ivy league personal statements

5 Ivy-level Personal Statement Examples [Updated 2023]

by Winning Ivy Prep Team | Apr 4, 2023 | College Essay Examples , Personal Statement Examples

Here, we have 5 high quality   Personal Statement essay examples  from my students over the years. Great Common App Personal Statements tend to give a glimpse into each student’s life, thought processes, growth, and maturity.

Another trend that you may notice with these essay examples is that they’re not entirely CAREER or ACADEMIC based. It depends on the vibe you’re going for, but the general rule of thumb is to think about these essays from the perspective of the admissions officer.

In other words, it’s NOT as simple as “showing off your personality” in personal statement. You might hear this or read this somewhere, but, seriously, don’t listen to it. Your personality will not get you into a top school (unless you’re trying to hustle your way into a party when you’re not on the guest list, then that’s different.)

Think about it rationally: An admissions officer’s JOB is to assemble a cohort of great students into his/her university. Upon reading each application, an admissions professional is thinking: “How will this student contribute to our school? What will this person bring to the table?”

So, your personal statement needs to help answer that question. 

Note: O fficial Common App Personal Statement Prompts are posted here.

Remember, the word count is 650 words! And, just an FYI — titles for college app essays are completely unnecessary. I just included them in this post to refer to them more easily.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

8 Strong Ivy League Essay Examples

What’s covered:.

• Essay 1: Princeton
• Essay 2: Cornell
• Essay 3: Yale
• Essay 4: Brown
• Essay 5: UPenn
• Essay 6: Dartmouth
• Essay 7: Columbia
• Essay 8: Harvard
• Where to Get Your Essay Edited for Free

The Ivy League consists of eight private institutions on the East Coast, known for having extremely competitive admissions rates. The following schools are in the Ivy League: Princeton, Harvard, Yale, Columbia, UPenn, Cornell, Brown, and Dartmouth.

These schools all have their own supplemental essays, ranging from typical topics like “ Why This College? ” to more unique topics that change from year to year. Because the Ivies are some of the most competitive schools in the country, your essays are crucial for you to showcase aspects of yourself that might not be apparent from other parts of your application. 

In this post, we’ll provide a strong essay example for each Ivy and explain what each did well and where they could be improved. Read on to learn more about how to craft a compelling narrative!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Essay #1: Princeton

Prompt: Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation, title and author at the beginning of your essay. (250-650 words)

“One of the great challenges of our time is that the disparities we face today have more complex causes and point less straightforwardly to solutions.” 

– Omar Wasow, assistant professor of politics, Princeton University. This quote is taken from Professor Wasow’s January 2014 speech at the Martin Luther King Day celebration at Princeton University . 

The air is crisp and cool, nipping at my ears as I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the sky, starless. It is a Friday night in downtown Corpus Christi, a rare moment of peace in my home city filled with the laughter of strangers and colorful lights of street vendors. But I cannot focus. 

My feet stride quickly down the sidewalk, my hand grasps on to the pepper spray my parents gifted me for my sixteenth birthday. My eyes ignore the surrounding city life, focusing instead on a pair of tall figures walking in my direction. I mentally ask myself if they turned with me on the last street corner. I do not remember, so I pick up the pace again. All the while, my mind runs over stories of young women being assaulted, kidnapped, and raped on the street. I remember my mother’s voice reminding me to keep my chin up, back straight, eyes and ears alert. 

At a young age, I learned that harassment is a part of daily life for women. I fell victim to period-shaming when I was thirteen, received my first catcall when I was fourteen, and was nonconsensually grabbed by a man soliciting on the street when I was fifteen. For women, assault does not just happen to us— its gory details leave an imprint in our lives, infecting the way we perceive the world. And while movements such as the Women’s March and #MeToo have given victims of sexual violence a voice, harassment still manifests itself in the lives of millions of women across the nation. Symbolic gestures are important in spreading awareness but, upon learning that a surprising number of men are oblivious to the frequent harassment that women experience, I now realize that addressing this complex issue requires a deeper level of activism within our local communities. 

Frustrated with incessant cases of harassment against women, I understood at sixteen years old that change necessitates action. During my junior year, I became an intern with a judge whose campaign for office focused on a need for domestic violence reform. This experience enabled me to engage in constructive dialogue with middle and high school students on how to prevent domestic violence. As I listened to young men uneasily admit their ignorance and young women bravely share their experiences in an effort to spread awareness, I learned that breaking down systems of inequity requires changing an entire culture. I once believed that the problem of harassment would dissipate after politicians and celebrities denounce inappropriate behavior to their global audience. But today, I see that effecting large-scale change comes from the “small” lessons we teach at home and in schools. Concerning women’s empowerment, the effects of Hollywood activism do not trickle down enough. Activism must also trickle up and it depends on our willingness to fight complacency. 

Finding the solution to the long-lasting problem of violence against women is a work-in-progress, but it is a process that is persistently moving. In my life, for every uncomfortable conversation that I bridge, I make the world a bit more sensitive to the unspoken struggle that it is to be a woman. I am no longer passively waiting for others to let me live in a world where I can stand alone under the expanse of darkness on a city street, utterly alone and at peace. I, too, deserve the night sky.

What the Essay Did Well

There are many positives to this essay. To begin with, launching into the essay with multi sensory imagery in the anecdote was really effective at drawing the reader in. The audiovisual context (laughter, street vendors) keeps the scene alive and fully immerses the reader, while the internal narration illustrates how this student looks at the world. The contrast between the imagery of the external scene and the internal thoughts and feelings fully immerses the reader in the essay and alludes to the overarching theme of things being more complicated than they seem on the outside.

Another good thing this essay did was provide a personal account of this student’s experiences with harassment. This established their authority to speak on the topic and underscores their essay with authenticity.  They then “zoom out” to provide relevant background information that supplies additional context for readers who might not be that familiar with the extent of the issue at hand. By relating their personal stories to the large-scale issue at hand, they simultaneously develop a personal connection while demonstrating an understanding of a serious global issue.

What really could’ve made or broken this essay was the quote the student chose. Allowing you to choose any quote, this is an extremely open-ended prompt which gives students the opportunity to write about whatever they choose. This student did an excellent job of picking a quote that isn’t well-known or significant, but fit perfectly into the narrative they were trying to express in this essay. The approach the student likely took with this prompt is figuring out what experience they wanted to discuss and finding a quote that fit, rather than picking a quote first. This approach made for an essay that existed independently from the quote and didn’t rely on it as a crutch.

All together, the essay feels cohesive with every part relating back to the overarching theme of diving deeper than the surface level of things. The student’s vulnerability and personal reflection throughout the essay helps carry the theme through each paragraph. Even the conclusion does a great job of circling back to the anecdote at the beginning, bringing the societal problem the student addressed back down to the personal level to remind the reader the student’s personal stake in the issue.

What Could Be Improved

One potential criticism of this essay could stem from the ratio of background to active work. The author spends a lot of time setting up their personal connection and the global context of the issue; however, their essay could stand to gain from more content centered on their actual actions towards fighting harassment against women. They could discuss another small-scale discussion or project they led or elaborate more on their current inclusion. Dedicating two paragraphs to this rather than one gives admissions officers a better idea of their leadership skills and active role in fighting harassment.

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Essay #2: Cornell

Prompt: Tell us about your interest in engineering or what you hope to achieve with a degree in engineering. Describe what appeals to you about Cornell Engineering and how it specifically relates to your engineering interests or aspirations. (650 words) 

Storytime with my grandfather was a terrifying thing. With astounding skill, he would seep blood into our carpet and perforate our walls with bullets from a civil war fought before I was born. But what truly frightened me about storytime was my grandfather, who spoke of massacres gloriously, almost with nostalgia, like the people who had  died were not real.

He told the child I was every story he knew about that war but would not tell me about the battle that took his legs.

This was the reason I sat by his stumps each night and listened to stories I hated—because I wanted to know. But it was also because I understood that his storytelling was a kind of exorcism for him. He had not walked since 1970, would never walk again for a country that had not improved, a country spitting on the bloody sacrifices he and his generation had made of their innocence, their limbs, their lives. How does one live with that? My grandfather does not; he has created a different reality for himself where the war was a beautiful, worthy thing, and he lets me into it. The story of his legs did not belong in this reality, so I lusted after it with the brand of hunger I reserved for things I subconsciously knew I would not get.

My grandfather deserved a reality he could cope with enough to admit. I couldn’t reverse the war, couldn’t raise the friends he had lost, but I thought he should walk, that a man deserved to move his feet upon the land he loved.

Although there were indeed prosthetics in Nigerian hospitals, he had no income source whatsoever and could barely even afford a bag of rice to sustain himself.

Day by day, I searched for answers in my introductory science textbook, but to no avail. I carried on this search in high school and made my biology textbook my companion. I studied the body systems in-depth for clues, but I found nothing. One day, I came across Biomechanics, and seeing that it had my answer made me want to study it  in college.

Then came another mammoth task of deciding my place of study. I kept searching and researching, without seeming to find any place fit for me until I came across Cornell’s novel 3D printed prosthetic limbs in the “Silicon Review.” Light, flexible, and cost-effective –a miracle, just what grandpa needed. I had found my home, the home of this model – Sibley School of Mechanical & Aerospace Engineering.

I intend to channel the research experience I gained from Pioneer Academics into Cornell’s undergraduate research programs at Sibley – specifically, the research on orthopedic biomechanics currently ongoing at the Van der Meulen lab. I hope to work with intellectual, goal-driven scholars at Cornell and develop better and safer models of the 3D prosthetic. Also, Cornell’s Tech Summer Research Experience gives me an opportunity to work with engineers in different disciplines, thus diversifying my abilities and improving my innovation. I hope to work at the Nikolaos Bouklos faculty, where I would learn about the model’s unpredictability and explore ways to stabilize it while receiving guidance from Cornell’s world-class faculty mentors.

My life as a Cornell engineer would not be about theory alone. I intend to gain hands-on experience for medical school from the Hospital for Special Surgery and work with body systems to understand the physical, electrical and chemical connections between limbs and prosthetics – a fantastic opportunity for an outstanding, well-rounded education! I love to play soccer, and I hope to learn from the Big Red and become better while contributing my skills to give our opponents the claw.

Fearless and brave, grandpa has been more than an inspiration to me. I hope to repay him in the best way possible, and a Cornell education is what I need to actualize my dream.

So often, “Why Major?” and “Why School?” essays like Cornell’s include one anecdote showing a student’s interest in a topic and then spend the majority of the essay listing offerings at the school that don’t necessarily connect back to the anecdote. That can not be said for this essay.

The beauty of this essay is how focused it is around one central idea, yet it still has a captivating and heart-wrenching anecdote, an explanation of the student’s passion, and a variety of opportunities they plan to take advantage of. Everything in this essay stems from this student’s selflessness and compassion for their grandfather. The anecdote is extremely pertinent to the piece as a whole because the end goal of their major is to develop a prosthetic to help their grandfather.

An important part of the essay is to discuss resources and opportunities at Cornell, and this student accomplishes that so effectively because every resource they describe relates back to the idea of building and improving prosthetics. From working with prosthetic models in a lab to learning about implementation and the body in a hospital, this student frames every opportunity in the light of helping their grandfather. The reader knows exactly what this student intends to do, and what is motivating each extracurricular choice.

This essay leaves us with such a strong impression of who this student is and what motivates them. Their selflessness and dedication to their family has been a driving force throughout high school and will continue to be one in college. They are determined to persevere and want to use their education to help those around them. By revealing so much of their character in this essay, it demonstrates to admissions officers that this is the student they want on their campus.

In general, this is a very strong response and there is little to change. However, in such a highly-focused essay where every detail connects, this sentences feels very out of place: “ I love to play soccer, and I hope to learn from the Big Red and become better while contributing my skills to give our opponents the claw. “

While the student was likely trying to demonstrate a non-academic passion they will bring to Cornell, haphazardly throwing in a singular sentence without connecting it to anything else disrupts the momentum they have built throughout the essay. This essay was so strong because everything related to the common thread of helping their grandfather, but playing soccer is irrelevant to the other points being made. Since this sentence doesn’t tie into any other part of the essay, it would be better off without it.

This is a good example of not including details for the sake of including them. Admissions officers will see your accomplishments in other parts of the application, so you don’t need to work it into your essay if it doesn’t relate. Especially when the topic of the essay is so strong and focused, throwing in extraneous details will only confuse your readers and diminish the overall impact of your essay.

Essay #3: Yale

Prompt: Yale students, faculty, and alumni engage issues of local, national, and international importance. Discuss an issue that is significant to you and how your college experience could help you address it. (250 words)

A chaotic sense of sickness and filth unfolds in an overcrowded border station in McAllen, Texas. Through soundproof windows, migrants motion that they have not showered in weeks and children wear clothes caked in mucus and tears. The humanitarian crisis at the southern border exists not only in photographs published by mainstream media, but miles from my home in South Texas.

As a daughter of immigrants, I have heard countless stories of migrants being turned away by a country they desperately seek to love. After seeing the abhorrent conditions migrants face upon arriving in the U.S., I began volunteering with Loaves and Fishes, an organization that shelters and provides necessities to undocumented immigrants. This year, my experiences collecting donations and working at pop-up soup kitchens have made me realize that the communities in South Texas promote true American values of freedom and opportunity. The U.S. government, however, must do better.

During my university career, I aspire to learn how our immigration system can be positively reformed by considering the politics and economics that shape policy-making. Particularly, classes such as Institutional Design and Institutional Change will prepare me to effect change in existing institutions by analyzing various methods to bolster the economy. 

Additionally, I hope to join the Yale Refugee Project that volunteers at the southern border and prepares asylum cases for court. With the numerous opportunities offered by YRP, I will be part of a generation of activists and lawmakers that builds a more empathetic immigration system.

One of the benefits of this essay is how the student establishes the issue in detail prior to explaining her personal connection to it. The hook uses detailed imagery, typically seen in personal anecdotes, to describe the issue. Describing the issue at hand instead of an experience the student had helps the reader grasp the issue so they know exactly what the student is referring to when she explains her personal connection.

Having already established the issue, it then becomes much easier for the reader to understand the significance to the student without being explicitly told what it is. The combined details of her family’s background and the actions she has taken to address the issue help display her dedication to the issue and passion for solving it. The student never gives the reader an explanation as to why she cares so deeply about this issue, but through her writing, that reveals her internal identity and external actions, it becomes evident.

Another positive aspect was that the essay only discussed two resources at Yale that would be beneficial to the student. For “Why This College” essays, it’s all about quality over quantity. Elaborating on what the specific classes and the Yale Refugee Program will offer her in terms of professional development provides much more insight than if she had listed a bunch of Yale opportunities with no explanation of what made them special to her. 

Something this essay was missing was a conclusion to wrap up the essay. It ends by discussing the Yale Refugee Program, but fails to connect back to the student or the larger issue at hand. It’s understandable that she was pressed for space with a limited word count, but the ending felt abrupt. Adding one sentence to the end that shifts focus back to the student or how Yale as a whole would allow her to better the world would make the essay feel complete, leaving the reader satisfied.

There are many ways this student could tie the essay together in the conclusion, but one way would be to connect back to the observation the student made earlier that the “ U.S. government, however, must do better. ” This line isn’t really elaborated on and without a connection to how she plans to fix the mistakes of the current government it feels unnecessary. Saying something along the lines of “ With the tools Yale would give me I could tear down the barriers to immigration and construct new systems to steer federal immigration policy in an inclusive direction ” would provide a satisfying conclusion and an explanation of how this student will use her public policy degree to improve the government. 

Essay #4: Brown

Prompt: Brown’s Open Curriculum allows students to explore broadly while also diving deeply into their academic pursuits. Tell us about any academic interests that excite you, and how you might use the Open Curriculum to pursue them while also embracing topics with which you are unfamiliar. (200-250 words) 

My mother exclaimed in shock as she saw the title American Murder: The Family Next Door as the latest title on our Netflix watch list. “Why on earth would you want to watch that?” It made no sense to her that I spent free time watching documentaries about the psychopathic tendencies of serial killers.

From listening to neuropsychology podcasts on my long runs to reading Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment , I’ve been eager to explore the intersection between neuroscience, society, and the role they play in human nature. Brown’s Open Curriculum would allow me to double concentrate in Neuroscience and Science, Technology, and Society with a theme in Health and Medicine. Classes like Philosophy of Biology and The Moral Brain would begin to answer my questions about the relationship between neuroscience and human ethics. Perhaps I’ll finally understand why Raskolnikov thought he could get away with his crimes.

As an eight-year Latin scholar and five-time Percy Jackson reader, I hope to take classes in the Brown Classics department. I’m also intrigued by Ancient Greek Philosophy, and I plan to explore classic texts such as Plato’s Symposium in Introduction to Greek Literature. Courses like Hippocratic Medicine would allow me to learn about connections between the Classical world and medicine today. 

The brain’s unique composition creates an intricate link between science, history, and modern society that I can only explore at Brown. More importantly, Brown’s diverse environment would introduce me to people with entirely different opinions about Raskolnikov’s motives.

This essay is structured incredibly well. The author uses an anecdote to explain their interests in the opening paragraph. “ My mother exclaimed in shock ,” is the beginning of an opening sentence that draws the reader in, as the reader wants to learn the reason behind the mother’s shock. This opening allows the writer to speak about an interest of theirs, murder documentaries, then tie it to what they’re interested in studying. 

When discussing an academic interest, the author does a great job of providing specific examples connected to Brown. This allows the writer to share how they plan to take advantage of Brown’s unique Open Curriculum. They write, “ Classes like Philosophy of Biology and The Moral Brain would begin to answer my questions about the relationship between neuroscience and human ethics .” By sharing specific classes, it’s clear that the author has done some research about Brown and is truly interested in attending. 

The writer chooses to spend their last paragraph sharing more interests and how they could pursue these interests at Brown. They did a great job sharing a variety of interests, and they made it fun by writing that they’re a “ five-time Percy Jackson reader. ” Sharing details like this about yourself can help make your essays stand out because you come across as relatable, and your essay becomes more engaging and entertaining for the reader!

While it’s nice that the writer mentions various interests, including both neuroscience and classics, there doesn’t seem to be a strong connection between the two topics. The essay would be better if the author improved the transition between the second and third paragraphs. They could say how it’s not common to be able to study both neuroscience and classics because of how different the subjects are but that Brown’s open curriculum lets you pursue both.

More simply, the writer could share why they want to study both topics. Will they both be relevant for their career goals? Are they just curious about exploring a variety of subjects and classes at Brown? No matter the reason, a connection between their interests and a better transition would strengthen this essay.

Additionally, the essay prompt asks students to talk about both topics that interest them and “embracing topics with which you are unfamiliar.” It’s always important to keep the prompt in mind when outlining or writing it. This student wrote a lot about their interests, but it’s a little unclear how they plan to embrace topics with which they’re unfamiliar. Clarifying which topic in this essay the writer hasn’t studied would improve the response and ensure that it directly answers the prompt.

Essay #5: UPenn 

Prompt: How did you discover your intellectual and academic interests, and how will you explore them at the University of Pennsylvania? Please respond considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected. (300-450 words)

There’s a certain energy palpable at protests, each chant a powerful reminder that you are not alone in a seemingly futile fight- it’s why I love organizing. At Penn you will be sure to find me advocating for environmental education in local school districts with Eco Reps (gotta start them young), or even marching through the streets of Philly to demand climate action.

Despite my love for grassroots activism, I often feel frustrated in the weeks following a protest as the buzz dies down; despite overwhelming support for change, be it climate action, BLM, gun control, or Indigenous sovereignty, it often feels like our cries fall upon deaf ears. 

I believe in order for tangible change to occur, our leaders and policymakers need to reflect the diversity and interests of the public. Penn will equip me to be that leader.

Having the tools to understand both the science and history within issues like public health or climate change is something I believe will be invaluable to study in the Environmental Policy and Application program at Penn. Using the knowledge I gain from classes like Natural Disturbances and Human Disasters , which bridges my interest in the environment with the very tangible effects of human-made and natural disasters, I can be a better informed leader, learning from past mistakes to create preventative solutions for future catastrophes through policy. 

Integrated into West Philly, to me, the lack of barriers between campus and the city symbolizes the infinite space for growth and exploration. At Penn, I can study politics while also indulging in the arts at the Arthur Ross Gallery, or how to integrate principles of sustainability in an urban environment. And, of course, being able to admire the beautiful gothic architecture as I sit in class (gotta love that dark academia aesthetic) while also being able to experience the rich culture and diversity of the urban environment of Philadelphia is definitely a plus (I mean, Chinatown and cheesesteaks? Come on!). 

UPenn’s emphasis on global education is especially appealing to me; solving the climate crisis cannot and will not fall upon one country; it must be a collective effort. With that comes the need to understand (and learn from) sustainability in other countries, therefore, having the opportunity to take classes like Politics of the Global Environment in the Political Science program will allow me to gain a deeper understanding of the nuances of international policy and approaches to environmental issues in different countries, where they intersect and how they differ. 

I believe as global citizens it is crucial to approach learning from a global perspective as opposed to a nationalistic one; I believe UPenn will help me do just that. 

This essay does a very nice job of laying out what led this student to pursue politics and what they hope to get out of each opportunity at UPenn. We can see their strong sense of civic duty in the first paragraph when they discuss the excitement of protests, but telling us they feel “ frustrated in the weeks following a protest as the buzz dies down ” helps us understand their need to take things into their own hands.

When discussing different opportunities at Penn, this student chooses depth over breadth—describing why a small number of offerings are important to them and will be beneficial rather than providing a laundry list of items. For example, when they mention a class they are interested in, they elaborate by saying it “ bridges my interest in the environment with the very tangible effects of human-made and natural disasters .” Similarly, they demonstrate their forward-thinking approach when discussing global opportunities by noting their need to “ gain a deeper understanding of the nuances of international policy and approaches to environmental issues in different countries. “

Another positive aspect is how strong this student’s voice is throughout the essay. We see their passion and love for protesting at the beginning, they clearly express their position on representation in politics, and they inject a lot of humor into the paragraph about Philly. Having conviction and making an essay casual yet impactful is a hard balance to strike, but this student does a nice job of that. 

Although it’s important to not just focus on academic opportunities, students can sometimes make the mistake of writing about a city, rather than a school, when they discuss extracurriculars. The paragraph about the opportunities awaiting this student in Philly was great for including their personal voice, but it isn’t specific to Penn. 

