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17 Sex Terms You Were Too Embarrassed to Ask About, Defined

Especially with the rise of social media, new terms are coined all the time, including in the arena of sexuality. For instance, while the word "cuck" has become an insult hurled by the right-wing trolls, it's related to cuckolding, which can (and should) be a hot and consensual sexual activity that all involved parties enjoy. If you weren't quite sure of what that particular word's definition is — or you're unclear on terms like felching, docking, or queening, for that matter — I've written a near-comprehensive guide.

Additionally, if you're wondering if any given sex act is really a thing, keep in mind the wise words of sex educator Jimanekia Eborn : " Everything is a thing, is basically what I have learned working in sex education." In other words, if you can dream it, you can do it — or at least rest assured that someone else has probably tried to. With that being said, here are 17 sex terms you probably didn't learn in sex ed, explained.

1. Pearl Necklace

As Samantha explained to Charlotte on a memorable episode of Sex and the City , a pearl necklace is what results when someone ejaculates on or around their partner's neck or chest (yes, so that the semen is roughly where a pearl necklace is when worn). If you're not someone who enjoys wearing this kind of pearl necklace, feel free to stick to Charlotte's preferred version, which you can find at Bloomingdale's.

2. Impact Play

Impact play refers to any impact on the body done for sexual gratification, from spanking to whips and crops . When engaging in impact play, remember to pick a safe word and continually check in with one another to ensure the level of pain is desirable. It's also important to stick to areas on the body which are safe to spank or tap on with a crop, which means fleshy, meaty areas away from the organs, such as the butt and thighs. If this sounds appealing to you, be sure to check out my guide to first-timer BDSM tips .

Dungeon Dwellers And Domination Enthusiasts Descend On DomconLA

3. squirting.

Squirting is when a person with a vagina ejaculates fluid during sex. Eborn says she is frequently asked if squirting is a myth, and she's only too happy to share that it is not, nor is it "just peeing." Research suggests that the fluid involved comes partly from Skene's glands, also known as the "female prostate" — but as with many subjects that don't focus on a penis, more research is required. Not everyone squirts, and among those who do, some squirt from clitoral stimulation and some squirt from G-spot stimulation (that is, stimulation of the sensitive front wall of the vagina).

You may be familiar with cognitive behavioral therapy , a helpful form of talk therapy. However, within the world of kink, CBT refers to "cock and ball torture." This form of CBT can be therapeutic for people with penises interested in having a dominatrix inflict pain on their genitals, through the use of ropes, whips, or even chastity devices.

Pegging refers to when a woman penetrates a man anally with a strap-on dildo . There's a now-infamous pegging scene in a Broad City episode that recently repopularized the term.

6. Queening

Queening is just a glamorous name for sitting on someone's face. There's nothing more to it than that.

7. Scissoring

Scissoring, also called tribadism or tribbing, is most often thought of as the territory of same-sex, female-identified couples. It's usually considered to be two partners rubbing their vulvas against each other's, but can also be defined as one partner rubbing their vulva against other body parts of their partner's (including the thighs and butt), as Autostraddle pointed out . In so-called "classic" scissor position, partners' legs intersect so that they look like — you guessed it — scissors. Porn (especially porn made for the male gaze) has probably hyped up scissoring as a more popular act among women who have sex with women than it actually is in real life, but plenty of people love it.

Women in lingerie touching each other

8. edge play.

When you first hear the term "edge play," it's easy to assume it refers to extreme sex acts that literally involve an edge of some sort, such as knives or needles (and yes, some people consensually incorporate those things into sex). But no sharp objects need to be involved in this type of edge play. The term means kinky sexual acts that push your boundaries (consensually) to the edge, which can be exhilarating for some. What is considered edge play differs from person to person, as we all have our own boundaries and limits. For some, psychological play such as name-calling may be edge play. If you are going to try pushing your boundaries , please do so with a partner you trust and use a safe word.

Figging is one of those sexual acts that are so interesting it's fun to know what it means, but you have to wonder if anyone actually does it. Figging is the act of inserting a piece of peeled ginger into someone's butthole, which would burn, sting, and be quite painful. Figging allegedly originated as a (non-sexual) form of corporal punishment on female prisoners by the Greek and the Roman empires. These days, the term also can refer to the general infliction of consensual pain on the anus.

