / Translator: Kristine Aponte

PA 211 Helpline: An under-sourced “resource” for returning citizens

'coming to the united states changed me': kcapa highschooler reflects on growth and future, mastbaum high school student shares poem ‘dream mom’, ‘if i can do it, they can too’: kensington capa student leans on passions to stay positive during hard times.

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Impact of Absent Fathers: Child Development

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Self-Esteem

Fatherless daughters: the impact of absence, a daughter’s sense of self may be shaped by what a father is not able to give..

Posted May 26, 2023 | Reviewed by Davia Sills

• What Is Self-Esteem?
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• While most research focuses on the impact of mothering on children, fathers play an important role too.
• From self-confidence to relationships, fathers have a particularly strong influence on daughters.
• Even if a father is physically present, his emotional absence can negatively affect a daughter into adulthood.

One summer day, when I was nine, I came in from playing jump rope, discovered my father unconscious in his chair, and thought he was dead. He survived another 20 years, but for the rest of my childhood and early adulthood, I lived with the fear of losing him. The possibility that, at any moment, I might suddenly be a fatherless daughter shaped the woman I would become.

Mothers and mothering occupy a lot of space in psychological literature, but the role fathers play in a daughter’s development does not get equal attention . The National Initiative for Fatherhood, the nation's leading provider of research on evidence-based fatherhood programs and resources, reports that according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2022 data, one in four children in this country lives in a home without a biological, step, or adoptive father. Their research indicates that children raised in a father-absent home face a four times greater risk of poverty, are more likely to have behavioral problems, are at two times greater risk of infant mortality, are more likely to go to prison, commit crimes, become a pregnant teen , abuse drugs or alcohol , drop out of school.[1]

Daughters growing up without a father face specific challenges. Fathers influence their daughters' relational lives, creativity , sense of authority, self-confidence , and self-esteem . Her relationship to her sexuality and response to men will in part be determined by her father’s comfort or discomfort with her gender and her body, starting at birth. (This post addresses one’s personal or biological father. The capacity for “fathering” is not based on anatomy, nor is it gender-specific.)

In post-modern societies, both parents may contribute to the family’s financial stability, or the mother may be the primary wage earner. However, through the lens of patriarchal values, a father is a failure if he cannot provide for and protect his family. Fairytales convey societal and psychological truths in magical settings, and many of the most popular tales— Cinderella, Rapunzel, Rumpelstiltskin, Snow White —depict the reality of inadequate, neglectful, or harmful fathers.

The story of Hansel and Gretel portrays the quintessential feckless father. He can neither provide for his family nor stand up to his wife’s cruel demands. Instead, he succumbs to her insistence that they leave their children in the woods to die so that they, the parents, can have enough to eat.

Why does the father disappear after the first page in some tales as if his relevance hardly matters? In real life, though, we know that an absent father is a haunting presence for his daughter. She will wonder why he left, why he has abandoned her, and if she did something to cause him to disappear. She will look for him in the men in her life or perhaps choose men who are the opposite of her father.

One positive outcome for fatherless daughters is hinted at in some fairy tales, as in The Girl Without Hands . The story recounts the survival challenges faced by a daughter who flees the father who maimed her. With no father and no sympathetic maternal figure to rely on, the heroine undergoes a self-revelatory process. In undertaking a series of impossible tasks, she discovers her moral and emotional strength, her courage and inner authority. She survives and thrives.

Psychotherapist Susan Schwartz has written extensively about the wounds daughters suffer from inadequate or harmful fathers. In The Absent Father Effect on Daughters: Father Desire, Father Wounds , she notes that fathers often have difficulty relating to a daughter’s emotional life. Even if the father is physically present, the daughter may feel unseen and unknown and will take on the burden of this failure as her own. She will feel a lack in herself. She may also strive to fulfill her father’s expectations in sports, in scholarship, in financial success, or she may try to fill his emptiness, his depression , with her own energy. Dr. Schwartz describes how a father’s wounds can depotentiate a daughter’s capacity to use her energy for herself, which can compromise her ability to focus and value who she is.[2]

Author Patricia Reis’s book Daughters of Saturn: From Father’s Daughter to Creative Woman is part memoir about her father, part analysis of the father-daughter relationship. She finds Freud ’s theory that the meaning in life is found in work and love too reductive. For women, she says, another dimension must be added. That question is “Whom do I serve?”—self or other.

“It is not enough to claim our power as women: we must be able to use our powers consciously, knowing where and how our energy is spent, on what, on whom, for what purpose—both in work and in relationships.” [3]

To be a fatherless daughter is to feel abandoned by a paternal figure, emotionally, physically, or both. A father may be absent from the home for reasons beyond his control. The list of reasons is extensive, and each situation impacts a daughter differently. Illness and death may burden her with additional grief , while military service, deportation, adoption , incarceration, divorce , or disinterest will have their own effects. A father who is physically present but emotionally distant, manipulative, abusive, or depressed also sets up a daughter for psychological distress. Her sense of herself, her ambition, her independence, and her trust of the world will be shaped by her relationship with her father.