Rather than making art galleries and cheesesteaks the primary focus of the paragraph, the student should have discussed a club or organization that is unique to Penn. Something related to climate justice would fit in nicely with the rest of their essay and would give the author the opportunity to further elaborate on what they hope to accomplish out of the classroom. They can still find a way to work in some humor, but it shouldn’t be the main aspect of the paragraph.

Essay #6: Dartmouth

Prompt: The Hawaiian word mo’olelo is often translated as “story” but it can also refer to history, legend, genealogy, and tradition. Use one of these translations to introduce yourself. (250-300 words)

As a child, darkness meant nightmares, so I would pester my grandmother to tell me stories while the sun was trapped amongst silver hues. My religious grandmother would proceed to tell me about the Supreme Being in Hindu mythology, made of Brahma (the creator), Vishnu (the preserver), and Shiva (the destroyer). Together, these Gods defined the cyclical nature of mortal existence through creation and destruction – life and death.

Although I found this idea interesting, each year in my life brought on a better understanding of these Gods’ purposes – I only had a certain number of years before I faced my life’s “destruction.”

My only answer to living more in my one life was to stuff my head into pages filled with the journeys of fictional characters. I was a member of a motorcycle club, a terminally-ill teenager, and much more than what I could be in my physical life. Authors let me experience hundreds of lives through literature, therefore, inspiring me to create fictional lives of my own.

So, hello! I’m Navya – named after a star shining the night I was born. For most of my life, I’ve struggled with the idea that we each experience life only once before our own lives are destroyed, but books have helped me find a way to live thousands of lives. I am an aspiring author and want to write historical fiction books that cheat the Gods, who said that everything must be destroyed, because my characters will never fade. And all this happened because of my grandmother and her love of Hindu mythology. Mythology sparked a quest for me to find how I could get the most out of my life but my mo’olelo is nowhere near its ending. I have more lives to experience and more lives to write. 

This essay beautifully combines this student’s life story with their passion for physical stories. Connecting these two types of stories gives extra depth and nuance to the essay, showing this student’s ability to think creatively. The idea that her life story revolves around fictional stories shines through in sentences like: “ My only answer to living more in my one life was to stuff my head into pages filled with the journeys of fictional characters .”

Our stories aren’t just comprised of the past though, and this essay does a great job of transitioning from the past to the future. Telling the reader “ Authors let me experience hundreds of lives through literature, therefore, inspiring me to create fictional lives of my own ” lets us appreciate how deeply engrained literature  is in this student’s personal story. The admissions officers reading this essay walk away knowing exactly what this student hopes to do one day and where the inspiration for that career came from. 

The idea of stories are woven throughout this essay, making it exceptionally well-connected. Although the beginning is meant to introduce a sense of fear at mortality this student encountered, it is done so through a story her grandmother told about her culture. Then the student explains the sanctuary and inspiration she found through famous stories, and finally it concludes with her describing the stories she will tell. Combined, all these pieces of mythology and literature form this student’s personal story.

The only real weakness in this essay is the conclusion. While it is well-written and nicely summarizes everything the author has explained, it doesn’t contribute anything new to the essay. The only new pieces of information the reader gains is that the student wants to “ write historical fiction books ” and that her “ mo’olelo is nowhere near its ending .”

To avoid redundancy, the conclusion could have been made stronger if it was simply focused on the future. Discussing this student’s aspirations to be a historical fiction writer—maybe including possible stories or time periods she dreams about—would have made the finale more focused and also have given the same amount of attention to the future of her story as she did the past and present. Then, the essay would chronologically follow this student’s life story from when she was young, to her current passion, to her future goals, allowing the reader to seamlessly see the progression, rather than having it restated for us. 

Essay #7: Columbia

Prompt: For applicants to Columbia College, please tell us what from your current and past experiences (either academic or personal) attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study that you noted in the Member Questions section. If you are currently undecided, please write about any field or fields in which you may have an interest at this time. (300 words)

The flickering LED lights began to form into a face of a man when I focused my eyes. The man spoke a ruthless serial killer of the decade who had been arrested in 2004, and my parents shivered at his reaccounting of the case. I curiously tuned in, wondering who he was to speak of such crimes with concrete composure and knowledge. Later, he introduced himself as a profiler named Pyo Chang Won, and I watched the rest of the program by myself without realizing that my parents had left the couch.

After watching the program, I recited the foreign word until it was no longer unfamiliar—”profiler”. I stayed up all-night searching the meaning; my eyes sparkled with the dim light of the monitor as I read the tales of Pyo Chang Won and his Sherlock-like stories. From predicting the future of criminals and knowing the precise vicinity of a killer on the loose, he had saved countless lives; living in communities riddled with crimes in my youth then and even now, I dreamed of working against crimes. However, the traditional path of a lawyer or a police officer only reinforced the three-step cycle of arrest, trial, and jail which continued with no fundamental changes for years; I wanted to work with the psyche of criminals beyond courts and wondered about the inner workings of the mind. 

Such admiration and interest led me to invest my time in psychology. Combined with working with the likes of the Victim Witness Agency, I decided to pursue psychology as my major for my undergraduate education. Later on, I want to specialize my research and education on behavioral/forensic psychology and eventually branch out to my childhood dream of becoming a criminal profiler. 

A major positive of this essay is how it is focused on one moment in time. This student goes into depth about the night they first fell in love with criminal psychology which allows the reader to feel like they are there watching TV with the student and researching afterwards. Having the essay focus on a snapshot of the student’s life opens the door to include more imagery and delve into the internal monologue of the student, thus creating a more engaging and personable essay. 

The student’s genuine fascination for the topic is evident through what they show the reader. They explain that they stayed to finish the show after their parents left, they stayed up all night researching what they just learned, and their eyes sparkled the more they learned about criminal psychology. Providing all these details shows the student’s fascination and passion for this topic without them ever having to explicitly say they were excited about it. 

This essay also does a good job of expanding past the requirements of the prompt to explain what they hope to accomplish with their degree. Including their goals reinforced their passion to pursue this field to admissions officers. It also demonstrated that they are a goal-oriented person who wants to make a difference in the world.

One thing that could be improved in this essay is the grammar. There were a few sentences where there were either typos or just clunky sentences that could be tightened up. In order to catch grammatical errors, you should always give your essay to at least one other person to read. CollegeVine offers  essay reviews that allows students to receive feedback on the grammar, structure, and content of their essays. It’s always a good idea to have a fresh pair of eyes read your essay to catch mistakes that might go unnoticed by you. Having someone review this essay would have likely helped this student fix their grammatical errors.

Essay #8: Harvard

Prompt:   You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel that the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics:  Travel, living, or working experiences in your own or other communities.

A scream in the night.

In the town of Montagu, South Africa, the sun had set hours ago, leaving its place to a deep dark sky. Everything was peaceful and quiet. In a little lodge, a family of four people had just finished eating on a dimly lit terrace. The heat was so intense even the black silence seemed to suffocate – only a few crickets dared to break its density. The mother asked something to her daughter, who stood up, and bypassed the table. That’s when she screamed. An intense, long scream, that reverberated in the little town of Montagu.

How do I know that? It was me. 

Me, miserable as I had fallen down the terrace… into a plantation of cacti! I couldn’t move. I felt as if each cactus thorn contained poison that spread through my back, my arms, my entire body. The plants were engulfing me into the darkness. I was suffocating, trying to grasp some of the hot, heavy air. Until I felt her hand. My mom’s. 

She and my father organized this trip to South Africa. Valuing experiences more than material wealth, they liked to organize trips to foreign, far away countries. In addition to South Africa, I visited Cuba, Nepal and China. Four countries where landscapes and cities are dissimilar to France’s. Four countries that allowed me to discover numerous communities, recipes and traditions. Four countries where I met animals, plants and humans I had never seen before.

I am a city girl. As a little girl, I was never really fond of flora or fauna. However, during my trips, I was lucky to see animals in freedom and to interact with nature. A baboon broke into my car in South Africa and walked all over me – literally. I held an iguana in Cuba, did a safari in South Africa and talked with a parrot in Nepal. I saw the sun rising on the Machapuchare. I ultimately understood that all I had experienced was thanks to Nature. I realized its preciousness and its urgency to be saved. I gained proximity to the environment that I had always lacked. My blood turned green thanks to travels. 

In addition to animal discoveries, travels are encounter engines. From little to aged humans, from all genders, from everywhere, travels allowed me to meet incredible people. The uncanny apparition of a mysterious little girl particularly touched me in Ghorepani, Nepal. I had walked for seven hours that day, and was waiting for dinner, sitting on a bench. She slowly advanced towards me.

“What’s your name?” I asked the white figure in the obscurity.

The little girl stopped moving. Dark curly hair, dark deep eyes, white clothes covered in mud among the deep dark night. Our eyes locked in each other’s, the sound of our breathing floating in the dense silence, everything seemed to be suspended. After what felt like dozens of hours, she looked at me and silently walked away, a star in the ink black sky. 

Every person encountered made me grow. Some like the Nepalese little girl simply disrupted me, some opened my eyes on poverty, others opened my eyes on racism. Every person I met had a story to share, a fact to transmit. I visited an orphanage in a township in South Africa. The teacher, a frail and tiny woman, explained that racism was still so profound in the country that black and mixed race people were fighting to death in the neighbourhood. Centuries of abuse towards people of color, for children to pay the price, growing up parentless in the orphanage. The sound of the rain was echoing on the metal houses as the children sang their anthem. Wet furrows appeared as raindrops were racing on every cheek:

‘Let us live and strive for freedom,

In South Africa our land.’

Traveling is ultimately a chance. It is an opportunity to understand the complexity of the world by getting close to it. Traveling allowed me to realize the differences between each country and region. But beyond those dissimilarities, I saw singing, dancing and laughing everywhere in the world. Being away brought me closer to my home and my family and friends, my newspaper team, every community I’m involved in. Traveling represents a learning process. I integrated leadership and diligence in Nepal, watching children and old men transport wood on their back. Speaking foreign languages allowed me to acquire experience and put my theoretical skills to practise. I acquired a lot of adaptability through travels as part of their greatness comes from its unpredictability. Traveling truly enriches the intellect of those who have the chance to do it.

This is overall a delightful, very readable essay. The author starts with a dramatic hook to capture the reader’s attention, and they build on that initial story with vivid imagery like “ I felt as if each cactus thorn contained poison that spread through my back, my arms, my entire body. ” In general, the language is strong throughout the entire essay. Other beautiful gems include, “ The sound of the rain was echoing on the metal houses as the children sang their anthem ” and, “ The uncanny apparition of a mysterious little girl particularly touched me. ” The author has a way with words, and they proudly demonstrate it in their response. 

In addition to strong imagery, the author also does a satisfactory job at answering the prompt. The open-ended question not only means that students could answer in a variety of ways, but also that it might be easy to fall into a trap of answering in an unrelated or uninteresting manner. The author here does a good job of directly answering the prompt by providing clear examples of their travels around the world. Their response also goes beyond merely listing experiences; rather, they tell stories and describe some of the notable people they have met along the way. By telling stories and adopting a whimsical tone that evokes the wanderlust of travel, they elevate the impact of their response. 

We also learn a fair amount about the author through their stories and personal reflections. We see that they are concerned about social justice through their retelling of the interactions in South Africa. We see them reflecting on the universal joys of singing and dancing: “ But beyond those dissimilarities, I saw singing, dancing and laughing everywhere in the world. ” In the closing paragraph, we learn that they are adaptable and willing to undergo lifelong learning. Thus, another reason this essay shines is because it not only tells us what travels/experiences the author has engaged in, but it provides deeper introspection regarding how they have grown from these experiences.

While the essay is beautiful, and the fast-moving pace matches the feeling of seeing unfamiliar places for the first time, the narrative runs the risk of being too wide-ranging. The introductory story of falling onto a bed of cacti could warrant an entire essay unto itself, yet the author does not return to it anywhere else in their response. They missed an opportunity to bring the response full circle by ruminating on that once more in their conclusion. 

Another thing to be careful of is how the privilege inherent in international travel might cause the author to see the life through a certain lens. Although they remark upon how their family prioritizes experiences over material wealth, the fact is that extensive international travel relies on having material wealth to pay for costs like airfare and housing. It is important to demonstrate humility and awareness of privilege when responding to college essay prompts, and this is no exception. 

Where to Get Your Essays Edited 

At top schools like the Ivies, your essays account for around 25% of your admissions decision after you clear the academic thresholds. Why is this? Most students applying to the Ivy League will have stellar academics and extracurriculars. Your essays are your chance to stand out and humanize your application.

After reading your essays over and over, it can be difficult to judge your writing objectively. That’s why we created our Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. Since they don’t know you personally, they can be a more objective judge of whether your personality shines through, and whether you’ve fully answered the prompt. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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Hi everyone! I'm applying to a few Ivy League schools and I want to make sure my personal statement is top-notch. Can you guys share any advice or tips that helped you craft a strong personal statement for Ivy League applications? Thanks!

Hello! A strong personal statement is essential for Ivy League applications, and it's great that you're focusing on making yours stand out. Here are some tips to help you create an impressive personal statement:

1. Start early and revise often: Give yourself plenty of time to brainstorm, write, and revise your essay. It's important to go through multiple drafts and ask for feedback from trusted individuals such as teachers, counselors, or mentors.

2. Be genuine and authentic: Admissions officers want to know who you are, so make sure your voice and personality come through in your writing. Don't be afraid to share your unique perspective and experiences, and avoid using cliches or trying to mimic someone else's style.

3. Tell a story: A well-written narrative that engages the reader is much more memorable than a list of accomplishments or a generic essay. Choose a specific experience or moment that has had a significant impact on your life, and use that as the focal point of your essay.

4. Show, don't tell: Use descriptive language and vivid details to paint a picture for the reader. Instead of simply stating your qualities or experiences, provide examples and anecdotes that illustrate them.

5. Stay focused and cohesive: Your personal statement should have a clear theme or central idea that connects all of its parts. Make sure every paragraph relates back to this main idea, and avoid including irrelevant information that doesn't contribute to the overall message.

6. Demonstrate growth and self-awareness: Ivy League schools are looking for applicants who are open to learning and personal growth. Show how your experiences have shaped your character, values, and perspectives, and how you've used your insights to make positive changes in yourself or your community.

7. Edit and proofread carefully: Your personal statement should be polished and free of grammatical errors or awkward phrasings. Read your essay out loud to catch any inconsistencies, and have others review it for clarity and correctness.

For more in-depth advice, check out this CollegeVine article: https://blog.collegevine.com/how-to-write-the-common-application-essays

By taking the time to thoughtfully craft a compelling and well-written personal statement, you'll be well on your way to making a strong impression on Ivy League admissions officers. Good luck!

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Ivy League Prep is passionate about helping students craft outstanding college admissions profiles . In this article, we discuss our approach to an important section of the college application: the personal essay.

Your child’s personal essay is the ideal opportunity to take all the grades, scores, honors, activities, and other elements of their application and weave them together into a cohesive narrative.

The personal essay will show the admissions officer who your child is, how they think, and what they are passionate about. This brief snippet of prose should be the centerpiece of your child’s admissions profile, and all the other parts of the application should point toward it. Your child must effectively communicate their unique narrative through the personal essay.

However strong your child’s application is, they should strive to write a captivating personal essay that, if nothing else, takes a great application and makes it even better.

The Purpose of the Personal Essay

The personal essay is a 650-word written component of the Common Application that offers several diverse prompts. The short length of the essay and the narrow scope of each prompt means that the essay must provide a focused glimpse into who your child is and why they will be valuable to the college.

Most of the essays submitted to top colleges are average and don’t attract much attention. If your child’s essay doesn’t quickly grab the admissions officer’s attention, they might only spend a few minutes reading it.

So, what must your child’s personal essay communicate to the admissions officer to be interesting, effective, and memorable?

Quality Writing

Your child’s essay needs to show that their writing meets a satisfactory standard of quality and maturity. The essay should prove that your child has a firm grasp of English grammar, diction, writing style, form, and logic.

Effective Narrative

Admissions officers are looking for prose that effectively communicates your child’s narrative. If your child’s essay is banal and uninteresting, an admissions officer reading it will likely be bored. Your child’s essay needs to showcase their personality and unique perspective .

Conciseness

The online Common Application essay allows for no more than 650 words. While this may seem like too small a space for everything your child wants to communicate, it isn’t. Admissions officers have piles of applications to go through, so they consider brevity a virtue. Make sure you write concisely .

Narrow Focus

Being concise is not the same thing as having focus. It’s possible to write a short but scatterbrained essay or one that is longer but focused. The key is for your child to keep the essay both concise and focused. To do so, your child should focus on a single experience and use it to communicate their overall narrative.

Individuality

Admissions officers want to see a unique individual. Your child’s classes, grades, test scores, and activities will likely be common among college applicants. Therefore, your child needs to focus on their unique narrative, showing why they are exceptional . This means that your child must demonstrate authenticity, maturity, a unique perspective, and specialized knowledge or skills.

The personal essay is one more place to show the admissions officer that your child will add value to the campus. Your child should use the essay to show how their unique perspective, skills, and passions will inspire other students and enhance the college’s learning experience.

Top schools want applicants who are mature enough not only to handle the rigors of a challenging academic environment but also to take full advantage of those opportunities. The personal essay is one of the ways an admissions officer will gauge your child’s maturity level.

Passion and Ability

Admissions officers are looking for students with a high level of passion and ability. Passionate students tend to lead and inspire others, and highly skilled students tend to contribute to the success of the college’s programs. Your child’s application will likely already reflect their passions and interests, but the personal essay is an opportunity to breathe life into the facts included in the application.

In the personal essay, your child can use their unique experiences to show why they are so passionate and focused. Clearly, it is a significant part of the college application.

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How To Write Great Ivy League Essays (With Examples)

Introduction

College admissions are a tiresome process. The decision-making processes of hyper-selective Ivy League schools can seem mostly cloudy to applicants. 

You may have heard about the Common App Essay, and supplemental college application essays provide the opportunity for students to display some of the harder-to-summarize, technical aspects of their application. Through such essays, students give a chance to admissions officers to display a sense of their personality, likings that fall outside the scope of their resume, or moments that matter to them.

When nearing the personal statement and supplemental essays for hyper-selective schools, parents and students often wonder what Ivy League schools are be looking for. 

This article will discuss successful Ivy League essays’  qualities and offer step-by-step guidance to help you produce such work.

Let’s start by identifying what makes Ivy League applications and expectations qualitatively different from the others. There’s a type of trickle-down effect that we can see from Ivy League schools to liberal arts schools, so preparing your child for top schools’ applications can train them to apply to mid-tier schools as well.

But, mainly, we notice that the most selective colleges ask for students to demonstrate strong passion, leadership, competence, initiative, and memorability.

Admissions committees evaluate these essays as part of a holistic narrative of a student—a good essay doesn’t guarantee admission. Admissions—especially at Ivy League schools—is a complicated, multi-faceted, and ever-changing process. What might make one essay perfect in any given year might not apply to essays in upcoming years.

Keeping that in mind, we’ve collected successful Ivy League essays from applicants who were accepted into one or more Ivy League or Ivy+ institutions (such as Stanford, MIT, UChicago). By properly going through these essays, we’ve compiled a list of strategies for writing essay competition in a highly selective applicant pool.

Ivy League essay prompts

Supplemental prompts change a little bit every year. But we’ve systemized a list of the prompts from Ivy League schools from the 2018-2019 Common App. Between all of these questions and the Personal Statement, you will easily find several routes into demonstrating your best qualities. 

Keeping that in mind, we’ve first listed all of the prompts for the Ivy League schools. 

( Note: Cornell University is excluded from this list because their prompts vary by program. )

Princeton University essay prompt

In addition to the essay you have written for the Common Application, please write an essay of about 500 words (no more than 650 words and no fewer than 250 words). Using one of the themes below as a starting point, write about a person, event, or experience that helped you define one of your values or in some way changed how you approach the world. Please do not repeat the essay you wrote for the Common Application in whole or in part.

1. Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.

2.“One of the great challenges of our time is that the disparities we face today have more complex causes and point less straightforwardly to solutions.” Omar Wasow, assistant professor of politics, Princeton University. This quote is taken from Professor Wasow’s January 2014 speech at the Martin Luther King Day celebration at Princeton University.

3. “Culture is what presents us with the kinds of valuable things that can fill a life. And insofar as we can recognize the value in those things and make them part of our lives, our lives are meaningful.” Gideon Rosen, Stuart Professor of Philosophy and Chair, Department of Philosophy, Princeton University.

4. Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation, title, and author at the beginning of your essay.

Harvard University essay prompt

You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel that the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics:

• Unusual circumstances in your life
• Travel, living, or working experiences in your own or other communities
• What you would want your future college roommate to know about you
• An intellectual experience (course, project, book, discussion, paper, poetry, or research topic in engineering, mathematics, science, or other modes of inquiry) that has meant the most to you
• How you hope to use your college education
• A list of books you have read during the past twelve months
• The Harvard College Honor code declares that we “hold honesty as the foundation of our community.” As you consider entering this community committed to honesty, please reflect on a time when you or someone you observed had to choose whether to act with integrity and honesty. 
• The mission of Harvard College is to educate our students to be citizens and citizen-leaders for society. What would you do to contribute to the lives of your classmates in advancing this mission? 
• Each year, many students admitted to Harvard defer their admission for one year or take time off during college. If you decided in the future to choose either option, what would you like to do? 
• Harvard has long recognized the importance of student body diversity of all kinds. We welcome you to write about distinctive aspects of your background, personal development, or the intellectual interests you might bring to your Harvard classmates. 

Columbia University essay prompt

List a few words or phrases that describe your ideal college community. (150 words or less)

List the titles of the required readings from courses during the school year or summer that you enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or less)

List the titles of the books you read for pleasure that you enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or less)

List the titles of the print, electronic publications, and websites you read regularly. (150 words or less)

List the titles of the films, concerts, shows, exhibits, lectures, and other entertainments you enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or less)

Please tell us what you value most about Columbia and why. (300 words or less)

MIT essay prompt

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it. (100 words or fewer)

Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (100 words or fewer)

At MIT, we bring people together to better the lives of others. MIT students work to improve their communities differently, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to being good friends. Describe one way in which you have contributed to your community, whether in your family, the classroom, your neighborhood, etc. (200-250 words)

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (200-250 words)

Tell us about the most significant challenge you’ve faced or something important that didn’t go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)

University of Chicago essay prompt

Choose one of the six extended essay options and upload a one- or two-page response. 

