human written essay example

Sample Essays

The breadth of Georgetown’s core curriculum means that students are required to write for a wide variety of academic disciplines. Below, we provide some student samples that exhibit the key features the most popular genres. When reading through these essays, we recommend paying attention to their 

1. Structure (How many paragraphs are there? Does the author use headers?) 

2. Argument (Is the author pointing out a problem, and/or proposing a solution?) 

3. Content (Does the argument principally rely on facts, theory, or logic?) and 

4. Style (Does the writer use first person? What is the relationship with the audience?)

Philosophy Paper

• Singer on the Moral Status of Animals

Theology Paper

• Problem of God
• Jewish Civilization
• Sacred Space and Time
• Phenolphthalein in Alkaline Solution

History Paper

• World History

Literature Review

Comparative Analysis 

Policy Brief

• Vaccine Manufacturing

White Paper

Critical Analysis

• Ignatius Seminar

Best Free Essay Examples - 100+ Samples for Free

When you're trying to pick up something new, it's often easier to get the hang of it by checking out examples that are already done. For college students, seeing real essays can give a clear picture of how a good essay is put together. That's why our custom writers rounded up a bunch of free college essays for you to improve your own writing skills.

These samples encompass various topics and writing styles, including persuasive and descriptive formats. Whether you're having difficulty beginning your piece or ensuring it flows seamlessly, these examples offer helpful guidance. Make good use of this resource and let these free essay samples serve as a tool to enhance your writing skills.

Persuasive Essay Category

3 paragraph essay example, 5 paragraph essay example.

If you're wondering how to write a 5 paragraph essay, let's get the hang of its format and structure with the example below prepared by our professional essay writers.

To take advantage of our Admission Essay Writing Services just give us your paper requirements, choose a writer and we’ll save your precious time.

500 Word Essay Example

Maybe you've been curious about how does 500 words essay look like? No worries! Check out the sample below for a clear idea.

1000 Word Essay Example

Now, let's dig into how to write a 1000 word essay using the essay example below. 

Argumentative Essay Examples

If you're tasked with writing an argumentative essay for exams like the SAT, ACT, IELTS, or TOEFL, we've got you covered. Check out the 2 argumentative essay samples below to ace your tests.

Cause and Effect Essay Examples

Here, you can explore what cause and effect is all about by checking out the writing guide and some examples of cause and effect essays.

Compare And Contrast Essay Examples

Let's move forward. Here are two examples of compare and contrast essays to help you master the format and outline.

Opinion Essay Examples

Suppose you're keen to articulate your ideas more clearly and demonstrate your critical thinking abilities. In that case, writing an opinion essay can be very useful. Check out the following examples for tips on how to craft a compelling opinion essay.

Persuasive Essay Examples

If you're looking to convince others effectively, diving into a persuasive essay is the way to go. Check out the example below to see how it's done.

Problem Solution Essay Example

Before jumping into a solution, it's crucial to figure out what the main problem is. Stick around and learn from our problem-solving essay example.

Research Paper Example

Our graduate paper writing service experts have crafted this research paper example in the academic field to assist you - so go ahead and use it as a helpful reference along the way.

Topic: Should Parents Be Held Accountable for the Criminal Acts of Their Children?

Rhetorical Analysis Example

Understanding rhetoric is key to essay writing. So, as you dive into academics, explore the following rhetorical analysis example to begin writing like a seasoned expert.

Topic: The Death Of Honesty

Scholarship Essay Examples

You've stumbled upon what might be the most exciting sample in this article! We've already revealed the secrets of writing a winning scholarship essay, and now it's time to back it up with some scholarship essay examples.

Topic: Business Data Analytic Scholarship Essay

Term Paper Example

The final one in this category is here to help you refine your skills - so check out the sample to elevate your term paper, making it well-written, analytical, organized, and thoroughly researched.

Topic: Social Media and Self Esteem

High-level Academic Writing Category

Academic writing sample.

If you're in search of a well-organized academic essay, why not take a glimpse at our academic writing sample? It's crafted with academic rigor and structured to meet your needs.

Topic: Money Laundering

AMA Format Example

Hey there, medical and scientific students! Check out the example below to see the AMA format in action.

AP English Essay Example

The example below will come in handy for anyone preparing for the AP English exam.

Topic: Government And The Internet

APA Sample Paper

Need help with APA citations? Take a look at our APA format example below for clear guidance.

Topic: Prevalence of Domestic Violence in the Twenty-First Century and Measures to Stop It

ASA Format Example

If you're a sociology student, our ASA format example can be a game-changer in mastering citation techniques.

Topic: Disability as an Inequality

Bullying Essay Example

Wondering about the reasons and effects of teenage cruelty in school? Dive into our bullying essay example to uncover the insights.

Topic: Bullying Impact on Academic Achievement

Chicago Style Paper Example

Interested in learning how to write in Chicago style? Explore our guide, coupled with the Chicago style citations example below.

Exemplification Essay Examples

Ready to tackle your exemplification essay? Get started by checking out exemplification essay examples right here.

Topic: Advantages & Disadvantages of Cellphones

Topic: Should the EU Merge into one Superstate, and Be Controlled by One Major Capital City?

Extended Essay Examples

Planning to write an extended essay? Check out the structural elements of this assignment type in our extended essay examples.

Topic: To What Extent Has the Indonesian Government’s Policy on Tobacco Affected the Demand for Cigarettes

‍ Topic: How Does Rimsky-Korsakov Promote Nationalism in his Compositional Style?

Harvard Referencing Example

Want to format your paper in Harvard style? Learn how to provide in-text citations and create a reference list with our Harvard referencing example below.

IEEE Citation Example

Studying Computer Science? Take a look at our IEEE citation example, which is tailored just for your studies.

Lab Report Example

Struggling with writing a conclusion for your lab report? Find inspiration in our lab report sample, which includes well-crafted conclusion examples .

MLA Example

Are you curious about what an MLA style paper typically includes? Explore the format guidelines and the MLA example provided below.

Topic: Critical Analysis of James Joyce's "Araby"

NHS Essay Examples

Aspiring to join the NHS? You can't excel in your essay without exploring NHS essay examples. They provide invaluable insights into what's required and how to stand out.

Topic: National Junior Honor Society Essay

Nursing Essay Example

Calling all nurses! Discover valuable information in the nursing essay example below. It's a great opportunity to enhance your skills and gain insights into effective nursing writing.

Topic: Journal Reflection on Promoting Sleep in the ICU

Philosophy Paper Example

Eager to craft a compelling philosophy paper? Begin by examining a philosophy paper example. It offers essential guidance on mastering philosophical writing techniques.

Topic: Why Top Level Athletes Should Not Be Paid

Psychology Essay Example

Whether it's for school or university, crafting a psychology essay demands specific skills. Dive into the psychology essay example below to gain inspiration and learn from successful essays.

SAT Essay Sample

Looking to excel in your SAT essay? Uncover essential essay-writing techniques in the SAT essay sample provided. It's an invaluable resource for refining your skills and achieving SAT success.

Topic: Paul Bogard's "Let There Be Dark"

Thematic Essay Example

Crafting a great thematic essay is all about drawing in your reader and leaving a lasting impact. Dive into the thematic essay example below to learn how to convey your message effectively and make a memorable impression.

Topic: Athens vs Sparta

Expository Essay Category

Analytical essay example.

Explore how to analyze texts by checking out our example, where we break down Mathew Taibbi's article. And if you need more help, our writing services have your back!

Topic: Analysis Of Mathew Taibbis's Article

Article Review Example

Ready to evaluate someone else's work? Our article review example can guide you through the process with ease.

Topic: Why Have There Been no Great Female Artists?

Character Analysis Essay Example

Let's now move on to literature writing, where we dive into how characters change in 'The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn' - It's a journey worth taking.

Topic: Transformation of Huck and Jim in the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Classification Essay Examples

With this sample below, you can learn how to sort things into categories, which is an essential skill you'll master in no time.

Topic: Ideal Human Being

Topic: Weight Loss Plans

College Admission Essay Examples

Get inspired for your college essay with these examples that cover everything from personal stories to challenging beliefs.

Topic: College Admission Essay of a Student

Topic: Challenging A Life Belief/Idea

College Application Essay Example

Figure out how to write your college application letter using our example. It's the key to getting noticed by your dream school!

Topic: Admission Letter to Sofia University

Critical Analysis Essay Example

For a literary analysis, we've prepared an example of "The Grapes of Wrath.' 

Topic: A critical analysis of “The Grapes of Wrath.”

Definition Essay Examples

Let's now go beyond simple definitions and explore complex topics like success and heroism in a whole new way.

Topic: What Is Success?

Topic: Who Is a Hero?

Diversity Essay Example

Tailored for the University of Delaware, our diversity essay example is a perfect guide if you want to showcase your unique experiences in your application essay.

Topic: Diversity Application Essay to the University of Delaware

Explanatory Essay Example

For you to nail an explanatory essay, the below sample is a great starting point for mastering this type of writing.

Topic: Why Don't We Complain?

Expository Essay Example

Grasping the purpose of an expository essay is not as straightforward as it seems. But with our example, you'll get through the process easily.

Topic: How to Be a Gentleman

Informative Essay Examples

Whether you're in school or college, chances are you'll have to write an informative essay. Explore our examples to get a feel for the format and style.

Topic: Reasons as to Why People Dream

Topic: Human Right Infringement in Things Fall Apart

Literary Analysis Essay Example

Being a valuable resource for crafting your own analysis, check out our sample to tackle a literary analysis essay.

Topic: Literary Analysis of “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson

Literature Review Example

Stuck on your literature review? Our example can show you what the final product should look like based on the topic of native language acquisition within a bilingual context.

Topic: Native Language, and Its Acquisition Within a Bilingual

Personal Essay Examples

Assuming that you've already checked out our blog on how to write a personal essay , now it's time for some practical examples! Covering topics like family influences and personal reflections, our personal essay samples will inspire your own storytelling.

Topic: Grandma’s Influence

Topic: Grandpa was Having a Conversation with God

Poetry Analysis Essay Example

Analyzing poetry can be tough, but our example essay can help. Dive into our analysis to learn how to dissect a poem effectively.

Process Analysis Essay Examples

Whether you're detailing the process of losing weight or preparing for a college interview, we'll show how it's done with our process analysis samples and step-by-step guides.

Topic: How to Lose Weight

Topic: Preparing for a College Interview

Process Essay Examples

Here, you'll see how to tackle a process essay with our examples. Whether it's building a business from scratch or saving money, we'll guide you through the process.

Topic: The Process of Building a Business from Scratch

Topic: How to Save More

Reflection Paper Example

Reflecting on a lecture or experience? Our example paper on poverty can help you master the art of reflective writing.

Topic: Reflection of Angela Jones’ Lecture on Poverty

Reflective Essay Sample

Willing to share a moment or experience from your life? With our reflective essay sample, you'll learn how to make your writing effective and engaging.

Topic: Is Mythology Still Relevant? My Research Experience

Research Proposal Example

Need to write a research proposal? Our example provides all the essential info you need to get started, focusing on the topic of space exploration and innovation.

Topic: Space Exploration and Innovation: Competition or Cooperation?

Synthesis Essay Example

Last but definitely not least, in this category, explore our example essay on unaccompanied minors and migration to expand your knowledge and skills in synthesis writing.

Topic: Unaccompanied Minors and Migration

Creative Essay Category

Autobiography example.

Writing your life story isn't as tough as it seems. If you've been searching for an autobiography example, you're in for a treat!

Creative Essay Example

Before you start brainstorming, take a peek at our creative essay example. It'll give you a sense of how to structure your ideas and bring your story to life.

Topic: The Rise of an Androgynous Society

Descriptive Essay Examples

Ready to paint vivid pictures with your words? Our descriptive essay examples crafted by EssayPro writers will definitely get you inspired!

Topic: Particular Aspects That Separate Regular Events from Unique Memories In Life

Topic: Dominant Impression

Essay About Yourself Example

Writing about yourself can be tricky, but it's also a chance to showcase your unique story. So, if you need a little inspiration to get started, the below sample is just the spark you need.

Topic: Andrew’s Car Accident Revelation

Narrative Essay Examples

Everyone loves a good story, right? Whether it's a presidential daydream or a first-time swim, our examples will guide you in crafting unforgettable narratives.

Topic: If I Was Elected President for a Day

Topic: Swimming for the First Time

If you're still feeling stuck and could use some extra support, why not pay for paper through our professional service?

Get Help from Professionals!

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Daniel Parker

is a seasoned educational writer focusing on scholarship guidance, research papers, and various forms of academic essays including reflective and narrative essays. His expertise also extends to detailed case studies. A scholar with a background in English Literature and Education, Daniel’s work on EssayPro blog aims to support students in achieving academic excellence and securing scholarships. His hobbies include reading classic literature and participating in academic forums.

is an expert in nursing and healthcare, with a strong background in history, law, and literature. Holding advanced degrees in nursing and public health, his analytical approach and comprehensive knowledge help students navigate complex topics. On EssayPro blog, Adam provides insightful articles on everything from historical analysis to the intricacies of healthcare policies. In his downtime, he enjoys historical documentaries and volunteering at local clinics.

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21 Stellar Common App Essay Examples to Inspire Your College Essay

What’s covered:, what makes a good common app essay, is your common app essay strong enough.

When you begin writing your Common App essay, having an example to look at can help you understand how to effectively write your college essay so that it stands apart from others. 

These Common App essay examples demonstrate a strong writing ability and answer the prompt in a way that shows admissions officers something unique about the student. Once you’ve read some examples and are ready to get started, read our step-by-step guide for how to write a strong Common App essay.  

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Read our Common App essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

It’s Personal

The point of the Common App essay is to humanize yourself to a college admissions committee. The ultimate goal is to get them to choose you over someone else! You will have a better chance of achieving this goal if the admissions committee feels personally connected to you or invested in your story. When writing your Common App essay, you should explore your feelings, worldview, values, desires, and anything else that makes you uniquely you.

It’s Not Cliché

It is pretty easy to resort to clichés in college essays. This should be actively avoided! CollegeVine has identified the immigrant’s journey, sports injuries, and overcoming a challenging course as cliché topics . If you write about one of these topics, you have to work harder to stand out, so working with a more nuanced topic is often safer and easier.

It’s Well-Done

Colleges want good writers. They want students who can articulate their thoughts clearly and concisely (and creatively!). You should be writing and rewriting your essays, perfecting them as you go. Of course, make sure that your grammar and spelling are impeccable, but also put in time crafting your tone and finding your voice. This will also make your essay more personal and will make your reader feel more connected to you!

It’s Cohesive

Compelling Common App essays tell a cohesive story. Cohesion is primarily achieved through effective introductions and conclusions , which often contribute to the establishment of a clear theme or topic. Make sure that it is clear what you are getting at, but also don’t explicitly state what you are getting at—a successful essay speaks for itself.

Common App Essay Examples

Here are the current Common App prompts. Click the links to jump to the examples for a specific prompt, or keep reading to review the examples for all the prompts.

Prompt #1 :  Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Prompt #2 :  The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Prompt #3 :  Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Prompt #4 : Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? (NOTE: We only have an example for the old prompt #4 about solving a problem, not this current one)

Prompt #5 :  Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Prompt #6 :  Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Prompt #7 :  Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Note: Names have been changed to protect the identity of the author and subjects.

Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Prompt #1, example #1.

The room was silent except for the thoughts racing through my head. I led a spade from my hand and my opponent paused for a second, then played a heart. The numbers ran through my mind as I tried to consider every combination, calculating my next move. Finally, I played the ace of spades from the dummy and the rest of my clubs, securing the contract and 620 points when my partner ruffed at trick five. Next board.

It was the final of the 2015 United States Bridge Federation Under-26 Women’s Championship. The winning team would be selected to represent the United States in the world championship and my team was still in the running.

Contract bridge is a strategic and stochastic card game. Players from around the world gather at local clubs, regional events, and, in this case, national tournaments.

Going into the tournament, my team was excited; all the hours we had put into the game, from the lengthy midnight Skype sessions spent discussing boards to the coffee shop meetings spent memorizing conventions together, were about to pay off.

Halfway through, our spirits were still high, as we were only down by fourteen international match points which, out of the final total of about four hundred points, was virtually nothing and it was very feasible to catch up. Our excitement was short-lived, however, as sixty boards later, we found that we had lost the match and would not be chosen as the national team.

Initially, we were devastated. We had come so close and it seemed as if all the hours we had devoted to training had been utterly wasted. Yet as our team spent some time together reflecting upon the results, we gradually realized that the true value that we had gained wasn’t only the prospect of winning the national title, but also the time we had spent together exploring our shared passion. I chatted with the winning team and even befriended a few of them who offered us encouragement and advice.

Throughout my bridge career, although I’ve gained a respectable amount of masterpoints and awards, I’ve realized that the real reward comes from the extraordinary people I have met. I don’t need to travel cross-country to learn; every time I sit down at a table whether it be during a simple club game, a regional tournament or a national event, I find I’m always learning. 

I nod at the pair that’s always yelling at each other. They teach me the importance of sportsmanship and forgiveness.

I greet the legally blind man who can defeat most of the seeing players. He reminds me not to make excuses.

I chat with the friendly, elderly couple who, at ages ninety and ninety-two, have just gotten married two weeks ago. They teach me that it’s never too late to start anything.

I talk to the boy who’s attending Harvard and the girl who forewent college to start her own company. They show me that there is more than one path to success.

I congratulate the little kid running to his dad, excited to have won his very first masterpoints. He reminds me of the thrill of every first time and to never stop trying new things.

Just as much as I have benefitted from these life lessons, I aspire to give back to my bridge community as much as it has given me. I aspire to teach people how to play this complicated yet equally as exciting game. I aspire to never stop improving myself, both at and away from the bridge table.