Fathers who long to have a deeper relationship with their daughters might ask themselves: What is my daughter trying to tell me about herself? What does she want me to see? How can I be more curious about her and her experience in the world? And they might ask their daughters, “How can I be more attentive?”

[1] “ The Statistics Don't Lie: Fathers Matter ,” The National Fatherhood Initiative

[2] Schwartz, Susan, The Absent Father Effect on Daughters: Father Desire, Father Wounds. Routledge, 2020

[3] Reis, Patricia, Daughters of Saturn: From Father’s Daughter to Creative Woman. Continuum International Publishing Group, 1995, Preface pp xiii-xix.

Dale M. Kushner, MFA , explores the intersection of creativity, healing, and spirituality in her writing: her poetry collection M ; novel, The Conditions of Love ; and essays, including in Jung’s Red Book for Our Time .

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Father Absenteeism and Child Development

The development of people’s ability to form intimate, as well as parent-child, relationships occurs at different stages of their lives. It has been acknowledged that the basis of this capability is formed during the early stages of human development, but it is also shaped throughout the person’s life (Makusha, Richter, Knight, Van Rooyen, & Bhana, 2013). Father absenteeism has been regarded as one of the major factors affecting the child’s further development especially regarding sexual behavior and intimate relationships. Importantly, females often have different views on child-rearing, which can be a result of their own childhood experiences (Makusha et al., 2013). At that, their relationships with their intimate partners also shape the way they see child-rearing or the way they actually behave with their children (Wallerstein, Lewis, & Packer Rosenthal, 2013). Therefore, it is possible to note that attachment patterns are affected by a variety of factors throughout different stages of individuals’ development.

This topic has significant value for the field of General Psychology. The stages of human development are the areas of exploration of General Psychologists. Researchers try to identify various internal and external factors affecting people’s development throughout their life. Father absenteeism is one of these factors. Pougnet, Serbin, Stack, Ledingham, and Schwartzman (2012) define father absenteeism as the absence of the father (any man performing the role of the father) that is the result of separation, divorce, short-term intimate relationship as well as death. Clearly, childhood experiences have a considerable impact on the way people form attachments. Hence, it is necessary to deepen the understanding of females’ opinions concerning their intimate relationships and their relationships with their children (hypothetical or actual) as well as their childhood without the father figure. The field of General Psychology will be enriched since new insights into the development of attachments during females’ adulthood will be provided.

It is noteworthy that the issues associated with the outcomes of the absent father have received a lot of attention. Some researchers stress that the absent father is the reoccurring problem in disadvantaged communities and women often repeat their mothers’ destiny (Pougnet et al., 2012). However, some claim that father absenteeism often has different outcomes. For instance, some females become unable to develop effective intimate relationships while others try to create families no matter what and be a model mother for their children (Makusha et al., 2013). Wallerstein et al. (2013) examine the way adult women go through their divorce experiences, and the role their children play in this process. The focus is often on the relationships between mothers and daughters (Wallerstein et al., 2013). It is clear that when analyzing father absenteeism, researchers tend to focus on such aspects as females’ sexual development, their ability to develop intimate relationships, and their relationships with their children.

Nonetheless, there is a specific gap in the literature when it comes to the link between these spheres. An important area to explore (and the research problem of this study) is the way adult females develop their intimate relationships and their opinions on child-rearing as well as their views on some effects of their childhood experiences. It is possible to compare some perspectives of women who have or do not have children, who are married or divorced to understand whether their views differ. This understanding can help identify the particular link between the formation of attachments at earlier stages of human development and during their adulthood.

Makusha, T., Richter, L., Knight, L., Van Rooyen, H., & Bhana, D. (2013). “The good and the bad?” Childhood experiences with fathers and their influence on women’s expectations and men’s experiences of fathering in rural KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa. Fathering: A Journal of Theory, Research, and Practice About Men as Fathers , 11 (2), 138-158.

Pougnet, E., Serbin, L.A., Stack, D.M., Ledingham, J.E., & Schwartzman, A.E. (2012). The intergenerational continuity of fathers’ absence in a socioeconomically disadvantaged sample. Journal of Marriage and Family , 74 (3), 540-555.

Wallerstein, J., Lewis, J., & Packer Rosenthal, S. (2013). Mothers and their children after divorce: Report from a 25-year longitudinal study. Psychoanalytic Psychology , 30 (2), 167-184.

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Screen Rant

The bear theory reveals kbl's dark role in 1 mysterious character's absence.

The Bear has left many unanswered question about Carmy’s father and the mysterious KBL group, but one theory suggests the two may be connected.

Over the course of two seasons, The Bear has left many unanswered questions as Carmy, Sydney, and the others at The Original Beef Chicagoland try desperately to get the restaurant off the ground, and two particularly mysterious questions may actually be connected. In The Bear season 2 , audiences get a peek inside the family life of Carmy and his siblings, and frankly, the episode "Fishes," offers both incredible insights and even more huge questions. In particular, viewers are left wondering what happened to Carmy's father , and about the relationship between Carmy and his "uncles," particularly Lee.