1. In 2015, the city of Melbourne, Australia, created a ''tree-mail'' service, in which all of the trees in the city received an email address so that residents could report any tree-related issues. As an unexpected result, people began to email their favorite trees sweet and occasionally humorous letters. Imagine this has been expanded to any object (tree or otherwise) in the world, and share with us the letter you'd send to your favorite. 

Inspired by Hannah Lu, Class of 2020

2. You're on a voyage in the thirteenth century, sailing across the stormy seas. What if, suddenly, you fell off the edge of the Earth?

Inspired by Chandani Latey, AB'93

3. The word floccinaucinihilipilification is the act or habit of describing or regarding something as unimportant or of having no value. It originated in the mid-18th century from the Latin words ''floccu,'' ''naucum,'' ''nihilum,'' and ''pilus'' - all words meaning ''of little use.'' Coin your word using parts from any language you choose, tell us its meaning, and describe the plausible (if only to you) scenarios in which it would be most appropriately used.

Inspired by Ben Zhang, Class of 2022

4. Lost your keys? Alohomora. Noisy roommate? Quietus. Feel the need to shatter windows for some reason? Finestra. Create your spell, charm, jinx, or other means for magical mayhem. How is it enacted? Is there an incantation? Does it involve a potion or other magical object? If so, what's in it, or what is it? What does it do?

Inspired by Emma Sorkin, Class of 2021

5. Imagine you’ve struck a deal with the Dean of Admissions himself, Dean Nondorf. It goes as follows: you’re guaranteed admission to the University of Chicago regardless of any circumstances that arise. This bond is grounded on the condition that you’ll obtain a blank, 8.5 x 11 piece of paper, and draw, write, sketch, shade, stencil, paint, etc., anything and everything you want on it; your only limitations will be the boundaries of both sides on the single page. Now the catch… your submission will always be the first thing anyone you meet for the first time will see for the rest of your life. Whether it’s at a job interview, a blind date, arrival at your first Humanities class, before you even say, “Hey,” they’ll already have seen your page and formulated that first impression. Show us your page. What’s on it, and why? If your piece is essentially or exclusively visual, please make sure to share a creator's accompanying statement of at least 300 words, which we will happily allow to be on its own, separate page. PS: This is a creative thought experiment, so please note: selecting this essay prompt does not guarantee your admission to UChicago or forgive poor grades, criminal mischief, or any other “circumstances” that “may” “arise.” 

Inspired by Amandeep Singh Ahluwalia, Class of 2022

6. In the spirit of adventurous inquiry, pose your question or choose one of our past prompts. Be original, creative, thought-provoking. Draw on your best qualities as a writer, thinker, visionary, social critic, sage, a citizen of the world, or future citizen of the University of Chicago; take a little risk, and have fun. You can find our past prompts here.

How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your wishes and how they relate to UChicago.

Yale University essay prompt

What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words or fewer)

Please respond in no more than 200 characters (approximately 35 words) to each of the following questions: 

1. What inspires you?

2. Yale’s residential colleges regularly host conversations with guests representing a wide range of experiences and accomplishments. What person, past or present, would you invite to speak? What question would you ask?

3. You are teaching a Yale course. What is it called?

4. Most first-year Yale students live in suites of four to six people. What do you hope to add to your suitemates' experience? What do you wish they will add to yours?

Please choose two of the following topics and respond to each in 250 words or fewer. 

1. Think about an idea or topic that has been intellectually exciting for you. Why are you drawn to it? 

2. Reflect on your engagement with the community to which you belong. How do you feel you have contributed to this community?

3. Yale students, faculty, and alumni engage local, national, and international issues. Discuss an issue that is significant to you and how your college experience might help you address it. 

Stanford University essay prompt

• What is the most significant challenge that society faces today? (50-word limit)
• How did you spend your last two summers? (50-word limit)
• What historical moment or event do you wish you could have witnessed? (50-word limit)
• What five words best describe you?
• When the choice is yours, what do you read, listen to, or watch? (50-word limit)
• Name one thing you are looking forward to experiencing at Stanford. (50-word limit)
• Imagine you had an extra hour in the day — how would you spend that time? (50-word limit).
• The Stanford community is curious and driven to learn in and out of the classroom. Reflect on an idea or experience that makes you genuinely excited about learning. (100 to 250 words)
• Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate – and us – know you better. (100 to 250 words)
• Tell us about something meaningful to you and why. (100 to 250 words)

University of Pennsylvania essay prompt

How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying. (400-650 words) 

Dartmouth University essay prompt

While arguing a Dartmouth-related case before the U.S. Supreme Court in 1818, Daniel Webster, Class of 1801, delivered this memorable line: “It is, Sir…a small college. And yet, some love it!” As you seek admission to the Class of 2023, what aspects of the College’s program, community, or campus environment attract your interest?

Choose one of the following prompts and respond in 250-300 words:

• “I have no special talent,” Albert Einstein once observed. “I am only passionately curious.” Celebrate your curiosity.
• The Hawaiian word mo’olelo is often translated as “story,” but it can also refer to history, legend, genealogy, and tradition. Use one of these translations to introduce yourself.
• “You can’t use up creativity,” Maya Angelou mused. “The more you use, the more you have.” Share a creative moment or impulse—in any form—that inspired creativity in your life.
• In the aftermath of World War II, Dartmouth President John Sloane Dickey, Class of 1929, proclaimed, “The world’s troubles are your troubles…and there is nothing wrong with the world that better human beings cannot fix.” Which of the world’s “troubles” inspires you to act? How might your course of study at Dartmouth prepare you to address it?
• In The Bingo Palace, author Louise Erdrich, Class of 1976, writes, “…no one gets wise enough to understand the heart of another, though it is the task of our life to try.” Discuss.
• Emmy and Grammy winner Donald Glover is a 21st century Renaissance man—an actor, comedian, writer, director, producer, singer, songwriter, rapper, and DJ. And yet, the versatile storyteller and performer recently told an interviewer, “The thing I imagine myself being in the future doesn’t exist yet.” Can you relate?

Brown University essay prompt

Why are you drawn to the area(s) of study you indicated earlier in this application? (You may share with us a skill or concept that you found challenging and rewarding to learn or any experiences beyond course work that may have broadened your interest.) (250-word limit)

What do you hope to experience at Brown through the Open Curriculum, and what do you wish to contribute to the Brown community? (250-word limit)

What do all of the prompts mentioned above have in common? 

Remember the qualities we talked about above? Intense passion, leadership, competence, initiative, and memorability! Every one of these prompts is, in some way, planned to get you reflecting on something original and enthusiastic manner. 

After doing the close-reading of the Ivy+ prompts, we can notice a few key things.

Whether it’s Yale asking about something you are “intellectually excited” about, or Brown speaking about something to reflect on the particularities of the Open Curriculum, or Stanford extracting a note to a roommate, these schools want you to detail their most particular obsessions, and to be able to speak about them in a way that shows intelligence and unique way of thinking. 

They want to be sure that you will share your passions with your classmates, roommates, etc.

Yet again, these are the things any university school would love to see in your Common App PS. But the Ivy+ colleges’ questions are mainly to test such qualities.

What follows is advice that can apply to both the PS and the supplementals, given the wide range of topics one can address across each type of essay.

How to pick an Ivy League essay topic

Successful students write about what interests them. The topic shouldn’t be something weird or reflects the student’s central academic and extracurricular activities. It should be about something the student can write about with belief, excitement, and specificity.

We’ve four examples of students who pulled off successful admissions cycles to Ivy+ schools. Let’s see how they chose their subject matter.

Our first example student is Angela. Angela is passionate about the environment, though she’s also involved in activities like playing basketball, and she is also part of the French club. When choosing a topic for supplemental essays, one might expect Angela to select something related to her interest or that in some way reflects on her academic prowess in the humanities. 

Instead, in one of her supplemental essays, Angela chooses to write about a topic that may at first seem unrelated to her application. She decided to write about one of her favorite teachers, who significantly impacted her life.

Our second example student is Jenna. She’s interested in politics and history.  For her supplemental essays, she decided to write about her love for the musical. Hamilton .

In each essay, the students’ genuine interest in the subject shines through. By way of their interests, we learn, indirectly, more about each student herself.

In other words, it’s not so much the topic but the voice and tone in which these students write about their chosen subject that will give an admissions committee insight into their personalities and characters. In the next section of this post, we’ll break down how Angela and Jenna use tone, voice, and detail to communicate something about themselves while writing about Hamilton or a favorite teacher.

Our third student, Simon, his grades and test scores are high in math, science, and history. In extracurricular he has achieved in a mock trial but has also succeeded in art competitions. One of his supplemental essays for Princeton asked that he respond to a quotation of his choosing.

Like Angela and Maria, Simon didn’t pick anything they used to do regularly: he introspected and chose something that had genuinely piqued his curiosity in the things he’d studied in the past few years. In response to the quotation, the resulting essay is associative and spontaneous rather than a rehash of Simon’s impressive resume.

Let’s look at another example of a student name Rhea, who is the opposite of Simon. Rather than being “well-rounded,” Rhea is what the Harvard Admissions website might call “well-lopsided.” She loves writing and reading and has shown interest through her involvement with her school’s slam poetry team and national writing competitions. Besides that, she struggles in subjects like math. Rhea’s supplemental essay for Yale underlines the quality that makes her “well-lopsided”—she writes about it with pure intensity. 

In short, you should try to choose a topic you’re excited to talk about. What could you talk about with your friends endlessly for hours? How you spend your free time? Who’s the person in your life in your everyday life that has influenced or changed you? Are there moments in your life that have made you feel part of something larger?

How to decide on an essay structure

Once you have chosen a topic that you’re interested in, the next step is to decide the proper structure for the essay. An Ivy League-quality essay is not just about five paragraphs. An Ivy+ quality essay takes narrative and storytelling thoughtfully. It must read like beautiful fiction.

If you are genuinely passionate about your subject matter, an organic design can emerge—indicating that they weren’t just following a static set of building blocks. While we can’t backpedal engineer passion, we can give you some advice regarding storytelling brain rather than their resume-summary brain.

Let’s start with Jenna’s Hamilton essay and her supplemental essay about her favorite teacher. The first design element that makes these essays successful is the opening.

Strategy 1: A “Hook”

Jenna starts her essay with a hook that 1) draws the reader in and 2) forms her voice and enthusiasm instantly. Here’s the opening to her Hamilton essay:

A coal scuttle. A woman on stage, crying, singing, and burning a series of old-looking papers the tea color. All this: a way to tell the audience about someone history has forgotten. This is what happens at one of the emotional climaxes of my favorite musical: Eliza Hamilton, spurned by her husband, removes herself from the historical narrative by burning their letters. I saw Hamilton when my father won a lottery for tickets on a visit to New York City. A drama nerd, I was thrilled to get a chance to see the Pulitzer- and Tony-winning production. I didn’t know how much it would affect how I thought about the past and the present.

For comparison, let’s look at Angela’s opening to the essay about her favorite teacher:

“ Uncertainty could be my guiding light .” – U2

“ Do or do not. There is no try .” – Yoda.

“ Life’s what you make it, so let’s make it rock. ” – Hannah Montana.

A broad group of unconnected aphorisms? Not at all. More like drops of inspirational “Zachary-isms” splashing the drab cinderblock walls with colorful insights.

Observe that these essays open with a focus on something beyond the student: they start by stealing the reader’s attention. They also start small. Rather than declaring what the essay is “about,” Angela and Jenna focus on the specific images to draw the reader in.

It can be unsettling to sit in front of a blank page, trying to convey a big idea. The subject of Jenna’s essay is Hamilton. The idea she communicates in the rest of the essay is that she’s into drama. As a way to take the spotlight and settle for your best self, this musical showed her how through entertainment, she could communicate big ideas about history and politics while inspiring present-day audiences to remember that they’re living through history all the time. She put an essay that subtly links back to her favorite interests while not always keep talking about them too directly.

Observe, that she initiates the essay not by instantly making her love for Hamilton into a metaphor. Instead, she starts with a concrete detail—the climax of the show.

If you are stuck—say you’re trying to write an essay about how your desire for antique shopping taught you to listen to different people, brainstorm specific details about the things they like and are enthusiastic about. What do they know, particularly, about this thing? Jenna knows about the type of prop used onstage because she geeked out and asked around when she dreamt of putting on her version of the show at her high school.

Starting small and going big is a great idea. Also, a successful essay opening can also begin to big. Simon’s essay, which is written in response to a Machiavelli quotation he chose, begins with the following. 

The cosmos call to me. Whether in a city, where only the brightest stars break through the noise, or away from all distractions, where their number can overwhelm, I welcome the perspective the heavens bestow. Even though I try to tame the sky with books or a telescope, it never ceases to make me feel powerless. 

Establishing your essay with the cosmos is about as big as you can get. But a critical similarity between Simon’s opening and Angela’s is that he still uses a particular image, provided with curiosity and joy. It communicates to admissions committees: this guy knows what they’re talking about, and they’re talking about it from a place of intellectual vitality.

Strategy 2: Establish Larger Significance

So, you started your essay. You finally settled on a topic that excites you. You’ve written an attention-grabbing hook that uses specific knowledge, a sensory image, or fs the essay’s perspective. What next? 

Yes, the essay is about the student’s selected topic, but it’s about the student. The next section of the essay, after the hook, should fulfill two things. First, it should exhibit the student’s voice. Second, it should show that the student has thought about why this thing might grab their interest.

Let’s begin with that first goal, establishing voice.

Jenna’s voice comes even in her hook, but her voice becomes even more vital as the essay goes ahead past the hook into the second paragraph. 

What defines a unique student voice in an admissions essay? It’s things like word choice, word repetition, and when the student writes more formally vs. more informally. 

Sometimes students writes using a formal SAT-word-strewn language in order to impress an admissions committee. On the contrary, ideally, using informal language can humanize the candidate and give the essay a voice. Here’s an example, from Jenna’s Hamilton essay:

Okay, okay. Musical theater can be hammy and campy. I should have learned to love history in school, right? But every year, my class began with the same old recitations about documents that seemed ancient. It wasn’t until I watched Eliza Hamilton rendered with such humanity onstage that I connected to what I later learned was called “historiography,” or how we write history .

Jenna’s voice easily blends the informal—phrases like “Okay, okay” and “right?”—with specific formal language—words like “rendered” and “historiography.” She displays a grasp of vocabulary without coming across as stiff or like a know-it-all.

Repetition can also be a good idea in structuring an essay and establishing voice. Let’s return to Rhea, our “well-lopsided” aspiring writer. One of her supplemental essays for Yale takes as its subject the realization that she uses the written word to understand herself and learn about her family history. The essay begins on a broad, personal note, with an organizing topic sentence in the second paragraph:

When I reflect on my life, everything ties back into the power of the written word.     

As the essay goes ahead, it opens up—Rhea links the personal importance of writing to something larger. Thi happens through repetition:

Words make me who I am. The terms of my grandparents told me how lucky I am to be growing up in America, instead of Nazi-occupied Poland or Stalinist Russia, like they did.

In both Jenna and Rhea’s essays, repetition and “opening up” to a larger topic are vital in establishing voice and great significance—both of which will help admissions committees gain a better sense of the students.

How to write Ivy League essay

Now that we’ve done a deep dive into structure—hook, voice, more considerable significance, takeaway—we’ll get into the nitty-gritty of what makes successful Ivy League essays not only structurally compelling but also fascinating and richly textured.

Tip 1: Mention lots of detail

Essays that are successful in the Ivy League stock often use very precise details to impress the essay. You should avoid cliché and generalizations as you write essay.

Let’s look back at Angela’s essay about her favorite teacher. Here’s how she presents him:

The rays beating onto his back seem to infuse him with an enthusiastic energy which he passes on to his drowsy students. The well-worn spine of The Brothers Karamazov is plopped in one open hand, complete with the ubiquitous highlighted passages and illegible margin notes. The other madly gesticulates.

Observe that Angela sets the scene here. We can see the teacher she’s describing: the sun rays, the tired high school students. Instead of saying “a book” she mentions a a specific title. She zooms in to show not just details, but telling details. 

We know that this is an lively and dedicated teacher from the description of his gesticulation and the description of the marginalia. Not only do these details tell us something about the teacher: by saying us what Angela see and admires about the teacher, we learn more about Angela. She’s the kind of  person who admires devotion to one’s work. 

Tip 2: Go with the a humble tone

Essays are not the place to brag. You are in the Ivy League pool, and the non-qualitative parts of the application—the Common App, the resume, etc.—will give the admissions committee idea about your accomplishments.

On the contrary, the essay is a good place to acknowledge faults, contradictions, and uncertainty.

Take Rhea. She writes: 

Words are the thread that ties me to the people and events around me. Words help me understand a universe that is at once united and divided. Words remind me that I am at once minusculeseesThese. Insignificant, and at the same time, an essential link in the chain of history.

In the last paragraph of the essay, Rhea ends by introspecting on her own insignificance, which can be a counterpart to an application geared to show an admissions committee how she stands out from the crowd. This ending suggests modesty, humility and perspective, as well as a contradiction. Writing is essential to her in part because she’s good at it, but also because it reminds her that the world is much bigger than herself.

Tip 3: Switch up your word choice

Simon and Jenna’s essays seldom repeat keywords—unless, as in Jenna’s, the repetition is helpful to establish voice. Don’t reach for formal words, but do try to use language that’s firm and particular.

Remember that, as former Princeton Dean of Admissions Janet Lavin Rapelye writes, your essay not only communicates something about you, but also should showcase your writing skills: “Your ability to write well is critical to our decision because your writing reflects your thinking. No matter what question is asked on a college application, admission officers see how well you convey your ideas and express yourself in writing. It is our window to your world .”

Tip 4: make your message simple and clear

You have to avoid bragging in these essays, but it’s essential that you are clear and confident in the subject matter and the message you’re conveying. We’ve touched on the “takeaways” as a practical structural element of a successful essay. It can also be helpful to pepper these “takeaways” throughout the essay.

Here’s an example line from Rhea’s essay: “ Words have whispered to me my whole life. They have been my comfort, my refuge, my outlet, my joy. ”

At first glance, this might seem like an generalization. But this clarity and communicates vital information to an admissions committee: this person is serious about their interests.

Tip 5: Add a title

In the full-length essays mentioned below, some successful essays have a title. This suggests that you have put extra effort into highlighting the essay’s central idea, and you consider it a complete, polished piece of writing.

Tip 6:  Try to read interesting people’s college essays

The students we’re highlighting in this post are great writers in part because they’ve been genuinely occupied with the narrative for many years. Check out a few essays by genuinely great writers. Not writers of college essays, but the great ones 

Try James Baldwin’s ‘ Letter from A Region in My Mind ’ or ‘Notes of a Native Son,’ Joan Didion’s ‘Goodbye to All That ’ or ‘ Notes from a Native Daughter ,’ Nora Ephron’s ‘ A Few Words About Breasts ,’  Annie Dillard’s ‘Total Eclipse,’ or any number of essays by David Foster Wallace, Zadie Smith, John McPhee, David Sedaris, Meghan Daum, Maggie Nelson, or Anne Fadiman.

Ivy League essay example

Check out successful college essay examples on our site.

Here’s Jenna’s essay on her favorite teacher:

Mr. Zachary’s Opus

“Uncertainty could be my guiding light.” – U2

“Do or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda.

“Life’s what you make it, so let’s make it rock.” – Hannah Montana.

An eclectic group of unrelated aphorisms? Not at all. I like to think of them as drops of inspirational “Zachary-isms” splashing the drab cinderblock walls with colorful insights. To call room 134 a “classroom” is an understatement. I prefer to think of it as a sanctuary where students are free to disagree, take risks, and derive their own sense of meaning.

Room 134? Hardly. It’s an extension of Mr. Zachary himself.

Each English class with “Zac Attack” is a unique experience. He sits on the windowsill digging his elbows into his knees, a panorama of hazy trees stretched behind him in the early morning sunlight. The rays beating onto his back seem to infuse him with an enthusiastic energy which he passes on to his drowsy students. The well-worn spine of Great Expectations is plopped in one open hand, complete with the ubiquitous highlighted passages and illegible margin notes. The other madly gesticulates through the air as he conveys the literary beauty of the passage he’s reading aloud to his awakening audience. He reads faster and faster, gradually increasing the intensity in his voice until suddenly he stops—catching us all by surprise with his silence. A smile spreads across his face as he watches the words he’s just spoken permeate our thawing brains. That is Mr. Zachary in his pure, unadulterated genius.

He finds subtle ways to sneak in references to his proud Irish-Catholic roots. One day, he recited all of Yeats’ “Second Coming” from memory. I could almost see the “widening gyre” behind his dancing eyes. Remarkably, he never intimidates with his boundless knowledge. To be honest, most of the ti, I forget he’s my teacher. I’m genuinely convinced Mr. Zachary is a kid stuck in an adult’s body. He’s the only teacher I know who will walk you to the cafeteria if a conversation spills over into the lunch period. He’s the only teacher I know who conducts class from a beach chair on Fridays. He the only teacher I know who has snappier wisecracks than the class clown. Mr. Zachary is half-Yeats, half-Bono—the perfect Irish combination of intellect with that classic “cool dude” persona.

His passion is contagious. Never before have I felt so liberated sitting in front of a blank computer screen. One of Mr. Zachary’s “inviolate rules” is to write for yourself, not for a grade. He’s taught me to catch the thoughts in my head and crystallize them on paper. He’s taught me to harness the therapeutic power of words flying across the page. He’s taught me to be unafraid of words—to love words. He’s helped me find the writer in myself. He’s a sage, a muse, a bard, a mentor, and a savant. More importantly, he’s my friend. 

No one totally figures how you out what the Ivy League wants. 

But here’s a summary of the strategies we’ve learned based on over a decade of working with successful Ivy League applicants. We’ve also mentioned the ways your begin outlining and prewriting for an Ivy League essay that impresses the admissions committee.

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Ivy League Essay Examples ​​​

Common App Essay Prompt #1

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

 “Whom do you look more like  – your mother or your father?” Many people who meet me ask that question, yet I had never given it much thought. It ended up becoming an inside joke with my dad that I was lucky I hadn’t inherited his large nose.

