essay life after matric

Life after Matric

You’ve passed grade 12 and the whole world lies ahead. what’s next.

It feels like your whole life has been leading up to the last day of high school, right? Twelve years of schooling and you’re finally set to start living freely, following your own path, and reaching your life’s goals. While hearing that school bell ring for the last time is no doubt something you have been looking forward to, it is also quite normal to feel a little bit confused, stressed and even overwhelmed about what comes next.

It’s possible that the thought of choosing a career and starting at university feels daunting, or that you haven’t yet made up your mind about exactly what it is that you want to do for the rest of your life. And that’s all okay. Part of life after Matric is knowing that life is a journey, not a destination. And much like any journey, there could be some bumps and detours along the way – the trick is learning, growing, and enjoying the process. Here are a few ideas on how to get started on the ride that is life after Matric:

1.   Pursue further studies

The most commonly pursued post-Matric option is starting tertiary studies at a university or college straight after Grade 12. You’ll likely know all about this option already, but what you may not know are the challenges you may face after leaving school and pursuing your degree, diploma or certification.

Firstly, you may not have achieved the marks needed to attend the university you want, or for the courses you want to take. This is not the end of the world, promise! You could rewrite the subjects required. Investigate taking a bridging course, or even consider a different course or tertiary institution altogether. Ask advice from a past teacher or from the university or college you’ve applied to for more information on what you should do.

If you aren’t able to attend the university you wanted to, there are other study options open to you. Consider distance learning, a private college, or FET college to get started. However, always make sure that the institution you are interested in is properly accredited with the necessary educational bodies.

And if you do start at varsity and feel like it’s just not for you, or that you’d rather investigate a different career path, that’s okay too. Deciding what to study and work in for the rest of your life is a big one, and we don’t all get it right the first time around. 30 to 40% of students drop out of their first year at university in SA.

2.   Find a mentor

Remember that ‘life is a journey’ thing we mentioned? Well, it’s not a journey you have to take all by yourself. Having the support, insight, and guidance of a mentor can help you in the decisions you’ll be making now. This should be someone who has some life experience and who you can trust and depend on. Consider approaching a senior member of your community, a life coach, or even a person in the career field you’re interested in to become a mentor for you.

3.   Look into an internship or learnership

There’s also a possibility that you could work while learning and studying on the job. This is called a learnership (sometimes an internship) and occurs through one of the 21 SETAs (Sector Education and Training Authorities). This means that you work in a specific field, learn while you go, and undertake studies, all while being paid a small salary, which is called a stipend. Look here for more on this.

4.   Consider a gap year

If the pressure of deciding on a career path and life goals right now feels like too much, you don’t have to decide right now. You could consider taking a gap year. But be warned: this is not the time for you to sleep late or play video games all day! The best way to use this time to its full potential is to spend it productively.

This could be traveling and working in another country, as many SA youths spend time abroad working as waiters, au pairs, nannies, etc. This is a great way to explore the broader world while learning how to be self-sufficient and figure out a few things on the way. Look at some opportunities at CCUSA as a start.

You could also do this locally, so look around for work opportunities or even volunteering options. South Africa has many NGOs that need keen helpers. These could be close to home, or even in another city or province to give you a chance to spread your wings a bit.

5.   Whatever you do, do it for yourself

If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that life is all about change. No matter what you end up deciding to do after Matric (or however many bumps there are in the road ahead), do it because it’s something you want, and not because it’s what society or your loved ones deem acceptable. The biggest part of the journey that lies ahead is that it is yours.

https://www.postmatric.co.za/guidance-where-to-next-plan-your-future/

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Life After Matric

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What’s next: A guide to life after matric

You’ve made it through high school and are about to write your final matric exams. While it feels great to finally be approaching the end of your secondary school journey, you can’t help but feel a little anxious about what the future holds.

Where to from here? Should you continue studying or gain practical experience in the workplace? Do you have what it takes to be a young entrepreneur? Will someone hire you straight out of school with no experience?

Nelly Mofokeng, managing director at JA South Africa , says these are just some of the hair-raising questions that school-leavers are often faced with, but it’s important to remember that there are a range of options available to you, even if you aren’t going to be attending university.

Go into a trade

Studying further does not always mean going to university. An option is to go into a trade and take a course at a technical institution like a TVET college. These are often linked to practical work experience programmes in fields such as hairdressing, electrical work or motor mechanics, which can lead to employment once you obtain the necessary certification. There are also workplace apprenticeships that school-leavers can apply for, which can give you the advantage of earning an income while learning a trade.