Since The Bear has left so many loose ends open for future seasons to answer, there are countless fan theories about what actually happened . Some answers may seem more obvious than others. For example, it would be very easy to assume that Carmy's father died somehow, which would explain his absence. And when it comes to the KBL, the group made up of Uncle Jimmy, Carmy's father, and Uncle Lee, it seems pretty obvious that they were involved in some sort of criminal activity. However, though these answers may seem easy, there may be a deeper story to them .

10 Biggest Theories About What Happens In The Bear Season 3

The bear theory reveals carmy's father is in prison (& it might be kbl's fault), kbl might have sent carmy's dad to prison.

Though The Bear has yet to reveal answers about Carmy's dad or KBL, there is a fan theory that suggests the two are interconnected. The Bear theory implies that Carmy's father is in prison due to his illegal actions with KBL . More specifically, the theory suggests Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Lee threw Carmy's dad under the bus , resulting in him going to jail and them getting off scot-free. Though The Bear has never outright said that KBL is doing anything illegal, it is implied that they are shady, and therefore, being arrested for this business makes sense.

The logistics of this theory mostly work when examining The Bear's flashbacks and relationships. In The Bear's "Fishes," Mikey and Uncle Lee clearly don't like each other, and a part of this could be due to Lee's role in sending Carmy's dad to jail. Mikey might also be the only one that knows about what KBL did. This would explain why Carmy and Sugar seem to have a good relationship with Uncle Jimmy. It could also be that Lee was the only one responsible for Carmy's dad's fate , whereas Jimmy had nothing to do with it.

How This Theory Changes The Stakes For The Bear Season 3

Carmy is too close to kbl.

If Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Lee truly are responsible for sending Carmy's dad to jail, then that makes The Bear season 3 even more complicated. This is mainly because Carmy and Sugar owe Uncle Jimmy a large amount of money for the restaurant. And though they seemingly have a good relationship with Jimmy, owing him money puts them in a tough position that feels uncomfortably close to where Mikey was before he died, and perhaps where Carmy's dad was before he disappeared.

Carmy and Sugar may be following in their family's bad footsteps without even realizing it.

A potential route that this story could take, which would bring everything to light, is that Carmy and Sugar cannot pay Jimmy back. Though Jimmy has often been a supportive character in the series, a switch may be flipped when Carmy cannot get the money he owes . Perhaps Jimmy's personality would change, and he would put pressure on Carmy and Sugar to pay him back. Uncle Lee could even make an appearance in the present day. This situation would then t hrow a light on the fact that KBL is dangerous and may have had something to do with Carmy's dad .

KBL May Have Played An Even More Sinister Role In Carmy's Father's Absence

Kbl could have killed carmy's father.

Though jail is a fairly reasonable fate for Carmy's dad, it could also be true that he is dead, but not in any natural way. Due to KBL's dangerous ties, it could be that KBL killed Carmy's father for some reason . This theory seems much less likely, but it is still a possibility due to how little audiences actually know about the partnership. If they were involved in some truly illegal things, then murder may not be so far off . It could also be that Carmy's father was killed because of his connection to KBL rather than by KBL itself.

The Bear season 3 is set to premiere in June 2024.

Overall, The Bear season 3 has many questions to answer, and it is unclear whether they will. The show is on such a popularity streak at the moment that it may take its time providing answers, focusing more heavily on the restaurant and other character dynamics. Even so, there is no doubt that, someday, The Bear will explain the fate of Carmy's father, and undoubtedly, the series must give more information on what KBL is.

Senior NPR editor resigns after accusing outlet of liberal bias

An editor for National Public Radio resigned Wednesday just days after he inflamed the ongoing culture war about mainstream media with an essay about what he considers the news outlet’s liberal leanings.

Uri Berliner, who was a senior business editor, wrote an essay for the right-leaning online publication The Free Press in which he said he believes NPR is losing the public’s trust. 

NPR, a nonprofit radio network, has an “absence of viewpoint diversity,” he wrote in the essay, which was published April 9. It “has always had a liberal bent,” but now an “open-minded spirit no longer exists within NPR,” he wrote.  

The essay triggered a wave of scrutiny of NPR from conservatives, some of whom responded to it with calls to defund the news organization, which receives federal funding through the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. NPR says on its website that federal funding is “essential” to NPR but that “less than 1% of NPR’s annual operating budget comes in the form of grants from CPB and federal agencies and departments.”

In a resignation statement on X, Berliner briefly elaborated on the reason for his departure, which came days after NPR reported that it had suspended him for five days without pay following the op-ed’s release. 

NPR’s chief business editor, Pallavi Gogoi, had told Berliner about its requirement to secure approval before he appeared in outside media, according to NPR’s report.

“I don’t support calls to defund NPR,” Berliner wrote. “I respect the integrity of my colleagues and wish for NPR to thrive and do important journalism.  But I cannot work in a newsroom where I am disparaged by a new CEO whose divisive views confirm the very problems at NPR I cite in my Free Press essay.” 

Berliner did not immediately respond to a request for comment Wednesday. A representative for NPR said it “does not comment on individual personnel matters.” 

Berliner’s essay gained traction on X, with many conservatives homing in on his thoughts about NPR’s political makeup. He wrote: “In D.C., where NPR is headquartered and many of us live, I found 87 registered Democrats working in editorial positions and zero Republicans. None.” 