I understood why people were curious about what happens when very different people like my parents come together. My grandparents emigrated from Spain to raise my mom in Venezuela, and my dad is Norwegian, making me half Venezuelan and half Norwegian with a dual Spanish citizenship in the mix. I thought that was all there was to my background. Simple enough.

Things got complicated during high school. When asked about race on set after set of standardized tests, I filled only the Hispanic circle, because I’d always felt a pull towards the rich culture and language on my mom’s side. I grew up greedily listening in on my grandma’s phone calls to my mother in their rapid-fire Spanish and gorging myself on her paella during visits to Spain. 

Yet when various affinity groups at Andover warmly invited me to their discussions on ethnicity, I let the emails sit at the bottom of my inbox with a pang of guilt.  I imagined a sea of faces staring at me in those meetings, wondering what a girl with blonde Norwegian hair could possibly know about being Hispanic.

Then, I took a class in my junior year about Latin-American immigration. I’d never viewed my mother as an immigrant, except for her trademark accent that I’ve always prided myself on imitating. When I interviewed her for a paper, however, hearing her feelings forced me to reconsider my identity and the responsibilities it holds. All it took was one sentence: “What I regret most about being an immigrant is not doing a better job teaching my daughter my language and culture.” 

The guilt I once felt about being a Hispanic impostor was replaced with guilt for never considering the duty I owed my parents as a first-generation American to honor their sacrifices. I took for granted my materialization in the United States, giving no thought to the struggle my parents endured and the feelings of displacement they still feel. 

I don’t yet fully understand what being first-generation means. Maybe it’s watching my parents’ eyes light up as they connect to their families in Norwegian and Spanish. It’s receiving photo albums from my grandparents’ weathered hands that are portals to a very different life. It’s unwrapping a thick Norwegian sweater for Christmas and wearing it as I drag my cross-country skis up the hill behind my dad, imagining the 18 words to describe snow in Norwegian. It’s dancing merengue next to my mom and slipping into Spanglish mid-conversation. 

It also has a deeper significance. Certainly my love for singing in the shower, venturing onstage in coffeehouses, and always being the first on the dance floor comes from my Norwegian aunt who can play any song that’s requested on the piano. I owe my passion for tennis to my grandmother, who still sends me animated text messages when Nadal wins a match. Seeing my grandfather and my mother start companies in foreign countries sparked my own entrepreneurial spirit, inspiring me to start a nonprofit to help abused children I met in Costa Rica. My sociable personality must come from knowing firsthand that people who seem outwardly different can share many things in common. I attribute my newfound love of history to my interest in piecing together my family’s legacy.

This legacy gives me immense purpose to work my hardest while carrying on the cultures and values that have been cultivated inside our home. So with this, I’ll seek out the immigration stories of those around me, I’ll delve deeper into Spanish and maybe even Norwegian, and on the next standardized test, I’ll fill in two circles. I will do it proudly. 

Common App Essay Prompt #2

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure.  How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

The most rewarding experience of my life has likewise been the most frustrating one. It’s the one where I failed the most, cried the most, laughed the most, and questioned the most.  It all began with three words uttered on a neglected, dusty road of Costa Rica – “amigas por siempre?” 

As part of an 8th grade trip, I visited a safehouse in Limon where abused children are placed by the government. The kids flooded me with their stories: one 14 year old was pregnant from her uncle, a little boy was covered in scars from beatings. Their warm smiles and trusting hands masked their traumatic pasts. I promised one new friend, Idania, that I would return vowing that, yes, we would be “amigas por siempre.” Three summers and three visits later, after we had raised $30,000 that went towards constructing a learning center equipped with a bilingual library, educational games, and a computer lab, three more words stopped me in my tracks:  “she can’t read.” I was talking to our Costa Rican tour guide about Idania, stumbling over my words in Spanish as I laid out what this bilingual library would do for the kids. I expressed how it would give them hope for the future and how my friend, Idania, could become a doctor like she dreams – even though she currently can’t read. I was shocked and dismayed when the tour guide informed me that Idania’s severe dyslexia had forced her to drop out of school. 

I had believed I could save the children from a future of poverty, crime, and drugs. I thought that by building a gleaming learning center, the kids’ futures would be as bright as the pink butterflies we painted on the walls. The harsh reality was that I had failed not only the kids and the donors, but also the group of 30 people I brought down with my idealized dreams. That night, I curled up in my mattress shrouded by a mosquito net and cried. For the next few days, I was really bitter. I was bitter towards the people in my group who smiled and high-fived each other for “making a difference.” I was bitter towards another looming school year that would wedge thousands of miles and hours between the children and me.  I was bitter that Idania would soon age out of the home with nowhere to go.  On our last day together, we read for two hours, her fingers tracing each word as she read with increasing confidence. Turning the last page with a sigh of accomplishment, she hugged me, her eyes shining with tears. That was the last time I saw her, finding out in an email months later that she had run away. 

It was hard to return last summer and muster up the same enthusiasm.  I experienced a feeling of dismay as I searched the many unfamiliar faces as we pulled up to the safehouse, knowing I wouldn’t be greeted by Idania’s bright almond eyes. Yet I found comfort in the glistening eyes of the other kids, their arms reaching up for hugs, their quiet smiles expressing gratitude.  I knew I had to redirect my vision. I found and hired tutors and workshop leaders to work in the learning center, teaching vocational skills like jewelry making and nail painting, and educational courses including Rosetta Stone. Now, we employ three tutors and workshop leaders to give the kids the personal attention they deserve. Hopefully, these adults will become a lifeline for the children.  

On the last day of our trip last summer, we visited a woman who runs an independent home in Costa Rica’s capital and had singlehandedly raised 80 children over the past 20 years. As she told me how desperately she needed a space where she could help the kids do their homework and read, my heart filled with a longing to help. After returning back to the United States, I was able to secure a sizable grant to replicate the learning center in this stable home with an enthusiastic adult who yearned to see these children thrive.  I never would have had the chance to do this if I had not pushed past the disappointment of failure in order to return.

As I learn more and more about these children and how to best support them, I appreciate the importance and permanence of every moment, every interaction: sitting and listening to their stories as they braid my hair and fix their eyes on the ground, telling a mute twelve year old she’s beautiful and strong and important and really believing it, promising to return and keeping that promise, and truly meaning it when I say “amigas por siempre.”

​ Common App Prompt #5

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Exhilarating wind breaks against my six-year-old smile. The whole world hears my proud shout: “I’M SKATING!” Yet pride fades quickly to fear when I realize I don’t know how to stop.

Life is like that. I spent my early childhood years exploring, learning how to be a human and learning what being human meant. Once I learned, I started skating. I breezed through life without struggle. At first, this rush was intoxicating. Then I couldn’t stop. I blinked and found myself skating through life a decade later, burying grandparents and kissing girlfriends. I wanted to slow down—to go back even—but I didn’t know how. I sped toward adulthood, panic-stricken.

Removing my rollerblades would require a second grader’s hand and a trip back to the skating rink. I chanced upon this renaissance while working as a volunteer for a youth enrichment program. Seven-year-olds filed into our summer classroom—wasn’t I their age just yesterday? Among the crowd was Cameryn, a bouncy, giggling girl no different from her peers. Only a disability set her apart: Cameryn Cantrell was blind.

Immediately I became her guide. Together we made crafts, drew pictures, and laughed with the rest of the group. I wish I could say that her overarching normality inspired me instantly, but it did not. After my years of service to special needs children, this was nothing new. I was skating.

My automatonic procession stopped the day we went to Hot Wheels. As Cameryn chatted the bus ride away, I worried how we would pass our two hours at the skating arcade. My concerns were answered upon arrival when she declared her shoe size to the skate stocker. Fearless little Cameryn was about to brave the rink. I tied the wheels to her feet, took a breath, and led her into the arena.

Air tickled our faces as we picked up speed. Cameryn squeezed my hand tighter. “I’ve never gone this fast before!” Her voice betrayed no trace of fear; instead, she—in her omnipresent darkness—beamed a smile that radiated irresistible zeal. Butterflies rippled through my stomach. In that magical instant, my skates came off. Time regained its viscosity, and I felt alive again.

We traveled around the rink for another ninety minutes, but I don’t remember it this way. I remember that we skate hand-in-hand, forever. Our infinity marked a watershed in my growth; for although supervisors hailed me as a role model, I felt like Cameryn’s pupil. She had awakened me to the world as she saw it: through a lens of adventure.

With my new sight, ignored caves look like invitations, and forgotten forests have become my playgrounds. I’ve zip-lined through jungle canopies under the crackle of lightning and awed at nesting sea turtles on midnight trips to the beach. At school, I jumped into a theater class to live the fantasies of a dozen characters.

Such rediscovery is the hallmark of adulthood. Growing up means redefining our personhood and relearning our place in the world. Skating with Cameryn kindled within me a flame for new exploration that I strive to stoke each day. As long as that fire remains aglow, I can call myself an adult.

Common App Prompt #3

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea.  What prompted your thinking? What was the coutcome?

“...without courage, compassion falters, and without compassion, courage has no direction.” 

― Eric Greitens, The Heart and the Fist

I thought justice was as simple as two ends of a table.  I planned to administer justice as I sat in a somber room with walls covered by oak bookshelves, rows of yearbooks and anthologies bearing the weight of the past, air conditioning chilling my sweat, and an aura of gravity filling the air.  The massive oak table with its long, coursing grain, lit on two ends by weighty chandeliers, dominated my vision.  A high school freshman, I took the last seat on the far end of the table with the other members for my first hearing of the Discipline Council—four teachers and six students selected by the administration to recommend penalties for serious offenses. 

I looked out across a yawning gap of empty chairs separating me from the defendant seated on the opposite end, proud to represent the honor of my school and the courage to hold my peers accountable.  I wanted to reach down and raise up my offending classmate by allowing the school justice system to do its work. I pulled out my notepad as my classmate began to tell his side of the story.

Stone-faced and jotting down notes, I listened as the defendant narrated his account of a relatively cut-and-dry plagiarism case. As he finished, he did something that shocked me, conflicting with the stoic culture of an all-boys’ school: he cried.  While stories of boys crying to escape punishment abound, his tears rang true, running with sincerity and anguish, tugging my heart so hard that I toppled off my moral high ground.  He was no longer the offender, but Jim (name changed) who I worked with in English and Biology classes.  Compassion and empathy ripped apart my once scientific approach to justice.

Disconcerted, I wondered how I could ever pass a judgment on Jim’s case as he left the room and deliberations began.  Jim’s tears had disabused me of my black and white view of the Discipline Council.  I no longer sat on the side of the right, judging the side of the wrong. I had tumbled into the ambiguous chasm between the two, torn between the unrelenting forces of courage to fulfill my duty as a Discipline Council member and compassion for Jim.  On the verge of tears, I sat pitifully while the other members discussed mitigating and aggravating factors, wondering why I had originally felt so honored. 

I finally worked up enough courage to suggest that Jim’s clear penitence merited a reduced penalty.  I expected to be shot down,  but instead saw nodding heads.  I turned to Dr. Stegomoeller, the faculty sponsor of the Discipline Council, and saw emotion in his eyes, realizing that he not only thought about justice, but he also felt compassion.  A glance around at the other faculty members and upperclassmen revealed that they too were conflicted.  The deliberations were a collective effort to resolve that conflict, to find the balance between compassion and courageous duty.  As we unanimously agreed on our recommended penalty, a two day suspension, the mood in the room felt like that of the swim team after a draining practice; the last hour was tiring but worth it.  Forging through that inner struggle made me certain that I had made the right decision about the penalty.

The light bulb finally clicked.  The conflict between compassion and the courage to hold my peers accountable was tortuous and tangled, but essential, because without that struggle neither virtue would have direction, and I would be truly lost. That afternoon in the Discipline Council taught me that as much as I wish for simple black and white choices, most decisions take place in the murky zone between virtue and vice as I am tugged in every direction by conflicting values and emotions. I embrace that uncertainty, however, knowing that I will find a balance far more beautiful than any two-dimensional choice could possibly offer.

Common App Prompt #1

Nobody cares down here. The asphyxiating world above soars from view as I descend below into the water. Distinctions and inequalities wither away as the gorgonian sea fans grow denser, limiting the streaks of sunlight that still manage to penetrate this deep. Marine colours fade, along with human discrimination. It is still possible to discern the surface – the silhouette above of a green sea turtle navigating the waves – but nobody bothers to look up, to look back. Eighty feet from a dependable source of oxygen we are each other’s lifelines, and all we have to communicate with is our hands. No words are uttered – no words can be uttered. The sound of my regulator hissing and gurgling fades to a gentle murmur, then nothing. There’s absolute silence. What initially seems terrifying, what seems absurd, could not have been more beautifully engineered. Scuba diving is a refuge from the culture clash that shadows me: down here I am the same as everybody else.

But when I surface, I am a riddle no one can solve. I am neither British nor American but an amalgam of the two. The last eight years of my life have been spent in Massachusetts, yet when I open my mouth I am indistinguishable from any British teenager.

Every day without exception my nationality is acknowledged. A boy who has held a mere four conversations with me since freshman year, all of which were compulsory in one way or another, asks me if I woke up at 4 o’clock this morning to catch the Royal Wedding; my sophomore year World History teacher glances in my direction, requesting a tacit confirmation of the accuracy of her details regarding the religious beliefs of Mary I and Edward VI; my reaction of “Ouch! That really hurt” to a friend who parks her chair leg on my foot in the library three years ago results in a tableful of laughing girls, mesmerized by my unintentional rendition of the YouTube sensation “Charlie bit my finger.” I hesitate, perplexed as to why I’ve been singled out. Now, a little wiser, I pause in frustration, hoping for this attention to be some type of joke. It never is.

Most revel in my English accent. Sooner than later I assume the disguise of a magician, my trick being effortlessly simple, yet consistently engaging. In my repertoire: ‘dodgy’, ‘wonky’, ‘bloody hell’, ‘loo’, ‘rubbish’ – just to name a few. I once naively exposed the act to a nagging friend and now it’s a full-time show. I am a full-time show.

I am not a proficient riddle-teller. I don’t even know the solution to my own riddle. I am divided between two linguistic cultures, waiting for time to tell me which one to call home. Underwater I can escape: I can be myself without managing to perplex others. The silence of the deep lures me while I wait.

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Susan Alaimo holds a Master's Degree from Columbia University and has helped hundreds of students to gain acceptance to the most prestigious colleges and universities. 

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The Personal Statement: The Holy Grail of College Admissions

By Eric Eng

The college application essays or personal statements are the most important part of the college admissions process.

There are tens of thousands of high achieving students with 4.0 GPA’s, 1600 SAT scores, strong leadership and community service activities, and awards from regional and national competitions to boast.

But there’s only a limited number of spots.

What do you think separates one student from another, especially at the highest echelon?

We’ll give the answer – it’s no secret. It’s the personal statement – without a doubt.

As Ivy League admissions consultants with one of the highest track records of getting students in, we have to say the essay is what separates candidates apart . It’s what distinguishes you from the tens of thousands of students out there with 4.0 GPA’s, 1600 SAT scores, Student Body President, USAMO Qualifiers, and the list goes on and on.

We will begin by stating that the personal statement that you write will be highly dependent on who you are as a person and your background – including your ethnicity, demographics, socioeconomic background, extracurricular involvement, and even your gender.

At AdmissionSight, we take all of this into account when we work with our students to help draft a powerful personal statement.

In the admissions ball game, you are only as good as you are on paper. Although you may have spent hours on a particular activity in high school, if you do not capture that in the application in a meaningful manner, then you have done nothing in the admission officer’s eyes. And that means writing stellar personal statements and college application essays.

Remember the admissions officers never visit nor see you. All they get is the electronic pdf or 12 page printout that is your college application. Sure, you might argue there is the interview – but that accounts for a small portion of the admissions process and is typically done by alumni of the school – not the admissions officers themselves.

So why do these amazing, well-qualified people still get rejected every year? Because they didn’t know how to write their personal statement.

Whether you get accepted or not really depends on how you present yourself in the application. All the blood, sweat, and tears that you put into your extracurricular and leadership activities are meaningless if you don’t know how to capture how your experiences shaped you in the personal statement, or the college application, in a meaningful manner.

Too many applicants underestimate the importance of the essays and don’t put enough time to get them to a level of quality that would give them a chance at getting in. While the personal statement in no ways guarantees you that acceptance letter, it is an important factor in the puzzle that is college admissions, especially if your raw academic and extracurricular profile is on the weaker side.

Every year, we have students who have both strong profile and also a compelling personal statement to captivate the admissions officers. To us, it’s a no-brainer, and precisely why 75% of our students on average are admitted to an Ivy League school.

Getting into an Ivy League college depends on how well you craft together that college application and demonstrate those personal qualities, leadership, and contribution to your community through the personal statement. Keep in mind that in addition to the 650 main essay, there are many 250–300 word short answer essays as well as longer 650 word supplemental essays for each school.

Given how competitive it is, the essays will be your opportunity to demonstrate your voice and reflect your passions. Ensuring that those essays form a powerful picture that represents the applicants personal qualities is the holy grail of college admissions.

We’ve seen students with perfect 1600 (or 2400) SAT scores and 4.0 GPA’s get turned down by the the Ivies. We’ve also helped and worked with lower achieving students with 1800 (out of 2400) SAT scores and 3.3 GPA get accepted into an Ivy League.

In fact, we’ve always said the weakest student we’ve ever helped get into an Ivy League had a 3.3 unweighted GPA and 1180 on the SAT’s. Yes, you heard us right – and he was Asian American too – no hooks, no legacies, no NCAA athlete, nor URM.

Of course, getting tip top grades, strong SAT, SAT Subject, and AP test scores, and strong leadership and extracurricular activities help significantly with the process. In this day and age, getting those are almost required and a minimum threshold to get in. Pursue activities that you’re passionate about and demonstrate your well-roundedness and focus – we’ve all heard that over and over again. But you didn’t need us to tell you that, did you?

There are literally tens of thousands of students with perfect 4.0 GPA’s, 1550+ SAT scores, National Merit Semifinalists, National AP Scholars, and the list goes on. These exams are no longer “enough” to differentiate one student from another given so many students boast these stats. The personal statement is the one differentiating factor that separates the 1600 SAT, 4.0 GPA student from the one who has a 1580 SAT and 3.9 GPA at the same high school.

These stats are no longer “good enough” to differentiate one candidate from another – rather, they are typical scores and grades that the Ivy Leagues expect you to get. The biggest mistake that students make is not taking their application seriously enough. This tends to happen with overachievers, who believe that their grades, test scores, and even national academic awards are enough to get them in .

But does a high school student know how to write a solid essay? Honestly, it’s difficult for an 18 year old high school senior to have experienced anything dramatic in their lives. Not that it doesn’t happen, but more often than not the little neurons in your brain as a minor are barely connecting the dots to understand what is really happening out there in the real world within the confines of your household room and school.

In fact, we’d argue the formative years of personal growth happen to be in college, or getting that first job, that moment when you lead your own independent life away from safety net of your parents’ guidance and care. That first time you step out to the real world and think to yourself, “Now what?”

But you are challenged to write a thoughtful, and often times compelling and important college application essay that is supposed to demonstrate the gravity of your experiences –  in high school. And that certainly makes the task challenging.

If you’d like to get feedback from others, you might want to ask your friends and family – we’re sure they’re more than happy to take a look. But don’t expect expert feedback, and be prepared to get multiple different opinions and perspectives. It’s said that when you ask 10 people for their opinion on their essay, you’ll get 10 different opinions. And you only have one shot to do stand out from the thousands of applicants out there.

But as one of the top college admissions consulting companies in the country, we break down essays into a digestible, logical manner that is not only convincingly accurate, but time tested and highly effective. By the time we’re through, you’ll be convinced of the fundamentals of what makes good writing and what makes bad writing. Why Steven King and Michael Crighton continue to be the #1 New York Times seller on every bookshelf year after year, while the rest flounder.

How do you juxtapose the two dichotomies of “being true to yourself” while writing something fresh and different to “entertain the admissions officers”? Admissions officers will be reading thousands of essays about community service, or about sick relatives, or about the immigrant story.

What you write about is certainly important. There are topics that we absolutely have my students avoid because it would significantly diminish their odds of acceptance. It’s a big part of our strategy when we consult with our students.

But how you write and the depth of your writing is just as important as what you write.

We’ve seen situations where high school students will write about their laundry list of accomplishments. Writing highly linear essays. Not showing their voice or personality into the essays. Or even being too creative  with their essay to a point where it detracts from the overall message they’re trying to deliver.

Let us give you a concrete example:

“In sophomore year of high school, I aimed to establish the Neuroscience club to help afflicted children within my community. I was motivated because of my grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at a very young age, which led to his debilitating illness.”

This is the type of sentence that 95% of students out there write. It’s blatantly  very average writing that simply won’t distinguish you from the pack. There’s a reason why Stephen King is the #1 New York Times bestseller year after year, or why Michael Crighton is one of the top sci-fi thrillers of all time. Their style of writing elicits a particular emotion in the reader that sends a shiver down their spine and makes them think twice. And if you can accomplish that, then you’ve got a shot at getting in.

For example, we worked with a student who wrote about her volunteering activity last year. And she was admitted to both Yale and Princeton . And you might certainly say there are thousands, if not tens of thousands, of community service activity essays every year. But there are so many interesting twists and turns you can take with the essay – and it revealed not only the depth of the candidate’s experiences, but how it shaped her perspective and her approach to the world around her. It was deep and insightful, compelling and powerful.

And no, it wasn’t a sob, pitiful story about how affected she was by meeting a homeless man, and how it inspired her to help her community. But it was most certainly one of the top essays on community service submitted to the college admissions application cycle last year. After all, she landed a spot at both Yale and Princeton with only 3 AP scores on her application record.

At AdmissionSight, we’ve personally read and edited thousands of essays, and we can definitely say without a doubt that a good essay could open up the floodgates of acceptance letters , and a poor one would could keep you out.

There’s so many ways to write a college application essay – from the highly creative essays that really showcase a candidate’s lively personality to the intellectual curiosity essay that demonstrates an applicant’s voracious consumption of knowledge, to essays about travel, culture, or a personal influence.

There are myriads of ways to write these essays, and different topics that you can choose to write. And that will depend on everything from your extracurricular involvement to your personal experiences to your demographic.