Pro tip: Applying for a learnership or getting a foot in the door of a company that offers apprenticeships requires a well-written, error-free CV, so make sure you take the time to work on developing one. Customise your CV based on where you’re applying so make sure you do some research into each option to find the best way to approach them.

Find a nine to five

Anyone who has tried to find work straight out of school will attest to how difficult it can be, especially when many employers require candidates to have a certain amount of work experience. However, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to land a job. A few ways you can go about finding a skill-level appropriate job include searching on job-listing websites like Indeed and Bizcommunity , and posting on social media.

Pro tip: Clean up your social media presence to ensure prospective employers aren’t put off hiring you after seeing any inappropriate content. It’s also a good idea to create a LinkedIn profile (or update your existing one) that includes all your current school and work experience, as well any skills you may have.

Be your own boss

Starting a business is no walk in the park, but the world of entrepreneurship is filled with life-changing opportunities for those willing to work hard and dedicate their time and effort to growing a successful venture. You don’t necessarily have to have a lot of money or resources to start with – some of the world’s most successful businesses started off small. All you need is an idea – something that fulfils a particular need – and the determination to learn, and see it through. It’s tough, but certainly not impossible.

Pro tip: Start small and make Christmas cards or treats that you can sell leading up to the festive season. Also, consider finding a successful and experienced entrepreneur in your community to help mentor and guide you through the process of starting and growing a business.

Reaching the end of your final year of high school can be scary, but it’s important to remember that there’s more than one option available to you, provided you put in the time, effort and a little bit of creativity to make it work.

To find out more about JA South Africa, visit www.jasa.org.za .

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• Mindset Network
• Life After Matric - How to Decide