10. Aftercare

Aftercare is a sexual practice that everyone should be doing, whether you're having kinky sex or vanilla sex. It's a term created by the kink community and simply means checking in with your partner(s) after sex to make sure all parties felt good and safe about what just went down and taking care of one another emotionally and physically. This can mean cuddling, bringing ice to the submissive partners if there are any spanking bruises, and talking about what you liked or what you didn't like. It really just means checking in post-sex, and if anything did happen that one or all parties felt weird about, making sure it doesn't happen the next time.

11. Felching

To felch is to suck up semen out of an orifice (using a straw is optional). For instance, someone may ejaculate inside their partner's anus and then suck their own semen out of the anus with their mouth; they then may or may not swallow. (Keep in mind that exchanging fluids in this way is associated with the risk of STIs , including HIV.)

12. Bukkake

Bukkake is both a sex act and popular genre of porn in which multiple men, typically three or more, ejaculate all over a woman.

13. Docking

"Docking is when two uncircumcised [people with penises] get together," Eborn explains. "[The first] pulls his foreskin back and holds it while [the second] stretches [theirs] open and outward as far as possible over the head and shaft of [the first partner's] penis." She says she is frequently asked if this act is real and possible, and her response is that with enough imagination and determination, most things are. (That said, remember that comfort and safety should take priority in all sexual encounters, no matter how creative.)

14. Cuckolding

Cuckolding is when a person in a relationship stands by as their partner has sex with someone else. There are many ways to cuck: The "cuckold" may look on while tied up in a corner, or the cuckold's partner may go out on their own, have sex, and report back. There is usually an element of humiliation involved: For instance, a wife may tell her husband all about how her other partner has a massive penis and can satisfy her in ways her husband cannot. Yes, some men are turned on by being told they suck in bed. (Important note: It's totally possible to share sexy fantasies about cuckolding with your partner without actually doing it.)

Professional dominatrixes often get requests to do cuckolding sessions in which they may have their submissive watch as they have sex with a different partner or tell the submissive to buy them lingerie for them to wear on a date with someone else. While cuckolding is primarily associated with married, opposite-sex couples, people can enjoy cuckolding play regardless of gender, orientation, or relationship status.

Me, My Boyfriend And My Slave

15. water sports.

According to safe-for-work Google searches, water sports are aquatic activities such as jet-skiing. In the bedroom, however, the term refers to the incorporation of urine in erotic play. A golden shower, for example, is when one partner pees on the other. If you want to try this kind of play for the first time but are a little nervous, peeing on your partner (or being peed on) in the shower is a good way to dip your toe in the water, metaphorically speaking.

16. Fisting

Fisting is when one partner inserts their entire hand or fist into the other partner's vagina (or anus, for the highly talented). If you enjoy intense penetration but are dating someone with a small penis, remember that they have an entire fist to use on you. (And no, a penchant for fisting won't make your vagina loose ( nor will sex in general , so put that myth out of your head).

If you'd like to try it, go slow and use plenty of lube ; the fister can also wear a latex glove to keep things extra sanitary and help the hand slide into the orifice. And as with any sex act, enthusiastic consent and in-the-moment communication are key to enjoyment by all parties.

Medicine. Medical staff putting on latex gloves. Germany, Europe

17. queefing.

OK, so this one may not be a sex act, exactly, but it frequently happens during sex. Queefing is when air escapes from the vagina, often during or after penetration, and makes a farting sound. It's a form of flatulence, and it's totally normal. "At one point in time, it happens to all of us. We laugh [about it] to keep from being embarrassed," Eborn says.

Read more stories about sexuality and exploration:

11 of the Most Common Sexual Fetishes

What You Need to Know Before Having a Threesome

BDSM Sex Tips to Try If You're a Total Beginner

Now, watch our wellness editor try out flavored lube:

Don't forget to follow Allure on Instagram and Twitter .

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es•say

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• Meaning of essayed

essayed ( English)

• Simple past tense and past participle of essay

This is the meaning of essay :

essay ( English)

Pronunciation.