He also criticized NPR’s coverage, or lack thereof, of certain stories, such as the Mueller report, Hunter Biden’s laptop, the origins of Covid-19 and systemic racism following the murder of George Floyd.

High-profile supporters of Berliner’s essay, including former President Donald Trump and X owner Elon Musk, shared criticism of NPR and its CEO, Katherine Maher. 

“NO MORE FUNDING FOR NPR, A TOTAL SCAM! EDITOR SAID THEY HAVE NO REPUBLICANS, AND IS ONLY USED TO ‘DAMAGE TRUMP.’ THEY ARE A LIBERAL DISINFORMATION MACHINE. NOT ONE DOLLAR!!!” Trump wrote on Truth Social on April 10.

Musk wrote on X that the “head of NPR hates the Constitution of the USA” in response to a clip of Maher discussing the challenges in fighting disinformation and honoring the First Amendment right to free speech.

Meanwhile, some journalists at NPR pushed back against Berliner’s accusations.

“Morning Edition” co-host Steve Inskeep shared his take in a post on his Substack newsletter , saying he believes Berliner failed to “engage anyone who had a different point of view.”

“Having been asked, I answered: my colleague’s article was filled with errors and omissions,” he wrote, adding, “The errors do make NPR look bad, because it’s embarrassing that an NPR journalist would make so many.”

NPR’s chief news executive, Edith Chapin, also denied Berliner’s assessment of the newsroom in a memo to staff members, according to NPR .

“We’re proud to stand behind the exceptional work that our desks and shows do to cover a wide range of challenging stories,” she wrote. “We believe that inclusion — among our staff, with our sourcing, and in our overall coverage — is critical to telling the nuanced stories of this country and our world.”

Maher also said Monday in a statement to NPR : “In America everyone is entitled to free speech as a private citizen. What matters is NPR’s work and my commitment as its CEO: public service, editorial independence, and the mission to serve all of the American public. NPR is independent, beholden to no party, and without commercial interests.”

Daysia Tolentino is a culture and trends reporter for NBC News.

Tallulah Willis honors father Bruce with her TCM Classic Film Festival outfit

T allulah Willis found a sweet way honor her father, Bruce Willis, during a “Pulp Fiction” screening at TCM Film Festival Thursday.

The former child actress, now 30, walked the red carpet alongside her father’s wife, Emma Heming, at the opening night of the festival that featured a special 30th anniversary screening of the Quentin Tarantino film, in which Bruce starred.

But despite the star’s absence from the event, Tallulah made sure his presence was still felt with a baseball cap with “Bruce” embroidered in white letters.

She paired the look with a yellow T-shirt, black blazer and a pair of ripped jeans. Her stepmom dressed in a classic look with a black Dior suit and satin blouse with black pumps.

His co-stars John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Harvey Keitel and Samuel L. Jackson were also in attendance.

During the screening’s panel discussion, host Ben Mankiewicz paid tribute to Bruce, 69, who was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia in 2023 .

“Bruce is great in this,” he said. “Here in the audience tonight is Bruce’s wife, Emma, and one of his daughters Tallulah Belle Willis.”

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Last month, Heming opened up about Bruce’s diagnosis following a report that the actor has “no more joy” in his life amid his struggle with dementia.

“Now, I can just tell you, that is far from the truth,” the British model and actress said on Instagram. “I need society and whoever’s writing these stupid headlines to stop scaring people.”

“Stop scaring people to think that once they get a diagnosis of some kind of neurocognitive disease that –that’s it. ‘It’s over. Let’s pack it up — Nothing else to see here. We’re done.’ No, it’s the complete opposite of that,” she said.

Heming married the “Die Hard” actor in March 2009. They share two daughters, Evelyn, 9, and Mabel, 12. Bruce is also father to daughters Rumer Willis, 35, Scout Willis, 32, whom he shares with actress Demi Moore, 61.

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Laufey, Gen Z’s Pop Jazz Icon, Sings for the Anxious Generation

The gen z ‘it girl’ singer on the painful push and pull of young love..

This transcript was created using speech recognition software. While it has been reviewed by human transcribers, it may contain errors. Please review the episode audio before quoting from this transcript and email [email protected] with any questions.

Love now and for always.

Did you fall in love?

Just tell her I love her.

Love is stronger than anything.

[SIGHS]: For the love.

And I love you more than anything.

(SINGING) What is love?

Here’s to love.

From “The New York Times,” I’m Anna Martin. This is “Modern Love,” and today I’m talking to singer songwriter Laufey.

(SINGING) Don’t you notice how

I get quiet when there’s no one else around

You might think from the warm, mature tone in her voice, the jazz and bossa nova influence, that Laufey’s from another generation, but she’s only 25 years old.

(SINGING) Look at me

I’m as hopeless as a kitten

She got her start in the most Gen Z way possible — on TikTok. During the pandemic, Laufey started posting videos of herself playing guitar, asking her followers what they wanted to hear from her.

Does anybody else feel like everyone around them is falling in love? I wrote a song about it.