Everything from the topic to how you write the essay to how it ties into your personal background matters.  How you write the essay is just as important as what you write. At AdmissionSight, we take all of this into consideration before recommending a topic that you would be happy with and also increase your odds of acceptance.

Some students love writing super creative essays. The more creative your essay, the riskier gamble you take – but sometimes that risky gamble could have a huge payoff at the end.

If you are to write a super creative essay, context is key and it could certainly be a double-edged sword. More times than not, we find that students who try to write a creative essay end up writing an essay that is so creative that it neglects the foundations of a college application essay and fails to show the applicant in a positive light. So if you do take this path, remember that there are pros and cons to crafting a statement that raises eyebrows.

We still believe the best essays are ones that really shows the level of introspection of a candidate – the essays that show how a candidate thinks  and approaches the world around him/her, and shaped often times by a simple but powerful experience that captures the depth of the candidate’s perspective.

Writing is an art, no doubt. But like all intellectual pursuits, there’s a foundation – the fundamental building blocks – that makes words come to life. It’s with that tactical approach and Socratic method that we peel open a piece of writing and make it incredibly powerful – enough to win the hearts of the admissions officers.

The one chance for Ivy League admissions officers to understand you on a personal level that you have control over is the personal statements. That’s why we always emphasize the importance of the personal statements to demonstrate and showcase that level of introspection and how you think about and approach the world around you. What are your beliefs, convictions, and values that you’d like the admissions officers to know about you? How did a particular experience shape your perspective?

By showcasing that inner voice that is identifiable to you, you will have the chance to stand out among the highly competitive candidates who may be stronger based on their raw academic and extracurricular profile, but not necessarily as an applicant. The strength of your application depends highly on the soft factors that admissions officers want to see.

We’ve said that what’s more important in an essay is to demonstrate a precocious level of maturity. The essays should build substance behind a student’s academic potential, extracurricular involvement, or personal experiences. We’d be impressed as an admissions officer if the student can think like an adult, and understand the issues at play in our society.

And if you can exhibit that level of maturity (as well as humility), we believe you can make a strong case for your admission. So yes, do pursue your passions and your interests, and work as hard as you can during your four years of high school. Just remember to capture and express all of your personal qualities in the college application itself, and write a genuine, palpable personal statement that helps the admissions officers understand the qualities that define you.

Most of the time we can tell right away if a student will get accepted or rejected based on the essays alone.

Admissions officers spend very little time (less than 15 minutes) on each individual application to get through the entire pile. This also mean every word in your application must count, and making key terms and words stand out is very important, especially since these admissions readers skim through your parts of your application very quickly.

The process works as follows:   there are two readers who read the applications. It takes two readers to mark “accept” in order to admit the applicant. But if the first reader marks “accept,” and the second reader marks “reject,” then it goes to a third reader who determines whether to accept or reject the candidate.

We can’t tell you how many students every year tend to neglect the importance of these essays. If we were to give it a true weighting, we’d assign 50% of the admissions decision to the common app essay and recommendation letters, 25% to academics, 25% to extracurriculars.

But this number can change drastically when the admissions committee is making decisions where nearly every strong applicant has perfect 4.0’s and top of the line 1550-1600 SAT scores.

In fact, we will bet that a student with a lower score, say 1300 SAT and 3.8 GPA with a stellar application and well written personal statement has a better shot than the 1600 SAT student with a poorly written personal statement at getting into the Ivy League.

Princeton states every year that if they could fill their entire class with valedictorians or 1600 SAT score students, they could do so easily. At the end of the day, a strong student with high academic and extracurricular stats is only just that – another profile on paper to the admissions committee.

That paper ultimately comes to life through the common app essays – who this candidate is, the applicant’s level of introspection and critical thinking, and the values and experiences that shape the applicant’s perspective. And sometimes, the admissions committee is even willing to overlook a student with low GPA/test scores if they can understand how that applicant thinks on a deeper level.

A college essay is your chance to share with the admissions officers how you think and approach the world around you. They’re not so much interested in what you’ve accomplished or achieved as much as they are about how you think. That’s the key component here. If you can give them a portal in how you process information and view the world around you, and how your experiences shape your perspective, then you’ll have written a memorable personal statement.

We’ve had students write essays about eating beef noodle soup to driving through an Inn and Out and their interaction with the cashier person. We’ve also seen and read essays about a student’s attempt to cure Alzheimer’s and desire to make the world a better place through UNICEF.

It’s the perspectives and personal insights that you bring that make an essay stand out; not what you’ve done or achieved. Show us a portal into your mind and how it works and how it reflects – we want to see that inner thinker in you. And if you can do that, then you’ve got a shot at getting in.

There are certainly many pitfalls that we’ve seen students make. Some will write an essay that ends up being a laundry list of their accomplishments.

Others will write an essay that simply doesn’t let them stand out.

The Ivy Leagues are looking for critical thinkers, and the essay needs to show your level of introspection and how you think about and approach the world around you – and how a particular experience shaped your perspective. This is key.

That’s what your personal statement should be – creative yet humble, one with flair yet introspective, and one that is deeply personal yet enables your personality to surface.

And if you can achieve that, you’ve got a winning personal statement – and a shot at the Ivy League.

So how can you get into the Ivy League?

Craft together a well thought out college application and personal statement that reflects the qualities that define you. Because at the end of the day, the bitter truth is that admissions to Ivy League schools is highly dependent on how well you present yourself on paper and draft your personal statement.

Want to assess your chances of admission? Take our FREE chances calculator today!

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Ivy League Grad School Statement of Purpose Examples

Featured Expert: Dr. Charlene Hoi, PhD

Writing and submitting an Ivy League grad school statement of purpose is one of the many steps you need to enter a graduate level programa near-universal requirement. Regardless of whether you decide to pursue a Master’s or PhD, a statement of purpose is often the first piece of written work that many programs ask for along with a graduate school resume or a graduate school cover letter . This article will look at specific graduate programs offered by Ivy League schools, such as Harvard University, Stanford University and Princeton University, and give you Ivy League statement of purpose examples written specifically for that program, along with other tips to help your application stand out. 

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1. harvard university graduate school statement of purpose example.

Department of Anthropology

The Department of Anthropology at the Harvard Kenneth C. Griffin Graduate School of Arts and Sciences (GSAS) offers three graduate degrees (two PhDs; one Masters) to graduates who want to pursue a specialization in the cultural and intellectual significance of various eras of human existence, while also imparting graduates with various opportunities to apply their considerable research and analytical skills. Applicants do not have to have a background in anthropology, and this program also does not require graduates take the GRE or GMAT tests, which is usually one of the required steps of how to get into Ivy League colleges.

The Master’s degree is in Medical Anthropology so graduates will have full access to all of Harvard’s many schools and resources, such as Harvard Medical School , and the School of Public Health. The other degree programs have available to them all of the school’s various research centers from the David Rockefeller Center for Latin American Studies to the Korea Institute and even Harvard Law School .

The Department of Anthropology is also clear about what it is looking for in applicant’s statement of purpose saying the letter must, “demonstrate a geographic, cultural region and/or a particular topical or theoretical interest in anthropology”. It also emphasizes the importance of an applicant’s facility with any language associated with that region or area. Students do not have to write or submit a Harvard graduate school personal statement either; only a maximum 20-page long academic work, along with the statement of purpose.

Department of Classics – PhD

Yale University has a different approach to the statement of purpose. The school has close to 75 different graduate programs (Master’s and PhD), along with the various programs offered by the professional schools such as Yale Law School and Yale Medical School, but it uses a centralized application system, and its graduate application requirements and process are nearly the same for every program (there are exceptions).

The first thing that Yale mentions about applying to the Yale graduate school is the statement of purpose. It also has a universal prompt that all applicants to any graduate program at Yale must answer with an essay between 500 and 1000 words. The prompt is the same for all programs, except biology and biomedical sciences, which have their own prompt. However, depending on your chosen program, this statement of purpose may not be the only written piece you need, so it is possible that you may need to write a Yale graduate school personal statement, or some other kind of Yale supplemental essay for your particular program.

The Yale graduate school statement of academic purpose prompt is:

Please upload a statement of 500-1,000 words explaining why you are applying to Yale for graduate study. Describe your research interests and preparation for your intended field(s) of study, including prior research and other relevant experiences. Explain how the faculty, research, and resources at Yale would contribute to your future goals.

Ivy League Statement of Purpose Example #2

My introduction to Herakles was a Disney cartoon. I imagine many people were first introduced to him in a similar way, but this character, this myth has been introducing himself to a variety of disparate audiences over the millennia since he first entered the canon. In the vast tapestry of world mythology, few figures have traversed cultural boundaries as significantly as Herakles. From his origins in Greek mythology to his unexpected transformations as the protector of the Buddha in Eastern religions and eventually as the Shukongoshin in Japan, the evolution of Herakles serves as a testament to the enduring power of cross-cultural influences.

I am deeply fascinated by this interplay between Greek and Eastern mythologies, and it is my desire to explore this captivating phenomenon during my graduate studies. Yale, renowned for its storied Classics department, is the ideal institution for me to investigate and unravel the intricate connections between these diverse cultural narratives. During my undergraduate and graduate studies at Harvard, I pursued a multidisciplinary academic path that laid a solid foundation for my intended field of study.

Aside from my course work and academic pursuits, I also pursued extracurricular experiences to enrich my overall knowledge of the period. Before entering the Master’s program, I undertook a summer research internship at the Harvard Art Museums, where I assisted in curating an exhibition on the artistic representations of Herakles across different cultures and time periods. This experience exposed me to a wide range of artistic mediums and iconographic variations of Herakles, providing valuable insights into the ways in which ancient mythological figures were adapted and reinterpreted in diverse cultural contexts.

Moreover, during my Master’s I took advantage of Harvard's extensive language programs to enhance my linguistic abilities. I studied Ancient Greek and Sanskrit, as well as modern languages such as Mandarin and Japanese. These language studies not only facilitated my engagement with primary sources but also strengthened my ability to analyze and interpret cultural texts within their original linguistic frameworks.

I also actively sought research opportunities to further explore my academic interests. Under the guidance of Professor Rachel Schmidt, a renowned expert in comparative mythology, I conducted an independent research project on the cross-cultural transmission of mythological motifs between ancient Greece and India. This project allowed me to examine the similarities and divergences in the narratives of gods, heroes, and mythical creatures, tracing the enduring legacies of Greek mythology in the East.

Building on my previous graduate experiences, my research interests have solidified around the evolution of Herakles and the cross-cultural influences between Greek and Eastern mythologies. I am particularly intrigued by the ways in which mythological narratives adapt, transform, and find resonance in new cultural and religious contexts. My intended field of study at the graduate level will focus on examining the intricate connections and cultural interactions that shaped the evolution of Herakles and exploring the broader implications of cross-cultural mythological transmissions.

At Yale, I aim to further develop my research skills and theoretical understanding through advanced coursework and the investigative foundation laid by scholars such as Professor Mark Unno, whose seminal scholarly article "Hercules in East Asia: The Buddhist-Shinto Symbiosis and the Development of Shukongoshin" examines the transformation of Herakles into the Shukogoshin and explores the religious syncretism and cultural exchange involved in this process. Building upon Professor Unno's research, I intend to delve deeper into the cross-cultural influences and implications of the Herakles myth, expanding the discourse on the intersections of Greek and Eastern mythologies.

One faculty member at Yale who aligns closely with my research interests is Professor Milette Gaifman, an esteemed classicist and art historian. Her expertise in ancient visual culture, iconography, and the intersection of mythology and art makes her a valuable mentor for my intended field of study. Professor Gaifman's work on the visual representation of mythological narratives in ancient art provides critical insights into the cultural transmission and adaptation of mythological figures.

Her book, "Aniconism in Greek Antiquity," delves into the absence of certain divine figures in ancient Greek art and the role of aniconism in shaping religious and cultural practices. This resonates with my research focus on the evolution of Herakles and the ways in which the hero's image and symbolism were transformed across different cultures and artistic traditions. My passion for understanding the interplay between Greek and Eastern mythologies, exemplified by the evolution of Herakles, fuels my academic aspirations. Yale's distinguished Classics department, with its rich scholarly tradition and comprehensive study of ancient cultures, offers an ideal environment for me to undertake this interdisciplinary investigation.

Economics – PhD

Princeton follows a similar path to Yale when it comes to graduate school applications. The school makes all applicants to its graduate school write a maximum 1000-word Ivy League statement of purpose examining their reasons for applying, but also answering questions such as “ why do you want to do a PhD? ” and any future goals they may have. The statement of interest is a required part of how to get into grad school at Princeton along with submitting a research resume, transcripts, three grad school letters of recommendation, and any other written work required by an applicant’s specific program.

However, one difference is that Princeton does not have a standard prompt for all applicants. But it does provide points on what an applicant should strive to mention in their statement of purpose, which are:

• Plans: Highlight current academic and future career plans as they relate to the Princeton degree program to which you are applying
• Experience: Include relevant academic, professional, and personal experiences that influenced the decision to apply for graduate admission and obtain a graduate degree.
• Goals: Outline the goals for graduate study.

Ivy League Statement of Purpose Example #3

Witnessing the hardships the financial crisis inflicted on my family, and other individuals and communities fueled my determination to study economics and contribute to preventing such crises in the future. In my pursuit of knowledge and understanding, I am compelled to explore the potential of a universal, centralized currency as a means to prevent future financial crises and promote economic stability, given that the other front of my investigative journey is the emergence and impact of cryptocurrencies, which have challenged traditional notions of currency and monetary systems.

Drawing on the works of Princeton faculty members such as Professor Alan S. Blinder, whose expertise lies in monetary policy and financial institutions, and Professor Markus K. Brunnermeier, renowned for his research on financial stability and systemic risk, I aim to explore the concept of a centralized global currency as a potential solution to these challenges.

The idea of a centralized global currency, akin to the Euro, holds promise for fostering economic integration, facilitating international trade, and mitigating currency-related risks. By leveraging advancements in technology, such as blockchain and distributed ledger systems, a centralized global currency could provide a secure and efficient medium of exchange across borders. This novel approach would seek to address the shortcomings of existing cryptocurrencies while retaining the benefits of transparency, immutability, and transactional speed.

Building on the strong foundation laid during my undergraduate years, and with the seed of this research only germinating in my mind, I pursued a Master's degree in Economics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT). At MIT, I had the privilege of learning from distinguished economists and researchers, including Professor Janet Yellen and Professor Esther Duflo. Their expertise in monetary economics and development economics inspired me to delve deeper into these areas and explore their implications for real-world challenges.

While at MIT, I realized I needed more exposure to the machinations of global-level policymaking, so I applied for and secured an internship at the International Monetary Fund (IMF) during my graduate studies. At the IMF, I worked alongside esteemed economists and researchers, delving into policy analysis and gaining a deeper understanding of the global financial landscape. Specifically, I focused on studying currency markets and their implications for financial stability and economic development.

During my time at the IMF, I had the opportunity to contribute to a policy paper titled "Digital Currencies and Financial Stability: A Comparative Analysis." This paper examined the potential risks and benefits of digital currencies and their impact on financial markets and stability. By conducting in-depth research, analyzing data, and collaborating with experts in the field, I gained valuable insights into the complexities surrounding decentralized cryptocurrencies and their implications for the global financial system.

Now, as I contemplate pursuing my doctoral studies at Princeton University, I am drawn to the institution's exceptional reputation in the field of economics and its commitment to interdisciplinary research. The opportunity to work alongside distinguished faculty members such as Professor Mark Watson and Professor Christina Paxson, whose expertise aligns closely with my research interests, is truly inspiring. Additionally, Princeton is renowned for its comprehensive research infrastructure and interdisciplinary approach, offers the ideal platform to undertake this critical research.

The goal of an Ivy League statement of purpose is to demonstrate to the admissions committee of your particular program how you have prepared for undertaking this research and how you plan to use the resources of the particular school to help you. It is also a way for admissions committee to measure your writing and communication skills. 

You should stick to the particular word count stated by the school or program. If they do not give you a word count, try to keep your statement to a maximum of 500 words. 

You should write out multiple drafts of your Ivy League statement of purpose, and brainstorm various ideas. Then you can cut down your statement and organize it in a way that tells a coherent narrative. But even before you begin brainstorming, read over the individual requirements of each program to make sure you answer the question or cover the areas they require. 

You can follow the above samples for an example of how to structure your Ivy League statement of purpose, but some of the above samples were responses to specific prompts. The order and structure of your statement of purpose is something you can decide on your own, but make sure to review and rewrite, if necessary, especially if the narrative is disjointed and confusing. 

Thankfully, many of the above prompts are clear about what to include in your Ivy League statement of purpose, such as your academic background, why you are interested in your subject, what you have done to demonstrate this commitment, and, most importantly, how the school can aid you in your pursuits. 

You should always adhere to the guidelines given by your specific school. But, in general, you do not want to go over the stated word limit or mention anything that is unrelated to your studies and research interests. 

You should read and re-read your Ivy League statement of purpose before submitting it and let colleagues or professors review it to make sure that it is outstanding. 

Make sure to stick to the prompt or question given by the school, and stick to the word count. But also make sure to tell a good story. Meaning, if you want to mention failures and setbacks, do so, but within the context of showing how you overcame these obstacles and emerged a more passionate learner. 

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25 Elite Common App Essay Examples (And Why They Worked)

Applying to competitive colleges? You'll need to have a stand-out Common App essay.

In this article, I'm going to share with you:

• 25 outstanding Common App essay examples
• Links to tons of personal statement examples
• Why these Common App essays worked

If you're looking for outstanding Common App essay examples, you've found the right place.

If you're applying to colleges in 2024, you're going to write some form of a Common App essay.

Writing a great Common App personal essay is key if you want to maximize your chances of getting admitted.

Whether you're a student working on your Common App essay, or a parent wondering what it takes, this article will help you master the Common App Essay.

What are the Common App Essay Prompts for 2024?

There are seven prompts for the Common App essay. Remember that the prompts are simply to help get you started thinking.

You don't have to answer any of the prompts if you don't want (see prompt #7 ).

Here's the seven Common App essay questions for 2022, which are the same as previous years:

• Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
• The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
• Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
• Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
• Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
• Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
• Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

The last prompt is a catch-all prompt, which means you can submit an essay on any topic you want.

Use the Common App prompts as brainstorming questions and to get you thinking.

But ultimately, you should write about any topic you meaningfully care about.

What makes an outstanding Common App personal essay?

I've read thousands of Common App essays from highly motivated students over the past years.

And if I had to choose the top 2 things that makes for incredible Common App essays it's these:

1. Being Genuine

Sounds simple enough. But it's something that is incredibly rare in admissions.

Authenticity is something we all know when we see it, but can be hard to define.

Instead of focus on what you think sounds the best to admissions officers, focus on what you have to say—what interests you.

2. Having Unique Ideas

The best ideas come about while you're writing.

You can't just sit down and say, "I'll think really hard of good essay ideas."

I wish that worked, but it sadly doesn't. And neither do most brainstorming questions.

The ideas you come up with from these surface-level tactics are cheap, because no effort was put in.

As they say,

"Writing is thinking"

By choosing a general topic (e.g. my leadership experience in choir) and writing on it, you'll naturally come to ideas.

As you write, continue asking yourself questions that make you reflect.

It is more of an artistic process than technical one, so you'll have to feel what ideas are most interesting.

25 Common App Essay Examples from Top Schools

With that, here's 25 examples as Common App essay inspiration to get you started.

These examples aren't perfect—nor should you expect yours to be—but they are stand-out essays.

I've handpicked these examples of personal statements from admitted students because they showcase a variety of topics and writing levels.

These students got into top schools and Ivy League colleges in recent years:

Table of Contents

• 1. Seeds of Immigration
• 2. Color Guard
• 3. Big Eater
• 4. Love for Medicine
• 5. Cultural Confusion
• 6. Football Manager
• 9. Mountaineering
• 10. Boarding School
• 11. My Father
• 12. DMV Trials
• 13. Ice Cream Fridays
• 14. Key to Happiness
• 15. Discovering Passion
• 16. Girl Things
• 17. Robotics
• 18. Lab Research
• 19. Carioca Dance
• 20. Chinese Language
• 21. Kiki's Delivery Service
• 22. Museum of Life
• 23. French Horn
• 24. Dear My Younger Self
• 25. Monopoly

Common App Essay Example #1: Seeds of Immigration

This student was admitted to Dartmouth College . In this Common App essay, they discuss their immigrant family background that motivates them.

Although family is a commonly used topic, this student makes sure to have unique ideas and write in a genuine way.

Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

I placed three tiny seeds, imagining the corn stalk growing while the pumpkin vines wrapped around it; both sprouting, trying to bear fruit. I clenched a fistful of dirt and placed it on them. “Más,” my grandpa told me as he quickly flooded the seeds with life-giving dirt.

Covered. Completely trapped.

Why This Essay Works:

Everyone has a unique family history and story, and often that can make for a strong central theme of a personal statement. In this essay, the student does a great job of sharing aspects of his family's culture by using specific Spanish words like "yunta" and by describing their unique immigration story. Regardless of your background, sharing your culture and what it means to you can be a powerful tool for reflection.

This student focuses on reflecting on what their culture and immigrant background means to them. By focusing on what something represents, rather than just what it literally is, you can connect to more interesting ideas. This essay uses the metaphor of their family's history as farmers to connect to their own motivation for succeeding in life.

This essay has an overall tone of immense gratitude, by recognizing the hard work that this student's family has put in to afford them certain opportunities. By recognizing the efforts of others in your life—especially efforts which benefit you—you can create a powerful sense of gratitude. Showing gratitude is effective because it implies that you'll take full advantage of future opportunities (such as college) and not take them for granted. This student also demonstrates a mature worldview, by recognizing the difficulty in their family's past and how things easily could have turned out differently for this student.

This essay uses three moments of short, one-sentence long paragraphs. These moments create emphasis and are more impactful because they standalone. In general, paragraph breaks are your friend and you should use them liberally because they help keep the reader engaged. Long, dense paragraphs are easy to gloss over and ideas can lose focus within them. By using a variety of shorter and longer paragraphs (as well as shorter and longer sentences) you can create moments of emphasis and a more interesting structure.