• Rhymes: -ɛseɪ

Origin & history

• A written composition of moderate length exploring a particular issue or subject.
• 2013-01 , Katie L. Burke, Ecological Dependency , American Scientist , Vol 101, number 1, page 64: " In his first book since the 2008 essay collection Natural Acts: A Sidelong View of Science and Nature , David Quammen looks at the natural world from yet another angle: the search for the next human pandemic, what epidemiologists call “the next big one.” "
• ( obsolete ) A test , experiment ; an assay .
• ( now rare ) An attempt .
• 1988 , James McPherson, Battle Cry of Freedom , Oxford 2003, p. 455: This was Lee's first essay in the kind of offensive-defensive strategy that was to become his hallmark.
• ( dated , transitive ) To try .
• 1900 , Charles W. Chesnutt , The House Behind the Cedars , Chapter II, He retraced his steps to the front gate, which he essayed to open.
• ( intransitive ) To move forth, as into battle.

Automatically generated practical examples in English:

Having essayed the role of a politician in several Kannada TV serials, he carries his love of dialogue and punch lines to the House and doesn’t skip a beat while berating members or making a point from the chair. The Times of India, 15 July 2019

Royal Challengers Bangalore batsman Aaron Finch on Wednesday praised debutant Devdutt Padikkal who essayed a spectacular fifty against Sunrisers Hyderabad on Monday. The Times of India, 23 September 2020

Their new midfield enforcer displayed all the poise and grace of Lennie from Of Mice and Men as essayed by Bernard Bresslaw on rollerskates, and was hooked at half-time. The Guardian, 13 September 2021

▾  Further examples

‘City of Joy’ was adapted for a film, directed by Roland Joffe and starring the late Om Puri and Patrick Swayze among others. Om Puri essayed the role of a rickshaw puller, one of the two protagonists in the film. The Times of India, 5 December 2022

Thrice round the neck with longing I essayed / to clasp the phantom in a wild delight; / thrice, vainly clasped, the visionary shade / mocked me embracing, and was lost to sight, / swift as a winged wind or slumber of the night. Tatoeba.org Sentence 6893130

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Cite this page : "essayed" – WordSense Online Dictionary (12th April, 2024) URL: https://www.wordsense.eu/essayed/

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essayene (Norwegian Bokmål)

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essayer (English)

essayera (French)

essayerai (French)

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How do you spell volvere? , panuhot

To 'Essay' or 'Assay'?

You know what an essay is. It's that piece you had to write in school, hopefully not (but probably) the night before it was due, about a subject such as What Freedom Means to You—at least five pages, double-spaced, and don't even try to get away with anything larger than a 12-point font. (Kudos for thinking to tweak the margins, though.)

Remember the difference and get an 'A' for effort.

You might also know that essay can be a verb, with its most common meaning being "to try, attempt, or undertake":

A very close approach to the evil of Idi Amin is essayed in Giles Foden's 1998 novel The Last King of Scotland , whose narrator is the Scottish personal physician to the dictator. — Norman Rush, The New York Review of Books , 7 Oct. 2004 The principal accidents she remembers, before last summer's, involved chipping a couple of teeth while, as a fifth grader, she was essaying a back flip off a diving board,... — E. J. Kahn, Jr., The New Yorker , 17 Aug. 1987

The verb assay , meanwhile, is used to mean "to test or evaluate" and can be applied to anything from laboratory samples to contest entries:

He bounced from job to job, working on a shrimp boat and later for Pan American Laboratories assaying chemicals coming in from Mexico. — Steve Clark, The Brownville Herald , 21 Apr. 2017 "Each burger will be assayed by visitors and a panel of judges, including local chefs Jen Knox, Gina Sansonia, Judith Able, Bret Hauser, Camilo Cuartas and Peter Farrand." — Phillip Valys, SouthFlorida.com , 19 May 2017

While this distinction might seem clear-cut on the surface, there exists a great deal of historical overlap between essay and assay . The two words derive from the same root—the Middle French essai , which ultimately derives from a Late Latin noun, exagium , meaning "act of weighing."

At one time, assay and essay were synonyms, sharing the meaning "try" or "attempt." In the 17th century, an essay was an effort to test or prove something:

Edmond: I hope, for my brother's justification, he wrote this but as an essay or taste of my virtue. — William Shakespeare, King Lear , 1606

For the modern noun use of essay to mean "a written exploration of a topic," we can almost certainly thank Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592), a French writer noted for working in the form. Borrowing a word that emphasized their identity as literary "attempts," Montaigne devised Essais as a title for the vignette-typed pieces that he began publishing in 1580 and spanned over a thousand pages, covering subjects as varied and wide-ranging as solitude, cannibalism, and drunkenness.