Bridge has given me my roots and dared me to dream. What started as merely a hobby has become a community, a passion, a part of my identity. I aspire to live selflessly and help others reach their goals. I seek to take risks, embrace all results, even failure, and live unfettered from my own doubt.

This student draws readers in with a strong introduction. The essay starts ambiguous—“I led with a spade”—then intrigues readers by gradually revealing more information and details. This makes the reader want to keep reading (which is super important!) As the writer continues, there is a rather abrupt tone shift from suspenseful to explanatory with statements like “It was the final of the 2015 United States Bridge Federation Under-26 Women’s Championship” and “Contract bridge is a strategic and stochastic card game.” If you plan to start with an imagery-heavy, emotional, suspenseful, or dramatic introduction, you will need to transition to the content of your essay in a way that does not feel abrupt. 

You will often hear that essays need to “show, not tell.” This essay actually does both. First, the student tells readers the importance of bridge, saying “we gradually realized that the true value that we had gained wasn’t only the prospect of winning the national title, but also the time we had spent together exploring our shared passion” and “I’ve realized that the real reward comes from the extraordinary people I have met.” Then, the student shows the lessons they have learned from bridge through a series of parallel sentences: “I nod… sportsmanship and forgiveness” “I greet… not to make excuses” “I chat… it’s never too late to start anything” and so on. This latter strategy is much more effective than the former and is watered down because the student has already told us what we are supposed to get out of these sentences. Remember that your readers are intelligent and can draw their own conclusions. Avoid summarizing the moral of your story for them!

Overall, this essay is interesting and answers the prompt. We learn the importance of bridge to this student. The student has a solid grasp of language, a high-level vocabulary, and a valuable message, though they would be better off if they avoided summarizing their point and created more seamless transitions. 

Prompt #1, Example #2

Growing up, I always wanted to eat, play, visit, watch, and be it all: sloppy joes and spaetzle, Beanie Babies and Steiff, Cape Cod and the Baltic Sea, football and fussball, American and German.

My American parents relocated our young family to Berlin when I was three years old. My exposure to America was limited to holidays spent stateside and awfully dubbed Disney Channel broadcasts. As the few memories I had of living in the US faded, my affinity for Germany grew. I began to identify as “Germerican,” an ideal marriage of the two cultures. As a child, I viewed my biculturalism as a blessing. I possessed a native fluency in “Denglisch” and my family’s Halloween parties were legendary at a time when the holiday was just starting to gain popularity outside of the American Sector.

Insidiously, the magic I once felt in loving two homes was replaced by a deep-­rooted sense of rootlessness. I stopped feeling American when, while discussing World War II with my grandmother, I said “the US won.” She corrected me, insisting I use “we” when referring to the US’s actions. Before then, I hadn’t realized how directly people associated themselves with their countries. I stopped feeling German during the World Cup when my friends labeled me a “bandwagon fan” for rooting for Germany. Until that moment, my cheers had felt sincere. I wasn’t part of the “we” who won World Wars or World Cups. Caught in a twilight of foreign and familiar, I felt emotionally and psychologically disconnected from the two cultures most familiar to me.

After moving from Berlin to New York at age fifteen, my feelings of cultural homelessness thrived in my new environment. Looking and sounding American furthered my feelings of dislocation. Border patrol agents, teachers, classmates, neighbors, and relatives all “welcomed me home” to a land they could not understand was foreign to me. Americans confused me as I relied on Urban Dictionary to understand my peers, the Pledge of Allegiance seemed nationalistic, and the only thing familiar about Fahrenheit was the German after whom it was named. Too German for America and too American for Germany, I felt alienated from both. I wanted desperately to be a member of one, if not both, cultures.

During my first weeks in Scarsdale, I spent my free time googling “Berlin Family Seeks Teen” and “New Americans in Scarsdale.” The latter search proved most fruitful: I discovered Horizons, a nonprofit that empowers resettled refugees, or “New Americans,” to thrive. I started volunteering with Horizon’s children’s programs, playing with and tutoring young refugees.

It was there that I met Emily, a twelve­-year-­old Iraqi girl who lived next to Horizons. In between games and snacks, Emily would ask me questions about American life, touching on everything from Halloween to President Obama. Gradually, my confidence in my American identity grew as I recognized my ability to answer most of her questions. American culture was no longer completely foreign to me. I found myself especially qualified to work with young refugees; my experience growing up in a country other than that of my parents’ was similar enough to that of the refugee children Horizons served that I could empathize with them and offer advice. Together, we worked through conflicting allegiances, homesickness, and stretched belonging.

Forging a special, personal bond with young refugees proved a cathartic outlet for my insecurities as it taught me to value my past. My transculturalism allowed me to help young refugees integrate into American life, and, in doing so, I was able to adjust myself. Now, I have an appreciation of myself that I never felt before. “Home” isn’t the digits in a passport or ZIP code but a sense of contentedness. By helping a young refugee find comfort, happiness, and home in America, I was finally able to find those same things for myself.

Due to their endearing (and creative) use of language—with early phrases like “sloppy joes and spaetzle” as well as  “Germerican” and “Denglisch”—readers are inclined to like this writer from the get-go. Though the essay shifts from this lighthearted introduction to more serious subject matter around the third paragraph, the shift is not abrupt or jarring. This is because the student invites readers to feel the transition with them through their inclusion of various anecdotes that inspired their “feelings of cultural homelessness.” And our journey does not end there—we go back to America with the student and see how their former struggles become strengths.

Ultimately, this essay is successful due to its satisfying ending. Because readers experience the student’s struggles with them, we also feel the resolution. The conclusion of this essay is a prime example of the “Same, but Different” technique described in our article on How to End Your College Essay . As the student describes how, in the end, their complicated cultural identity still exists but transitions to a source of strength, readers are left feeling happy for the student. This means that they have formed a connection with the student, which is the ultimate goal!

Prompt #1, Example #3

“1…2…3…4 pirouettes ! New record!” My friends cheered as I landed my turns. Pleased with my progress, I gazed down at my worn-out pointe shoes. The sweltering blisters, numbing ice-baths, and draining late-night practices did not seem so bad after all. Next goal: five turns.

For as long as I can remember, ballet, in all its finesse and glamor, had kept me driven day to day. As a child, the lithe ballerinas, donning ethereal costumes as they floated across the stage, were my motivation. While others admired Messi and Adele, I idolized Carlos Acosta, principal dancer of the Royal Ballet. 

As I devoted more time and energy towards my craft, I became obsessed with improving my technique. I would stretch for hours after class, forcing my leg one inch higher in an effort to mirror the Dance Magazine cover girls . I injured my feet and ruined pair after pair of pointe shoes, turning on wood, cement, and even grass to improve my balance as I spun. At competitions, the dancers with the 180-degree leg extensions, endless turns, and soaring leaps—the ones who received “Bravos!” from the roaring audience—further pushed me to refine my skills and perfect my form. I believed that, with enough determination, I would one day attain their level of perfection. Reaching the quadruple- pirouette milestone only intensified my desire to accomplish even more. 

My efforts seemed to have come to fruition two summers ago when I was accepted to dance with Moscow’s Bolshoi Ballet at their renowned New York City summer intensive. I walked into my first session eager to learn from distinguished ballet masters and worldly dancers, already anticipating my improvement. Yet, as I danced alongside the accomplished ballerinas, I felt out of place. Despite their clean technique and professional training, they did not aim for glorious leg extensions or prodigious leaps. When they performed their turn combinations, most of them only executed two turns as I attempted four. 

“Dancers, double- pirouettes only.” 

Taken aback and confused, I wondered why our teacher expected so little from us. The other ballerinas seemed content, gracing the studio with their simple movements. 

As I grew closer with my Moscow roommates, I gradually learned that their training emphasized the history of the art form instead of stylistic tricks. Rather than show off their physical ability, their performances aimed to convey a story, one that embodied the rich culture of ballet and captured both the legacy of the dancers before them and their own artistry. As I observed my friends more intently in repertoire class, I felt the pain of the grief-stricken white swan from Swan Lake , the sass of the flirtatious Kitri from Don Quijote, and I gradually saw what I had overlooked before. My definition of talent had been molded by crowd-pleasing elements—whirring pirouettes , gravity-defying leaps, and mind-blowing leg extensions. This mindset slowly stripped me from the roots of my passion and my personal connection with ballet. 

With the Bolshoi, I learned to step back and explore the meaning behind each step and the people behind the scenes. Ballet carries history in its movements, from the societal values of the era to each choreographer’s unique flair. As I uncovered the messages behind each pirouette, kick, and jump, my appreciation for ballet grew beyond my obsession with raw athleticism and developed into a love for the art form’s emotive abilities in bridging the dancers with the audience. My journey as an artist has allowed me to see how technical execution is only the means to a greater understanding between dancer and spectator, between storyteller and listener. The elegance and complexity of ballet does not revolve around astonishing stunts but rather the evocative strength and artistry manifested in the dancer, in me. It is the combination of sentiments, history, tradition, and passion that has allowed ballet and its lessons of human connection to become my lifestyle both on and off stage.

The primary strength of this essay is the honesty and authenticity of the student’s writing. It is purposefully reflective. Intentional language creates a clear character arc that begins with an eager young ballerina and ends with the student reflecting on their past. 

Readers are easily able to picture the passion and intensity of the young dancer through the writer’s engagement with words like “obsessed,” “forcing,” and “ruined” in the second paragraph. Then, we see how intensity becomes pride as they “wondered why our teacher expected so little from us.” And ultimately, we see the writer humbled as they are exposed to the deeper meaning behind what they have worked so hard for. This arc is outstanding, and the student’s musings about ballet in the concl usion position them as vulnerable and reflective (and thus, appealing to admissions officers!)

The main weakness of this essay (though this is a stellar essay) is its formulaic beginning. While dialogue can be an effective tool for starting your essay, this student’s introduction feels a bit stilted as the dialogue does not match the overall reflective tone of the essay. Perhaps, in place of “Next goal: five turns,” the student could have posed a question or foreshadowed the growth they ultimately describe.

Prompt #1, Example #4

My paintbrush dragged a flurry of acrylic, the rich colors attaching to each groove in my canvas’s texture. The feeling was euphoric.

From a young age, painting has been my solace. Between the stress of my packed high school days filled with classes and extracurriculars, the glide of my paintbrush was my emotional outlet.

I opened a fresh canvas and began. The amalgamation of assorted colors in my palette melded harmoniously: dark and light, cool and warm, brilliant and dull. They conjoined, forming shades and surfaces sharp, smooth, and ridged. The textures of my paint strokes — powdery, glossy, jagged — gave my painting a tone, as if it had a voice of its own, sometimes shrieking, sometimes whispering.

Rough indigo blue. The repetitive upward pulls of my brush formed layers on my canvas. Staring into the deep blue, I felt transported to the bottom of the pool I swim in daily. I looked upward to see a layer of dense water between myself and the person I aspire to be, an ideal blurred by filmy ripples. Rough blue encapsulates my amorphous, conflicting identity, catalyzed by words spewed by my peers about my “oily hair” and “smelly food”. They caused my ever present disdain toward cultural assemblies; the lehenga I wore felt burdensome. My identity quivers like the indigo storm I painted — a duel between my self-deprecating, validation-seeking self, and the proud self I desire to be. My haphazard paint strokes released my internal turbulence.

Smooth orange-hued green. I laid the color in melodious strokes, forming my figure. The warmer green transitions from the rough blue — while they share elements, they also diverge. My firm brushstrokes felt like the way I felt on my first day as a media intern at KBOO, my local volunteer-driven radio station, committed to the voices of the marginalized. As a naturally introverted speaker, I was forced out of my comfort zone when tasked with documenting a KBOO art exhibition for social media, speaking with hosts to share their diverse, underrepresented backgrounds and inspirations. A rhythmic green strength soon shoved me past internal blue turbulence. My communication skills which were built by two years of Speech and Debate unleashed — I recognized that making a social change through media required amplifying unique voices and perspectives, both my own and others. The powerful green strokes that fill my canvas entrench my growth.

Bright, voluminous coral, hinted with magenta and yellow. I dabbed the color over my figure, giving my painting dimension. The paint, speckled, added depth on every inch it coated. As I moved the color in random but purposeful movements, the vitality ushered into my painting brought a smile across my face. It reminded me of the encounters I had with my cubicle-mate in my sophomore year academic autism research internship, seemingly insignificant moments in my lifelong journey that, in retrospect, wove unique threads into my tapestry. The kindness she brought into work inspired my compassion, while her stories of struggling with ADHD in the workplace bolstered my empathy towards different experiences. Our conversations added blobs of a nonuniform bright color in my painting, binding a new perspective in me.

I added in my final strokes, each contributing an element to my piece. As I scanned my canvas, I observed these elements. Detail added nuance into smaller pictures; they embodied complexities within color, texture, and hue, each individually delivering a narrative. But together, they formed a piece of art— art that could be interpreted as a whole or broken apart but still delivering as a means of communication.

I find beauty in media because of this. I can adapt a complex narrative to be deliverable, each component telling a story. Appreciating these nuances — the light, dark, smooth, and rough — has cultivated my growth mindset. My life-long painting never finishes. It is ever-expanding, absorbing the novel textures and colors I encounter daily.

This essay is distinct from others due to its melodic, lyrical form. This is primarily achieved because the student’s form follows the movements of the paintbrush that they use to scaffold their essay. As readers, we simply flow through the essay, occasionally picking up bits of information about its creator. Without even realizing it, by the end of the essay, admissions officers will know that this student is a swimmer, was in Speech and Debate, is Indian, and has had multiple internships.

A major strength of this essay is the command of language that the student demonstrates. This essay was not simply written, it was crafted. Universities are, of course, interested in the talents, goals, and interests of applicants, but an essay being well-written can be equally important. Writing skills are important because your reader will not learn about your talents, goals, and interests if they aren’t engaged in your essay, but they are also important because admissions officers know that being able to articulate your thoughts is important for success in all future careers.

While this essay is well-written, there are a few moments where it falls out of the flow and feels more like a student advertising their successes. For example, the phrases “media intern at KBOO” and “autism research internship” work better on a resume than they do in this essay. Admissions officers have a copy of your resume and can check your internship experiences after reading your essay! If you are going to use a unique writing style or narrative form, lean into it; don’t try to hybridize it with the standard college essay form. Your boldness will be attractive to admissions officers.

Readers are easily able to picture the passion and intensity of the young dancer through the writer’s engagement with words like “obsessed,” “forcing,” and “ruined” in the second paragraph. Then, we see how intensity becomes pride as they “wondered why our teacher expected so little from us.” And ultimately, we see the writer humbled as they are exposed to the deeper meaning behind what they have worked so hard for. This arc is outstanding, and the student’s musings about ballet in the conclusion position them as vulnerable and reflective (and thus, appealing to admissions officers!)

Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Prompt #2, example #1.

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.

As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.

Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.

We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.

We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.

My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.

Here is a prime example that you don’t have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful Common App essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.

Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writer—where they’re from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their values—notably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this student’s ending of “I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story” shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.

The only part of this essay that could use a bit of work is the introduction. A short introduction can be effective, but this short first paragraph feels thrown in at the last minute and like it is missing its second half. If you are keeping your introduction short, make it matter.

Prompt #2, Example #2

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This Common App essay is well-written. The student is showing the admissions officers their ability to articulate their points beautifully and creatively. It starts with vivid images like that of the “rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free.” And because the prose is flowery, the writer can get away with metaphors like “I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms” that might sound cheesy without the clear command of the English language that the writer quickly establishes.

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

While dialogue often comes off as cliche or trite, this student effectively incorporates their family members saying “Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” This is achieved through the apt use of the verb “taunted” to characterize the questioning and through the question’s thematic connection to the earlier image of the student as a rustic princess. Similarly, rhetorical questions can feel randomly placed in essays, but this student’s inclusion of the questions “Was I so dainty?” and “Was I that incapable?” feels perfectly justified after they establish that they were pondering their failure.

Quite simply, this essay shows how quality writing can make a simple story outstandingly compelling.

Prompt #2, Example #3

The muffled voices behind thin walls heralded trouble.

They were fighting about money.

It wasn’t the first time this had happened and it wasn’t going to be the last. It was one of those countless nights I had to spend curled up under the blanket while pretending to be asleep. My father had been unemployed for five years now, and my mother, a local kindergarten teacher, was struggling to support the family alone. Our situation was bleak: Savings had run out and my parents could no longer hide our lack of money from me. To make matters worse, I was a few weeks away from starting high school, which would inevitably lead to college, yet another financial stressor for my family.

The argument didn’t sound like it would end soon.

“Why did you spend money on that?” my mother said, with an elongated sigh.

“I had to,” my father said, decidedly.

Every fight over the years had left me in despair and the idea of going through another fight daunted me. I had looked forward to my teen years all my life, an age that allows, for the first time, more responsibility. Indeed, after this fateful night, after my fourteenth birthday, I felt a mounting responsibility to help my family, and started brainstorming.

Always being fascinated by computers, I spent my childhood burying myself under computer cabinets, experimenting with computer parts. Naturally, I wondered if my skills in this area might be marketable.

The next morning, my friend, Naba, mentioned that her computer wasn’t working. A tuk-tuk ride later, and I was at her doorstep, and her mother was leading me to her room. I was off to work: I began examining her computer, like a surgeon carefully manages his scalpels and tools. A proper diagnosis was not far from reach, as I realized a broken pin in her computer’s SATA slot. After an hour of work, and a short trip to the hardware store, I successfully fixed the computer. To my pleasant surprise, Naba’s mother drew out two fresh 500 Rupee notes. One covered the cost of the parts I bought and the other was a token of appreciation. Bidding her goodbye, I went straight back home and put one of the 500 Rupee notes inside my family’s “savings-jar.”