Her viral videos led to her debut album, called “Everything I Know About Love,” then a second record called “Bewitched,” which she won a Grammy for this year. And now, she’s on a nationwide tour. So even though Laufey’s music sounds so nostalgic, it’s clearly of the moment. Laufey is speaking to her mostly young fans about experiences they’re likely going through right now — first love, first heartbreak, feeling like you’re someone’s second pick. And through her music, Laufey sang, I’m right here. I’m with you.

(SINGING) Everybody’s falling in love And I’m falling behind

Today, Laufey reads an essay called “An Anxious Person Tries to Be Chill,” by Coco Mellors. And Laufey opens up about how anxiety manifests in her own relationships and how she turns that anxiety into art.

(SINGING) Stepped outside and burned my skin

My life won’t go my way

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Laufey, welcome to “Modern Love.”

Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited to be here.

Laufey, throughout your career, you’ve cultivated these really direct relationships with your fans. You talk with them on TikTok. You respond to them on Instagram. And recently, you’ve been connecting with them in a much more literary way. You’re doing a book club. What are you reading right now?

Well, we are reading “The Midnight Library” by Matt Haig. Last month, we read “Circe” by Madeline Miller. It’s a really fun way to connect with the fans kind of in a different way and have storytelling as a way to connect us all together.

What makes a good story for you? That’s a big question, I know.

Big question. I think there’s a level of suspense and release to a good story. There’s some sort of unexpected twist and a release. I mean, it sounds simple, but a happy ending, right, or some sort of ending that makes sense. [LAUGHS]

Does that kind of narrative apply to your songwriting as well?

Oh, absolutely. I talk about tension and release all the time, especially in chords, right? If you hear a chord that sounds almost wrong and you move one note, and then it just resolves, that’s what we talk about as tension and release in music, and I’m all about tension and release.

Yeah, I mean, these ideas of release, of suspense, they all feel very related to the “Modern Love” essay you chose to read today. It’s by Coco Mellors. Can you tell me what it’s about?

She’s talking about falling in love with this neighbor who doesn’t really care about her and, I guess, this overarching theme of being anxiously attached. And we kind of visit her past and what has built up to this anxious attachment style. And then we kind of follow her through as she finds a more secure love.

Yeah, this piece has a lot to do with attachment theory, which I feel like everyone kind of knows at this point. But just a refresher, it divides people into three categories based on how we relate to romantic partners. There’s anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and secure attachment. And the author of this essay is definitely anxious. She’s experiencing that tension that I’m sure so many people can relate to. It’s that stress that comes when you like someone so much more than they like you.

I was going to say, I think when somebody doesn’t give us quite enough, it forms this addiction, almost, because then when we get it, we have this satisfying sense of relief. And then, of course, they drop out again, but then you’re aching for that sense of, oh, he does like me, or, oh, he will sleep with me, or he’s going to love me. And so, I think that’s kind of what we’re always itching for, that sense of love, even though it’s not really love. It’s just breadcrumbing you, almost, if that makes sense.

It does make sense. This essay begins with the author, Coco Mellors, hanging on, basically, for dear life to a guy who just wants something — the dreaded word — “casual.” Do you want to go ahead and read the essay for us?

“An Anxious Person Tries to Be Chill.”

“The year after I stopped drinking, I fell in love with my neighbor. I was 27, working as a copywriter, and living in a studio apartment on Gay Street in the West Village. He lived across the street in a larger apartment that had beautiful morning light and a mouse infestation.

One afternoon, he found me sitting on his stoop, smoking a cigarette, and sat down, looking like a young Paul Newman. We talked for a long time, during which I learned that he owned a local restaurant and had recently broken up with his girlfriend. Eventually, we headed up to his apartment, where we kissed until it felt like it was only us and the mice in his walls still awake in the whole city.

By the time he walked me back to my building, it was past midnight, and I had already decided that our wedding should be right there on Gay Street. I was calculating what kind of city permits that would require when he placed a hand on my shoulder. ‘I really like you,’ he said, ‘but the restaurant keeps me pretty busy, and I just want to be clear that I’m not looking for a relationship right now.’

I looked up at him under the yellow glow of the street lamps and did what so many hopeful single people have done before me. I told a lie, wishing it were true. ‘I’m not looking for anything serious either,’ I said. His face softened. ‘That’s great. So we can just keep it chill?’ I smiled. ‘I’m a very chill person. You’ll see.’

He would not see. What followed was a two-year tug of war. He could not commit, and I could not accept it. I tried every tool in my arsenal to get him to be my boyfriend. Nothing could change the fact that we didn’t want the same thing. Instead of freeing ourselves from this mismatch, one of us would eventually leave our light on, knowing the other would see it from the street below and send a text to come up.

I was repeating a familiar pattern. I grew up chasing my father’s love, a man who, like my neighbor, could be affectionate or absent depending on the day. Now, I was pursuing my neighbor with the same fervor. The more space he wanted, the closer I longed to be. I pretended to have no needs, then felt distraught when he didn’t meet them. I would get high off of his attention, then crash when he withdrew.