Those last ones probably won't be in the final exam.

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Definition of 'essay'

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Essay in american english, examples of 'essay' in a sentence essay, cobuild collocations essay, trends of essay.

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Definition of essay noun from the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary

• I have to write an essay this weekend.
• essay on something an essay on the causes of the First World War
• essay about somebody/something Have you done your essay about Napoleon yet?
• in an essay He made some very good points in his essay.
• Essays handed in late will not be accepted.
• Have you done your essay yet?
• He concludes the essay by calling for a corrective.
• I finished my essay about 10 o'clock last night!
• Lunch was the only time she could finish her essay assignment.
• We have to write an essay on the environment.
• You have to answer 3 out of 8 essay questions in the exam.
• the teenage winner of an essay contest
• We have to write an essay on the causes of the First World War.
• be entitled something
• be titled something
• address something
• in an/​the essay
• essay about

Join our community to access the latest language learning and assessment tips from Oxford University Press!

• essay (by somebody) a collection of essays by prominent African American writers
• essay on somebody/something The book contains a number of interesting essays on women in society.
• essay about somebody/something Pierce contributes a long essay about John F. Kennedy.
• in an essay I discuss this in a forthcoming essay.
• A version of this essay was presented at the Astronomical Society.
• In 2001 she published a collection of essays.
• The essays explore Einstein's personal development.
• the fifteen essays collected in this volume
• ‘An Essay on the Principle of Population’ by Thomas Malthus
• an essay entitled ‘Memory’
• This essay provides a comprehensive overview of the subject.
• His first essay in politics was a complete disaster.

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verb as in try, attempt

Strong matches

Weak matches

• have a crack
• have a shot
• make a run at
• put to the test
• take a stab at
• take a whack at

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Example sentences.

But nothing they essayed could fully drown out the keening of their lust to return to high office.

Lily Pendleton was known to have once essayed an erotic novel, and had read a few chapters to some of her closer friends.

Every time the Confederates essayed to charge they were met with such a storm of shot and shell that they went reeling back.

The bishop emitted lamentable cries and essayed to resist the men who were dragging him into the donjon.

She essayed to sew, and stitched up a seam wrong side out, and ran the point of the needle under her finger nail.

The rock here being of various degrees of density, the waters had essayed a thousand channels.

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On this page you'll find 32 synonyms, antonyms, and words related to essayed, such as: assay, undertake, offer, work, labor, and aim.

From Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition Copyright © 2013 by the Philip Lief Group.

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“Just Because You’re In A Movie, Doesn’t Mean You’re Rich”: Lisa Ann Walter Just Got Real About The Financial Reality Of Being An Actor

“Just because you're in a movie, doesn't mean you're rich,” Lisa Ann explained in a new interview.

BuzzFeed Staff

Every so often, a celebrity comes along to remind us all that the words “rich” and “famous” don’t always go hand in hand.

For example, in 2022, Sydney Sweeney caused a furor when she said that she couldn’t afford to take a six-month break from acting if she were to have a baby.

By this point, the star was already a household name, but she revealed exactly where her money goes in an eye-opening interview with the Hollywood Reporter . 

She said: “I have to give five percent to my lawyer, 10 percent to my agents, three percent or something like that to my business manager. I have to pay my publicist every month, and that's more than my mortgage.”

More recently, Sydney’s Euphoria costar Nika King joked about being unable to pay her rent after failing to book other acting jobs between seasons.

Pedro Pascal also opened up about his career being saved by a well-timed residual check from Buffy the Vampire Slayer when he was left with just $7 in his bank account and was facing moving out of Hollywood as he struggled to pay rent.

Now, Lisa Ann Walter has gotten seriously real about the discrepancy between being well-known and well-off, telling People that she has only just been able to afford to take her kids on vacation.

If you need reminding, Lisa Ann played the beloved housekeeper Chessy in the 1998 remake of The Parent Trap , which starred 12-year-old Lindsay Lohan.

But despite being a fan favorite to this day, 60-year-old Lisa Ann revealed that she didn't start to feel financially “safe” in her career until incredibly recently.

While she has appeared in other movies and TV shows over the years, released a book, and performed standup comedy, it was Abbott Elementary being picked up for a fourth season in February that made the biggest difference to her financial situation.