Later that day, I devised a plan. I told my friends to spread the word that I was available to fix computers. At first, I got only one or two calls per week. I would pick up the computer from my client’s home, fix it quickly, and return it, thus earning myself a commission. While I couldn’t market my services at a competitive price, because I wasn’t able to buy the parts wholesale, I compensated by providing convenience. All my clients had to do was call me once and the rest was taken care of. Thus, my business had the best customer service in town.

At the beginning of my junior year, after two years of expanding my business through various avenues, I started buying computer parts from hardware suppliers in bulk at a cheaper rate. My business grew exponentially after that. 

Before long, I was my town’s go-to tech person. In this journey throughout high school, I started realizing that I had to create my own opportunities and not just curl up under a blanket, seeking only comfort, as I used to. Interacting with people from all walks of life became my forte and a sense of work ethic developed in me. My business required me to be an all-rounder– have the technical skills, be an easily approachable person, and manage cash flow. Slowly becoming better at this, I even managed to sway admins of a local institution to outsource their computer hardware purchases and repairs through me. As my business upsized throughout the years, I went from being helpless to autonomous – the teenager I always aspired to be.

This essay truly feels like a story—almost making you forget you are reading a college essay. The student’s voice is strong throughout the entire essay and they are able to give us insight into their thoughts, feelings, and motivations at every step of the story. Letting the reader into personal challenges like financial struggles can be daunting in a college essay, but the way this student used that setback to establish an emotional ethos to their narrative was well done.

Because the essay is essentially just telling a story, there’s a very natural flow that makes it enjoyable and easy to read. The student establishes the conflict at the beginning, then describes their solution and how they implemented it, and finally concludes with the lessons they took away from this experience. Transitions at the beginning of paragraphs effortlessly show the passage of time and how the student has progressed through the story.

Another reason this essay is so successful is because of the abundance of details. The reader truly feels like they are hiding in the room with the student as their parents yell because of the inclusion of quotes from the argument. We understand the precision and care they have for fixing computers because of the allusion to a surgeon with their scalpel. Not only does this imagery make the story more enticing, it also helps the reader gain a deeper appreciation for the type of person this student is and the adversity they have overcome.

If there were one thing this essay could do to improve, it would be to include a resolution to the conflict from the beginning. The student tells us how this business helped them grow as a person, but we don’t ever get to find out if they were able to lessen the financial burden on their parents or if they continued to struggle despite the student working hard. It doesn’t have to be a happy ending, but it would be nice to return to the conflict and acknowledge the effect they had on it, especially since this prompt is all about facing challenges.

Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Prompt #3, example #1.

When I was younger, I was adamant that no two foods on my plate touch. As a result, I often used a second plate to prevent such an atrocity. In many ways, I learned to separate different things this way from my older brothers, Nate and Rob. Growing up, I idolized both of them. Nate was a performer, and I insisted on arriving early to his shows to secure front row seats, refusing to budge during intermission for fear of missing anything. Rob was a three-sport athlete, and I attended his games religiously, waving worn-out foam cougar paws and cheering until my voice was hoarse. My brothers were my role models. However, while each was talented, neither was interested in the other’s passion. To me, they represented two contrasting ideals of what I could become: artist or athlete. I believed I had to choose.

And for a long time, I chose athlete. I played soccer, basketball, and lacrosse and viewed myself exclusively as an athlete, believing the arts were not for me. I conveniently overlooked that since the age of five, I had been composing stories for my family for Christmas, gifts that were as much for me as them, as I loved writing. So when in tenth grade, I had the option of taking a creative writing class, I was faced with a question: could I be an athlete and a writer? After much debate, I enrolled in the class, feeling both apprehensive and excited. When I arrived on the first day of school, my teacher, Ms. Jenkins, asked us to write down our expectations for the class. After a few minutes, eraser shavings stubbornly sunbathing on my now-smudged paper, I finally wrote, “I do not expect to become a published writer from this class. I just want this to be a place where I can write freely.”

Although the purpose of the class never changed for me, on the third “submission day,” – our time to submit writing to upcoming contests and literary magazines – I faced a predicament. For the first two submission days, I had passed the time editing earlier pieces, eventually (pretty quickly) resorting to screen snake when hopelessness made the words look like hieroglyphics. I must not have been as subtle as I thought, as on the third of these days, Ms. Jenkins approached me. After shifting from excuse to excuse as to why I did not submit my writing, I finally recognized the real reason I had withheld my work: I was scared. I did not want to be different, and I did not want to challenge not only others’ perceptions of me, but also my own. I yielded to Ms. Jenkin’s pleas and sent one of my pieces to an upcoming contest.

By the time the letter came, I had already forgotten about the contest. When the flimsy white envelope arrived in the mail, I was shocked and ecstatic to learn that I had received 2nd place in a nationwide writing competition. The next morning, however, I discovered Ms. Jenkins would make an announcement to the whole school exposing me as a poet. I decided to own this identity and embrace my friends’ jokes and playful digs, and over time, they have learned to accept and respect this part of me. I have since seen more boys at my school identifying themselves as writers or artists.

I no longer see myself as an athlete and a poet independently, but rather I see these two aspects forming a single inseparable identity – me. Despite their apparent differences, these two disciplines are quite similar, as each requires creativity and devotion. I am still a poet when I am lacing up my cleats for soccer practice and still an athlete when I am building metaphors in the back of my mind – and I have realized ice cream and gummy bears taste pretty good together.

This essay is cohesive as it centers around the theme of identity and the ability for two identities to coexist simultaneously (an interesting theme!). It uses the Full Circle ending strategy as it starts with a metaphor about food touching and ends with “I have realized ice cream and gummy bears taste pretty good together.”

The main issue with this essay is that it could come off as cliché, which could be irritating for admissions officers. The story described is notably similar to High School Musical (“I decided to own this identity and embrace my friends’ jokes and playful digs, and over time, they have learned to accept and respect this part of me”) and feels slightly overstated. 

At times, this essay is also confusing. In the first paragraph, it feels like the narrative is actually going to be about separating your food (and is somehow going to relate to the older brothers?). It is not entirely clear that this is a metaphor. Also, when the writer references the third submission day and then works backward to explain what a submission day is and that there are multiple throughout the semester, the timeline gets unnecessarily confusing. Reworking the way this paragraph unfolded would have been more compelling and less distracting.

Overall, this essay was interesting but could have been more polished to be more effective.

Prompt #3, Example #2

I walked into my middle school English class, and noticed a stranger behind my teacher’s desk. “Hello,” she said. “Today I will be your substitute teacher.” I groaned internally. “Let me start off by calling roll. Ally?” “Here!” exclaimed Ally. “Jack?” “Here.” “Rachel?” “Here.” “Freddie?” “Present.” And then– “…?” The awkward pause was my cue. “It’s Jasina,” I started. “You can just call me Jas. Here.” “Oh, Jasina. That’s unique.” The word “unique” made me cringe. I slumped back in my seat. The substitute continued calling roll, and class continued as if nothing had happened. Nothing had happened. Just a typical moment in a middle school, but I hated every second of it.

My name is not impossible to pronounce. It appears challenging initially, but once you hear it, “Jas-een-a”, then you can manage it. My nickname, Jas (pronounced “Jazz”), is what most people call me anyway, so I don’t have to deal with mispronunciation often. I am thankful that my parents named me Jasina (a Hebrew name), but whenever someone hears my name for the first time, they comment, and I assume they’re making assumptions about me. “Wow, Jas is a cool name.” She must be pretty cool.“I’ve never heard the name Jasina before.” She must be from somewhere exotic. “Jas, like Jazz?” She must be musical and artsy. None of these assumptions are bad, but they all add up to the same thing: She must be unique. 

When I was little, these sentiments felt more like commands than assumptions. I thought I had to be the most unique child of all time, which was a daunting task, but I tried. I was the only kid in the second grade to color the sun red. I knew it was really yellow, but you could always tell which drawings were mine. During snack time, we could choose between apple juice and grape juice. I liked apple juice more, but if everyone else was choosing apple, then I had to choose grape. This was how I lived my life, and it was exhausting. I tried to continue this habit into middle school, but it backfired. When everyone became obsessed with things like skinny jeans and Justin Bieber and blue mascara (that was a weird trend), my resistance of the norm made me socially awkward. I couldn’t talk to people about anything because we had nothing in common. I was too different. 

After 8th grade, I moved to Georgia, and I was dreading being the odd one out among kids who had grown up together. Then I discovered that my freshman year would be Cambridge High School’s inaugural year. Since there were students coming in from 5 different schools, there was no real sense of “normal”. I panicked. If there was no normal, then how could I be unique? That’s when I realized that I had spent so much energy going against the grain that I had no idea what my true interests were or what I really cared about. 

It was time to find out. I stopped concentrating on what everyone else was doing and started to focus on myself. I joined the basketball team, I performed in the school musical, and I enrolled in Chorus, all of which were firsts for me. I took art classes, joined clubs, and did whatever I thought would make me happy. And it paid off. I was no longer socially awkward. In fact, because I was involved in so many unrelated activities, I was socially flexible. My friends and I had things in common, but there was no one who could say that I was exactly like anyone else. I had finally become my own person.

My father named me Jasina because he wanted my nickname to be “Jazz.” According to Webster, “jazz” is “music characterized by syncopated rhythms, improvisation, and deliberate distortions of pitch.” Basically, jazz is music that is off-beat and unpredictable. It cannot be strictly defined. 

That sounds about right. 

Right off the bat, this essay starts extremely strong. The description of attendance in a class with ample quotes, awkward pauses, and the student’s internal dialogue immediately puts us in the middle of the action and establishes a lot of sympathy for this student before we’ve learned anything else. 

The strength of this essay continues into the second paragraph where the use of quotes, italics, and interjections from the student continues. All of these literary tools help the student express her voice and allow the reader to understand what this student goes through on a daily basis. Rather than just telling the reader people make assumptions about her name, she shows us what these assumptions look and sound like, and exactly how they make her feel.

The essay further shows us how the student approached her name by providing concrete examples of times she’s been intentionally unique throughout her life. Describing her drawing red suns and choosing grape juice bring her personality to life and allow her to express her deviance from the “norm” in a much more engaging and visual way than simply telling the reader she would go against the grain to be different on purpose.

One part of the essay that was a bit weaker than the others was the paragraph about her in high school. Although it was still well written and did a nice job of demonstrating how she got involved in multiple groups to find her new identity, it lacked the same level of showing employed in previous paragraphs. It would have been nice to see what “socially flexible” means either through a conversation she had with her friends or an example of a time she combined her interests from different groups in a way that was uniquely her.

The essay finishes off how it started: extremely strong. Taking a step back to fully explain the origin of her name neatly brings together everything mentioned in this essay. This ending is especially successful because she never explicitly states that her personality aligns with the definition of jazz. Instead, she relies on the points she has made throughout the essay to stick in the reader’s memory so they are able to draw the connection themselves, making for a much more satisfying ending for the reader.

Prompt #4 (OLD PROMPT; NOT THE CURRENT PROMPT): Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma – anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

Prompt #4, example #1.

“Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” 

Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation. 

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one. 

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand. 

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one. 

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself. 

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith. 

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities. 

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension. 

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities. 

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay is great because it has a strong introduction and a strong conclusion. The introduction is notably suspenseful and draws readers into the story. Because we know it is a college essay, we can assume that the student is one of the competitors, but at the same time, this introduction feels intentionally ambiguous as if the writer could be a competitor, a coach, a sibling of a competitor, or anyone else in the situation.

As we continue reading the essay, we learn that the writer is, in fact, the competitor. Readers also learn a lot about the student’s values as we hear their thoughts: “I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was.” Ultimately, the conflict and inner and outer turmoil is resolved through the “Same, but Different” ending technique as the student places themself in the same environment that we saw in the intro, but experiencing it differently due to their actions throughout the narrative. This is a very compelling strategy!

The main weakness of this essay is that it is slightly confusing at times—how the other students found coaches feels unintentionally under-explained (a simple phrase like “through pleading and attracting sympathy” in the fourth paragraph could have served the writer well) and a dojang is never defined. Additionally, the turn of the essay or “volta” could’ve packed a bigger punch. It is put quite simply with “I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.” A more suspenseful reveal could’ve served the author well because more drama did come later.

Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Prompt #5, example #1.

Tears streamed down my face and my mind was paralyzed with fear. Sirens blared, but the silent panic in my own head was deafening. I was muted by shock. A few hours earlier, I had anticipated a vacation in Washington, D.C., but unexpectedly, I was rushing to the hospital behind an ambulance carrying my mother. As a fourteen-year-old from a single mother household, without a driver’s license, and seven hours from home, I was distraught over the prospect of losing the only parent I had. My fear turned into action as I made some of the bravest decisions of my life. 

Three blood transfusions later, my mother’s condition was stable, but we were still states away from home, so I coordinated with my mother’s doctors in North Carolina to schedule the emergency operation that would save her life. Throughout her surgery, I anxiously awaited any word from her surgeon, but each time I asked, I was told that there had been another complication or delay. Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities.

My mother had been a source of strength for me, and now I would be strong for her through her long recovery ahead. As I started high school, everyone thought the crisis was over, but it had really just started to impact my life. My mother was often fatigued, so I assumed more responsibility, juggling family duties, school, athletics, and work. I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover. I didn’t know I was capable of such maturity and resourcefulness until it was called upon. Each day was a stage in my gradual transformation from dependence to relative independence.

Throughout my mother’s health crisis, I matured by learning to put others’ needs before my own. As I worried about my mother’s health, I took nothing for granted, cherished what I had, and used my daily activities as motivation to move forward. I now take ownership over small decisions such as scheduling daily appointments and managing my time but also over major decisions involving my future, including the college admissions process. Although I have become more independent, my mother and I are inseparably close, and the realization that I almost lost her affects me daily. Each morning, I wake up ten minutes early simply to eat breakfast with my mother and spend time with her before our busy days begin. I am aware of how quickly life can change. My mother remains a guiding force in my life, but the feeling of empowerment I discovered within myself is the ultimate form of my independence. Though I thought the summer before my freshman year would be a transition from middle school to high school, it was a transformation from childhood to adulthood.

This essay feels real and tells readers a lot about the writer. To start at the beginning, the intro is 10/10. It has drama, it has emotions, and it has the reader wanting more.

And, when you keep going, you get to learn a lot about a very resilient and mature student. Through sentences like “I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover” and “Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities,” the reader shows us that they are aware of their resilience and maturity, but are not arrogant about it. It is simply a fact that they have proven!

Sometimes writing about adversity can feel exploitative or oddly braggy. This student backs up everything they say with anecdotes that prove and show their strength and resilience, rather than just claiming their strengths. When I read this essay, I want to cheer for its writer! And I want to be able to continue cheering for them (perhaps, if I were an admissions officer, that would make me want them at my school!).

Prompt #5, Example #2

Armed with a red pen, I slowly walked across the room to a small, isolated table with pink stools. Swinging her legs, my young student beamed and giggled at me, slamming her pencil bag on the table and bending over to pick up one of her toys. Natalie always brought some new toy with her to lessons—toys which I would sternly take away from her and place under the table until she finished her work. At the tutoring center where I work, a strict emphasis on discipline leaves no room for paper crowns or rubber chickens. 

Today, she had with her a large stuffed eagle from a museum. As she pulled out her papers, I slid the eagle to the other side of the table. She looked eagerly around, attempting to chat with other students as I impatiently called her attention to her papers. “I should name my eagle,” she chimed, waving her pencil in the air. I cringed—there was no wondering why Natalie always had to sit by herself. She was the antithesis of my academic values, and undoubtedly the greatest adversary of my teaching style.  

As the lesson progressed, Natalie became more fitful; she refused to release her feathered friend, and kept addressing the bird for help with difficult problems. We both grew increasingly more frustrated. Determined to tame this wryly, wiggling student, I stood my ground, set on converting this disobedient child to my calm, measured ways of study.  

As time slowly crept by, I noticed that despite Natalie’s cheerful tone and bright smile, the stuffed eagle was troublesomely quiet and stern-faced. Much like myself. Both the eagle and I were getting nowhere in this lesson—so we hatched a quick plan. Lifting the eagle up in the air, I started reading in my best impersonation of an eagle, squawking my way through a spelling packet. The result provided a sense of instant gratification I never knew I needed. She sang out every letter, clapped her hands at every page, and followed along with the eagle, stopping at every few letters to declare that “E is for eagle” and pet her teacher fondly on the beak.  

Despite my ostensibly dissatisfied attitude toward my students, I did not join the tutoring center simply to earn money. I had always aspired to help others achieve their fullest potential. As a young adult, I felt that it was time for me to step out of the role of a pupil and into the influential role of a teacher, naively believing that I had the maturity and skill to adapt to any situation and help these students reach their highest achievements academically. For the most part, the role of a stern-faced, strict instructor helped me get by in the workplace, and while my students never truly looked happy, I felt that it was part of the process of conditioning a child to learn. 

Ironically, my transition to adulthood was the result of a stuffed animal. It was indisputable that I always had the skill to instruct others; the only thing needed to instruct someone is knowledge of the subject. However, it was only upon being introduced to a stuffed bird in which I realized that students receive the most help not from instructors, but teachers. While almost anyone can learn material and spit it back out for someone, it takes the maturity and passion of a teacher not only to help students improve in their students, but also to motivate them and develop them into better citizens. From my young pupil and her little bird, I have undergone a change in attitude which reflects a growth in maturity and ability to improve the lives of others that I hope to implement in my future role as a student, activist, and physician. My newfound maturity taught me that the letter “e” stands for many things: empathy, experience, enthusiasm, and eagle.