What They Might Improve:

This conclusion is somewhat off-putting because it focuses on "other students" rather than the author themself. By saying it "fills me with pride" for having achieved without the same advantages, it could create the tone of "I'm better than those other students" which is distasteful. In general, avoid putting down others (unless they egregiously deserve it) and even subtle phrasings that imply you're better than others could create a negative tone. Always approach your writing with an attitude of optimism, understanding, and err on the side of positivity.

Common App Essay Example #2: Color Guard

This student was admitted to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill . Check out their Common App essay that focuses on an extracurricular:

Sweaty from the hot lights, the feeling of nervousness and excitement return as I take my place on the 30-yard line. For 10 short minutes, everyone is watching me. The first note of the opening song begins, and I’m off. Spinning flags, tossing rifles, and dancing across the football field. Being one of only two people on the colorguard means everyone will see everything. It’s amazing and terrifying. And just like that, the performance is over.

Flashback to almost four years ago, when I walked into the guard room for the first time. I saw flyers for a “dance/flag team” hanging in the bland school hallway, and because I am a dancer, I decided to go. This was not a dance team at all. Spinning flags and being part of the marching band did not sound like how I wanted to spend my free time. After the first day, I considered not going back. But, for some unknown reason, I stayed. And after that, I began to fall in love with color guard. It is such an unknown activity, and maybe that’s part of what captivated me. How could people not know about something so amazing? I learned everything about flags and dancing in that year. And something interesting happened- I noticed my confidence begin to grow. I had never thought I was that good at anything, there was always someone better. However, color guard was something I truly loved, and I was good at it.

The next year, I was thrown into an interesting position. Our current captain quit in the middle of the season, and I was named the new captain of a team of six. At first, this was quite a daunting task. I was only a sophomore, and I was supposed to lead people two years older than me? Someone must’ve really believed in me. Being captain sounded impossible to me at first, but I wouldn’t let that stop me from doing my best. This is where my confidence really shot up. I learned how to be a captain. Of course I was timid at first, but slowly, I began to become a true leader.

The next marching season, it paid off. I choreographed many pieces of our show, and helped teach the other part of my guard, which at the time was only one other person. Having a small guard, we had to be spectacular, especially for band competitions. We ended up winning first place and second place trophies, something that had never been done before at our school, especially for such a small guard. That season is still one of my favorite memories. The grueling hours of learning routines, making changes, and learning how to be a leader finally paid off.

Looking back on it as I exit the field after halftime once again, I am so proud of myself. Not only has color guard helped the band succeed, I’ve also grown. I am now confident in what my skills are. Of course there is always more to be done, but I now I have the confidence to share my ideas, which is something I can’t say I had before color guard. Every Friday night we perform, I think about the growth I’ve made, and I feel on top of the world. That feeling never gets old.

Common App Essay Example #3: Big Eater

This Common App essay is a successful Northwestern essay from an admitted student. It has a unique take using the topic of eating habits—an example of how "mundane" topics can make for interesting ideas.

This essay uses their relationship with food to explore how their perspective has changed through moving high schools far away. Having a central theme is often a good strategy because it allows you to explore ideas while making them feel connected and cohesive. This essay shows how even a "simple" topic like food can show a lot about your character because you can extrapolate what it represents, rather than just what it literally is. With every topic, you can analyze on two levels: what it literally is, and what it represents.

Admissions officers want to get a sense of who you are, and one way to convey that is by using natural-sounding language and being somewhat informal. In this essay, the student writes as they'd speak, which creates a "voice" that you as the reader can easily hear. Phrases like "I kind of got used to it" may be informal, but work to show a sense of character. Referring to their parents as "Ma" and "Papa" also bring the reader into their world. If you come from a non-English speaking country or household, it can also be beneficial to use words from your language, such as "chiemo" in this essay. Using foreign language words helps share your unique culture with admissions.

Rather than "telling" the reader what they have to say, this student does a great job of "showing" them through specific imagery and anecdotes. Using short but descriptive phrases like "whether it was a sum or Sam the bully" are able to capture bigger ideas in a more memorable way. Showing your points through anecdotes and examples is always more effective than simply telling them, because showing allows the reader to come to their own conclusion, rather than having to believe what you're saying.

This student's first language is not English, which does make it challenging to express ideas with the best clarity. Although this student does an overall great job in writing despite this hindrance, there are moments where their ideas are not easily understood. In particular, when discussing substance addiction, it isn't clear: Was the student's relationship with food a disorder, or was that a metaphor? When drafting your essay, focus first on expressing your points as clearly and plainly as possible (it's harder than you may think). Simplicity is often better, but if you'd like, afterwards you can add creative details and stylistic changes.

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Common App Essay Example #4: Love for Medicine

Here's another Common App essay which is an accepted Dartmouth essay . This student talks about their range of experiences as an emergency medical responder:

I never knew I had the courage to talk a suicidal sixteen-year-old boy down from the edge of a bridge, knowing that he could jump and take his life at any moment.

I never knew I had the confidence to stand my ground and defend my treatment plan to those who saw me as less than capable because of my age or gender.

This essay has lots of detailed moments and descriptions. These anecdotes help back up their main idea by showing, rather than just telling. It's always important to include relevant examples because they are the "proof in the pudding" for what you're trying to say.

This topic deals with a lot of sensitive issues, and at certain points the writing could be interpreted as insensitive or not humble. It's especially important when writing about tragedies that you focus on others, rather than yourself. Don't try to play up your accomplishments or role; let them speak for themselves. By doing so, you'll actually achieve what you're trying to do: create an image of an honorable and inspirational person.

This essay touches on a lot of challenging and difficult moments, but it lacks a deep level of reflection upon those moments. When analyzing your essay, ask yourself: what is the deepest idea in it? In this case, there are some interesting ideas (e.g. "when they were on my stretcher, socioeconomic status...fell away"), but they are not fully developed or fleshed out.

Common App Essay Example #5: Cultural Confusion

This student's Common App was accepted to Pomona College , among other schools. Although this essay uses a common topic of discussing cultural background, this student writes a compelling take.

This student uses the theme of cultural confusion to explain their interests and identity:

Common App Essay Example #6: Football Manager

Here's a UPenn essay that worked for the Common App:

This essay has lighthearted moments in it, such as recognizing how being a football manager "does not sound glamorous" and how "we managers go by many names: watergirls..." Using moments of humor can be appropriate for contrasting with moments of serious reflection. Being lighthearted also shows a sense of personality and that you are able to take things with stride.

The reflections in this essay are far too generic overall and ultimately lack meaning because they are unspecific. Using buzzwords like "hard work" and "valuable lessons" comes off as unoriginal, so avoid using them at all costs. Your reflections need to be specific to you to be most meaningful. If you could (in theory) pluck out sentences from your essay and drop them into another student's essay, then chances are those sentences are not very insightful. Your ideas should be only have been able to been written by you: specific to your experiences, personal in nature, and show deep reflection.

Although this essay uses the topic of "being a football manager," by the end of the essay it isn't clear what that role even constitutes. Avoid over-relying on other people or other's ideas when writing your essay. That is, most of the reflections in this essay are based on what the author witnessed the football team doing, rather than what they experienced for themselves in their role. Focus on your own experiences first, and be as specific and tangible as possible when describing your ideas. Rather than saying "hard work," show that hard work through an anecdote.

More important than your stories is the "So what?" behind them. Avoid writing stories that don't have a clear purpose besides "setting the scene." Although most fiction writing describes people and places as exposition, for your essays you want to avoid that unless it specifically contributes to your main point. In this essay, the first two paragraphs are almost entirely unnecessary, as the point of them can be captured in one sentence: "I joined to be a football manager one summer." The details of how that happened aren't necessary because they aren't reflected upon.

In typical academic writing, we're taught to "tell them what you're going to tell them" before telling them. But for college essays, every word is highly valuable. Avoid prefacing your statements and preparing the reader for them. Instead of saying "XYZ would prove to be an unforgettable experience," just dive right into the experience itself. Think of admissions officers as "being in a rush," and give them what they want: your interesting ideas and experiences.

Common App Essay Example #7: Coffee

This student was admitted to several selective colleges, including Emory University, Northwestern University , Tufts University, and the University of Southern California . Here's their Common Application they submitted to these schools:

I was 16 years old, and working at a family-owned coffee shop training other employees to pour latte art. Making coffee became an artistic outlet that I never had before. I always loved math, but once I explored the complexities of coffee, I began to delve into a more creative realm--photography and writing--and exposed myself to the arts--something foreign and intriguing.

This essay uses coffee as a metaphor for this student's self-growth, especially in dealing with the absence of their father. Showing the change of their relationship with coffee works well as a structure because it allows the student to explore various activities and ideas while making them seem connected.

This student does a great job of including specifics, such as coffee terminology ("bloom the grounds" and "pour a swan"). Using specific and "nerdy" language shows your interests effectively. Don't worry if they won't understand all the references exactly, as long as there is context around them.

While coffee is the central topic, the author also references their father extensively throughout. It isn't clear until the conclusion how these topics relate, which makes the essay feel disjointed. In addition, there is no strong main idea, but instead a few different ideas. In general, it is better to focus on one interesting idea and delve deeply, rather than focus on many and be surface-level.

Near the conclusion, this student tells about their character: "humble, yet important, simple, yet complex..." You should avoid describing yourself to admissions officers, as it is less convincing. Instead, use stories, anecdotes, and ideas to demonstrate these qualities. For example, don't say "I'm curious," but show them by asking questions. Don't say, "I'm humble," but show them with how you reacted after a success or failure.

Common App Essay Example #8: Chicago

Here's another Northwestern essay . Northwestern is a quite popular school with lots of strong essay-focused applicants, which makes your "Why Northwestern?" essay important.

To write a strong Why Northwestern essay, try to answer these questions: What does NU represent to you? What does NU offer for you (and your interests) that other schools don't?

This essay uses a variety of descriptive and compelling words, without seeming forced or unnatural. It is important that you use your best vocabulary, but don't go reaching for a thesaurus. Instead, use words that are the most descriptive, while remaining true to how you'd actually write.

This essay is one big metaphor: the "L" train serves as a vehicle to explore this student's intellectual curiosity. Throughout the essay, the student also incorporates creative metaphors like "the belly of a gargantuan silver beast" and "seventy-five cent silver chariot" that show a keen sense of expression. If a metaphor sounds like one you've heard before, you probably shouldn't use it.

This student does a fantastic job of naturally talking about their activities. By connecting their activities to a common theme—in this case the "L" train—you can more easily move from one activity to the next, without seeming like you're just listing activities. This serves as an engaging way of introducing your extracurriculars and achievements, while still having the focus of your essay be on your interesting ideas.

Admissions officers are ultimately trying to get a sense of who you are. This student does a great job of taking the reader into their world. By sharing quirks and colloquialisms (i.e. specific language you use), you can create an authentic sense of personality.

Common App Essay Example #9: Mountaineering

Here's a liberal arts college Common App essay from Colby College . Colby is a highly ranked liberal arts college.

As with all colleges—but especially liberal arts schools—your personal essay will be a considerable factor.

In this essay, the student describes their experience climbing Mount Adams, and the physical and logistical preparations that went into it. They describe how they overcame some initial setbacks by using their organizational skills from previous expeditions.

This Colby student explains how the process of preparation can lead to success in academics and other endeavours, but with the potential for negative unintended consequences.

Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

This essay does a great job of having a cohesive theme: mountaineering. Often times, great essay topics can be something simple on the surface, such as your favorite extracurricular activity or a notable experience. Consider using the literal activity as a sort of metaphor, like this essay does. This student uses mountaineering as a metaphor for preparation in the face of upcoming challenge. Using an overarching metaphor along with a central theme can be effective because it allows you to explore various ideas while having them all feel connected and cohesive.

Admissions officers want to see your self-growth, which doesn't always mean your successes. Often times, being vulnerable by expressing your struggles is powerful because it makes you more human and relatable, while providing the opportunity to reflect on what you learned. The best lessons from come failures, and writing about challenge can also make your later successes feel more impactful. Everyone loves to hear an underdog or zero-to-hero story. But counterintuitively, your failures are actually more important than your successes.

This essay has some nice ideas about focusing only on what's in your control: your attitude and your effort. However, these ideas are ultimately somewhat generic as they have been used countless times in admissions essays. Although ideas like this can be a good foundation, you should strive to reach deeper ideas. Deeper ideas are ones that are specific to you, unique, and interesting. You can reach deeper ideas by continually asking yourself "How" and "Why" questions that cause you to think deeper about a topic. Don't be satisfied with surface-level reflections. Think about what they represent more deeply, or how you can connect to other ideas or areas of your life.

Common App Essay Example #10: Boarding School

This personal essay was accepted to Claremont McKenna College . See how this student wrote a vulnerable essay about boarding school experience and their family relationship:

I began attending boarding school aged nine.

Obviously, this is not particularly unusual – my school dorms were comprised of boys and girls in the same position as me. However, for me it was difficult – or perhaps it was for all of us; I don’t know. We certainly never discussed it.

I felt utterly alone, as though my family had abruptly withdrawn the love and support thatI so desperately needed. At first, I did try to open up to them during weekly phone calls, but what could they do? As months slipped by, the number of calls reduced. I felt they had forgotten me. Maybe they felt I had withdrawn from them. A vast chasm of distance was cracking open between us.

At first, I shared my hurt feelings with my peers, who were amazingly supportive, but there was a limit to how much help they could offer. After a while, I realized that by opening up, I was burdening them, perhaps even irritating them. The feelings I was sharing should have been reserved for family. So, I withdrew into myself. I started storing up my emotions and became a man of few words. In the classroom or on the sports field, people saw a self-confident and cheerful character, but behind that facade was someone who yearned for someone to understand him and accept him as he was.

Years went past.

Then came the phone call which was about to change my life. “Just come home Aryan, it’s really important!” My mother’s voice was odd, brittle. I told her I had important exams the following week, so needed to study. “Aryan, why don’t you listen to me? There is no other option, okay? You are coming home.”

Concerned, I arranged to fly home. When I got there, my sister didn’t say hi to me, my grandmother didn’t seem overly enthusiastic to see me and my mother was nowhere to be seen. I wanted to be told why I was called back so suddenly just to be greeted as though I wasn’t even welcome.

Then my mother then came out of her room and saw me. To my immense incredulity, she ran to me and hugged me, and started crying in my arms.

Then came the revelation, “Your father had a heart attack.”

My father. The man I hadn’t really talked to in years. A man who didn’t even know who I was anymore. I’d spent so long being disappointed in him and suspecting he was disappointed in me, I sunk under a flood of emotions.

I opened the door to his room and there he was sitting on his bed with a weak smile on his face. I felt shaken to my core. All at once it was clear to me how self-centered I had become. A feeling of humiliation engulfed me, but finally I realized that rather than wallow in it, I needed to appreciate I was not alone in having feelings.

I remained at home that week. I understood that my family needed me. I worked with my uncle to ensure my family business was running smoothly and often invited relatives or friends over to cheer my father up.

Most importantly, I spent time with my family. It had been years since I’d last wanted to do this – I had actively built the distance between us – but really, I’d never stopped craving it. Sitting together in the living room, I realized how badly I needed them.

Seeing happiness in my father’s eyes, I felt I was finally being the son he had always needed me to be: A strong, capable young man equipped to take over the family business if need be.

Common App Essay Example #11: My Father

This Cornell University essay is an example of writing about a tragedy, which can be a tricky topic to write about well.

Family and tragedy essays are a commonly used topic, so it can be harder to come up with a unique essay idea using these topics.

Let me know what you think of this essay for Cornell:

My father was wise, reserved, hardworking, and above all, caring. I idolized his humility and pragmatism, and I cherish it today. But after his death, I was emotionally raw. I could barely get through class without staving off a breakdown.

Writing about tragedy, such as the loss of a loved one, is a tricky topic because it has been used countless times in college admissions. It is difficult to not come off as a "victim" or that you're trying to garner sympathy by using the topic (i.e. a "sob story"). This essay does a great job of writing about a personal tragedy in a meaningful and unique way by connecting to values and ideas, rather than staying focused on what literally happened. By connecting tragedy to lessons and takeaways, you can show how—despite the difficulty and sorrow—you have gained something positive from it, however small that may be. Don't write about personal tragedy because you think "you should." As with any topic, only write about it if you have a meaningful point to make.

This essay is effective at making the reader feel the similar emotions as the author does and in bringing the reader into their "world." Even small remarks like noting the the "firsts" without their loved one are powerful because it is relatable and something that is apparent, but not commonly talked about. Using short phrases like "That was it. No goodbye, no I love you..." create emphasis and again a sense of relatability. As the reader, you can vividly imagine how the author must have felt during these moments. The author also uses questions, such as "What did I last say to him?" which showcase their thought process, another powerful way to bring the reader into your world.

Admissions officers are looking for self-growth, which can come in a variety of forms. Showing a new perspective is one way to convey that you've developed over time, learned something new, or gained new understanding or appreciation. In this essay, the student uses the "sticker of a black and white eye" to represent how they viewed their father differently before and after his passing. By using a static, unchanging object like this, and showing how you now view it differently over time, you convey a change in perspective that can make for interesting reflections.

Common App Essay Example #12: DMV Trials

Here's a funny Common App essay from a Northwestern admitted student about getting their driver's license.

This topic has been used before—as many "topics" have—but what's important is having a unique take or idea.

What do you think of this Northwestern essay ?

Breath, Emily, breath. I drive to the exit and face a four-lane roadway. “Turn left,” my passenger says.

On July 29, [Date] , I finally got my license. After the April debacle, I practiced driving almost every week. I learned to stop at stop signs and look both ways before crossing streets, the things I apparently didn’t know how to do during my first two tests. When pulling into the parking lot with the examiner for the last time, a wave of relief washed over me.

This essay does a good job of having a compelling narrative. By setting the scene descriptively, it is easy to follow and makes for a pleasant reading experience. However, avoid excessive storytelling, as it can overshadow your reflections, which are ultimately most important.

This essay has some moments where the author may come off as being overly critical, of either themselves or of others. Although it is okay (and good) to recognize your flaws, you don't want to portray yourself in a negative manner. Avoid being too negative, and instead try to find the positive aspects when possible.

More important than your stories is the answer to "So what?" and why they matter. Avoid writing a personal statement that is entirely story-based, because this leaves little room for reflection and to share your ideas. In this essay, the reflections are delayed to the end and not as developed as they could be.

In this essay, it comes across that failure is negative. Although the conclusion ultimately has a change of perspective in that "failure is inevitable and essential to moving forward," it doesn't address that failure is ultimately a positive thing. Admissions officers want to see failure and your challenges, because overcoming those challenges is what demonstrates personal growth.

Common App Essay Example #13: Ice Cream Fridays

This Columbia essay starts off with a vulnerable moment of running for school president. The student goes on to show their growth through Model UN, using detailed anecdotes and selected moments.

My fascination with geopolitical and economic issues were what kept me committed to MUN. But by the end of sophomore year, the co-presidents were fed up. “Henry, we know how hard you try, but there are only so many spots for each conference...” said one. “You’re wasting space, you should quit,” said the other.

This essay has a compelling story, starting from this author's early struggles with public speaking and developing into their later successes with Model UN. Using a central theme—in this case public speaking—is an effective way of creating a cohesive essay. By having a main idea, you can tie in multiple moments or achievements without them coming across unrelated.

This student talks about their achievements with a humble attitude. To reference your successes, it's equally important to address your failures. By expressing your challenges, it will make your later achievements seem more impactful in contrast. This student also is less "me-focused" and instead is interested in others dealing with the same struggles. By connecting to people in your life, values, or interesting ideas, you can reference your accomplishments without coming off as bragging.

This essay has moments of reflection, such as "math and programming made sense... people didn't". However, most of these ideas are cut short, without going much deeper. When you strike upon a potentially interesting idea, keep going with it. Try to explain the nuances, or broaden your idea to more universal themes. Find what is most interesting about your experience and share that with admissions.

Stories are important, but make sure all your descriptions are critical for the story. In this essay, the author describes things that don't add to the story, such as the appearance of other people or what they were wearing. These ultimately don't relate to their main idea—overcoming public speaking challenges—and instead are distracting.

Common App Essay Example #14: Key to Happiness

Here's a Brown University application essay that does a great job of a broad timeline essay. This student shows the change in their thinking and motivations over a period of time, which makes for an interesting topic.

Let me know what you think of this Brown essay:

Common App Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? (250-650 words)

This student's first language is not English, which provides some insight into why the phrasing may not seem as natural or show as much personality. Admissions officers are holistic in determining who to admit, meaning they take into account many different factors when judging your essays. While this essay may not be the strongest, the applicant probably had other qualities or "hooks" that helped them get accepted, such as awards, activities, unique background, etc. Plus, there is some leniency granted to students who don't speak English as their first language, because writing essays in a foreign language is tough in and of itself.

It's good to be confident in your achievements, but you don't want to come across as boastful or self-assured. In this essay, some of the phrasing such as "when I was the best at everything" seems exaggerated and is off-putting. Instead of boosting your accomplishments, write about them in a way that almost "diminishes" them. Connect your achievements to something bigger than you: an interesting idea, a passionate cause, another person or group. By not inflating your achievements, you'll come across more humble and your achievements will actually seem more impactful. We all have heard of a highly successful person who thinks "it's no big deal," which actually makes their talents seem far more impressive.

This essay has some takeaways and reflections, as your essay should too, but ultimately these ideas are unoriginal and potentially cliché. Ideas like "what makes you happy is pursing your passion" are overused and have been heard thousands of times by admissions officers. Instead, focus on getting to unique and "deep" ideas: ideas that are specific to you and that have meaningful implications. It's okay to start off with more surface-level ideas, but you want to keep asking questions to yourself like "Why" and "How" to push yourself to think deeper. Try making connections, asking what something represents more broadly, or analyzing something from a different perspective.

You don't need to preface your ideas in your essay. Don't say things like "I later found out this would be life-changing, and here's why." Instead, just jump into the details that are most compelling. In this essay, there are moments that seem repetitive and redundant because they don't add new ideas and instead restate what's already been said in different words. When editing your essay, be critical of every sentence (and even words) by asking: Does this add something new to my essay? Does it have a clear, distinct purpose? If the answer is no, you should probably remove that sentence.

Common App Essay Example #15: Discovering Passion

Here's a Johns Hopkins essay that shows how the student had a change in attitude and perspective after taking a summer job at a care facility.