Lisa Ann plays second-grade teacher Melissa Schemmenti in the hit ABC show. 

“I wasn’t a star; I was the woman that made you cry in The Parent Trap , and you’re still looking for a job next week,” Lisa Ann told People. “So honestly, feeling safe? The season four pickup of Abbott .”

In fact, Lisa Ann’s first major family vacation only happened last summer, when she took her four kids — 36-year-old Jordan, 32-year-old Delia, and 23-year-old twins Spencer and Simon — to Italy.

“Just because you're in a movie, doesn't mean you're rich,” she explained. “I had not been able to afford taking my kids on a vacation outside of taking them to the San Diego Zoo or to go skiing locally. This was the first time I was able to have everybody go on a trip.”

In the same interview, Lisa Ann recalled working the comedy circuit until three days before giving birth to her daughter in 1992. She then returned to work just five weeks later “because we had bills.” 

She added: “I did a lot of driving back from gigs in upstate New York at 3:00 in the morning because I didn't want to spend $26 on a crappy hotel. I needed that money for milk.”

And while Lisa Ann believes that Chessy may have been enough to secure her a spot in the “In Memoriam” segment at the Oscars, it’s Abbott that has made her feel the most secure in her career. 

“I think I'm good, for a few years anyway. And maybe that's because I don't have as many years left," she said. “And that's the thing I just say: ‘You just can't quit.'"

"You don't know when your moment's going to happen," Lisa Ann added. "You just can't give up. You have to get out of your own way and just do that thing.”

Topics in this article

• Lisa Ann Walter
• The Parent Trap
• Abbott Elementary

Appleton West stages performances of 'Mean Girls'. Here's what to know about the show

What: Appleton West presents “Mean Girls: High School Version”

When: 7:03 p.m. April 18 to 20 and 2:03 p.m. April 21

Where: Appleton West Auditorium, 610 N. Badger Ave., Appleton

Admission: $12 adults, $6 seniors and students. Tickets available at the door.

Background: It’s a cautionary tale about unintentionally becoming the bully. The musical focuses on Cady Heron, a teenage girl who transfers to a public high school after being homeschooled her whole life in Africa. At school, she befriends outsiders Janis Sarkisian and Damian Hubbard who persuades her to infiltrate the “Plastics,” a clique consisting of wealthy but insecure Gretchen Wieners, sweet but dimwitted Karen Smith, and “queen bee” Regina George. But when playing with fire, you have to be careful not to be burned.

What they’re saying: “I love being in ‘Mean Girls’ because it deals with new beginnings, bullying, and trying to fit in while trying to find your place in the world and it is an important message for all,” said KK Blau, playing the role of Regina George.

Take-home message: “‘Mean Girls’ is such an important show. While much of the action is exaggerated, it does depict the reality of high school today,” said director Rebecca Whittle. “There are constant struggles with bullying, fitting in, and finding your way.”

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California sober: what does it mean and is it good for you?

Weed is becoming more mainstream, with more people exclusively using cannabis products – here’s what you need to know about being ‘California sober’

C annabis, now legal in 24 states, is a $40bn industry in America. That may not be much compared to the $260bn alcohol market, but a shift is afoot. As booze trends down, with young people drinking less and beer sales in decline , sales of marijuana are creeping upward , and weed is becoming more mainstream – favored by senior citizens and stressed-out moms alike.

As its popularity rises, more people exclusively use weed – or, cannabis products with the psychoactive THC – as their sole intoxicant.

Offer them a glass of wine and they may decline, saying: “No thanks, I’m California sober.”

If you live in a country or US state where cannabis is legal, you may be considering the switch. Here’s what you need to know about being California sober.

What does ‘California sober’ mean?

The term has been around for years, but picked up wider recognition around 2019, thanks in part to media coverage .

The definition of “California sober” is relatively simple – using weed but no other drugs or alcohol.

Are you really ‘sober’ if you’re California sober?

The medical definition of sobriety is abstinence from intoxicating substances, so California sober is a bit of a misnomer.

When people identify as sober, they usually do so in the context of overcoming addiction to alcohol or other substances. Sometimes, people who say they are California sober (such as Demi Lovato, who identified as California sober in the docuseries Dancing with the Devil before later opting for total abstinence) mean that they use weed while attempting to stop using a different substance. They may not be “capital S” sober, but they’re using the California sober life choice as a method of harm reduction.