In this essay, the student effectively explores their values (and how they learned them!) then identifies these values through a reflective conclusion. While the writer humbly recognizes the initial faults in their teaching style, they do not position their initial discipline or rigidity as mean or poorly intentioned—simply ineffective. This is important because, when you are discussing a transition like this, you don’t want admissions officers to think of you as having been a bad person. 

My favorite part about this essay is its subtlety. The major shift in the essay comes through the simple sentence “The result provided a sense of instant gratification I never knew I needed.” The facts of this narrative are not too complicated. Simply put, the writer was strict then learned that it’s sometimes more effective not to be strict. The complexity of this narrative comes through reflection. Notably, through the ending, the student identifies their values (which they hadn’t given a name to before): “it takes the maturity and passion of a teacher not only to help students improve in their students, but also to motivate them and develop them into better citizens.” 

The final sentence of this essay ties things up very nicely. Readers are left satisfied with the essay and convinced that its writer is a kind human with a large capacity for reflection and consideration. That is a great image to paint of yourself!

Prompt #5, Example #3

When it’s quiet, I can still hear the Friday night gossip and giggles of my friends. It’s a stark contrast from the environment I’ve known all my life, my home. My family has always been one to keep to themselves; introverts with a hard-working mentality—my father especially. He spent most of his time at work and growing up without him around, I came to be at peace with the fact that I’d probably never really get to know him. The thought didn’t bother me at the time because I felt that we were very different. He was stoic and traditional; I was trying to figure out who I was and explore my interests. His disapproval of the American music I listened to and my penchant for wearing hand-me-downs made me see him as someone who wanted to restrain my individuality. That explains why I relied heavily on my friends throughout middle and high school; they liked me for who I was. I figured I would get lonely without my friends during quarantine, but these last few months stuck at home gave me the time to make a new friend: my father. 

It was June. I had the habit of sleeping with my windows open so I wouldn’t need to set an alarm; the warmth of the sun and the sounds of the neighborhood children playing outside would wake me. One morning, however, it was not the chirping of birds or the laughter of children I awoke to, but the shrill of a saw. Through the window screen, on the grass below, my father stood cutting planks of wood. I was confused but didn’t question him—what he did with his time was none of my business. It was not until the next day, when I was attempting to work on a sculpture for an art class, that the sounds of hammering and drills became too much to ignore. Seeking answers, I trudged across my backyard towards the corner he was in. On that day, all there was to see was the foundation of what he was building; a shed. My intrigue was replaced with awe; I was impressed by the precision of his craft. Sharp corners, leveled and sturdy, I could imagine what it would look like when the walls were up and the inside filled with the tools he had spread around the yard. 

Throughout the week, when I was trying to finish my sculpture for art class—thinking about its shape and composition—I could not help but think of my father. Art has always been a creative outlet for me, an opportunity to express myself at home. For my dad, his craftsmanship was his art. I realized we were not as different as I had thought; he was an artist like me. My glue and paper were his wood and nails.

That summer, I tried to spend more time with my dad than I have in all my 18 years of life. Waking up earlier than usual so we could have our morning coffees together and pretending to like his favorite band so he’d talk to me about it, I took advantage of every opportunity I had to speak with him. In getting to know him, I’ve recognized that I get my artistry from him. 

Reflecting on past relationships, I feel I am now more open to reconnecting with people I’ve perhaps misjudged. In reconciling, I’ve realized I held some bitterness towards him all these years, and in letting that go, my heart is lighter. Our reunion has changed my perspective; instead of vilifying him for spending so much time at work, I can appreciate how hard he works to provide for our family. When I hear him tinkering away at another home project, I can smile and look forward to asking him about it later.

This is an outstanding example of the great things that can be articulated through a reflective essay. As we read the essay, we are simply thinking alongside its author—thinking about their past relationship with their father, about their time in quarantine, about aspects of themselves they think could use attention and growth. 

While we reflect, we are also centered by the student’s anecdote about the sculpture and the shed during quarantine. By centering us in real-time, the student keeps us engaged in the reflection.

The main strength here is the maturity we see on the part of its writer. The student doesn’t say “and I realized my father was the best dad in the world;” they say “and I realized my father didn’t have to be the best dad in the world for me to give him a chance.” Lots of students show themselves as motivated, curious, or compassionate in their college essays, but a reflective essay that ends with a discussion of resentment and forgiveness shows true maturity.

Prompt #5, Example #4

As a wide-eyed, naive seven-year-old, I watched my grandmother’s rough, wrinkled hands pull and knead mercilessly at white dough until the countertop was dusted in flour. She steamed small buns in bamboo baskets, and a light sweetness lingered in the air. Although the mantou looked delicious, their papery, flat taste was always an unpleasant surprise. My grandmother scolded me for failing to finish even one, and when I complained about the lack of flavor she would simply say that I would find it as I grew older. How did my adult relatives seem to enjoy this Taiwanese culinary delight while I found it so plain?

During my journey to discover the essence of mantou, I began to see myself the same way I saw the steamed bun. I believed that my writing would never evolve beyond a hobby and that my quiet nature crippled my ambitions. Ultimately, I thought I had little to offer the world. In middle school, it was easy for me to hide behind the large personalities of my friends, blending into the background and keeping my thoughts company. Although writing had become my emotional outlet, no matter how well I wrote essays, poetry, or fiction, I could not stand out in a sea of talented students. When I finally gained the confidence to submit my poetry to literary journals but was promptly rejected, I stepped back from my work to begin reading from Whitman to Dickinson, Li-Young Lee to Ocean Vuong. It was then that I realized I had been holding back a crucial ingredient–my distinct voice. 

Over time, my taste buds began to mature, as did I. Mantou can be flavored with pork and eggplant, sweetened in condensed milk, and moistened or dried by the steam’s temperature. After I ate the mantou with each of these factors in mind, I noticed its environment enhanced a delicately woven strand of sweetness beneath the taste of side dishes: the sugar I had often watched my grandmother sift into the flour. The taste was nearly untraceable, but once I grasped it I could truly begin to cherish mantou. In the same way the taste had been lost to me for years, my writer’s voice had struggled to shine through because of my self-doubt and fear of vulnerability.

As I acquired a taste for mantou, I also began to strengthen my voice through my surrounding environment. With the support of my parents, peer poets, and the guidance of Amy Tan and the Brontё sisters, I worked tirelessly to uncover my voice: a subtle strand of sweetness. Once I stopped trying to fit into a publishing material mold and infused my uninhibited passion for my Taiwanese heritage into my writing, my poem was published in a literary journal. I wrote about the blatant racism Asians endured during coronavirus, and the editor of Skipping Stones Magazine was touched by both my poem and my heartfelt letter. I opened up about being ridiculed for bringing Asian food to school at Youth Leadership Forum, providing support to younger Asian-American students who reached out with the relief of finding someone they could relate to. I embraced writing as a way to convey my struggle with cultural identity. I joined the school’s creative writing club and read my pieces in front of an audience, honing my voice into one that flourishes out loud as well.

Now, I write and speak unapologetically, falling in love with a voice that I never knew I had. It inspires passion within my communities and imparts tenacity to Asian-American youth, rooting itself deeply into everything I write. Today, my grandmother would say that I have finally unearthed the taste of mantou as I savor every bite with a newfound appreciation. I can imagine her hands shaping the dough that has become my voice, and I am eager to share it with the world.

This essay is structurally-sound, with the student’s journey learning to savor mantou and their journey trying to find their voice serving as outstanding parallels. Additionally, as they describe the journey to find a voice in their writing, they definitely show off their voice! The clear introduction provides a great image and draws us in with an intriguing question. Additionally, their little inserts like “a strand of sweetness” and “falling in love with a voice that I never knew I had” work very well.

When the student describes their first published poem, however, their writing gets a little more stilted. This is a common error students make when writing about their achievements. If this student is writing about the craft that goes into writing, we should hear the details of the craft that went into the poem, instead of simply learning that they “opened up about being ridiculed for bringing Asian food to school at Youth Leadership Forum.” This is interesting information but would be stronger if it were supplemented by descriptions of the voice they created, comparisons to the styles of other poets, and analysis of their stylistic choices. This would make the essay feel more cohesive, centering entirely around concepts of voice and style.

Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Note: We don’t have a stellar example for this prompt, so instead, we’re sharing a couple examples that need improvement, and what can be done to make the essays more engaging. 

Prompt #6, Example #1

What factors shape the depth and allure of a literary character? This is the exact question I asked myself as my eyes riveted on the white pages covered with little black letters.

I was reading my old novels. I’ve written three novels and many short stories. Each of them repetitively portrayed the hero as intelligent and funny, and the antagonists as cold and manipulative. I came to the appalling realization that my characters were flat, neither exciting nor original. They just didn’t stand out! 

As Oscar Wilde said, ‘Vice and virtue are to the artist material to an art.’ Their mixing makes a novel addictive because its plot is rich with turnarounds and its characters more engaging. In his famous work The Picture of Dorian Gray , Wilde deconstructs the psyche of his characters. He brilliantly plays with the protagonist’s youthful appearance and the decaying portrait to build a truly unique idiosyncratic identity. The persona of Dorian Gray is so complicated a psychologist could analyze it for hours on end!

Inspired by this character, It was my turn to explore good and evil into characters to make my stories more enthralling. I skillfully played with vice and virtue, separating, merging them… My latest novel is the fruit of this exercise. I chose to set it in 20th century London. Its opium dens and exclusive salons; middle-class workers, peasants and politicians breathed the same newly industrialized air; modernity in Blackfriars bridge and tradition in St Paul’s Cathedral; all of these contrasts set the perfect environment for my characters to grow. Following Laclos’ Valmont, Maupassant’s Georges Duroy and Duffy’s Myra Hindley, I played with those contrasts to present an intricate character, truly creative – unlike my previous ones. Insanity, religion, depravity and love are merged into each character, reflecting Edwardian London. As I reflected on my work, I realized vice and virtue altogether made them more human and credible. These characters stood out, they were interesting, I even wanted to know more about them! 

After rewriting, erasing, typing, and thinking countless times, I realized writing is a unique exercise. Nothing is definite when you are holding a fountain pen, hearing its screeching sound on the white paper and watching the ebony ink forming letters. When I wasn’t too happy about a change I made in my story, I simply erased and rewrote it. Everything I imagined could happen: white pages are the only place the mouse eats the cat or the world is taken by a zombie attack! 

This exact exercise of diversifying my characters satisfied my relentless curiosity. Asking myself ‘how could this character be if she had lost her parents in a maritime tragedy?’ allowed me to view the world from different perspectives (some very dissimilar to my own) and considering how each character would react to different situations brought them to life. As I was writing, I was aiming to change the usual narratives I had previously traversed. I loved experimenting with countless personality traits in my characters – minutes flowing, my hand dancing on the paper as my mind was singing words coming alive….

There were times where my hand just stopped writing and my mind stopped raging. I tried thinking differently, changing a character’s background, the story, the setting. I was inspired by Zola, A.Carter, Fitzgerald, the Brontë sisters… I could observe the different reactions of their characters, and reflect on mine theoretically. But it was only part one of the work: I then had to write, sometimes aimlessly, sometimes frantically, always leading to fresh ideas – I was exploring the practical, trying, erasing and rewriting. Both theory and practice are required to gain intellectual independence and experience, in writing and more globally: before I can change a character, I have to understand it. Before we can change the world, we have to understand it.

The main strength of this essay is the authenticity of the topic the student chose. They aren’t making anything up or stretching the truth. Writing is something that captivates them, and that captivation shines through—particularly through their fourth paragraph (where they geek out over specific plots and characters) and their fifth paragraph (where they joyfully describe how writing has no limitations). Admissions officers want to see this passion and intensity in applicants! The fact that this student has already written three novels also shows dedication and is impressive.

The main weakness of this essay is its structure. Ironically, it is not super captivating. The essay would have been more compelling if the student utilized a “anecdote – answer – reflection” structure. This student’s current introduction involves a reflective question, citations about their past writing experience, then their thoughts on Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray. Instead, this student could’ve provided one cohesive (and powerful!) image of them being frustrated with their own writing then being inspired by Dorian Gray. This would look something like:

“I stayed up three nights in a row studying my own writing—bored by my own writing. The only thing more painful than seeing failure in the fruits of your labor is not seeing a path for improvement. I had written three novels and numerous short stories, and all I could come up with was funny and intelligent heroes going up against cold and manipulative villains. What kind of writer was so consistently cliche? On the third night, I wandered over to my bookshelf. Mrs. Dalloway caught my eye (it has such a beautiful cover). I flipped through. Then, I grabbed Giovanni’s Room . I was so obsessed with my shortcomings that I couldn’t even focus long enough to see what these authors were doing right. I picked up The Picture of Dorian Gray and decided to just start reading. By the end of the night, I was captivated.”

An introduction like this would flow nicely into the student describing their experience with Dorian Gray then, because of that experience, describing how they have altered their approach to writing. The conclusion of this essay would then be this student’s time for reflection. Instead of repeating content about their passion—“I then had to write, sometimes aimlessly, sometimes frantically” and “I was exploring the practical, trying, erasing and rewriting”—, the student could dedicate their conclusion to reflecting on the reasons that writing is so captivating or the ways that (until the day they die) writers will always be perfecting their craft.

This essay is a great example of how important it is to pick a topic that truly excites you. It also illustrates how important it is to effectively structure that excitement.

Prompt #6, Example #2

Astonished by the crashing sound of waves in my ear, I was convinced this magical shell actually held the sound of the big blue sea — my six-year-old self was heartbroken when I couldn’t take the thirty-dollar artificial shell from SeaWorld’s gift shop . It distinctly reminded me of the awestruck feeling I had when I witnessed the churning waves of a windy night by the ocean the previous weekend; I lost track of time gazing at the distant moonlit border dividing our world from the ever-growing black void. Turning to my mom, I inquired curiously, “Can we go to the place where the water ends one day?”

She explained to me I could never reach the end of the ocean because the harsh line I had seen was actually an illusion called the horizon —  there was no material end to the ocean. For a mind as young as mine was, the idea of infinity was incomprehensible. As my infatuation with the ocean continued to grow, I finally understood that regardless of how far I travel, the horizon is unattainable because it’s not a physical limit. This idea is why the ocean captivates me — no matter how much you discover, there is always more to explore. 

Learning about and exploring the ocean provided an escape from one reality into another; though we are on the same planet, it’s an entirely separate world. Through elementary and middle school, I devoted vast amounts of my free time to learning about simpler concepts like a dolphin’s ability to echolocate and coral reef ecosystems. I rented countless documentaries and constantly checked out books from my local library — my all-time favorite was an episode of the television series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey titled “The Lost Worlds of Planet Earth.” This episode remained memorable because it was centered around the impacts of fossil fuels on marine animals; it was the first time I’d learned about the impending crisis we are faced with due to the human mistreatment of our planet.

Prior to viewing that episode, I relied on the ocean as an outlet — I fueled all of my emotions into studying marine organisms. Once I learned of its grave future, I delved into the world of environmental activism. This path was much more disheartening than studying echolocation — inevitable death due to climate change took a toll on my mental health. I attended two climate strikes in November of my sophomore year. Following the strikes, I joined Sunrise Movement Sacramento, a youth-led climate justice organization advocating for the Green New Deal. While analyzing legislation and organizing protests were significant takeaways from my experience with climate activism, they were not the most important. I became an organizer because of my love for the ocean and I remain an organizer because of my passion for dissolving the disproportionalities marginalized groups face due to the sacrificing of people’s livelihood for the sake of profit. The more I learned about our modern society, the more hopeless I grew that I could see any significant change within my lifetime.

However, this hopelessness comes in waves; every day, I remind myself of the moment I discovered the horizon. Or the moment I first dove into the beautiful waters of the Hawaiian coast and immediately was surrounded by breathtaking seas of magnificent creatures and coral gardens — life felt ethereal and beautiful. I remind myself that like the ocean, the vast majority of the universe has yet to be discovered; that distant border holds infinite opportunity to learn. In a universe as vast as ours, and life as rare as ours, individuals still choose to prioritize avarice over our planet. Despite this grave individualism, the ocean reminds me every day there is hope in the fight for a better world. Though I will never discover every inch of the ocean’s floor, I will forever envision and reach for new horizons.

Sometimes the path to a great essay is taking something normal and using it to show admissions officers who you are and what you value—that is precisely this student’s approach! Finding the ocean fascinating is not unique to this student. Tons of kids (and adults, too!) are obsessed with the ocean. What this student does is take things a step further as they explain their curiosity about the ocean in relation to their pain about the destruction of the environment. This capacity for reflection is great!

This student shows a good control of language through their thematic centering on ocean and horizons that carries through their essay—with ”this hopelessness comes in waves” and “I will forever envision and reach for new horizons.” The details provided throughout are also effective at keeping readers engaged—things like “ my six-year-old self was heartbroken when I couldn’t take the thirty-dollar artificial shell from SeaWorld’s gift shop” and “ my all-time favorite was an episode of the television series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey titled “The Lost Worlds of Planet Earth.”

The main weakness of this essay is the lack of reflection when the student discusses environmental activism. There’s reflection on the student’s connection to the ocean and horizons at the beginning and at the end, but when the student discusses activism, the tone shifts from focusing on their internal thoughts to their external actions. Remember, a lot of students write about environmental activism, but not a lot of students write about an emotional connection to the ocean as an impetus for environmental activism. This student would stand out more to admissions officers if they had dug into questions of what the ocean means to them (and says about them) in the paragraphs beginning “Learning about and exploring the ocean…” and “Prior to viewing that episode.”

Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Prompt #7, example #1.