It may seem odd to write about your potential drawbacks or weaknesses—such as having a bad attitude towards something—but it's real and can help demonstrate personal growth.

So tell me your thoughts on this JHU Common App essay:

Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)

This student uses vulnerability in admitting that they held preconceived notions about the elderly before this experience. The quote introduces these preconceived notions well, while the description of how this student got their job in the care facility is also engaging.

Admission officers love to see your interactions with others. Showing how you interact reveals a lot about your character, and this essay benefits from reflecting upon the student's relationship with a particular elderly individual.

It is good to be descriptive, but only when it supports your expression of ideas. In this essay, the author uses adjectives and adverbs excessively, without introducing new ideas. Your ideas are more important than having a diverse vocabulary, and the realizations in this essay are muddled by rephrasing similar ideas using seemingly "impressive," but ultimately somewhat meaningless, vocabulary.

This essay touches on some interesting ideas, but on multiple occasions these ideas are repeated just in different phrasing. If you have already expressed an idea, don't repeat it unless you're adding something new: a deeper context, a new angle, a broadened application, etc. Ask yourself: what is the purpose of each sentence, and have I expressed it already?

It's true that almost any topic can make for a strong essay, but certain topics are trickier because they make it easy to write about overly used ideas. In this essay, the main idea can be summarized as: "I realized the elderly were worthy humans too." It touches upon more interesting ideas, such as how people can be reduced down to their afflictions rather than their true character, but the main idea is somewhat surface-level.

Common App Essay Example #16: "A Cow Gave Birth"

This Common App essay for the University of Pennsylvania centers on the theme of womanhood. Not only is it well-written, but this essay has interesting and unique ideas that relate to the student's interests.

Common App Essay Example #17: Robotics

This Common App essay was for Washington University in St. Louis .

This student writes about their experience creating and using an engineering notebook to better document their robotics progress. They share the story of how their dedication and perseverance led to winning awards and qualifying for the national championships.

Lastly, they reflect on the importance of following one's passions in life and decision to pursue a business degree instead of a engineering one.

This essay touches on various lessons that they've learned as a result of their experience doing robotics. However, these lessons are ultimately surface-level and generic, such as "I embraced new challenges." Although these could be a starting point for deeper ideas, on their own they come off as unoriginal and overused. Having interesting ideas is what makes an essay the most compelling, and you need to delve deeply into reflection, past the surface-level takeaways. When drafting and brainstorming, keep asking yourself questions like "How" and "Why" to dig deeper. Ask "What does this represent? How does it connect to other things? What does this show about myself/the world/society/etc.?"

Although this essay is focused on "VEX robotics," the details of what that activity involves are not elaborated. Rather than focusing on the surface-level descriptions like "We competed and won," it would be more engaging to delve into the details. What did your robot do? How did you compete? What were the specific challenges in "lacking building materials"? Use visuals and imagery to create a more engaging picture of what you were doing.

The hook and ending sentences of "drifting off to sleep" feel arbitrary and not at all connected to any ideas throughout the essay. Instead, it comes off as a contrived choice to create a "full circle" essay. Although coming full circle is often a good strategy, there should be a specific purpose in doing so. For your intro, try using a short sentence that creates emphasis on something interesting. For the conclusion, try using similar language to the intro, expanding upon your ideas to more universal takeaways, or connecting back to previous ideas with a new nuance.

Common App Essay Example #18: Lab Research

Common app essay example #19: carioca dance.

Having a natural-sounding style of writing can be a great way of conveying personality. This student does a fantastic job of writing as they'd speak, which lets admissions officers create a clear "image" of who you are in their head. By writing naturally and not robotically, you can create a "voice" and add character to your essay.

This student chooses a unique activity, the Carioca drill, as their main topic. By choosing a "theme" like this, it allows you to easily and naturally talk about other activities too, without seeming like you're simply listing activities. This student uses the Carioca as a metaphor for overcoming difficulties and relates it to their other activities and academics—public speaking and their job experience.

Showing a sense of humor can indicate wit, which not only makes you seem more likeable, but also conveys self-awareness. By not always taking yourself 100% seriously, you can be more relatable to the reader. This student acknowledges their struggles in conjunction with using humor ("the drills were not named after me—'Saads'"), which shows a recognition that they have room to improve, while not being overly self-critical.

Common App Essay Example #20: Chinese Language

The list of languages that Lincoln offered startled me. “There’s so many,” I thought, “Latin, Spanish, Chinese, and French.”

As soon as I stepped off the plane, and set my eyes upon the beautiful city of Shanghai, I fell in love. In that moment, I had an epiphany. China was made for me, and I wanted to give it all my first; first job and first apartment.

Using creative metaphors can be an effective way of conveying ideas. In this essay, the metaphor of "Chinese characters...were the names of my best friends" tells a lot about this student's relationship with the language. When coming up with metaphors, a good rule of thumb is: if you've heard it before, don't use it. Only use metaphors that are specific, make sense for what you're trying to say, and are highly unique.

Whenever you "tell" something, you should try and back it up with anecdotes, examples, or experiences. Instead of saying that "I made conversation," this student exemplifies it by listing who they talked to. Showing is always going to be more compelling than telling because it allows the reader to come to the conclusion on their own, which makes them believe it much stronger. Use specific, tangible examples to back up your points and convince the reader of what you're saying.

Although this essay has reflections, they tend to be more surface-level, rather than unique and compelling. Admissions officers have read thousands of application essays and are familiar with most of the ideas students write about. To stand out, you'll need to dive deeper into your ideas. To do this, keep asking yourself questions whenever you have an interesting idea. Ask "Why" and "How" repeatedly until you reach something that is unique, specific to you, and super interesting.

Avoid writing a conclusion that only "sounds nice," but lacks real meaning. Often times, students write conclusions that go full circle, or have an interesting quote, but they still don't connect to the main idea of the essay. Your conclusion should be your strongest, most interesting idea. It should say something new: a new perspective, a new takeaway, a new aspect of your main point. End your essay strongly by staying on topic, but taking your idea one step further to the deepest it can go.

Common App Essay Example #21: Kiki's Delivery Service

Common App Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? (250-650 words)

I spent much of my childhood watching movies. I became absolutely engrossed in many different films, TV shows, and animations. From the movie theatres to the TV, I spent my hours enjoying the beauty of visual media. One place that was special to me was the car. My parents purchased a special screen that could be mounted on the back of the headrest, so that I could watch movies on trips. This benefited both parties, as I was occupied, and they had peace. Looking back, I realize this screen played a crucial role in my childhood. It was an integral part of many journeys. I remember taking a drive to Washington D.C, with my visiting relatives from Poland, and spending my time with my eyes on the screen. I remember packing up my possessions and moving to my current home from Queens, watching my cartoons the whole time. I can comfortably say that watching movies in the car has been an familiar anchor during times of change in my life.

I used to watch many different cartoons, nature documentaries, and other products in the car, yet there has been one movie that I have rewatched constantly. It is called “Kiki’s Delivery Service” by Hayao Miyazaki. My parents picked it up at a garage sale one day, and I fell in love. The style of the animations were beautiful, and the captivating story of a thirteen year old witch leaving home really appealed to me. To be honest, the initial times I watched it, I didn’t fully understand the story but the magic and beauty just made me happy. Then, the more I watched it, I began to see that it was more about independence, including the need to get away from home and establish yourself as your own person. This mirrors how I felt during that period of my life,with mehaving a little rebellious streak; I didn’t agree with my parents on certain topics. That is not the end of the story though. As the years passed, and I watched it a couple more times, although with less frequency than before, my view of this movie evolved yet again.

Instead of solely thinking about the need for independence, I began to think the movie was more about the balance of independence and reliance. In the movie, the girl finds herself struggling until she begins to accept help from others. Looking back, this also follows my own philosophy during this time. As I began to mature, I began to realize the value of family, and accept all the help I can get from them. I appreciate all the hard work they had done for me, and I recognize their experience in life and take advantage of it. I passed through my rebellious phase, and this reflected in my analysis of the movie. I believe that this is common, and if I look through the rest of my life I am sure I would find other similar examples of my thoughts evolving based on the stage in my life. This movie is one of the most important to me throughout my life.

Common App Essay Example #22: Museum of Life

Using visuals can be a way to add interesting moments to your essay. Avoid being overly descriptive, however, as it can be distracting from your main point. When drafting, start by focusing on your ideas (your reflections and takeaways). Once you have a rough draft, then you can consider ways to incorporate imagery that can add character and flavor to your essay.

Admissions officers are people, just like you, and therefore are drawn to personalities that exhibit positive qualities. Some of the most important qualities to portray are: humility, curiosity, thoughtfulness, and passion. In this essay, there are several moments that could be interpreted as potentially self-centered or arrogant. Avoid trying to make yourself out to be "better" or "greater" than other people. Instead, focus on having unique and interesting ideas first, and this will show you as a likeable, insightful person. Although this is a "personal" statement, you should also avoid over using "I" in your essay. When you have lots of "I" sentences, it starts to feel somewhat ego-centric, rather than humble and interested in something greater than you.

This essay does a lot of "telling" about the author's character. Instead, you want to provide evidence—through examples, anecdotes, and moments—that allow the reader to come to their own conclusions about who you are. Avoid surface-level takeaways like "I am open-minded and have a thirst for knowledge." These types of statements are meaningless because anyone can write them. Instead, focus on backing up your points by "showing," and then reflect genuinely and deeply on those topics.

This essay is focused on art museums and tries to tie in a connection to studying medicine. However, because this connection is very brief and not elaborated, the connection seems weak. To connect to your area of study when writing about a different topic, try reflecting on your topic first. Go deep into interesting ideas by asking "How" and "Why" questions. Then, take those ideas and broaden them. Think of ways they could differ or parallel your desired area of study. The best connections between a topic (such as an extracurricular) and your area of study (i.e. your major) is through having interesting ideas.

Common App Essay Example #23: French Horn

This student chose the creative idea of personifying their French horn as their central theme. Using this personification, they are able to write about a multitude of moments while making them all feel connected. This unique approach also makes for a more engaging essay, as it is not overly straightforward and generic.

It can be challenging to reference your achievements without seeming boastful or coming across too plainly. This student manages to write about their successes ("acceptance into the Julliard Pre-College program") by using them as moments part of a broader story. The focus isn't necessarily on the accomplishments themselves, but the role they play in this relationship with their instrument. By connecting more subtly like this, it shows humility. Often, "diminishing" your achievements will actually make them stand out more, because it shows you're focused on the greater meaning behind them, rather than just "what you did."

This student does a good job of exemplifying each of their ideas. Rather than just saying "I experienced failure," they show it through imagery ("dried lips, cracked notes, and missed entrances"). Similarly, with their idea "no success comes without sacrifice," they exemplify it using examples of sacrifice. Always try to back up your points using examples, because showing is much more convincing than telling. Anyone can "tell" things, but showing requires proof.

This essay has a decent conclusion, but it could be stronger by adding nuance to their main idea or connecting to the beginning with a new perspective. Rather than repeating what you've established previously, make sure your conclusion has a different "angle" or new aspect. This can be connecting your main idea to more universal values, showing how you now view something differently, or emphasizing a particular aspect of your main idea that was earlier introduced.

Common App Essay Example #24: Dear My Younger Self

Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)

Younger Anna,

• Don’t live your life as if you're constantly being watched and criticized. Chances are, no one is even paying attention to you.
• Wear your retainer.
• Empathy makes your life easier. People who are inexplicably cruel are suffering just as much as the recipients of their abuse. Understanding this makes your interactions with these people less painful.
• Comparing yourself to your classmates is counterproductive. Sometimes you will forge ahead, other times you will lag behind. But ultimately, you’re only racing yourself.
• Speak up to your stepmom.
• Always eat the cake. I couldn't tell you how many times I’ve turned away a slice of cake, only to regret it the next day. If you really can’t commit, do yourself a favor and take a slice home with you.
• Cherish your grandparents.
• Forgive your mother. Harboring resentment hurts you just as much as her. All the time I spent being angry at her could’ve been spent discovering her strengths.

This essay chose a unique structure in the form of a letter addressed to themselves with a list of lessons they've learned. This structure is unique, and also allows the student to explore a variety of topics and ideas while making them all feel connected. It is tricky to not seem "gimmicky" when choosing a creative structure like this, but the key is to make your essay well thought-out. Show that you've put effort into reflecting deeply, and that you aren't choosing a unique structure just to stand out.

This essay is highly focused on lessons they've learned, which shows a deep level of reflection. Your ideas and takeaways from life experience are ultimately most compelling to admissions officers, and this essay succeeds because it is focused almost entirely on those reflections. This student also manages to incorporate anecdotes and mini stories where appropriate, which makes their reflections more memorable by being tangible.

Showing humility and self-awareness are two highly attractive traits in college admissions. Being able to recognize your own flaws and strengths, while not making yourself out to be more than what you are, shows that you are mature and thoughtful. Avoid trying to "boost yourself up" by exaggerating your accomplishments or over-emphasizing your strengths. Instead, let your ideas speak for themselves, and by focusing on genuine, meaningful ideas, you'll convey a persona that is both humble and insightful.

The drawback of having a structure like this, where lots of different ideas are examined, is that no one idea is examined in-depth. As a result, some ideas (such as "intelligence is not defined by your grades") come across as trite and overused. In general, avoid touching on lots of ideas while being surface-level. Instead, it's almost always better to choose a handful (or even just one main idea) and go as in-depth as possible by continually asking probing questions—"How" and "Why"—that force yourself to think deeper and be more critical. Having depth of ideas shows inquisitiveness, thoughtfulness, and ultimately are more interesting because they are ideas that only you could have written.

Common App Essay Example #25: Monopoly

Feeling a bit weary from my last roll of the dice, I cross my fingers with the “FREE PARKING” square in sight. As luck has it, I smoothly glide past the hotels to have my best horse show yet- earning multiple wins against stiff competition and gaining points to qualify for five different national finals this year.

This essay uses the board game "Monopoly" as a metaphor for their life. By using a metaphor as your main topic, you can connect to different ideas and activities in a cohesive way. However, make sure the metaphor isn't chosen arbitrarily. In this essay, it isn't completely clear why Monopoly is an apt metaphor for their life, because the specific qualities that make Monopoly unique aren't explained or elaborated. Lots of games require "strategy and precision, with a hint of luck and a tremendous amount of challenge," so it'd be better to focus on the unique aspects of the game to make a more clear connection. For example, moving around the board in a "repetitive" fashion, but each time you go around with a different perspective. When choosing a metaphor, first make sure that it is fitting for what you're trying to describe.

You want to avoid listing your activities or referencing them without a clear connection to something greater. Since you have an activities list already, referencing your activities in your essay should have a specific purpose, rather than just emphasizing your achievements. In this essay, the student connects their activities by connecting them to a specific idea: how each activity is like a mini challenge that they must encounter to progress in life. Make sure your activities connect to something specifically: an idea, a value, an aspect of your character.

This essay lacks depth in their reflections by not delving deeply into their main takeaways. In this essay, the main "idea" is that they've learned to be persistent with whatever comes their way. This idea could be a good starting point, but on its own is too generic and not unique enough. Your idea should be deep and specific, meaning that it should be something only you could have written about. If your takeaway could be used in another student's essay without much modification, chances are it is a surface-level takeaway and you want to go more in-depth. To go in-depth, keep asking probing questions like "How" and "Why" or try making more abstract connections between topics.

In the final two paragraphs, this essay does a lot of "telling" about the lessons they've learned. They write "I know that in moments of doubt...I can rise to the occasion." Although this could be interesting, it would be far more effective if this idea is shown through anecdotes or experiences. The previous examples in the essay don't "show" this idea. When drafting, take your ideas and think of ways you can represent them without having to state them outright. By showing your points, you will create a more engaging and convincing essay because you'll allow the reader to come to the conclusion themselves, rather than having to believe what you've told them.

What Can You Learn from These Common App Essay Examples?

With these 25 Common App essay examples, you can get inspired and improve your own personal statement.

If you want to get accepted into selective colleges this year, your Common App essays needs to be its best possible.

What makes a good Common App essay isn't easy to define. There aren't any rules or steps.

But using these samples from real students, you can understand what it takes to write an outstanding personal statement .

Let me know, which Common App essay did you think was the best?

Ryan Chiang , Founder of EssaysThatWorked.com

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BeMo's Ultimate Guide to Ivy League College Essays & Personal Statements: How to Write Captivating Essays and Statements Even If You Are Not a Natural Writer Kindle Edition

BeMo’s Ultimate Guide to Ivy League College Essays & Personal Statements is the most comprehensive resource to use when preparing for your college applications. Written by former admissions committee members and award-winning professionals, this guide is a must-read for all college applicants. The guide includes effective strategies, 10 sample personal statements, and 8 sample supplemental essays, all of which were analyzed and reviewed by our admissions experts, so you are better able to understand the strategies.

• Top 5 reasons that get most applicants rejected,
• 7 common essay errors,
• 10 outstanding personal statement examples sent in by our students,
• 8 outstanding supplemental essay examples sent in by our students,
• A guideline of how to brainstorm for your personal statements and supplemental essays,
• Key components for your outline,
• An interactive step-by-step guide, which lets you write your own essay from scratch,
• The final secret used by students who get accepted,
• Bonus resources that help you understand the application process and what you need to write your own personal statement and supplemental essays,
• Over 200 pages of tips, strategies, and advice from admission experts, including former admissions committee members and award-winning professionals

BeMo Academic Consulting Inc. (“BeMo®”) is a global leader in MBA admissions. BeMo’s expertise is sought after by media and official university career centers. BeMo’s core value is to help reduce the social gap at professional schools by teaching students the essential qualities required by such programs. BeMo’s team members believe everyone deserves access to higher education, and they want to make sure every student gets a fair chance at admission to these very competitive programs regardless of their socioeconomic, racial, or cultural background.

BeMo®, BeMo Academic™, BeMo Consulting™, BeMo Academic Consulting™, MMI SIM™, InterviewProf™, and Get In Or Your Money Back are trademarks of BeMo Academic Consulting Inc.

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• Publication date ‏ : ‎ March 2, 2023
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Bemo academic consulting inc..

BeMo Academic Consulting Inc. (“BeMo”) is one of the most sought after admissions consulting firms in the world famous for helping students get into highly competitive programs.

We’re an energetic academic consulting firm, comprised of a team of researchers and professionals, who use a proven evidence-based and scientific approach to help prospective students with career path development and admissions to undergraduate, graduate and professional programs (e.g. medicine, law, dentistry, pharmacy, etc.)

We believe your education is your most valuable asset and learning how to become a great future professional or scholar doesn’t need to be complicated. We also believe that every student deserves access to higher education, regardless of his or her social status or cultural background. However, in our opinion, most of the current admissions practices, tools and procedures are not necessarily fair and for the most part out-dated and more importantly, remain scientifically unproven.

Our goal is to create ridiculously useful (and scientifically sound) programs and tools that work and provide more than just some trivial information like the other "admissions consulting companies" out there! We want to make sure everyone has a fair chance of admissions to highly competitive professional programs despite the current admissions practices.

We do whatever it takes to come up with creative solutions…and then implement like mad scientists. We’re passionate about mentoring our students and obsessed with delivering insanely useful educational programs and we go where others dare not to explore.

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The Personal Statement Topics Ivy League Hopefuls Should Avoid

Jul 19, 2024

A compelling personal statement is a critical component of an Ivy League application, as it offers students the unique opportunity to showcase their personality, experiences, and aspirations. Kickstarting the writing process in the summer can give students a critical advantage in the admissions process, allowing them more time to brainstorm, edit, and polish standout essays. However, as students begin drafting their essays this summer, they should bear in mind that selecting the right topic is crucial to writing a successful essay. Particularly for students with Ivy League aspirations, submitting an essay that is cliche, unoriginal, or inauthentic can make the difference between standing out to admissions officers or blending into the sea of other applicants.

As ambitious students embark on the college application process, here are the personal statement topics they should avoid:

1. The Trauma Dump

Many students overcome significant hurdles by the time they begin the college application process, and some assume that the grisliest and most traumatic stories will attract attention and sympathy from admissions committees. While vulnerability can be powerful, sharing overly personal or sensitive information can make readers uncomfortable and shift focus away from a student’s unique strengths. Students should embrace authenticity and be honest about the struggles they have faced on their path to college, while still recognizing that the personal statement is a professional piece of writing, not a diary entry. Students should first consider why they want to share a particular tragic or traumatic experience and how that story might lend insight into the kind of student and community member they will be on campus. As a general rule, if the story will truly enrich the admissions committee’s understanding of their candidacy, students should thoughtfully include it; if it is a means of proving that they are more deserving or seeking to engender pity, students should consider selecting a different topic. Students should adopt a similar, critical approach as they write about difficult or sensitive topics in their supplemental essays, excluding unnecessary detail and focusing on how the experience shaped who they are today.

2. The Travelogue

Travel experiences can be enriching, but essays that merely recount a trip to a foreign country without deeper reflection often fall flat. Additionally, travel stories can often unintentionally convey white saviorism, particularly if students are recounting experiences from their charity work or mission trips in a foreign place. If a student does wish to write about an experience from their travels, they should prioritize depth not breadth—the personal statement is not the place to detail an entire itinerary or document every aspect of a trip. Instead, students should focus on one specific and meaningful experience from their travels with vivid detail and creative storytelling, expounding on how the event changed their worldview, instilled new values, or inspired their future goals.

3. The Superhero Narrative

Ivy League and other top colleges are looking for students who are introspective and teachable—no applicant is perfect (admissions officers know this!). Therefore, it’s crucial that students be aware of their strengths and weaknesses, and open about the areas in which they hope to grow. They should avoid grandiose narratives in which they cast themselves as flawless heroes. While students should seek to put their best foot forward, depicting themselves as protagonists who single-handedly resolve complex issues can make them appear exaggerated and lacking in humility. For instance, rather than telling the story about being the sole onlooker to stand up for a peer being bullied at the lunch table, perhaps a student could share about an experience that emboldened them to advocate for themselves and others. Doing so will add dimension and dynamism to their essay, rather than convey a static story of heroism.

4. The Plan for World Peace

Similarly, many students feel compelled to declare their intention to solve global issues like world hunger or climate change. While noble, these proclamations can come across as unrealistic and insincere, and they can distract from the tangible achievements and experiences that a student brings to the table. Instead, applicants should focus on demonstrable steps they’ve taken or plan to take within their local community to enact positive change, demonstrating their commitment and practical approach to making a difference. For instance, instead of stating a desire to eradicate poverty, students could describe their extended involvement in a local charity and how it has helped them to discover their values and actualize their passions.