Is cannabis really harmless?

Cannabis can have harmful effects, including lung damage from smoking and possible heart damage . Experts often suggest people under 25 avoid it due to its potential impact on the developing brain . If you’re pregnant or breastfeeding, researchers say it can harm your fetus or newborn . Additionally, it should be avoided before driving, and by individuals with a personal or family history of psychosis, as it may worsen their condition.

Cannabis is also associated with impaired cognition, memory and psychomotor skills and cancer.

While it isn’t technically necessary to talk to a doctor before using cannabis, Dr Ziva Cooper, director of the UCLA Center for Cannabis, recommends doing so if you have any questions or concerns, and especially if you use other medications that the drug may interact with.

Weed overdoses, which occur when a person consumes beyond their individual tolerance of THC (age, health conditions and experience with the drug are factors in this), can be very unpleasant and involve extreme anxiety, vomiting and low blood pressure, but they are not life-threatening. But cannabis is essentially never an acute cause of death , while alcohol and hard drugs can be.

What do experts say about people with substance issues using weed?

Researchers I spoke to say using weed to wean yourself off or replace alcohol when you have a substance abuse disorder is inadvisable in most circumstances.

According to Cooper, data suggests that a significant percentage of people use both alcohol and cannabis. “Among those people, the frequency of use of one substance is usually associated with the use of the other,” she says. If you’re trying to replace alcohol with weed and you have developed an association between the two, “the cannabis by itself might actually increase cravings for alcohol,” says Cooper, which could work against your goal.

In talking about his hard-won sobriety, the Jackass star Steve-O has described how he refrains from smoking weed because of the way substance associations have a cascading effect on his addictive tendencies: “My weed bone’s connected to my booze bone,” he said. “And my booze bone’s connected to my coke bone.”

Dr Ayana Jordan, addiction psychiatrist at NYU Grossman School of Medicine, agrees that there are better ways to stop alcohol dependency than using weed, such as evidence-based approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy or FDA-approved addiction medications like naltrexone.

She does not recommend compulsive substance users who were previously weed-free to introduce weed into their lives to replace other intoxicants.

“Over time you can develop cannabis dependence. I have many folks come to me who’ve been using cannabis regularly, and they’re now having insomnia problems because they can’t sleep without cannabis. There are a host of issues that can be introduced as a consequence of cannabis use,” she says.

Can weed ever be a helpful tool for people recovering from other addictions?

However, Jordan is willing to accommodate certain scenarios where her patient is already consuming cannabis and wishes to maintain their current usage level while reducing alcohol consumption and incorporating additional addiction management strategies into their broader plan.

This approach isn’t going to work for everyone, she says. “However, there is room for conversation,” about how it could work for some. Jordan does not see cannabis as a “wellness tool” per se, but understands many people need a little something to help us get through the week. “We need to have adaptive coping strategies to deal with the stressors present in life,” she says. In the US, we lack the public health structures that promote health and wellness in other countries, like the accessible childcare and free community programming in Scandinavia, she notes.

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Other physicians have a more pronounced stance on the benefits of going California sober even when in treatment for other addictions. Dr Peter Grinspoon, an instructor at Harvard School of Medicine, has written extensively about his “tremendous success” helping people transition from both opioids and alcohol to cannabis in his clinical practice. “I find cannabis to be particularly efficacious, because it can help treat or palliate many of the symptoms that may have helped incite and fuel the addiction to these other drugs in the first place, such as anxiety, insomnia, chronic pain, and trauma,” Grinspoon wrote last year.

Many people just find they derive benefits from using a recreational substance; intoxicants have been a part of human culture since time immemorial because they can make us feel good.

Matt Leaf, a 42-year-old music video director based in Vancouver, has found success in using weed as a form of harm reduction; after struggling with alcohol and harder drugs in his youth, he’s been California sober for almost a decade.

“If it wasn’t for having weed as a fallback – having something that I really enjoyed doing that could take away from being razor sharp sober all the time – I would have 100% gone back to drinking,” says Leaf, who smokes joints on days when he doesn’t have work, and before he goes on runs.

Are there benefits to being California sober as a lifestyle choice?

Many people who identify as California sober are not evoking a binary with active substance abuse; they simply use the term to denote a personal preference for weed and avoidance of alcohol.