Scalding hot water cascades over me, crashing to the ground in a familiar, soothing rhythm. Steam rises to the ceiling as dried sweat and soap suds swirl down the drain. The water hisses as it hits my skin, far above the safe temperature for a shower. The pressure is perfect on my tired muscles, easing the aches and bruises from a rough bout of sparring and the tension from a long, stressful day. The noise from my overactive mind dies away, fading into music, lyrics floating through my head. Black streaks stripe the inside of my left arm, remnants of the penned reminders of homework, money owed and forms due. 

It lacks the same dynamism and controlled intensity of sparring on the mat at taekwondo or the warm tenderness of a tight hug from my father, but it’s still a cocoon of safety as the water washes away the day’s burdens. As long as the hot water is running, the rest of the world ceases to exist, shrinking to me, myself and I. The shower curtain closes me off from the hectic world spinning around me. 

Much like the baths of Blanche DuBois, my hot showers are a means of cleansing and purifying (though I’m mostly just ridding myself of the germs from children at work sneezing on me). In the midst of a hot shower, there is no impending exam to study for, no newspaper deadline to meet, no paycheck to deposit. It is simply complete and utter peace, a safe haven. The steam clears my mind even as it clouds my mirror. 

Creativity thrives in the tub, breathing life into tales of dragons and warrior princesses that evolve only in my head, never making their way to paper but appeasing the childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me all the same. That one calculus problem that has seemed unsolvable since second period clicks into place as I realize the obvious solution. The perfect concluding sentence to my literary analysis essay writes itself (causing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely).  

Ever since I was old enough to start taking showers unaided, I began hogging all the hot water in the house, a source of great frustration to my parents. Many of my early showers were rudely cut short by an unholy banging on the bathroom door and an order to “stop wasting water and come eat dinner before it gets cold.” After a decade of trudging up the stairs every evening to put an end to my water-wasting, my parents finally gave in, leaving me to my (expensive) showers. I imagine someday, when paying the water bill is in my hands, my showers will be shorter, but today is not that day (nor, hopefully, will the next four years be that day). 

Showers are better than any ibuprofen, the perfect panacea for life’s daily ailments. Headaches magically disappear as long as the water runs, though they typically return in full force afterward. The runny nose and itchy eyes courtesy of summertime allergies recede. Showers alleviate even the stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control. 

Honestly though, the best part about a hot shower is neither its medicinal abilities nor its blissful temporary isolation or even the heavenly warmth seeped deep into my bones. The best part is that these little moments of pure, uninhibited contentedness are a daily occurrence. No matter how stressful the day, showers ensure I always have something to look forward to. They are small moments, true, but important nonetheless, because it is the little things in life that matter; the big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happy. Wherever I am in the world, whatever fate chooses to throw at me, I know I can always find my peace at the end of the day behind the shower curtain.

This essay is relatable yet personal! The writer makes themself supremely human through discussing the universal subject of showering. That being said, an essay about showering could easily turn boring while still being relatable. This writer keeps its relatable moments interesting and fun through vivid descriptions of common feelings including “causing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely” and “the stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control.”

While describing a universal feeling, this student also cleverly and intentionally mentions small facts about their life through simple phrases like “I’m mostly just ridding myself of the germs from children at work sneezing on me” and “the childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me.” To put it simply, though we are talking about a shower, we learn about so much more!

And, at the end, the student lets us know that that is exactly why they love showers. Showers are more than meets the eye! With this insightful and reflective ending (“the big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happy”), readers learn about this student’s capacity for reflection, which is an important capacity as you enter college.

The one major error that this writer commits is that of using a trite transition. The inclusion of “Honestly though” at the beginning of this student’s ending detracts from what they are trying to say and sticks out in their writing.

Prompt #7, Example #2

Steam whooshed from the pot as I unveiled my newest creation: duck-peppercorn-chestnut dumplings. The spicy, hearty aroma swirled into the kitchen, mingling with the smell of fresh dough. Grinning, I grabbed a plump dumpling with chopsticks, blew carefully, and fed it into the waiting mouth of my little sister. Her eyes widening, she vigorously nodded and held up five stubby fingers. I did a little happy dance in celebration and pulled my notebook out of my apron pocket. Duck-peppercorn-chestnut: five stars.

In my household, dumplings are a far cry from the classic pork and cabbage. Our menu boasts everything from the savory lamb-bamboo shoot-watercress to the sweet and crispy apple-cinnamon-date. A few years ago, my sister claimed she was sick of eating the same flavors over and over. Refusing to let her disavow our family staple, I took her complaint as a challenge to make the tastiest and most unconventional dumplings to satisfy her. With her as my taste tester and Mum in charge of dough, I spent months experimenting with dozens of odd ingredient combinations. 

During those days spent covered in flour, my dumplings often reminded me of myself—a hybrid of ingredients that don’t usually go together. I am the product of three distinct worlds: the suburbs of Boston, the rural Chinese village of [location removed], and the coastal city of [location removed]. At school, I am both the STEM nerd with lightning-fast mental math and the artistic plant mom obsessed with funky earrings. I love all that is elegant, from Chinese calligraphy to the rolling notes of the Gourd flute, yet I can be very not elegant, like when my sister and I make homemade slime. When I’m on the streets, marching for women’s rights and climate action, I’m loud, bellowing from the bottom of my gut. In the painting studio, though, I don’t speak unless spoken to, and hours can slip by like minutes. I’m loud and quiet. Elegant and messy. Nerdy and artistic. Suburban, rustic, and metropolitan.

While I’m full of odd combinations, they are only seemingly contradictory. Just as barbeque pork and pineapple can combine beautifully in a dumpling wrapper, different facets of my identity also converge. After my tenth-grade summer, when I spent six weeks studying design at art school and another three researching the brain at Harvard Med, I began asking myself: What if I mixed art and neuroscience together? That fall, I collaborated with my school’s art museum for an independent research project, exploring two questions: How are aesthetic experiences processed in the brain? And how can neuroscience help museums design exhibits that maximize visitor engagement? I combed through studies with results from tightly controlled experiments, and I spent days gathering my own qualitative data by observing museum visitors and asking them questions. With the help of my artistic skills, I could identify the visual and spatial elements of the exhibits that best held visitors’ attention. 

By synergizing two of the ingredients that make me who I am—art and neuroscience—I realized I shouldn’t see the different sides of myself as separate. I learned to instead seek the intersections between aspects of my identity. Since then, I have mixed art with activism to voice my opinions nonverbally, created Spotify playlists with both Chinese and western pop, and written flute compositions using music theory and math. In the future, by continuing to combine my interests, I want to find my niche in the world. I can make a positive impact on society without having to choose just one passion. As of now, my dream is to be a neuroscientist who designs art therapy treatments for mental health patients. Who knows though? Maybe my calling is to be a dim sum chef who teaches pottery on the side. I don’t know where I’ll go, but one thing’s for sure—being a standard pork and cabbage dumpling is definitely not my style.

This essay is outstanding because the student seems likable and authentic. With the first image of the student’s little sister vigorously nodding and holding up “five stubby fingers,” we find ourselves intrigued by the student’s daily life. They additionally show the importance of family, culture, and creativity in their life—these are great things to highlight in your essay!

After the introduction, the student uses their weird dumpling anecdote to transition to a discussion of their unique intersections. This is achieved smoothly because weirdness/uniqueness is the focus of both of these topics. Additionally, the comparison is not awkward because dumplings are used as more than just a transition, but rather are the through-line of the essay—the student weaves in little phrases like “Just as barbeque pork and pineapple can combine beautifully in a dumpling wrapper,” “By synergizing two of the ingredients that make me who I am,” and “being a standard pork and cabbage dumpling is definitely not my style.” This gives the essay its cohesive feel.

Authenticity comes through in this essay as the student recognizes that they don’t know what the future holds. They just know what kind of a person they are—a passionate one! 

One change that would improve this student’s essay would be focusing on fewer intersections in their third and last paragraph. The student mentions STEM, music, family activities, activism, and painting, which makes it feel like a distraction in middle of the essay. Focus on the most important things you want to show admissions officers—you can sit at intersections, but you can’t be interested in everything.

Prompt #7, Example #3

“Everyone follow me!” I smiled at five wide-eyed skaters before pushing off into a spiral. I glanced behind me hopefully, only to see my students standing frozen like statues, the fear in their eyes as clear as the ice they swayed on. “Come on!” I said encouragingly, but the only response I elicited was the slow shake of their heads. My first day as a Learn-to-Skate coach was not going as planned. 

But amid my frustration, I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater. At seven, I had been fascinated by Olympic performers who executed thrilling high jumps and dizzying spins with apparent ease, and I dreamed to one day do the same. My first few months on skates, however, sent these hopes crashing down: my attempts at slaloms and toe-loops were shadowed by a stubborn fear of falling, which even the helmet, elbow pads, and two pairs of mittens I had armed myself with couldn’t mitigate. Nonetheless, my coach remained unfailingly optimistic, motivating me through my worst spills and teaching me to find opportunities in failures. With his encouragement, I learned to push aside my fears and attack each jump with calm and confidence; it’s the hope that I can help others do the same that now inspires me to coach. 

I remember the day a frustrated staff member directed Oliver, a particularly hesitant young skater, toward me, hoping that my patience and steady encouragement might help him improve. Having stood in Oliver’s skates not much earlier myself, I completely empathized with his worries but also saw within him the potential to overcome his fears and succeed. 

To alleviate his anxiety, I held Oliver’s hand as we inched around the rink, cheering him on at every turn. I soon found though, that this only increased his fear of gliding on his own, so I changed my approach, making lessons as exciting as possible in hopes that he would catch the skating bug and take off. In the weeks that followed, we held relay races, played “freeze-skate” and “ice-potato”, and raced through obstacle courses; gradually, with each slip and subsequent success, his fear began to abate. I watched Oliver’s eyes widen in excitement with every skill he learned, and not long after, he earned his first skating badge. Together we celebrated this milestone, his ecstasy fueling my excitement and his pride mirroring my own. At that moment, I was both teacher and student, his progress instilling in me the importance of patience and a positive attitude. 

It’s been more than ten years since I bundled up and stepped onto the ice for the first time. Since then, my tolerance for the cold has remained stubbornly low, but the rest of me has certainly changed. In sharing my passion for skating, I have found a wonderful community of eager athletes, loving parents, and dedicated coaches from whom I have learned invaluable lessons and wisdom. My fellow staffers have been with me, both as friends and colleagues, and the relationships I’ve formed have given me far more poise, confidence, and appreciation for others. Likewise, my relationships with parents have given me an even greater gratitude for the role they play: no one goes to the rink without a parent behind the wheel! 

Since that first lesson, I have mentored dozens of children, and over the years, witnessed tentative steps transform into powerful glides and tears give way to delighted grins. What I have shared with my students has been among the greatest joys of my life, something I will cherish forever. It’s funny: when I began skating, what pushed me through the early morning practices was the prospect of winning an Olympic medal. Now, what excites me is the chance to work with my students, to help them grow, and to give back to the sport that has brought me so much happiness. 

A major strength of this essay comes in its narrative organization. When reading this first paragraph, we feel for the young skaters and understand their fear—skating sounds scary! Then, because the writer sets us up to feel this empathy, the transition to the second paragraph where the student describes their empathy for the young skaters is particularly powerful. It’s like we are all in it together! The student’s empathy for the young skaters also serves as an outstanding, seamless transition to the applicant discussing their personal journey with skating: “I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater.”

This essay positions the applicant as a grounded and caring individual. They are caring towards the young skaters—changing their teaching style to try to help the young skaters and feeling the young skaters’ emotions with them—but they are also appreciative to those who helped them as they reference their fellow staffers and parents. This shows great maturity—a favorable quality in the eyes of an admissions officer.

At the end of the essay, we know a lot about this student and are convinced that they would be a good addition to a college campus!

Prompt #7, Example #4

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Prompt #7, Example #5

“We’re ready for take-off!” 

The tires hit the tarmac and began to accelerate, and I just realized what I had signed up for. For 24 hours straight, I strapped myself into a broken-down SUV whereas others chose the luxury of soaring through the skies for a mere two hours. Especially with my motion sickness and driving anxiety, I would call myself crazy too.

To say I have always remained in my comfort zone is an understatement. Did I always order chicken fingers and fries at a restaurant? Yup! Sounds like me. Did I always create a color-coded itinerary just for a day trip? Guilty as charged. Did I always carry a first-aid kit at all times? Of course! I would make even an ambulance look unprepared. And yet here I was, choosing 1,000 miles of misery from Las Vegas to Seattle despite every bone in my body telling me not to.

The sunlight blinded my eyes and a wave of nausea swept over me. Was it too late to say I forgot my calculator? It was only ten minutes in, and I was certain that the trip was going to be a disaster. I simply hoped that our pre-drive prayer was not stuck in God’s voicemail box. 

All of a sudden, I noticed brightly colored rocks in the distance, ones I had been dying to see for years. Their fluorescence popped amongst the magnificent winding hills as the sunset became romantic in hue. The desert glistened with mirages of deep blue water unlike anything I had ever seen. Nevada was home, but home always seemed to be just desert and casinos. For once, I looked forward to endless desert outside my window rather than a sea of clouds.

I never realized how little I discovered of the world beyond home. For years I complained about how there was nothing to do or discover outside. Not once did I set out to prove myself wrong. Instead, I chose a daily routine of homework at the kitchen table and late-night TV. However, as summer vacation ended, I decided to set my stubbornness aside and finally give this drive back home a chance. Little did I know that it would turn out to be my favorite trip of all time. 

As we drove along, the world chose to prove me wrong when I discovered Heaven on Earth along Shasta Lake. I stood out of the sunroof, surrounded by lush green mountains and fog. I extended my arms out and felt a sense of flight that no plane could ever take me on. As the water vapor kissed my face, I floated into a dreamland I never wanted to leave. I didn’t have to go to great lengths to discover the beauty of the world; it was right in front of me.  From this moment on, comfort and convenience would no longer be my best friends. Rather than only looking for famous travel destinations or following carefully mapped-out routes, I would let curiosity lead the way. 

Since then, my daily life has been anything but routine. I’m proud to boast of my family’s homemade kombucha attempts, of flights purchased and taken in one day, and of a home flooded with knick-knacks from thrifting trips. Every day I set out to try something new, see a different perspective, and go beyond normal. Whether it is by trying a new recipe using taro, making a risky fashion choice with wide-legged pants, or listening to a new music genre in Spanish, I always act with curiosity first.

Over the years, I have devoted my time towards learning Swedish, building computers, and swimming. Although my accent is horrid, some computers almost broke, and even a starfish would outswim me, I continue to enjoy activities I once criticized. For me, there is no enjoyment without some risk. Nobody I know is a kazoo-playing, boogie-board loving, boba connoisseur like me.

This essay is an Overcoming Challenges story that centers around a single anecdote. The structure works nicely as the student describes what they were like before their road trip, what happened on the road trip, and what they were like after. 

The most major improvement that this essay needs is better-communicated authenticity. At the beginning, it feels a bit gimmicky. The student describes their preparedness, particularly the fact that they always carry a first aid kit, and it’s not super believable. Then, when they write “Was it too late to say I forgot my calculator?” it feels like we are in a sitcom and the student is that funny obsessive kid. Sitcom characters don’t feel real and you want to make yourself appear profoundly real.

On a similar note, the narrative arc of this essay isn’t entirely believable. The student describes a large personality and value shift but doesn’t describe any struggles that accompany the shift. A quick shift like that is far from easy. On the other hand, if the immediacy of the shift was easy, they could write about moments after their shift in mindset when they have felt troubled by residual desires to stay in their comfort zone, instead of writing “I always act with curiosity first.”

The greatest strength of this essay is the paragraphs beginning “I never realized how little…” and “As we drove along…” The fixation on comfort seems much more believable when it involves “homework at the kitchen table and late-night TV.” The descriptions of the drive provide beautiful, evocative imagery. And it’s topped off with some nice reflection! Digging into this great portion of the essay would make this an even stronger essay!

Want to see more examples? Check out this post with 16 strong essay examples from top schools , including common supplemental essay questions.

At selective schools, your essays account for around 25% of your admissions decision. That’s more than grades (20%) and test scores (15%), and almost as much as extracurriculars (30%). Why is this? Most students applying to top schools will have stellar academics and extracurriculars. Your essays are your chance to stand out and humanize your application.

That’s why it’s vital that your essays are engaging, and present you as someone who would enrich the campus community.

Before submitting your application, you should have someone else review your essays. It’s even better if that person doesn’t know you personally, as they can best tell whether your personality shines through your essay. 

That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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• Tags: Academic Writing , Essay , Essay Writing

Knowing how to write an essay can help you out significantly in both, your academic and professional life. An essay is a highly versatile nonfiction piece of writing that not only tests your knowledge of a topic but also your literary and argumentative skills.     

Each essay requires the same basic process of planning, writing, and editing. Naturally, we’ve used these stages to group our steps on how to write an essay. So w ithout further ado, let’s get into it! Here are the eight steps to write an essay:

Stage 1: Planning

1. Pick an appropriate research topic

In certain cases, your teacher or professor may assign you a topic. However, in many cases, students have the freedom to select a topic of their choice. Make sure you choose a topic that you’re well versed in and have significant knowledge of. 

Having prior knowledge of the topic will help you determine the subsequent steps to write an essay. It will also make your research process considerably easier.

2. Form an appropriate thesis statement

A thesis statement is the central idea or premise your essay is based on. It is usually a sentence or two long and is included in the introduction of the essay. The scope of your thesis statement depends on the type of your essay and its length.