I would later learn this dynamic is called an anxious avoidant relationship. At the time, I only knew it hurt. And for the first time in my adult life, I didn’t have alcohol to numb me. So I went to an ashram upstate and prayed for the obsession to lift. I changed his name in my phone to Prosecco, so I would remember how emotionally hungover I felt after seeing him.

I went to a weekly meditation group led by a Buddhist teacher and, at the risk of sounding dramatic, changed my life forever. He taught me that anxious and avoidant people often connect quickly and powerfully, but the relationships are a challenge at best and doomed at worst. ‘You need to be with someone secure,’ he said. ‘You mean boring.’ He smiled. ‘Security isn’t boring. You’ll see.’

Eventually it was obsessing over my neighbor that grew boring. I stopped leaving my light on all night, got some proper sleep, found a therapist, and became open to the possibility of meeting someone else. That someone was Henry, a friend of a friend I met at a film screening. He had freckles all over his face and a big, unselfconscious smile.

He was obsessed with being outdoors, loved to cook, and was a moderate drinker.

By contrast, I considered a trip to Central Park hiking, got my meals — sushi, cupcakes, pre-cut fruit — at the Gourmet Deli, and wasn’t moderate at anything. I liked him instantly, but I didn’t fantasize about marrying him.

For one of our early dates, Henry made reservations at three restaurants and let me pick which one to go to. On another, we saw a documentary about the evils of salmon farming. In the following months, we met up once or twice a week to eat, go to the theater, or see an exhibition. There was no waiting up late for him, no ‘will he, won’t he show up.’

I was used to downing a person like a shot, but with Henry, I sipped. He surprised me with his juggling skills, and later, about his role as the peacekeeper between his older brother and younger sister. Later, he told me about his friend who was killed in a hit and run during the first year of university, the shock and the grief of it. Each new thing I learned felt precious.

Still, I was weary. Where was the high, the excitement? I thought falling for someone should be like having an orgasm and a heart attack at once. ‘Shouldn’t it be more difficult than this?’ I asked my therapist. ‘In real life, good things are allowed to be easy,’ she said. ‘Trust it.’

A few months into seeing each other, I gave Henry a book of illustrated animal facts, expecting him to appreciate it as a thoughtful, if not particularly noteworthy, gesture. ‘This is the best gift ever,’ he said. He went through the book page by page, wondrously repeating the best facts aloud. ‘Hummingbirds flap their wings up to 200 times a second.’

Henry didn’t need things to be dramatic to feel alive because he paid attention to the small details that make life feel miraculous. His capacity for delight, his seemingly boundless sense of wonder was one of the first things I loved about him. I just didn’t know it at the time.

My earlier experiences of falling in love had felt like being stuffed in a barrel and thrown off a waterfall, a blind tumble, both euphoric and terrifying. Falling in love with Henry felt like being carried along a smooth river to sea.

It wasn’t all smooth, of course. I was still me, after all, still anxious. For the first few months, every morning that Henry left my apartment to return to his place, I would scramble out of bed and insist on walking him the one block to the subway. His departure stirred some vague panic in me, triggering the childhood fear of abandonment, of love walking out the door.

Of course, I’d never admitted that to anyone I had dated, until, one day, when Henry turned to me outside the subway entrance, gave me a funny smile, and said, ‘Why do you always want to walk me? I sense it’s important to you, but I’m not sure why.’

My first instinct was to lie, wishing it were true. Instead, I took a deep breath. ‘Actually, I have this thing when we separate where I get —’ I fluttered a hand over my chest — ‘really anxious. I think I’m afraid you won’t come back.’

Henry gave me a long look, and my heart dropped. I waited for him to dive headfirst down the subway stairs away from me. ‘I see,’ he said, taking my hand. ‘Would it make you feel less anxious if we walked around the block together one more time?’

I could have laughed with relief. I could have pressed my palms into my eyes and cried like a child. But I kept myself together and nodded. We walked once more around the block, and then he got on the subway, and I went about my day.

A year later, we moved in together. Six months after that, we got married. Today, we live in a house in Los Angeles with a small garden regularly frequented by hummingbirds. ‘Up to 200 flaps a second,’ Henry likes to remind me. ‘Isn’t that remarkable?’ ‘It is.’”

Man, if I had a nickel for every time I needed to go to an ashram upstate to get rid of a crush — am I right?

[LAUGHS]: I’m like seeing a bit of myself in this — not that I’ve gone to an ashram, but now I kind of want to.

[LAUGHS]: When we come back, how Laufey’s first ever date and first ever ghosting became the creative spark that kicked off her career. Stay with us.

So, Laufey, you just read Coco Mellor’s “Modern Love” essay, and you said that you saw yourself in her story. Tell me what parts resonated with you.

I think this feeling of anxious attachment and avoidant also I think I’ve definitely felt versions of. Sometimes the further I get into secure relationships, I expect something to go wrong.

Are you saying that you identify as slightly anxiously attached?

I think so. I thought I wasn’t, but I think I am.

[LAUGHS]: I mean, how has that showed up in your dating life?

I’ve kind of blocked out boys and dating when I was younger. I don’t know why. I guess I was just like, I’ve got to focus on school and music. And I was just so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed.