This month, hundreds of thousands of young South African are sitting the most important exams of their schooling years. But the pressures at this time are a lot more than the stresses of studying and the anxieties about how they are going to perform. It is also a time of facing incredible uncertainties about the huge life-changes that are looming up ahead and the big decisions that need to be made about their lives after matric. We put Samantha Pretorius, Counselling Psychologist and Head of Programme at SACAP (the South African College of Applied Psychology) on the couch to answer burning questions from South African matriculants and parents about how best to make these all-important decisions: What’s the best way to make a decision that will affect the rest of my life? It is incredibly daunting for a 17 or 18 year old to think that they are making a decision that will affect the rest of their life. It helps to settle the fears by going through the process of making a holistic decision that takes into account everything that you know about yourself. To begin that process you need to gather all the information you can about yourself; consider, reflect on and know your skills, values, passions, talents and abilities really well. During this information-gathering phase it also helps to consult with people you trust and have your best interests at heart. Those might be your parents, teachers, other family members or select peers. Find out from them what they perceive about your skills, values, passions, talents and abilities and consider their feedback. You can then start to identify career fields that you are aligned to. Make sure you have an understanding of the different kinds of career opportunities that may be available to you in those fields once you have graduated from further studies. If you struggle to find the resources to go through this process alone you can go through a career counselling process with a psychologist who will collaborate with you and help you through this process. This could include psychometric testing which can be a reassuring confirmation of what you already know or provide new insights that you have not considered before. What if I make the wrong choice? It may seem right now that your life itself hangs in the balance with the answer to the question: ‘What will you do after matric?’ It is important to remember that while it is possible that you may not make the so-called ‘perfect’ choice initially, even a ‘wrong’ decision results in invaluable learning. For instance, if you now choose a particular degree and after your first year of study you are sure it is not for you, you have still gained a great year of new knowledge, skills and experience through the one year of training you have undergone. You will have still grown as a person. You need to try and see this not as a ‘waste’ of your time or of finances. More often than not, our greatest learning and most vigorous personal growth come from our ‘mistakes’. It helps to take the heat off your decision-making process to take on the perspective that a ‘wrong’ choice at this stage can be rectified in time, and you still would have gained many other skills from your experience, such as study skills, self-management skills, perhaps leadership and time management skills. There’s no doubt you would have improved your self-knowledge. This helps you to take on a more positive approach where you are willing to explore and open to changing course when you realise you need something different. What if I don't know what I want to do after Matric? Should I be taking a gap year? What is the advantage of taking one? Gap years have worked wonders for some, and others feel that it made life more difficult for them. Before you decide on a gap year, you should seek to understand how to make the most of it and then follow that recipe for success. Because the decision about what to do after matric is so daunting, a gap year can be a good option – it certainly can provide time to mature, time to gain life experience and time to grow as a person, which in turn should improve the outcomes of your decision-making process. However, a gap year in and of itself does not guarantee enhanced maturity, experience and self-growth. It does not guarantee you would work out the best thing to do next. What you choose to do with the time that a gap year affords is what can lead to greater clarity and personal development, or equally, not. Rather than leave the outcomes of a gap year to chance, you can rather define the outcomes you want and then plan how to achieve them in the time you have. The traditional gap year for South Africans has been all about travel and a specific 12–month time span, but the concept of a gap year to ‘take time out to find oneself’ can be far more flexible and adaptable to your unique needs. For instance, you can have a highly effective gap year without going anywhere, by allocating perhaps six months to do local short courses, gain work experience, intern and volunteer. On the other hand, exposure to foreign countries and cultures may well ring all your bells. It’s up to you to question, reflect on and know what would work for you, and then properly structure your gap year to achieve your goals. A gap year can also certainly help those who need to earn money before they can study. How can a parent support their matriculant to make a career decision that might not be what the parent imagined? Parents need to be as open-minded as possible so that they can acknowledge and support the individuality of their child. You can’t assume that your career path would be good for your child; or that it wouldn’t just because you did not enjoy it. Conflict with someone as influential as a parent about what to do after matric, can prevent your child from getting on a path to success that is right for them. If you have high hopes for a doctor or a lawyer in the family, and your child is passionate about graphic design, pushing your agenda can have a seriously negative impact. You have to remember that the impact of your perspective is huge. Children care what their parents think of them throughout their lives, whether they admit it or not. It is a great time to let go of the authoritarian role and instead become a fellow explorer and collaborator. Showing an interest helps so much, as does practical support such as taking them to open days at potential higher educational institutions. Parents can help with the research of different careers fields and types of jobs. They can activate their networks to find work shadow opportunities and help find bursary options. What they need to avoid at this sensitive stage is getting into power struggles. It is not helpful to be saying: ‘I’m paying for this, so you will…’ Keeping your focus on your unique child’s life satisfaction and future happiness will be a reliable guide for you as to what to do and say. It is also very important to realise that your child is part of the fast-moving, quickest-changing generation known in history. Career expectations, opportunities and trajectories have fundamentally changed over the last few decades. The goal of 3-decade long career with one company, in one industry has been completely overturned. The rate of tech-driven change is so fast that there will even be a host of different careers available straight after your child has graduated from post-school studies. The wise choice at this time is to be open-minded and collaborative. Join SACAP’s ‘On the Couch’ chat sessions on Facebook every Tuesday night on the Mindset Facebook page from 3 November, where more questions are addressed, and matriculants and parents can engage directly with experts to get the support they need over this time. For any matriculant interested in the field of psychology and counselling, SACAP offers a wide range of qualifications including (Higher Certificate, Advanced Certificate, Diploma, BAppSocSci, BPsych and BsocSci Honours) and a one-of-a-kind approach to learning: academic rigour and applied skills. Graduating confident “work ready” practitioners is key, which is why SACAP combines an academically rigorous curriculum with a strong emphasis on the ability to apply knowledge through the training of relevant skills. Registration for 2016 term one, closes at the end of January. For further information, visit: www.sacap.edu.za Issued on behalf of: SACAP Issued by: liquidlingo Communications Contact: Jackie Busch [email protected]

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Life After Matric

What you do after Matric will be very different, depending on whether you passed or failed Matric. There are many options for both. 

What Qualification Comes After Matric?

The qualifications you can choose to study will depend on the passing level you achieve at the end of Matric. Some of your options may include: 

Bachelor’s Degree

• Higher Certificate 
• NATED courses
• Accredited ICB Office Administration course

What Percentage Is A Distinction In Matric?

In South Africa, a distinction in Matric is 80% or above. This is the same throughout primary and high school. However, once you reach university-level studies, a distinction is 75% and above. 

What Are The 4 Types Of Degrees?

The four Degrees you can achieve begin at the Bachelor’s Degree level, which is NQF level 7. Each Degree goes up by an NQF level, and each Degree requires you to have the previous Degree qualification to apply: 

The qualification directly above Matric in NQF levels is a Higher Certificate. 

Which Degree Is The Highest?

The highest degree you can achieve is a Doctoral Degree. Before you can start a Doctoral Degree, you must have a Master’s Degree. 

What Level Is Diploma?