5. The Sports Story

While sports can teach valuable lessons, essays that focus solely on athletic achievements or the importance of a particular game can be overdone and lack depth. Admissions officers have read countless essays about students scoring the winning goal, dealing with the hardship of an injury, or learning teamwork from sports. Students should keep in mind that the personal essay should relay a story that only they can tell—perhaps a student has a particularly unique story about bringing competitive pickleball to their high school and uniting unlikely friend groups or starting a community initiative to repair and donate golf gear for students who couldn’t otherwise afford to play. However, if their sports-related essay could have been written by any high school point guard or soccer team captain, it’s time to brainstorm new ideas.

6. The Pick-Me Monologue

Students may feel the need to list their accomplishments and standout qualities in an effort to appear impressive to Ivy League admissions officers. This removes any depth, introspection, and creativity from a student’s essay and flattens their experiences to line items on a resume. Admissions officers already have students’ Activities Lists and resumes; the personal statement should add texture and dimension to their applications, revealing aspects of their character, values and voice not otherwise obvious through the quantitative aspects of their applications. Instead of listing all of their extracurricular involvements, students should identify a particularly meaningful encounter or event they experienced through one of the activities that matters most to them, and reflect on the ways in which their participation impacted their development as a student and person.

7. The Pandemic Sob Story

The Covid-19 pandemic was a traumatic and formative experience for many students, and it is therefore understandable that applicants draw inspiration from these transformative years as they choose their essay topics. However, while the pandemic affected individuals differently, an essay about the difficulties faced during this time will likely come across as unoriginal and generic. Admissions officers have likely read hundreds of essays about remote learning challenges, social isolation, and the general disruptions caused by Covid-19. These narratives can start to blend together, making it difficult for any single essay to stand out. Instead of centering the essay on the pandemic’s challenges, students should consider how they adapted, grew, or made a positive impact during this time. For example, rather than writing about the difficulties of remote learning, a student could describe how they created a virtual study group to support classmates struggling with online classes. Similarly, an applicant might write about developing a new skill such as coding or painting during lockdown and how this pursuit has influenced their academic or career goals. Focusing on resilience, innovation, and personal development can make for a more compelling narrative.

Crafting a standout personal statement requires dedicated time, careful thought, and honest reflection. The most impactful essays are those that toe the lines between vulnerability and professionalism, introspection and action, championing one’s strengths and acknowledging weaknesses. Starting early and striving to avoid overused and unoriginal topics will level up a student’s essay and increase their chances of standing out.

Originally posted on Forbes .

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How To Craft An Ivy League Worthy Activities List

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Do Ivy League schools really care about your extracurricular activities? The answer is emphatically yes .

Ivy League colleges seek to admit students who are specialists in their fields of interest and will put their passions to positive use in their future communities. While grades, test scores, and a rigorous course load convey your academic interests and skill set to top colleges, your activities list goes a long way in communicating what you truly value and what kind of community member you will be on your future college campus. For this reason, the Common App activities list is one of the most critical components of your college application—a thoughtfully crafted activities list paints a picture of your commitment to your passions, your leadership abilities, and your history of enacting positive change in your environment.

With the school year quickly approaching, students should use the remaining weeks of summer to start crafting their activities lists , taking advantage of their free time before the demands of the school year ramp up. By using this time to strategize and thoughtfully map out your activities list, you can put your best foot forward to Ivy League admissions officers and distinguish yourself in a sea of talented applicants. Here are three key strategies to ensure that your activities list showcases your talents and stands out to top schools:

1. Use your Activities List to Demonstrate Your Hook

Every element of a student’s application, from their essays to their transcript and letters of recommendation, should coalesce around their “hook”—and the activities list is no different. A hook is a unique passion, skill, or area of interest that a student hones over the course of their high school career; it is the special X factor that sets them apart from the pack. While your essays tell admissions officers about your passions in your unique voice, your activities list provides an overview of how you have spent your time over the past four years, each activity acting as a piece of a puzzle that tells your broader story. As such, it is critical that students use their activities list to clearly convey their core passion and show how they have engaged with it in tangible ways.

For example, if your hook is in biomolecular sciences and cancer research, you should be able to demonstrate that interest through activities like working as a professor’s research assistant at a medical school or research institute, taking related classes at a college or university, or writing about cancer research-related topics in your school newspaper. Alternatively, if your hook is in environmental advocacy, your list should include activities such as leading a local environmental club, organizing community clean-up events, or conducting research on sustainable practices. This coherence not only makes your application more compelling, but also works in support of your long-term goals and informs the unique perspective you bring as a candidate.

2. Be Specific About Your Contributions

Admissions officers not only want to see what activities students have been involved in, but also how they actively contributed as group members and leaders. The language you use in your activities list can significantly influence how your involvement is understood. Therefore, when describing each activity, be specific about your role and the impact you made. Instead of simply stating that you were a member of the debate team, highlight your achievements, such as winning regional championships or mentoring five junior members. Use quantifiable data to underscore your impact wherever possible. For instance, “Organized a charity run that raised $5,000 for local shelters" is more impressive and informative than “Organized a charity run.” This level of detail will allow the admissions committee to understand the breadth and depth of your involvement, which can go a long way in distinguishing you from other applicants who participated in similar activities.

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Additionally, active language conveys enthusiasm, initiative, and leadership. Verbs such as “spearheaded,” “executed,” “developed,” “launched,” “advocated,” and “strategized” paint a vivid picture of your initiative and drive. Likewise, avoid passive phrases like “was responsible for” or “helped with,” as they can minimize the significance of your contributions. Using dynamic and active verbs also enhances the readability of your activities list, making it more engaging and memorable for admissions officers.

3. List Your Activities in a Strategic Order

Many students assume that they should list their activities in order of the amount of time they have devoted to each activity, from most to least. However, students should note that the Common App indicates: “Please list your activities in the order of their importance to you.” This means that even if you are a varsity athlete who trains 20+ hours a week, if you plan to apply as a STEM major, you might prioritize listing your research endeavors and internships higher up on your list than your athletic achievements. For instance, you could list your groundbreaking summer research project first, followed by an internship at a tech company, placing your training sessions further down the list. This strategy ensures that your activities list reflects your personal priorities and aligns with your intended major and career goals.

Approaching the activities list with strategy, thoughtful reflection, and a clear sense of one’s central passion will allow students to put their best foot forward to admissions officers at Ivy League and other top schools. Using the remainder of the summer to get ahead on the activities list will give students the time they need to ensure that this component of their application is polished and catches admissions officers’ eyes.

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Mark Cuban says the 2024 election is coming down to Ivy League insiders versus outsiders

• Oops! Something went wrong. Please try again later. More content below

Kamala Harris and Tim Walz didn't attend Ivy League schools like Donald Trump and JD Vance.

But Mark Cuban thinks that is actually a plus for the Harris-Walz presidential ticket.

The billionaire said that people just "want to vote for normal people they can relate to."

The 2024 presidential election is shaping up to be a smackdown between Ivy League insiders and outsiders, the "Shark Tank" star Mark Cuban said on Tuesday.

"This is the public school kids vs the Ivy League and it shows in how they all act," Cuban wrote in an X post after Vice President Kamala Harris announced Gov. Tim Walz of Minnesota as her running mate on Tuesday.

Former President Donald Trump graduated from the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School in 1968. His running mate, Sen. JD Vance of Ohio, graduated from The Ohio State University in 2009 and Yale Law School in 2013.

Harris and Walz, on the other hand, didn't go to Ivy League colleges.

Harris earned her bachelor's degree at Howard University , a historically black college, in 1986. She went on to earn her law degree at UC Hastings , which has since been renamed to UC Law, in 1989.

Walz pursued his undergraduate education at Chadron State College , a small public college in Nebraska, and graduated in 1989. He later earned a master's degree from Minnesota State University, Mankato, in 2001.

Cuban would later acknowledge that calling the matchup a fight between public schools and the Ivy League wasn't wholly accurate, given that Howard University is a private college and Vance is an Ohio State alum.

But while most would assume that an Ivy League education would be a plus among voters, Cuban says that Harris and Walz's relatability would serve them well.

"People are tired of the ideologues and hate from both parties. They want to vote for normal people they can relate to. Walz can sit at the kitchen table and make you feel like you have known him forever," Cuban wrote in a separate X post .

Cuban declined to comment further on his posts when contacted by Business Insider.

Since entering politics, Vance has been trying to distance himself from his college years at an elite institution.

Vance, who wrote in his memoir that graduating from Yale is the "coolest thing" he has ever done, ripped the US higher education system during his keynote address at the National Conservatism Conference in 2021.

"How ridiculous is it that we tell our young people to go to college to get brainwashed?" Vance said then.

"We have got to get out of the mindset that the only way to live a good life in this country, the only way for our children to succeed, is to go to a four-year university where people will learn to hate their country and acquire a lot of debt in the process," he said.

On the other hand, Trump has been more than eager to flaunt his educational credentials and smarts.

The property mogul once touted his Wharton education as " super genius stuff " and often mentions his late uncle,  John Trump,  who was an MIT faculty member, during rallies.

"Same genes. We have genes. We're smart people," Trump told rallygoers in Las Vegas in January. "We're like racehorses, too. You know, the fast ones produce the fast ones, and the slow ones, well it doesn't work out so well, right?"

Representatives for the Harris and Trump campaigns didn't immediately respond to requests for comment from Business Insider sent outside regular business hours.

Read the original article on Business Insider

JD Vance vs. Tim Walz: How do the VP nominees’ credentials stack up?

• Updated: Aug. 08, 2024, 11:26 a.m.
• | Published: Aug. 06, 2024, 10:37 a.m.

U.S. Sen. JD Vance, an Ohio Republican, and Democratic Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz are their party's nominees for vice-president. Associated Press photos

• Sabrina Eaton, cleveland.com

This story has been amended to clarify Walz’s military record.

WASHINGTON, D. C. - Democratic presidential candidate Kamala Harris on Tuesday picked Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz to serve as her vice-presidential running mate , describing him as “a battle tested leader who has an incredible track record of getting things done.

“I know that he will bring that same principled leadership to our campaign, and to the office of the vice president,” Harris said in a text message to supporters.

The pick highlights the importance of Great Lakes swing states in November’s election. Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump won in nearby Michigan and Wisconsin in 2016 and lost them in 2020. He’s hoping to win those states in November, and also has said he’s targeting Minnesota, which voted Democratic in the past two presidential elections.

Walz and U.S. Sen. JD Vance, a Cincinnati Republican who is the GOP vice-presidential nominee, both hail from states in that region, although Ohio is considered solidly behind Trump. Ohio Democratic Party Chair Liz Walters referenced Walz’s ties to the region in a statement she issued after the news came out Tuesday.

“Governor Walz is a proven fighter for working families who has spent his time in office cementing Minnesota as a state that leads in abortion rights, workers rights, and so much more. I’m looking forward to seeing him represent Midwest Democrats as he hits the campaign trail with Vice President Harris,” Walters said. “He knows what it’s like to set a bold vision for the future and deliver on those promises. The contrast in this race is clear between Governor Walz and JD Vance, whose vision of the future only includes himself.”

Ohio Republican Party Chair Alex M. Triantafilou issued his own statement that said Walz “has been, and will continue to be, a rubber stamp for Kamala Harris and Joe Biden’s radical agenda that has crushed Ohio’s middle class families.

“Ohioans continue to vote for Republicans because Democrats continue to make choices like picking Tim Walz – an out-of-touch, far left governor who is not looking out for everyday Americans,” Triantafilou’s statement continued.

Walz, a former high-school football coach, is known for his folksy demeanor and delivery, compared to Vance, who has an Ivy League law degree and is considered a prominent conservative political intellectual. Walz is the one who first applied the now-viral term “weird” to the GOP ticket in a July MSNBC interview.

“These guys are just weird,” said Walz. “They’re running for he-man women haters club, or something.”

In that same interview Walz questioned whether Vance is truly representative of the Midwest, and said he expects Harris to unite the country around shared values, strong public schools, health care that’s affordable and accessible and strong labor unions that create a solid middle class.

“He gets it all wrong,” Walz said of Vance’s take on the Midwest. “It’s not about hate. It’s not about collapsing in. The golden rule there is ‘mind your own damn business.’ Their policies are what destroyed rural America. They’ve divided us. They’re in our exam rooms. They’re telling us what books to read.”

Trump chose Vance to be his running mate on July 15, by releasing a social media post that praised Vance’s “very successful business career in Technology and Finance, and now, during the Campaign, will be strongly focused on the people he fought so brilliantly for, the American Workers and Farmers in Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin, Ohio, Minnesota, and far beyond.”

Vance repeatedly has said Harris’ running mate pick wouldn’t matter, and his campaign will focus on Harris’ record and policies.

“Whoever she chooses, the problem is going to be Kamala Harris’s record and Kamala Harris’s policies,” Vance told Fox News earlier this week. “The American people are suffering because Kamala Harris keeps on making bad decisions.”

In a Full Send podcast interview released this month, Vance said he didn’t know anything about Walz except “he seems really angry.”

“As much as this hit to my ego, people are going to vote primarily for Donald Trump or for Kamala Harris,” he continued. “That’s the way these things go and I think my job over the next few months is to just drive home the message that Kamala Harris has been a bad vice president she’d be a worse president.”

Vance told reporters after the pick that he’d left Walz a congratulatory voicemail.

“Maybe he’ll call me back, maybe he won’t,” said Vance.

At a campaign appearance in Philadelphia, he said that he and Walz are similar ”in that we’re white guys from the Midwest,” but said they’ve got different ideas about how best to serve people. He said he wants to debate Walz after Walz is confirmed as the party’s nominee.

“He is the double down choice for failed leadership,” said Vance. “Kamala Harris selected him, I don’t know why, but I think it’s because she’s fundamentally a radical herself, and she wanted a partner in crime.”

Here’s how Vance and Walz’s resumes stack up:

AGE : Waltz is 60. Vance turned 40 on August 2. If elected, he’d be one of the youngest vice-presidents in U.S. history. James Buchanan’s vice-president, John Breckenridge, was the youngest at age 36. Others in their early 40s include Richard Nixon, who became vice-president at age 40, Dan Quayle, who became vice-president at age 41, and Teddy Roosevelt, who became vice-president at age 42.

HOMETOWN: Vance grew up in Middletown, Ohio and currently resides in Cincinnati. Walz was born in West Point, Nebraska and currently lives in St. Paul, Minnesota.

EDUCATION: Walz graduated from Butte High School, in Butte, Nebraska in 1982, got a social science degree from Nebraska’s Chadron State College in 1989, and earned a masters’ degree in educational leadership from Minnesota State University, Mankato in 2001.

Vance is a 2003 graduate of Middletown High School. He earned a bachelor’s degree in political science and philosophy from Ohio State University in 2009, and graduated from Yale University Law School in 2013.

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MILITARY SERVICE : Vance enlisted in the U.S. Marines after high school, and served in Iraq as a public affairs representative.

Walz spent 24 years in the Army National Guard, rising to Command Sergeant Major before retiring from the 125th Field Artillery Battalion in 2005. During his time in the military, Walz served in Italy with his battalion in support of Operation Enduring Freedom, the Afghanistan War.

CAREER PATH : After graduating from college, Walz worked as a high school teacher and coach.

After graduating from law school, Vance worked briefly for the multinational law firm Sidley Austin LLP. He moved to the San Francisco area and worked as a venture capitalist before starting his own firm, Ohio-based Narya Capital Management. He gained widespread attention for his 2016 bestselling autobiography,” Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis .” A film version of the book came out on Netflix in 2020.

PUBLIC OFFICES HELD : Ohio voters elected Vance to serve in the U.S. Senate in 2022, in his first-ever bid for public office.

Walz was elected Minnesota’s governor in 2018 and won re-election in 2022. Before that, he served six terms in the U.S. House of Representatives, first getting elected in 2006.

FAMILY : Vance married his Yale Law School classmate, Usha Chilukuri , in 2014. They have three children.

Walz married a fellow teacher, Gwen Whipple, in 1994. They have two children.

Stories by Sabrina Eaton

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Sabrina Eaton writes about the federal government and politics in Washington, D.C., for cleveland.com and The Plain Dealer.

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Project 2025’s new leader Kevin Roberts postpones his own book launch until after the election

FILE - Kevin Roberts, president of The Heritage Foundation, speaks at the 2023 Margaret Thatcher Freedom Lecture in Washington, April 12, 2023. Roberts said Thursday, July 18, 2024, that most political violence committed in the U.S. in the past 25 years was the work of left-wing groups or individuals. But 2022 research shows that right-wing extremists are actually more likely to commit violence. (AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite, File)

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WASHINGTON (AP) — As Project 2025 hits turmoil , the head of the influential, far-right Heritage Foundation is postponing the release of his potentially fiery new book until after the November presidential election .

Kevin Roberts, who took over Project 2025 as part of a leadership shake-up amid blowback over its recommendations for a potential Donald Trump White House, said Wednesday he is focused on defeating presumptive Democratic nominee Kamala Harris . Trump’s running mate JD Vance penned the forward to Roberts’ book.

“There’s a time for writing, reading, and book tours — and a time to put down the books and go fight like hell to take back our country,” said Roberts, the president of Heritage Action who has been mentioned as a potential chief of staff in a Trump White House, in a statement.

“That’s why I’ve chosen to move my book’s publication and promotion to after the election,” he said. The Real Clear Politics news site first reported the decision.

Orchestrated by Heritage, Project 2025 is an ultra-conservative blueprint for the next Republican White House, with startling proposals that include firing large swaths of the federal government workforce and disassembling longstanding agencies, including the Justice Department.

Trump has said the outside group doesn’t speak for his campaign, but many of his most trusted former White House officials are architects of the plan and are preparing for a second Trump administration. Even before Harris emerged to replace President Joe Biden atop the party ticket, Democrats campaigned vigorously against Project 2025, portraying it as a buzzword for GOP extremism.

Roberts’ book “Dawn’s Early Light,” was due out in September. It outlines a vision for what its publisher calls “ a peaceful ‘Second American Revolution’ .”

The publisher’s description says the book identifies institutions that conservatives need to build or to take back, adding that some are “too corrupt to save.” Among those it lists are Ivy League colleges, the FBI, the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, the Department of Education and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

Vance, in the forward , quotes Roberts as saying that when twilight descends and a person hears wolves, “You’ve got to circle the wagons and load the muskets.”

“We are now all realizing that it’s time to circle the wagons and load the muskets,” Vance adds. “In the fights that lay ahead, these ideas are an essential weapon.”

A Vance spokesperson has said the forward has nothing to do with Project 2025 and that the senator has no involvement and “plenty of disagreements with what they’re calling for.”

The postponement of the book comes the day after Harris tapped Tim Walz , the Minnesota governor, as her running mate, invigorating a campaign that has roused Democrats in the short few weeks since Biden stepped aside.

Walz has transformed the political conversation by simply declaring Republicans “weird.”

Harris for President spokesperson Sarafina Chitika said, “Trump, Vance and their Project 2025 allies can try and hide the ball from the American people, but voters know where they stand — and that they’re trying desperately to drag us backward.”

At the same time, House Democrats who launched a Project 2025 task force are asking Roberts to meet with members of Congress as they more deeply probe the proposal.

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Rep. Jared Huffman of California and Rep. Ayanna Pressley of Massachusetts said in a letter this week that it’s “time to stop hiding the ball on what we are concerned could very well be the most radical, extreme, and dangerous parts of Project 2025.”

While the Democrats, as the minority in the House have no authority to compel Roberts to come forward, they are using their perch to raise awareness of the project, and particularly its so-called fourth pillar — a 180-day action plan for the next administration that Project 2025 has drafted but not yet released.

“Allow the American people to see it and scrutinize it,” the lawmakers wrote.

Heritage has not said whether Roberts will respond to the House lawmakers’ request.

Roberts, in his statement Wednesday, said the Democrats are “more radical than ever” with Harris’ agenda. He said conservatives are “fully committed to focusing our efforts on helping defeat the left at the ballot box.”

Project 2025 recently underwent its own shakeup as its director, Paul Dans abruptly exited last week amid the Trump campaign’s efforts to distance itself from the group and its proposals.

Roberts said he was taking over Project 2025 and assured its work would continue.

Olympic swimmers, cancer survivor, team up to make waves against cancer at Castle Island in South Boston

Two Olympic swimmers and a cancer survivor teamed up with hundreds of others to make waves against cancer during the 29th annual Swim Across America - Boston open water swim on Castle Island in South Boston on Saturday.

Swimmers, including cancer survivor Rick Osterberg of Boston,1988 Olympian Janel Jorgensen McArdle of Boston, and 2012 Olympian Alex Meyer, had the option to swim a half mile, one mile, and two-mile swim routes, while a Kids’ Splash was held for those under age 8, Swim Across America said in a statement.

Some 190 swimmers took part in the morning swim on Castle Island at Pleasure Bay. Money raised will be donated to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and Mass General Cancer Center.

McArdle won a silver medal in the women’s 4x100-meter medley relay when she participated in the Olympics in Seoul, the organization said. She is now the chief operating officer of Swim Across America.

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Meyer competed at the 2012 London Olympics. He also swam at Harvard University, where he was two-time All-Ivy League selection. He majored in human evolutionary biology at the Cambridge school, the statement said.

Osterberg had been a longtime volunteer for Swim Across America when he was diagnosed with stage three colon cancer in 2018, the statement said. After his diagnosis, he became more involved with the organization and his efforts were became more personal.

“Thanks to an immunotherapy treatment funded by Swim Across America, Rick is now in remission and continues to swim and volunteer to support cancer research,” the statement said. “His story is a powerful testament to the impact of Swim Across America’s fundraising efforts.”

The event has raised more than $7 million for the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and Mass General Cancer Center over the nearly three decades since it began, the statement said.

Nationally, Swim Across America has raised more than $100 million since its founding in 1987, and have contributed to the development of lifesaving cancer immunotherapy treatments.

“This event is not just a swim but a powerful movement to give hope to those fighting cancer,” the statement said.

John Tlumacki of the Globe Staff contributed to this story.

Adam Sennott can be reached at [email protected] .