For instance, the scope of the thesis statement for a 500–1000 word school essay will be narrower than a 1000–5000 word college essay. A rule of thumb is that your essay topic should be broad enough to gather enough information, but narrow enough to address specific points and not be vague. Here’s an example: 

The invention of the airplane by the Wright Brothers in 1903 revolutionized transportation and paved the way for modern aviation. It represents a monumental achievement in human history that forever changed the course of human civilization.

3. Create an essay outline

Creating a well-organized essay outline not only gives structure and flow to your essay but also makes it more impactful and easy to understand. The idea is to collect the main points of information that support or elaborate on your thesis statement. You can also include references or examples under these main points. 

For example, if your thesis statement revolves around the invention of the airplane, your main points will include travel before the invention of the airplane, how it was invented, and its effects on modern-day travel. Take a look:

The Wright Brothers’ invention had a massive impact on modern-day travel. The subsequent growth of the aviation industry led to increased accessibility of air travel to the general public.

Stage 2: Writing

4. Write a comprehensive introduction

After creating the basic outline, it is important to know how to write an essay. Begin your essay by introducing your voice and point of view to the reader. An introduction is usually a paragraph or two long and consists of three main parts:

• Background information
• Thesis statement

Let’s better understand this with the help of an example:

The Wright Brothers’ invention of the airplane in 1903 revolutionized the way humans travel and explore the world. Prior to this invention, transportation relied on trains, boats, and cars, which limited the distance and speed of travel. However, the airplane made air travel a reality, allowing people to reach far-off destinations in mere hours. This breakthrough paved the way for modern-day air travel, transforming the world into a smaller, more connected place. In this essay, we will explore the impact of the Wright Brothers’ invention on modern-day travel, including the growth of the aviation industry, increased accessibility of air travel to the general public, and the economic and cultural benefits of air travel.

Let’s understand how to construct each of these sections in more detail.

A. Construct an attractive hook

The opening sentence of an essay, also known as the hook, should include a powerful or startling statement that captures the reader’s attention. Depending on the type of your essay, it can be an interesting fact, a surprising statistic, or an engaging anecdote. 

B. Provide relevant background information

While writing the introduction, it’s important to provide context or background information before including the thesis statement. The background information may include the time before a groundbreaking invention, the pros and cons of a significant discovery, or the short- and long-term effects of an event.

C. Edit the thesis statement

If you’ve constructed your thesis statement during the outlining stage, it’s time to edit it based on the background information you’ve provided. Observe the slight changes we’ve made to the scope of the thesis statement in the example above. This accommodates the bits of information we’ve provided in the background history.

5. Form relevant body paragraphs

Body paragraphs play a crucial role in supporting and expanding the central argument presented in the thesis statement. The number of body paragraphs depends on the type of essay as well as the scope of the thesis statement.

Most school-level essays contain three body paragraphs while college-level essays can vary in length depending on the assignment.

A well-crafted body paragraph consists of the following parts:

• A topic sentence
• Supporting information
• An analysis of the information
• A smooth transition to the next paragraph

Let’s understand this with the help of an example. 

The Wright Brothers’ invention of the airplane revolutionized air travel. They achieved the first-ever successful powered flight with the Wright Flyer in 1903, after years of conducting experiments and studying flight principles. Despite their first flight lasting only 12 seconds, it was a significant milestone that paved the way for modern aviation. The Wright Brothers’ success can be attributed to their systematic approach to problem-solving, which included numerous experiments with gliders, the development of a wind tunnel to test their designs, and meticulous analysis and recording of their results. Their dedication and ingenuity forever changed the way we travel, making modern aviation possible.

Here’s a detailed overview of how to construct each of these sections.

A. Construct appropriate topic sentences

A topic sentence is the title of the body paragraph that elaborates on the thesis statement. It is the main idea on which the body paragraph is developed. Ensure that each topic sentence is relevant to the thesis statement and makes the essay flow seamlessly. 

The order of topic sentences is key in creating an impactful essay. This order varies depending on the type of essay you choose to write. These sentences may be arranged chronologically, in the order of importance, or in a cause-and-effect format.

B. Provide supporting information

It is necessary to provide relevant supporting information and evidence to validate your topic statement. This may include examples, relevant statistics, history, or even personal anecdotes.

You should also remember to cite your sources wherever you use them to substantiate your arguments. Always give researchers and authors credit for their work!

C. Analyze the supporting information

After presenting the appropriate evidence, the next step is to conduct an in-depth analysis. Establish connections and provide additional details to strengthen the link between your topic sentence and the supporting information. 

Depending on the type of essay, this step may also involve sharing your subjective opinions and key takeaways.

D. Create a smooth transition

In case you plan to create multiple body paragraphs, it is crucial to create a seamless transition between them. Transitional statements not only make the essay less jarring to read but also guide the reader in the right direction.

However, these statements need not be too lengthy and complicated. Use words such as “however”, “in addition to”, and “therefore” to convey transitions.

6. Construct an impactful conclusion

An impactful conclusion creates a lasting impression on the mind of the reader. Although it varies in length depending on the specific essay, the conclusion is typically a paragraph long.

It consists of

• A restated thesis statement
• Summary of the main points
• The broader implications of the thesis statement

Here’s an example of a well-structured conclusion:

The Wright Brothers’ invention of the airplane forever changed history by paving the way for modern aviation and countless aerospace advancements. Their persistence, innovation, and dedication to problem-solving led to the first successful powered flight in 1903, sparking a revolution in transportation that transformed the world. Today, air travel remains an integral part of our globalized society, highlighting the undeniable impact of the Wright Brothers’ contribution to human civilization.  

Let’s take a closer look at how to construct each of these sections.

A. Restate the thesis statement

Your conclusion should call back to your original argument or thesis statement.

However, this does not mean repeating the thesis statement as is. The essence of your argument should remain the same, but it should also be modified and evolved as per the information presented in your essay.

B. Summarize important points

A powerful conclusion not only lingers in the reader’s mind but also provokes thought. You can create a strong impression on the reader by highlighting the most impactful points of your essay.

C. State the greater implications

End your essay with the most powerful and impactful part: the larger perspective. This can‌ include a question you’d like to leave the reader with, the broader implications and impact of your thesis statement, or the long-term, lingering effects of your experience. 

Make sure to include no new evidence or arguments, or to undermine your findings in any way. 

Stage 3: Editing

7. Review your essay

Knowing how to write an essay is just one part of essay writing. Properly reviewing and editing your essay is just as important. Make sure to spend enough time going over your essay and adding any bits of information that you’ve missed. 

This is also a good time to make minor structural changes in your essay.

8. Thoroughly proofread your essay

After making the necessary structural changes, recheck your essay word by word. It is important to not only correct major grammatical and spelling errors but also minor errors regarding the phrasing or tone of voice.

You can either choose to do this by yourself, ask a friend for assistance, or hire an essay proofreading service to go over your writing. To construct a fool-proof, error-free essay, it is helpful to have a trained pair of eyes go over it. Professional proofreaders can spot errors that are not visible to most people and set the right tone for your essay. 

Now that you know the basics of how to write an essay, it’s time to learn about the specifics. Feel free to dig into the articles below and keep reading!

• How to Write an Essay Header in 4 Steps
• How to Write an Essay Outline
• What is an Expository Essay?
• How to Start an Essay

Frequently Asked Questions

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• Published: 30 October 2023

A large-scale comparison of human-written versus ChatGPT-generated essays

• Steffen Herbold 1 ,
• Annette Hautli-Janisz 1 ,
• Ute Heuer 1 ,
• Zlata Kikteva 1 &
• Alexander Trautsch 1  

Scientific Reports volume  13 , Article number:  18617 ( 2023 ) Cite this article

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• Computer science
• Information technology

ChatGPT and similar generative AI models have attracted hundreds of millions of users and have become part of the public discourse. Many believe that such models will disrupt society and lead to significant changes in the education system and information generation. So far, this belief is based on either colloquial evidence or benchmarks from the owners of the models—both lack scientific rigor. We systematically assess the quality of AI-generated content through a large-scale study comparing human-written versus ChatGPT-generated argumentative student essays. We use essays that were rated by a large number of human experts (teachers). We augment the analysis by considering a set of linguistic characteristics of the generated essays. Our results demonstrate that ChatGPT generates essays that are rated higher regarding quality than human-written essays. The writing style of the AI models exhibits linguistic characteristics that are different from those of the human-written essays. Since the technology is readily available, we believe that educators must act immediately. We must re-invent homework and develop teaching concepts that utilize these AI models in the same way as math utilizes the calculator: teach the general concepts first and then use AI tools to free up time for other learning objectives.

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Introduction.

The massive uptake in the development and deployment of large-scale Natural Language Generation (NLG) systems in recent months has yielded an almost unprecedented worldwide discussion of the future of society. The ChatGPT service which serves as Web front-end to GPT-3.5 1 and GPT-4 was the fastest-growing service in history to break the 100 million user milestone in January and had 1 billion visits by February 2023 2 .

Driven by the upheaval that is particularly anticipated for education 3 and knowledge transfer for future generations, we conduct the first independent, systematic study of AI-generated language content that is typically dealt with in high-school education: argumentative essays, i.e. essays in which students discuss a position on a controversial topic by collecting and reflecting on evidence (e.g. ‘Should students be taught to cooperate or compete?’). Learning to write such essays is a crucial aspect of education, as students learn to systematically assess and reflect on a problem from different perspectives. Understanding the capability of generative AI to perform this task increases our understanding of the skills of the models, as well as of the challenges educators face when it comes to teaching this crucial skill. While there is a multitude of individual examples and anecdotal evidence for the quality of AI-generated content in this genre (e.g. 4 ) this paper is the first to systematically assess the quality of human-written and AI-generated argumentative texts across different versions of ChatGPT 5 . We use a fine-grained essay quality scoring rubric based on content and language mastery and employ a significant pool of domain experts, i.e. high school teachers across disciplines, to perform the evaluation. Using computational linguistic methods and rigorous statistical analysis, we arrive at several key findings:

AI models generate significantly higher-quality argumentative essays than the users of an essay-writing online forum frequented by German high-school students across all criteria in our scoring rubric.

ChatGPT-4 (ChatGPT web interface with the GPT-4 model) significantly outperforms ChatGPT-3 (ChatGPT web interface with the GPT-3.5 default model) with respect to logical structure, language complexity, vocabulary richness and text linking.

Writing styles between humans and generative AI models differ significantly: for instance, the GPT models use more nominalizations and have higher sentence complexity (signaling more complex, ‘scientific’, language), whereas the students make more use of modal and epistemic constructions (which tend to convey speaker attitude).

The linguistic diversity of the NLG models seems to be improving over time: while ChatGPT-3 still has a significantly lower linguistic diversity than humans, ChatGPT-4 has a significantly higher diversity than the students.

Our work goes significantly beyond existing benchmarks. While OpenAI’s technical report on GPT-4 6 presents some benchmarks, their evaluation lacks scientific rigor: it fails to provide vital information like the agreement between raters, does not report on details regarding the criteria for assessment or to what extent and how a statistical analysis was conducted for a larger sample of essays. In contrast, our benchmark provides the first (statistically) rigorous and systematic study of essay quality, paired with a computational linguistic analysis of the language employed by humans and two different versions of ChatGPT, offering a glance at how these NLG models develop over time. While our work is focused on argumentative essays in education, the genre is also relevant beyond education. In general, studying argumentative essays is one important aspect to understand how good generative AI models are at conveying arguments and, consequently, persuasive writing in general.

Related work

Natural language generation.

The recent interest in generative AI models can be largely attributed to the public release of ChatGPT, a public interface in the form of an interactive chat based on the InstructGPT 1 model, more commonly referred to as GPT-3.5. In comparison to the original GPT-3 7 and other similar generative large language models based on the transformer architecture like GPT-J 8 , this model was not trained in a purely self-supervised manner (e.g. through masked language modeling). Instead, a pipeline that involved human-written content was used to fine-tune the model and improve the quality of the outputs to both mitigate biases and safety issues, as well as make the generated text more similar to text written by humans. Such models are referred to as Fine-tuned LAnguage Nets (FLANs). For details on their training, we refer to the literature 9 . Notably, this process was recently reproduced with publicly available models such as Alpaca 10 and Dolly (i.e. the complete models can be downloaded and not just accessed through an API). However, we can only assume that a similar process was used for the training of GPT-4 since the paper by OpenAI does not include any details on model training.

Testing of the language competency of large-scale NLG systems has only recently started. Cai et al. 11 show that ChatGPT reuses sentence structure, accesses the intended meaning of an ambiguous word, and identifies the thematic structure of a verb and its arguments, replicating human language use. Mahowald 12 compares ChatGPT’s acceptability judgments to human judgments on the Article + Adjective + Numeral + Noun construction in English. Dentella et al. 13 show that ChatGPT-3 fails to understand low-frequent grammatical constructions like complex nested hierarchies and self-embeddings. In another recent line of research, the structure of automatically generated language is evaluated. Guo et al. 14 show that in question-answer scenarios, ChatGPT-3 uses different linguistic devices than humans. Zhao et al. 15 show that ChatGPT generates longer and more diverse responses when the user is in an apparently negative emotional state.

Given that we aim to identify certain linguistic characteristics of human-written versus AI-generated content, we also draw on related work in the field of linguistic fingerprinting, which assumes that each human has a unique way of using language to express themselves, i.e. the linguistic means that are employed to communicate thoughts, opinions and ideas differ between humans. That these properties can be identified with computational linguistic means has been showcased across different tasks: the computation of a linguistic fingerprint allows to distinguish authors of literary works 16 , the identification of speaker profiles in large public debates 17 , 18 , 19 , 20 and the provision of data for forensic voice comparison in broadcast debates 21 , 22 . For educational purposes, linguistic features are used to measure essay readability 23 , essay cohesion 24 and language performance scores for essay grading 25 . Integrating linguistic fingerprints also yields performance advantages for classification tasks, for instance in predicting user opinion 26 , 27 and identifying individual users 28 .

Limitations of OpenAIs ChatGPT evaluations

OpenAI published a discussion of the model’s performance of several tasks, including Advanced Placement (AP) classes within the US educational system 6 . The subjects used in performance evaluation are diverse and include arts, history, English literature, calculus, statistics, physics, chemistry, economics, and US politics. While the models achieved good or very good marks in most subjects, they did not perform well in English literature. GPT-3.5 also experienced problems with chemistry, macroeconomics, physics, and statistics. While the overall results are impressive, there are several significant issues: firstly, the conflict of interest of the model’s owners poses a problem for the performance interpretation. Secondly, there are issues with the soundness of the assessment beyond the conflict of interest, which make the generalizability of the results hard to assess with respect to the models’ capability to write essays. Notably, the AP exams combine multiple-choice questions with free-text answers. Only the aggregated scores are publicly available. To the best of our knowledge, neither the generated free-text answers, their overall assessment, nor their assessment given specific criteria from the used judgment rubric are published. Thirdly, while the paper states that 1–2 qualified third-party contractors participated in the rating of the free-text answers, it is unclear how often multiple ratings were generated for the same answer and what was the agreement between them. This lack of information hinders a scientifically sound judgement regarding the capabilities of these models in general, but also specifically for essays. Lastly, the owners of the model conducted their study in a few-shot prompt setting, where they gave the models a very structured template as well as an example of a human-written high-quality essay to guide the generation of the answers. This further fine-tuning of what the models generate could have also influenced the output. The results published by the owners go beyond the AP courses which are directly comparable to our work and also consider other student assessments like Graduate Record Examinations (GREs). However, these evaluations suffer from the same problems with the scientific rigor as the AP classes.

Scientific assessment of ChatGPT

Researchers across the globe are currently assessing the individual capabilities of these models with greater scientific rigor. We note that due to the recency and speed of these developments, the hereafter discussed literature has mostly only been published as pre-prints and has not yet been peer-reviewed. In addition to the above issues concretely related to the assessment of the capabilities to generate student essays, it is also worth noting that there are likely large problems with the trustworthiness of evaluations, because of data contamination, i.e. because the benchmark tasks are part of the training of the model, which enables memorization. For example, Aiyappa et al. 29 find evidence that this is likely the case for benchmark results regarding NLP tasks. This complicates the effort by researchers to assess the capabilities of the models beyond memorization.

Nevertheless, the first assessment results are already available – though mostly focused on ChatGPT-3 and not yet ChatGPT-4. Closest to our work is a study by Yeadon et al. 30 , who also investigate ChatGPT-3 performance when writing essays. They grade essays generated by ChatGPT-3 for five physics questions based on criteria that cover academic content, appreciation of the underlying physics, grasp of subject material, addressing the topic, and writing style. For each question, ten essays were generated and rated independently by five researchers. While the sample size precludes a statistical assessment, the results demonstrate that the AI model is capable of writing high-quality physics essays, but that the quality varies in a manner similar to human-written essays.

Guo et al. 14 create a set of free-text question answering tasks based on data they collected from the internet, e.g. question answering from Reddit. The authors then sample thirty triplets of a question, a human answer, and a ChatGPT-3 generated answer and ask human raters to assess if they can detect which was written by a human, and which was written by an AI. While this approach does not directly assess the quality of the output, it serves as a Turing test 31 designed to evaluate whether humans can distinguish between human- and AI-produced output. The results indicate that humans are in fact able to distinguish between the outputs when presented with a pair of answers. Humans familiar with ChatGPT are also able to identify over 80% of AI-generated answers without seeing a human answer in comparison. However, humans who are not yet familiar with ChatGPT-3 are not capable of identifying AI-written answers about 50% of the time. Moreover, the authors also find that the AI-generated outputs are deemed to be more helpful than the human answers in slightly more than half of the cases. This suggests that the strong results from OpenAI’s own benchmarks regarding the capabilities to generate free-text answers generalize beyond the benchmarks.