But it wasn’t until I moved to the States and moved to — I went to university in Boston that I kind of allowed myself to open up and be a young woman and date for the first time. And I remember the first time I started going on dates with this guy, and my first thought was, oh, my god. Does everybody feel like this? Because I felt insane.

[LAUGHS]: Oh!

I felt insane. And this first guy was definitely like this push and pull. Like, he didn’t really care that much. But I remember I would receive a text from him. I was like, oh, my god. This is like a movie! And then he ended up ghosting me, and I was so —

— hurt. I was so sad. And every single feeling I was feeling, whether it was the excitement after a date or the anxiety about receiving a text or the hurt of being ghosted, the only thought I had throughout the whole thing was, does everybody feel like this? Because I feel insane.

[LAUGHS]: I know exactly what you mean. The first time I felt a real connection, I remember riding the train and looking at the other people on the train and thinking, have all of you felt this way, too? Because it feels like a medical event. Like, I’m not OK.

No, I genuinely felt — it feels like a medical event. I remember I’d look out at the people — this is so dramatic. I had a dorm room that looked over Boston. And I’d like look down at the people and be like, so everybody goes through this?

[LAUGHS]: Wait, I love that. You’re looking at all these people and you’re like, every single one of you has experienced this, too?

Every single one of you has experienced a version of this. And it’s true, and that’s why my first song I released was called “Street by Street.”

I wrote it as I looked out — it’s so cute. It’s like my first little baby song. But I looked out on the street and saw the people. And I was like, I’m gonna reclaim this city because this boy had ruined the city for me. And that was the first song I wrote.

I absolutely want to play this song, but first, I have to ask, like, does this mean that Boston is ruined for you forever? You can never return to that city again?

No, it’s OK. I’ve reclaimed it.

I’ve made my triumphant return. I love Boston.

OK, that’s a big relief for your Boston fans. Let’s play the song that let you reclaim an entire city. It’s called “Street by Street.”

(SINGING) Step by step

Brick by brick

I’m reclaiming what’s mine

This city is way too small to give away to just one guy

What is it about the potential of a relationship, a crush, a situationship, as some people call it, that’s so creatively inspiring to you?

The songs we listened to growing up are often about this deep heartbreak or falling deeply in love. My experience has been everything in between, the confusion in between, the, “oh, does he love me today, or he won’t love me tomorrow.”

So as I became a writer and started illustrating these feelings through song, I think I really zeroed in on these feelings that I felt like hadn’t been represented in songs as much because those are the lyrics, those are the songs that you hear, and you’re like, wow. She feels like that, and I feel like that. So maybe I’m not that crazy. It’s validating. Even reading what Coco wrote, reading that is very validating. Someone else feels that way.

Yeah, I mean, Coco’s piece reminds me of how I felt in my own relationships, the toxic ones, but also the healthy ones. I always feel some amount of anxiety. And I know that my friends do, too.

I think a lot of women do feel anxiously attached, right? And then, the fear that comes along with it is being crazy, right? It’s like when Coco is seeing Henry away at the subway station, and she tells him I’m scared you won’t come back. She knows that it’s irrational, but she’s still scared that he’s gonna think she’s crazy and then he’s not gonna come back.

Right, but it’s like she’s not being crazy. She points to her addiction, her relationship with her father, all these things that influence her anxious attachment style. And throughout the piece, she’s working really hard to get herself to a secure place and embrace her connection with Henry, the guy who loves hummingbirds. But in the back of her mind, she has this fear that a stable relationship will be boring. Have you ever had that same fear?

Yeah, I’m also deep on the TikTok that talks about safe love being boring.

So I see it all the time. I mean, in my experience with the safe love I’ve received, it isn’t boring. I see why people think that. I think a lot of women don’t recognize safe love because it’s boring in comparison to the push and pull of the guy that’s never going to give you enough. But — this is so cheesy, but safe love is joyous. It’s happy, you know?

I don’t think that’s cheesy. Do you think that’s cheesy? I think that’s real.

Safe love is stable. Let’s use that word instead. It’s stable. So, yeah, you don’t have as much of the tension, the tension and release. But it’s stable and it’s beautiful.

In your experience, is that type of love harder to write a song about? We spoke about the sort of creative inspiration of the more toxic type of love, but what about the secure type?

It is harder to write about. It is. Once you do write about it, it is the most beautiful product, but there are less questions. In my songwriting, it’s a lot of questions being answered, a lot of them about love as well. And when you have a secure type of love, you’re not thinking all the time, like, oh, my god, do you love me? Or why are you doing this? Why did this happen? Why are you looking at her that way? There are no questions. It’s secure. So I definitely think it’s harder.

Do you ever worry that a safe relationship wouldn’t give you enough material for your art?

[CHUCKLING]

No, although a lot of — oh, my god. I’ve seen so many TikToks and tweets where people are like, oh, Laufey can never get in a relationship or else we’ll —

— stop getting songs. We’ll stop getting albums. And I’m like, hey! Please. I’m like, don’t you wish me happiness?

[LAUGHS]: OK, we’re gonna prove all those fans wrong. Is there a song of yours that we can point to that’s about a secure relationship?