Anna Li, a 29-year-old cannabis content creator based in Toronto, chose to become California sober three years ago. “When I consume cannabis, I’m more present and mindful and empathetic,” she says, compared with the anxiety and angst she experienced with alcohol. The absence of hangovers was a bonus.

Li sees a lot of people sharing their bad experiences with weed online – for example, saying that it makes them feel anxious or ill.

“Everyone’s going to react with the plant differently, just like how people react differently with alcohol,” she says. “There’s going to be a certain portion of the population that just isn’t suitable for cannabis.”

If you’re new to cannabis, experiment with dosage cautiously, she says. Cannabis adviser Sean Akhavan has suggested novices “start with the smallest amount possible to gauge their tolerance level”, such as edibles containing 2.5mg of THC. If vaping or smoking, a microdose would be one “hit”, or two-second inhale, followed by a 10-minute wait before trying another, he says.

Consumption methods can also affect your level of enjoyment. Edibles provide a different experience to smoking, but make it easier to control your dosage, especially when buying from a regulated dispensary. But advanced methods of ingestion involving cannabis concentrates, such as dabbing, create more extreme highs and are far from beginner-friendly.

Your intentions are also meaningful, Li says – consider why you are using weed and your relationship to substance before and while you use it.

It’s also important to note that alcohol and weed are non-equivalent; you might not simply replace an evening glass of wine or weekend cocktails with the same number of cannabis doses. “They are completely different products that create completely different experiences,” says Li, and whether they work for you in the same contexts depends entirely on the individual.

Is cannabis really healthier than alcohol?

It’s hard to say whether one option is healthier than the other for any single individual, says Cooper. She also notes the importance of knowing what is in cannabis products before you ingest them.

To some extent, individuals have to answer that question for themselves, taking both potential personal benefits and risks into account. What researchers know about cannabis is still evolving.

The harms of alcohol are well-studied and can be severe, with recent research finding that alcohol can cause damage even in small amounts . Excessive alcohol consumption was responsible for roughly 140,000 deaths a year between 2015 and 2019, and alcohol contributes to chronic conditions like liver disease, heart disease and cancer.

While there are many factors to consider, experts overall agree weed is safer than alcohol when used responsibly, with fewer harmful social and physical effects.

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Kyle Richards’ daughter Alexia says she learned about her parents’ separation on the news

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Alexia Umansky learned that her mom Kyle Richards and dad Mauricio Umansky were separating after accidentally seeing it on the news.

Appearing on the “Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad” podcast Thursday, the “Buying Beverly Hills” star opened up about the moment she discovered her parents were taking a break from their 27-year marriage.

“We found out from (an) article,” Alexia revealed. “The news of my parents’ separation came out before we had ever talked about it as a family internally.”

“And then the cameras for ‘Buying Beverly Hills’ were coming the very next day,” she added.

The 27-year-old said her family would typically brush rumors and reports under the carpet, but this time, it was different.

“We just kind of had a moment, we were like, ‘We need to start talking,’” she recalled. “And the cameras were gonna be there anyway, so we just leaned in. And that was in July. So a lot has changed since then. But now we talked about everything.”

The family’s conversations about Richards and Umansky’s split are played out in the second season of “Buying Beverly Hills” on Netflix.

“What was filmed was two of the four big conversations we’ve had as a family,” she shared. “We had one conversation when the news came out, but my sister Farrah wasn’t there.”

“So the next day when the cameras came, Farrah came and that was the first, full conversation as a family we had,” Alexia went on. “So that was as real as it gets, as honest and open as it gets, which is so crazy.”

“That was the first conversation with sisters and just dad that we were like, we need to be doing this more. We feel out of the loop,” she added. “We’re learning things from TMZ and it doesn’t feel fair.”

Page Six confirmed in July 2023 that Richards and Umansky, who tied the knot in January 1996, had  decided to separate after a whopping 27 years of marriage .

The couple admitted to a “challenging” year in a joint Instagram statement: “We both love and respect each other tremendously. …  There has been no wrongdoing  on anyone’s part.”

Shortly after news of their separation, Richards and Umansky released a joint statement clarifying that any reports of them “divorcing are untrue.”

In addition to Alexia, the fan-favorite couple share daughters Sophia, 24, and Portia, 16.

Umansky also  helped raise Farrah Brittany , 35, whom Richards, 55, welcomed during her first marriage to Guraish Aldjufrie.

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