There are, however, some indicators that the benchmarks may be overly optimistic in their assessment of the model’s capabilities. For example, Kortemeyer 32 conducts a case study to assess how well ChatGPT-3 would perform in a physics class, simulating the tasks that students need to complete as part of the course: answer multiple-choice questions, do homework assignments, ask questions during a lesson, complete programming exercises, and write exams with free-text questions. Notably, ChatGPT-3 was allowed to interact with the instructor for many of the tasks, allowing for multiple attempts as well as feedback on preliminary solutions. The experiment shows that ChatGPT-3’s performance is in many aspects similar to that of the beginning learners and that the model makes similar mistakes, such as omitting units or simply plugging in results from equations. Overall, the AI would have passed the course with a low score of 1.5 out of 4.0. Similarly, Kung et al. 33 study the performance of ChatGPT-3 in the United States Medical Licensing Exam (USMLE) and find that the model performs at or near the passing threshold. Their assessment is a bit more optimistic than Kortemeyer’s as they state that this level of performance, comprehensible reasoning and valid clinical insights suggest that models such as ChatGPT may potentially assist human learning in clinical decision making.

Frieder et al. 34 evaluate the capabilities of ChatGPT-3 in solving graduate-level mathematical tasks. They find that while ChatGPT-3 seems to have some mathematical understanding, its level is well below that of an average student and in most cases is not sufficient to pass exams. Yuan et al. 35 consider the arithmetic abilities of language models, including ChatGPT-3 and ChatGPT-4. They find that they exhibit the best performance among other currently available language models (incl. Llama 36 , FLAN-T5 37 , and Bloom 38 ). However, the accuracy of basic arithmetic tasks is still only at 83% when considering correctness to the degree of \(10^{-3}\) , i.e. such models are still not capable of functioning reliably as calculators. In a slightly satiric, yet insightful take, Spencer et al. 39 assess how a scientific paper on gamma-ray astrophysics would look like, if it were written largely with the assistance of ChatGPT-3. They find that while the language capabilities are good and the model is capable of generating equations, the arguments are often flawed and the references to scientific literature are full of hallucinations.

The general reasoning skills of the models may also not be at the level expected from the benchmarks. For example, Cherian et al. 40 evaluate how well ChatGPT-3 performs on eleven puzzles that second graders should be able to solve and find that ChatGPT is only able to solve them on average in 36.4% of attempts, whereas the second graders achieve a mean of 60.4%. However, their sample size is very small and the problem was posed as a multiple-choice question answering problem, which cannot be directly compared to the NLG we consider.

Research gap

Within this article, we address an important part of the current research gap regarding the capabilities of ChatGPT (and similar technologies), guided by the following research questions:

RQ1: How good is ChatGPT based on GPT-3 and GPT-4 at writing argumentative student essays?

RQ2: How do AI-generated essays compare to essays written by students?

RQ3: What are linguistic devices that are characteristic of student versus AI-generated content?

We study these aspects with the help of a large group of teaching professionals who systematically assess a large corpus of student essays. To the best of our knowledge, this is the first large-scale, independent scientific assessment of ChatGPT (or similar models) of this kind. Answering these questions is crucial to understanding the impact of ChatGPT on the future of education.

Materials and methods

The essay topics originate from a corpus of argumentative essays in the field of argument mining 41 . Argumentative essays require students to think critically about a topic and use evidence to establish a position on the topic in a concise manner. The corpus features essays for 90 topics from Essay Forum 42 , an active community for providing writing feedback on different kinds of text and is frequented by high-school students to get feedback from native speakers on their essay-writing capabilities. Information about the age of the writers is not available, but the topics indicate that the essays were written in grades 11–13, indicating that the authors were likely at least 16. Topics range from ‘Should students be taught to cooperate or to compete?’ to ‘Will newspapers become a thing of the past?’. In the corpus, each topic features one human-written essay uploaded and discussed in the forum. The students who wrote the essays are not native speakers. The average length of these essays is 19 sentences with 388 tokens (an average of 2.089 characters) and will be termed ‘student essays’ in the remainder of the paper.

For the present study, we use the topics from Stab and Gurevych 41 and prompt ChatGPT with ‘Write an essay with about 200 words on “[ topic ]”’ to receive automatically-generated essays from the ChatGPT-3 and ChatGPT-4 versions from 22 March 2023 (‘ChatGPT-3 essays’, ‘ChatGPT-4 essays’). No additional prompts for getting the responses were used, i.e. the data was created with a basic prompt in a zero-shot scenario. This is in contrast to the benchmarks by OpenAI, who used an engineered prompt in a few-shot scenario to guide the generation of essays. We note that we decided to ask for 200 words because we noticed a tendency to generate essays that are longer than the desired length by ChatGPT. A prompt asking for 300 words typically yielded essays with more than 400 words. Thus, using the shorter length of 200, we prevent a potential advantage for ChatGPT through longer essays, and instead err on the side of brevity. Similar to the evaluations of free-text answers by OpenAI, we did not consider multiple configurations of the model due to the effort required to obtain human judgments. For the same reason, our data is restricted to ChatGPT and does not include other models available at that time, e.g. Alpaca. We use the browser versions of the tools because we consider this to be a more realistic scenario than using the API. Table 1 below shows the core statistics of the resulting dataset. Supplemental material S1 shows examples for essays from the data set.

Annotation study

Study participants.

The participants had registered for a two-hour online training entitled ‘ChatGPT – Challenges and Opportunities’ conducted by the authors of this paper as a means to provide teachers with some of the technological background of NLG systems in general and ChatGPT in particular. Only teachers permanently employed at secondary schools were allowed to register for this training. Focusing on these experts alone allows us to receive meaningful results as those participants have a wide range of experience in assessing students’ writing. A total of 139 teachers registered for the training, 129 of them teach at grammar schools, and only 10 teachers hold a position at other secondary schools. About half of the registered teachers (68 teachers) have been in service for many years and have successfully applied for promotion. For data protection reasons, we do not know the subject combinations of the registered teachers. We only know that a variety of subjects are represented, including languages (English, French and German), religion/ethics, and science. Supplemental material S5 provides some general information regarding German teacher qualifications.

The training began with an online lecture followed by a discussion phase. Teachers were given an overview of language models and basic information on how ChatGPT was developed. After about 45 minutes, the teachers received a both written and oral explanation of the questionnaire at the core of our study (see Supplementary material S3 ) and were informed that they had 30 minutes to finish the study tasks. The explanation included information on how the data was obtained, why we collect the self-assessment, and how we chose the criteria for the rating of the essays, the overall goal of our research, and a walk-through of the questionnaire. Participation in the questionnaire was voluntary and did not affect the awarding of a training certificate. We further informed participants that all data was collected anonymously and that we would have no way of identifying who participated in the questionnaire. We orally informed participants that they consent to the use of the provided ratings for our research by participating in the survey.

Once these instructions were provided orally and in writing, the link to the online form was given to the participants. The online form was running on a local server that did not log any information that could identify the participants (e.g. IP address) to ensure anonymity. As per instructions, consent for participation was given by using the online form. Due to the full anonymity, we could by definition not document who exactly provided the consent. This was implemented as further insurance that non-participation could not possibly affect being awarded the training certificate.

About 20% of the training participants did not take part in the questionnaire study, the remaining participants consented based on the information provided and participated in the rating of essays. After the questionnaire, we continued with an online lecture on the opportunities of using ChatGPT for teaching as well as AI beyond chatbots. The study protocol was reviewed and approved by the Research Ethics Committee of the University of Passau. We further confirm that our study protocol is in accordance with all relevant guidelines.

Questionnaire

The questionnaire consists of three parts: first, a brief self-assessment regarding the English skills of the participants which is based on the Common European Framework of Reference for Languages (CEFR) 43 . We have six levels ranging from ‘comparable to a native speaker’ to ‘some basic skills’ (see supplementary material S3 ). Then each participant was shown six essays. The participants were only shown the generated text and were not provided with information on whether the text was human-written or AI-generated.

The questionnaire covers the seven categories relevant for essay assessment shown below (for details see supplementary material S3 ):

Topic and completeness

Logic and composition

Expressiveness and comprehensiveness

Language mastery

Vocabulary and text linking

Language constructs

These categories are used as guidelines for essay assessment 44 established by the Ministry for Education of Lower Saxony, Germany. For each criterion, a seven-point Likert scale with scores from zero to six is defined, where zero is the worst score (e.g. no relation to the topic) and six is the best score (e.g. addressed the topic to a special degree). The questionnaire included a written description as guidance for the scoring.

After rating each essay, the participants were also asked to self-assess their confidence in the ratings. We used a five-point Likert scale based on the criteria for the self-assessment of peer-review scores from the Association for Computational Linguistics (ACL). Once a participant finished rating the six essays, they were shown a summary of their ratings, as well as the individual ratings for each of their essays and the information on how the essay was generated.

Computational linguistic analysis

In order to further explore and compare the quality of the essays written by students and ChatGPT, we consider the six following linguistic characteristics: lexical diversity, sentence complexity, nominalization, presence of modals, epistemic and discourse markers. Those are motivated by previous work: Weiss et al. 25 observe the correlation between measures of lexical, syntactic and discourse complexities to the essay gradings of German high-school examinations while McNamara et al. 45 explore cohesion (indicated, among other things, by connectives), syntactic complexity and lexical diversity in relation to the essay scoring.

Lexical diversity

We identify vocabulary richness by using a well-established measure of textual, lexical diversity (MTLD) 46 which is often used in the field of automated essay grading 25 , 45 , 47 . It takes into account the number of unique words but unlike the best-known measure of lexical diversity, the type-token ratio (TTR), it is not as sensitive to the difference in the length of the texts. In fact, Koizumi and In’nami 48 find it to be least affected by the differences in the length of the texts compared to some other measures of lexical diversity. This is relevant to us due to the difference in average length between the human-written and ChatGPT-generated essays.

Syntactic complexity

We use two measures in order to evaluate the syntactic complexity of the essays. One is based on the maximum depth of the sentence dependency tree which is produced using the spaCy 3.4.2 dependency parser 49 (‘Syntactic complexity (depth)’). For the second measure, we adopt an approach similar in nature to the one by Weiss et al. 25 who use clause structure to evaluate syntactic complexity. In our case, we count the number of conjuncts, clausal modifiers of nouns, adverbial clause modifiers, clausal complements, clausal subjects, and parataxes (‘Syntactic complexity (clauses)’). The supplementary material in S2 shows the difference between sentence complexity based on two examples from the data.

Nominalization is a common feature of a more scientific style of writing 50 and is used as an additional measure for syntactic complexity. In order to explore this feature, we count occurrences of nouns with suffixes such as ‘-ion’, ‘-ment’, ‘-ance’ and a few others which are known to transform verbs into nouns.

Semantic properties

Both modals and epistemic markers signal the commitment of the writer to their statement. We identify modals using the POS-tagging module provided by spaCy as well as a list of epistemic expressions of modality, such as ‘definitely’ and ‘potentially’, also used in other approaches to identifying semantic properties 51 . For epistemic markers we adopt an empirically-driven approach and utilize the epistemic markers identified in a corpus of dialogical argumentation by Hautli-Janisz et al. 52 . We consider expressions such as ‘I think’, ‘it is believed’ and ‘in my opinion’ to be epistemic.

Discourse properties

Discourse markers can be used to measure the coherence quality of a text. This has been explored by Somasundaran et al. 53 who use discourse markers to evaluate the story-telling aspect of student writing while Nadeem et al. 54 incorporated them in their deep learning-based approach to automated essay scoring. In the present paper, we employ the PDTB list of discourse markers 55 which we adjust to exclude words that are often used for purposes other than indicating discourse relations, such as ‘like’, ‘for’, ‘in’ etc.

Statistical methods

We use a within-subjects design for our study. Each participant was shown six randomly selected essays. Results were submitted to the survey system after each essay was completed, in case participants ran out of time and did not finish scoring all six essays. Cronbach’s \(\alpha\) 56 allows us to determine the inter-rater reliability for the rating criterion and data source (human, ChatGPT-3, ChatGPT-4) in order to understand the reliability of our data not only overall, but also for each data source and rating criterion. We use two-sided Wilcoxon-rank-sum tests 57 to confirm the significance of the differences between the data sources for each criterion. We use the same tests to determine the significance of the linguistic characteristics. This results in three comparisons (human vs. ChatGPT-3, human vs. ChatGPT-4, ChatGPT-3 vs. ChatGPT-4) for each of the seven rating criteria and each of the seven linguistic characteristics, i.e. 42 tests. We use the Holm-Bonferroni method 58 for the correction for multiple tests to achieve a family-wise error rate of 0.05. We report the effect size using Cohen’s d 59 . While our data is not perfectly normal, it also does not have severe outliers, so we prefer the clear interpretation of Cohen’s d over the slightly more appropriate, but less accessible non-parametric effect size measures. We report point plots with estimates of the mean scores for each data source and criterion, incl. the 95% confidence interval of these mean values. The confidence intervals are estimated in a non-parametric manner based on bootstrap sampling. We further visualize the distribution for each criterion using violin plots to provide a visual indicator of the spread of the data (see Supplementary material S4 ).

Further, we use the self-assessment of the English skills and confidence in the essay ratings as confounding variables. Through this, we determine if ratings are affected by the language skills or confidence, instead of the actual quality of the essays. We control for the impact of these by measuring Pearson’s correlation coefficient r 60 between the self-assessments and the ratings. We also determine whether the linguistic features are correlated with the ratings as expected. The sentence complexity (both tree depth and dependency clauses), as well as the nominalization, are indicators of the complexity of the language. Similarly, the use of discourse markers should signal a proper logical structure. Finally, a large lexical diversity should be correlated with the ratings for the vocabulary. Same as above, we measure Pearson’s r . We use a two-sided test for the significance based on a \(\beta\) -distribution that models the expected correlations as implemented by scipy 61 . Same as above, we use the Holm-Bonferroni method to account for multiple tests. However, we note that it is likely that all—even tiny—correlations are significant given our amount of data. Consequently, our interpretation of these results focuses on the strength of the correlations.

Our statistical analysis of the data is implemented in Python. We use pandas 1.5.3 and numpy 1.24.2 for the processing of data, pingouin 0.5.3 for the calculation of Cronbach’s \(\alpha\) , scipy 1.10.1 for the Wilcoxon-rank-sum tests Pearson’s r , and seaborn 0.12.2 for the generation of plots, incl. the calculation of error bars that visualize the confidence intervals.

Out of the 111 teachers who completed the questionnaire, 108 rated all six essays, one rated five essays, one rated two essays, and one rated only one essay. This results in 658 ratings for 270 essays (90 topics for each essay type: human-, ChatGPT-3-, ChatGPT-4-generated), with three ratings for 121 essays, two ratings for 144 essays, and one rating for five essays. The inter-rater agreement is consistently excellent ( \(\alpha >0.9\) ), with the exception of language mastery where we have good agreement ( \(\alpha =0.89\) , see Table  2 ). Further, the correlation analysis depicted in supplementary material S4 shows weak positive correlations ( \(r \in 0.11, 0.28]\) ) between the self-assessment for the English skills, respectively the self-assessment for the confidence in ratings and the actual ratings. Overall, this indicates that our ratings are reliable estimates of the actual quality of the essays with a potential small tendency that confidence in ratings and language skills yields better ratings, independent of the data source.

Table  2 and supplementary material S4 characterize the distribution of the ratings for the essays, grouped by the data source. We observe that for all criteria, we have a clear order of the mean values, with students having the worst ratings, ChatGPT-3 in the middle rank, and ChatGPT-4 with the best performance. We further observe that the standard deviations are fairly consistent and slightly larger than one, i.e. the spread is similar for all ratings and essays. This is further supported by the visual analysis of the violin plots.

The statistical analysis of the ratings reported in Table  4 shows that differences between the human-written essays and the ones generated by both ChatGPT models are significant. The effect sizes for human versus ChatGPT-3 essays are between 0.52 and 1.15, i.e. a medium ( \(d \in [0.5,0.8)\) ) to large ( \(d \in [0.8, 1.2)\) ) effect. On the one hand, the smallest effects are observed for the expressiveness and complexity, i.e. when it comes to the overall comprehensiveness and complexity of the sentence structures, the differences between the humans and the ChatGPT-3 model are smallest. On the other hand, the difference in language mastery is larger than all other differences, which indicates that humans are more prone to making mistakes when writing than the NLG models. The magnitude of differences between humans and ChatGPT-4 is larger with effect sizes between 0.88 and 1.43, i.e., a large to very large ( \(d \in [1.2, 2)\) ) effect. Same as for ChatGPT-3, the differences are smallest for expressiveness and complexity and largest for language mastery. Please note that the difference in language mastery between humans and both GPT models does not mean that the humans have low scores for language mastery (M=3.90), but rather that the NLG models have exceptionally high scores (M=5.03 for ChatGPT-3, M=5.25 for ChatGPT-4).

When we consider the differences between the two GPT models, we observe that while ChatGPT-4 has consistently higher mean values for all criteria, only the differences for logic and composition, vocabulary and text linking, and complexity are significant. The effect sizes are between 0.45 and 0.5, i.e. small ( \(d \in [0.2, 0.5)\) ) and medium. Thus, while GPT-4 seems to be an improvement over GPT-3.5 in general, the only clear indicator of this is a better and clearer logical composition and more complex writing with a more diverse vocabulary.