Well, the first love song I wrote, called “Best Friend.” I’d never been in love before, and I wanted to write a love song. And I thought about the most secure type of love I’ve ever had in my life. And that is the love I have for my twin sister, and then the love my mother and father have for each other. And I asked my mother, how do when you’ve found the one? And my mother was like, well, your father is my best friend. So I wrote a song called “Best Friend.”

Aw. I mean, this song, I love it because it’s really an ode to secure relationships of all different types. Let’s go out on that song, Laufey. This is “Best Friend.”

(SINGING) I have never tolerated someone for so long

I’ve never laughed so much

I haven’t written a sad song

There’s no one else I’d rather fall asleep with

And dream with

You’re my best friend in the world

Laufey, thank you so much for this conversation. It was such a blast to talk to you.

Thank you. I’ve had so much fun. I literally could talk about love and relationships. It is something — it really is the one thing that everybody goes through, and nobody really has the answer to. And I love trying to get to the bottom of it. And I know that I will never get to the bottom of it.

[SCATTING]:

Next week, I talk with model and writer Emily Ratajkowski. After her very public divorce, Emily’s now on a mission to shift negative assumptions people may have about her relationship status, starting with her wedding ring.

I basically took the diamonds that were in the original ring and made them into two different rings, which I kind of playfully called divorce rings. I really liked the idea of a woman not having to be ashamed of leaving a relationship, but even just like of having a past.

“Modern Love” is produced by Julia Botero, Christina Djossa, Reva Goldberg, Davis Land, and Emily Lang. It’s edited by our executive producer Jen Poyant, Reva Goldberg, and Davis Land. The “Modern Love” theme music is by Dan Powell. Original music by Dan Powell, Pat McCusker, and Rowan Niemisto.

This episode was mixed by Daniel Ramirez. Our show is recorded by Maddy Masiello. Digital production by Mahima Chablani and Nell Gallogly. The “Modern Love” column is edited by Daniel Jones. Miya Lee is the editor of “Modern Love” projects. I’m Anna Martin. Thanks for listening.

• April 24, 2024   •   28:31 Laufey, Gen Z’s Pop Jazz Icon, Sings for the Anxious Generation
• April 17, 2024   •   35:54 Why John Magaro of ‘Past Lives’ Could Never Love a Picky Eater
• April 10, 2024   •   29:18 Esther Perel on What the Other Woman Knows
• April 3, 2024   •   27:31 The Second Best Way to Get Divorced, According to Maya Hawke
• March 27, 2024   •   32:38 How to Be Real With Your Kids
• March 20, 2024   •   32:14 Why Samin Nosrat Is Now ‘Fully YOLO’
• March 13, 2024   •   32:32 Brittany Howard Sings Through the Pangs of New Love
• March 6, 2024   •   33:21 Novelist Celeste Ng on the Big Power of Little Things
• February 28, 2024   •   37:46 Three Powerful Lessons About Love
• February 23, 2024   •   33:45 Modern Love at the Movies: Our Favorite Oscar-Worthy Love Stories
• February 21, 2024   •   25:21 A Politics Reporter Walks Into a Singles Mixer
• February 14, 2024   •   28:39 Un-Marry Me!

Hosted by Anna Martin

Produced by Julia Botero ,  Christina Djossa ,  Reva Goldberg ,  Emily Lang and Davis Land

Edited by Jen Poyant

Engineered by Daniel Ramirez

Original music by Dan Powell and Pat McCusker

Listen and follow Modern Love Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music

‘the songs we listen to growing up are often about this deep heartbreak, or falling deeply in love. my experience has been everything in between, the confusion in between.’.

Laufey, the 25-year-old singer-songwriter, has risen to prominence by taking the trials of today’s dating world — casual relationships, no labels and seemingly endless swiping on apps — and turning them into timeless love songs.

Today, Laufey reads Coco Mellors’s essay, “ An Anxious Person Tries to Be Chill ,” which is about a woman trying to work through her deep-seated relationship anxieties and attachment issues in an on-again, off-again situationship. Laufey says she, too, has been an anxious partner. While she thinks a toxic relationship, like the one in the essay, can make for a great love song, she now knows secure relationships can make beautiful music, too.

Links to transcripts of episodes generally appear on these pages within a week.

Modern Love is hosted by Anna Martin and produced by Julia Botero, Reva Goldberg, Emily Lang and Christina Djossa. The show is edited by Davis Land and Jen Poyant, our executive producer. The show is mixed by Daniel Ramirez and recorded by Maddy Masiello and Nick Pitman. It features original music by Pat McCusker and Dan Powell. Our theme music is by Dan Powell.

Special thanks to Larissa Anderson, Kate LoPresti, Lisa Tobin, Daniel Jones, Miya Lee, Mahima Chablani, Nell Gallogly, Jeffrey Miranda, Isabella Anderson, Reyna Desai, Renan Borelli, Nina Lassam and Julia Simon.

Thoughts? Email us at [email protected] . Want more from Modern Love ? Read past stories . Watch the TV series and sign up for the newsletter . We also have swag at the NYT Store and two books, “ Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption ” and “ Tiny Love Stories: True Tales of Love in 100 Words or Less .”

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