We also observe significant differences in the distribution of linguistic characteristics between all three groups (see Table  3 ). Sentence complexity (depth) is the only category without a significant difference between humans and ChatGPT-3, as well as ChatGPT-3 and ChatGPT-4. There is also no significant difference in the category of discourse markers between humans and ChatGPT-3. The magnitude of the effects varies a lot and is between 0.39 and 1.93, i.e., between small ( \(d \in [0.2, 0.5)\) ) and very large. However, in comparison to the ratings, there is no clear tendency regarding the direction of the differences. For instance, while the ChatGPT models write more complex sentences and use more nominalizations, humans tend to use more modals and epistemic markers instead. The lexical diversity of humans is higher than that of ChatGPT-3 but lower than that of ChatGPT-4. While there is no difference in the use of discourse markers between humans and ChatGPT-3, ChatGPT-4 uses significantly fewer discourse markers.

We detect the expected positive correlations between the complexity ratings and the linguistic markers for sentence complexity ( \(r=0.16\) for depth, \(r=0.19\) for clauses) and nominalizations ( \(r=0.22\) ). However, we observe a negative correlation between the logic ratings and the discourse markers ( \(r=-0.14\) ), which counters our intuition that more frequent use of discourse indicators makes a text more logically coherent. However, this is in line with previous work: McNamara et al. 45 also find no indication that the use of cohesion indices such as discourse connectives correlates with high- and low-proficiency essays. Finally, we observe the expected positive correlation between the ratings for the vocabulary and the lexical diversity ( \(r=0.12\) ). All observed correlations are significant. However, we note that the strength of all these correlations is weak and that the significance itself should not be over-interpreted due to the large sample size.

Our results provide clear answers to the first two research questions that consider the quality of the generated essays: ChatGPT performs well at writing argumentative student essays and outperforms the quality of the human-written essays significantly. The ChatGPT-4 model has (at least) a large effect and is on average about one point better than humans on a seven-point Likert scale.

Regarding the third research question, we find that there are significant linguistic differences between humans and AI-generated content. The AI-generated essays are highly structured, which for instance is reflected by the identical beginnings of the concluding sections of all ChatGPT essays (‘In conclusion, [...]’). The initial sentences of each essay are also very similar starting with a general statement using the main concepts of the essay topics. Although this corresponds to the general structure that is sought after for argumentative essays, it is striking to see that the ChatGPT models are so rigid in realizing this, whereas the human-written essays are looser in representing the guideline on the linguistic surface. Moreover, the linguistic fingerprint has the counter-intuitive property that the use of discourse markers is negatively correlated with logical coherence. We believe that this might be due to the rigid structure of the generated essays: instead of using discourse markers, the AI models provide a clear logical structure by separating the different arguments into paragraphs, thereby reducing the need for discourse markers.

Our data also shows that hallucinations are not a problem in the setting of argumentative essay writing: the essay topics are not really about factual correctness, but rather about argumentation and critical reflection on general concepts which seem to be contained within the knowledge of the AI model. The stochastic nature of the language generation is well-suited for this kind of task, as different plausible arguments can be seen as a sampling from all available arguments for a topic. Nevertheless, we need to perform a more systematic study of the argumentative structures in order to better understand the difference in argumentation between human-written and ChatGPT-generated essay content. Moreover, we also cannot rule out that subtle hallucinations may have been overlooked during the ratings. There are also essays with a low rating for the criteria related to factual correctness, indicating that there might be cases where the AI models still have problems, even if they are, on average, better than the students.

One of the issues with evaluations of the recent large-language models is not accounting for the impact of tainted data when benchmarking such models. While it is certainly possible that the essays that were sourced by Stab and Gurevych 41 from the internet were part of the training data of the GPT models, the proprietary nature of the model training means that we cannot confirm this. However, we note that the generated essays did not resemble the corpus of human essays at all. Moreover, the topics of the essays are general in the sense that any human should be able to reason and write about these topics, just by understanding concepts like ‘cooperation’. Consequently, a taint on these general topics, i.e. the fact that they might be present in the data, is not only possible but is actually expected and unproblematic, as it relates to the capability of the models to learn about concepts, rather than the memorization of specific task solutions.

While we did everything to ensure a sound construct and a high validity of our study, there are still certain issues that may affect our conclusions. Most importantly, neither the writers of the essays, nor their raters, were English native speakers. However, the students purposefully used a forum for English writing frequented by native speakers to ensure the language and content quality of their essays. This indicates that the resulting essays are likely above average for non-native speakers, as they went through at least one round of revisions with the help of native speakers. The teachers were informed that part of the training would be in English to prevent registrations from people without English language skills. Moreover, the self-assessment of the language skills was only weakly correlated with the ratings, indicating that the threat to the soundness of our results is low. While we cannot definitively rule out that our results would not be reproducible with other human raters, the high inter-rater agreement indicates that this is unlikely.

However, our reliance on essays written by non-native speakers affects the external validity and the generalizability of our results. It is certainly possible that native speaking students would perform better in the criteria related to language skills, though it is unclear by how much. However, the language skills were particular strengths of the AI models, meaning that while the difference might be smaller, it is still reasonable to conclude that the AI models would have at least comparable performance to humans, but possibly still better performance, just with a smaller gap. While we cannot rule out a difference for the content-related criteria, we also see no strong argument why native speakers should have better arguments than non-native speakers. Thus, while our results might not fully translate to native speakers, we see no reason why aspects regarding the content should not be similar. Further, our results were obtained based on high-school-level essays. Native and non-native speakers with higher education degrees or experts in fields would likely also achieve a better performance, such that the difference in performance between the AI models and humans would likely also be smaller in such a setting.

We further note that the essay topics may not be an unbiased sample. While Stab and Gurevych 41 randomly sampled the essays from the writing feedback section of an essay forum, it is unclear whether the essays posted there are representative of the general population of essay topics. Nevertheless, we believe that the threat is fairly low because our results are consistent and do not seem to be influenced by certain topics. Further, we cannot with certainty conclude how our results generalize beyond ChatGPT-3 and ChatGPT-4 to similar models like Bard ( https://bard.google.com/?hl=en ) Alpaca, and Dolly. Especially the results for linguistic characteristics are hard to predict. However, since—to the best of our knowledge and given the proprietary nature of some of these models—the general approach to how these models work is similar and the trends for essay quality should hold for models with comparable size and training procedures.

Finally, we want to note that the current speed of progress with generative AI is extremely fast and we are studying moving targets: ChatGPT 3.5 and 4 today are already not the same as the models we studied. Due to a lack of transparency regarding the specific incremental changes, we cannot know or predict how this might affect our results.

Our results provide a strong indication that the fear many teaching professionals have is warranted: the way students do homework and teachers assess it needs to change in a world of generative AI models. For non-native speakers, our results show that when students want to maximize their essay grades, they could easily do so by relying on results from AI models like ChatGPT. The very strong performance of the AI models indicates that this might also be the case for native speakers, though the difference in language skills is probably smaller. However, this is not and cannot be the goal of education. Consequently, educators need to change how they approach homework. Instead of just assigning and grading essays, we need to reflect more on the output of AI tools regarding their reasoning and correctness. AI models need to be seen as an integral part of education, but one which requires careful reflection and training of critical thinking skills.

Furthermore, teachers need to adapt strategies for teaching writing skills: as with the use of calculators, it is necessary to critically reflect with the students on when and how to use those tools. For instance, constructivists 62 argue that learning is enhanced by the active design and creation of unique artifacts by students themselves. In the present case this means that, in the long term, educational objectives may need to be adjusted. This is analogous to teaching good arithmetic skills to younger students and then allowing and encouraging students to use calculators freely in later stages of education. Similarly, once a sound level of literacy has been achieved, strongly integrating AI models in lesson plans may no longer run counter to reasonable learning goals.

In terms of shedding light on the quality and structure of AI-generated essays, this paper makes an important contribution by offering an independent, large-scale and statistically sound account of essay quality, comparing human-written and AI-generated texts. By comparing different versions of ChatGPT, we also offer a glance into the development of these models over time in terms of their linguistic properties and the quality they exhibit. Our results show that while the language generated by ChatGPT is considered very good by humans, there are also notable structural differences, e.g. in the use of discourse markers. This demonstrates that an in-depth consideration not only of the capabilities of generative AI models is required (i.e. which tasks can they be used for), but also of the language they generate. For example, if we read many AI-generated texts that use fewer discourse markers, it raises the question if and how this would affect our human use of discourse markers. Understanding how AI-generated texts differ from human-written enables us to look for these differences, to reason about their potential impact, and to study and possibly mitigate this impact.

Data availability

The datasets generated during and/or analysed during the current study are available in the Zenodo repository, https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.8343644

Code availability

All materials are available online in form of a replication package that contains the data and the analysis code, https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.8343644 .

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Steffen Herbold, Annette Hautli-Janisz, Ute Heuer, Zlata Kikteva & Alexander Trautsch

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Contributions

S.H., A.HJ., and U.H. conceived the experiment; S.H., A.HJ, and Z.K. collected the essays from ChatGPT; U.H. recruited the study participants; S.H., A.HJ., U.H. and A.T. conducted the training session and questionnaire; all authors contributed to the analysis of the results, the writing of the manuscript, and review of the manuscript.

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Herbold, S., Hautli-Janisz, A., Heuer, U. et al. A large-scale comparison of human-written versus ChatGPT-generated essays. Sci Rep 13 , 18617 (2023). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-023-45644-9

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Home — Essay Samples — Philosophy — Human Nature — What Does It Mean to Be Human

What Does It Mean to Be Human

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The power of consciousness and thought, connections and relationships, self-awareness and identity, the pursuit of meaning and legacy, conclusion: embracing the human experience.

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Human Development - Free Essay Examples And Topic Ideas

Human development encompasses the process of growth and maturation from infancy through adulthood. Essays might discuss theories of human development, stages of development, and the factors influencing physical, cognitive, and emotional development. Furthermore, discussions could extend to the societal and environmental factors contributing to human development, and the impact of policy on human development outcomes. We’ve gathered an extensive assortment of free essay samples on the topic of Human Development you can find at PapersOwl Website. You can use our samples for inspiration to write your own essay, research paper, or just to explore a new topic for yourself.

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Human Development in Different Perspectives Across the Life Span: Differences and Similarities between Childhood Versus Adulthood

Throughout this paper, we have explored approaches to human development from different perspectives across the life span, such as in adolescence, childhood, adulthood, and so on. This subject is primarily investigated in terms of mental functioning and social relationships by developmental psychology in this chapter. To understand better, we have studied the stages in human life as prenatal, infancy, early childhood, middle childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, middle adulthood, and late adulthood. Given that developmental research includes various methods, ethics hold […]

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Youth in child care and grown-ups who some time ago were put into consideration have lopsidedly high rates of enthusiastic and conduct issue. Among the zones of concern has been the absence of exhaustive psychological wellness screening of all youngsters entering out-of-home consideration, the requirement for more careful distinguishing proof of youth with passionate and conduct issue, and deficient youth access to high caliber emotional well-being administrations. In view of the magnificent quality and extensiveness of these announcements, the Casey […]

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Abstract Sadness, fearfulness, loneliness, and depression are some result of some sort of abuse that a child experience. Physical abuse happens when people hurt a child and causing broken bones, burns, bruises, or cuts. Childhood abuse in the home is a central social problem. This is significant to me because people never knows what really happens to children behind closed doors. Childhood abuse can have long-term effects that continue in adulthood. The overall purpose of this study is to see […]

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The foster care agency takes in about 250,000 kids every year. Having that many children entering the system increases the issues of finding the proper caregiver for a child. Just as these problems are created, many effects can develop for the child that can last short-term and possibly long-term. Luckily, there are many ways to help these obstacles. Foster care agencies may construct unfavorable situations due to the choice of caregivers and the overabundance of problems that are created in […]

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Adoption is a person can legally take care of the child and raise it like it their own. Adoption wasn't as common as it is today. In prehistoric times, adoption was to help the adults more than the kids. In 1851 the first adoption law was passed in Massachusetts. In the mid- 1900s mostly all states passed the laws. The law was parents had to go through a process before their ability to adopt a kid. In this article it […]

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The Query of What it Means to be Human The query of what it means to be human has the philosophy of a group of hostel rooms. This question aims to cast a wider net and make the college problem seem more significant. The topic compels us to consider an individual's...

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• How to write an essay outline | Guidelines & examples

How to Write an Essay Outline | Guidelines & Examples

Published on August 14, 2020 by Jack Caulfield . Revised on July 23, 2023.

An essay outline is a way of planning the structure of your essay before you start writing. It involves writing quick summary sentences or phrases for every point you will cover in each paragraph , giving you a picture of how your argument will unfold.

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Organizing your material, presentation of the outline, examples of essay outlines, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about essay outlines.

At the stage where you’re writing an essay outline, your ideas are probably still not fully formed. You should know your topic  and have already done some preliminary research to find relevant sources , but now you need to shape your ideas into a structured argument.

Creating categories

Look over any information, quotes and ideas you’ve noted down from your research and consider the central point you want to make in the essay—this will be the basis of your thesis statement . Once you have an idea of your overall argument, you can begin to organize your material in a way that serves that argument.

Try to arrange your material into categories related to different aspects of your argument. If you’re writing about a literary text, you might group your ideas into themes; in a history essay, it might be several key trends or turning points from the period you’re discussing.

Three main themes or subjects is a common structure for essays. Depending on the length of the essay, you could split the themes into three body paragraphs, or three longer sections with several paragraphs covering each theme.

As you create the outline, look critically at your categories and points: Are any of them irrelevant or redundant? Make sure every topic you cover is clearly related to your thesis statement.

Order of information

When you have your material organized into several categories, consider what order they should appear in.

Your essay will always begin and end with an introduction and conclusion , but the organization of the body is up to you.

Consider these questions to order your material:

• Is there an obvious starting point for your argument?
• Is there one subject that provides an easy transition into another?
• Do some points need to be set up by discussing other points first?

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Within each paragraph, you’ll discuss a single idea related to your overall topic or argument, using several points of evidence or analysis to do so.

In your outline, you present these points as a few short numbered sentences or phrases.They can be split into sub-points when more detail is needed.

The template below shows how you might structure an outline for a five-paragraph essay.

• Thesis statement
• First piece of evidence
• Second piece of evidence
• Summary/synthesis
• Importance of topic
• Strong closing statement

You can choose whether to write your outline in full sentences or short phrases. Be consistent in your choice; don’t randomly write some points as full sentences and others as short phrases.

Examples of outlines for different types of essays are presented below: an argumentative, expository, and literary analysis essay.

Argumentative essay outline

This outline is for a short argumentative essay evaluating the internet’s impact on education. It uses short phrases to summarize each point.

Its body is split into three paragraphs, each presenting arguments about a different aspect of the internet’s effects on education.

• Importance of the internet
• Concerns about internet use
• Thesis statement: Internet use a net positive
• Data exploring this effect
• Analysis indicating it is overstated
• Students’ reading levels over time
• Why this data is questionable
• Video media
• Interactive media
• Speed and simplicity of online research
• Questions about reliability (transitioning into next topic)
• Evidence indicating its ubiquity
• Claims that it discourages engagement with academic writing
• Evidence that Wikipedia warns students not to cite it
• Argument that it introduces students to citation
• Summary of key points
• Value of digital education for students
• Need for optimism to embrace advantages of the internet

Expository essay outline

This is the outline for an expository essay describing how the invention of the printing press affected life and politics in Europe.

The paragraphs are still summarized in short phrases here, but individual points are described with full sentences.

• Claim that the printing press marks the end of the Middle Ages.
• Provide background on the low levels of literacy before the printing press.
• Present the thesis statement: The invention of the printing press increased circulation of information in Europe, paving the way for the Reformation.
• Discuss the very high levels of illiteracy in medieval Europe.
• Describe how literacy and thus knowledge and education were mainly the domain of religious and political elites.
• Indicate how this discouraged political and religious change.
• Describe the invention of the printing press in 1440 by Johannes Gutenberg.
• Show the implications of the new technology for book production.
• Describe the rapid spread of the technology and the printing of the Gutenberg Bible.
• Link to the Reformation.
• Discuss the trend for translating the Bible into vernacular languages during the years following the printing press’s invention.
• Describe Luther’s own translation of the Bible during the Reformation.
• Sketch out the large-scale effects the Reformation would have on religion and politics.
• Summarize the history described.
• Stress the significance of the printing press to the events of this period.

Literary analysis essay outline

The literary analysis essay outlined below discusses the role of theater in Jane Austen’s novel Mansfield Park .

The body of the essay is divided into three different themes, each of which is explored through examples from the book.

• Describe the theatricality of Austen’s works
• Outline the role theater plays in Mansfield Park
• Introduce the research question : How does Austen use theater to express the characters’ morality in Mansfield Park ?
• Discuss Austen’s depiction of the performance at the end of the first volume
• Discuss how Sir Bertram reacts to the acting scheme
• Introduce Austen’s use of stage direction–like details during dialogue
• Explore how these are deployed to show the characters’ self-absorption
• Discuss Austen’s description of Maria and Julia’s relationship as polite but affectionless
• Compare Mrs. Norris’s self-conceit as charitable despite her idleness
• Summarize the three themes: The acting scheme, stage directions, and the performance of morals
• Answer the research question
• Indicate areas for further study

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You will sometimes be asked to hand in an essay outline before you start writing your essay . Your supervisor wants to see that you have a clear idea of your structure so that writing will go smoothly.

Even when you do not have to hand it in, writing an essay outline is an important part of the writing process . It’s a good idea to write one (as informally as you like) to clarify your structure for yourself whenever you are working on an essay.

If you have to hand in your essay outline , you may be given specific guidelines stating whether you have to use full sentences. If you’re not sure, ask your supervisor.

When writing an essay outline for yourself, the choice is yours. Some students find it helpful to write out their ideas in full sentences, while others prefer to summarize them in short phrases.

You should try to follow your outline as you write your essay . However, if your ideas change or it becomes clear that your structure could be better, it’s okay to depart from your essay outline . Just make sure you know why you’re doing so.

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