A Diploma is NQF level 6. There are 10 NQF levels starting at Grade 9 going up to a Doctoral Degree:

What Courses Can I Do After Matric?

If you passed Matric , there are a number of options available for you to study depending on how well you passed, such as: 

• Bachelor’s Degree – Bachelor’s pass
• Diploma – Diploma pass
• Higher Certificate – Higher Certificate pass
• NATED courses – NSC pass/Matric pass
• Accredited ICB Office Administration course – NSC pass/Matric pass

The different options will depend on whether you meet the APS requirement, as well as the subject requirement. You can learn how to calculate your own APS, or you can calculate it online . 

If you decide to calculate your APS online, remember to add Life Orientation in the single point bracket, no matter what your actual mark was. This is because Life Orientation does not count towards your APS. 

There are minimum requirements that must be met to be eligible to apply to study a Bachelor’s Degree. These requirements are: 

• 40% or above for your Home Language subject
• 50% or above for four subjects 
• 30% or above for two other subjects

Remember that these are only the minimum requirements and do not guarantee you entry into any Bachelor’s Degree course. Some courses also have higher requirements or specific subject requirements. Check with the university you are applying to for any additional requirements. 

You can apply to study a Diploma at a university if you achieve a Diploma pass or higher. The requirements to achieve a Diploma pass are as follows: 

• 40 % or above for your Home Language subject
• 40% or above for four other subjects

Remember these are the minimum requirements, and that achieving this does not guarantee your admission to any university courses. 

Higher Certificate

A Higher Certificate pass is the lowest passing level that will allow you to study at a university. The requirements for a Higher Certificate pass are: 

• 40% or above for two other subjects 
• 30% or above for three other subjects

NATED Courses

If you achieve an NSC pass/Matric pass, this means you have met the minimum requirements to pass Matric, but you do not qualify to study at a university. The minimum requirements to pass Matric are: 

• 30% or above for four other subjects

However, if you have passed Matric, you can still study a NATED course or an ICB course. NATED stands for National Accredited Technical Education Diploma. All you need to be able to apply to study any one of the seven NATED study streams is to have your Matric. 

The seven study streams are: 

Business Management

Financial management.

• Human Resource Management

Legal Secretary

Management assistant, marketing management, accredited icb office administration course.

ICB courses are accredited by both ICB (the Institute of Certified Bookkeepers) and QCTO (the Quality Council for Trades and Occupations). This means that they are recognised by potential employers as formal qualifications. ICB courses are recognised both locally and internationally. 

ICB courses aim to teach students scarce skills . These are skills that are in high demand in South Africa. This makes it more likely you will be able to get a job, and you are more likely to have better job stability. 

Office Administration

What can i do after failing matric.

There are options for you to get your Matric if you failed:

Re-check or Re-mark

Matric rewrite, matric upgrade, adult matric.

Getting a re-check or a re-mark are options available if you believe your marks should have been better. This is usually only to change your mark by one or two percent. Note that the prices listed below are valid for 2022 and are subject to change. 

A re-check costs R25 per subject. This option means that your marks will be reviewed to be sure no marks were left out, and all have been added correctly. 

A re-mark costs R104 per subject. This option is where your paper is sent back to the marking centre for the marking to be redone. 

Most times this may only change your mark by a single percent, if it changes at all. Note that your marks may not necessarily go up, they may also be brought down a percent instead. 

You can apply for any of these options at your school, or through the Department of Education . Once your paper has been re-marked or re-checked, you can also pay to view it yourself. It costs R200 per paper to do this. You may only view your paper after you have re-checked and re-marked your paper.

If you are still under the age of 21, you can do a Matric Rewrite. This is available to anyone who failed and can pass by improving the marks in four subjects or fewer, or those who passed but were unsatisfied with their results and would like to improve the marks in four subjects or fewer. 

You may rewrite a maximum of four subjects. For this reason, if you failed Matric and will still not pass after improving the marks in four subjects or fewer, you will not be allowed to rewrite. You must also rewrite subjects you wrote for your Matric final exams, you cannot change subjects. 

To apply for a Matric Rewrite, you need: 

• A copy of your Statement of Results
• A certified copy of your ID

If you are over the age of 21, you can do a Matric Upgrade . This is available to anyone who failed and would like to improve their results to a pass, or those who passed but were unsatisfied with their results and would like to improve them. 

You may upgrade as many subjects as you like. You may choose to change any or all of your elective subjects. You may apply for a Matric Upgrade as early as 19. However, you must be over the age of 21 to write the exams because you will write the Adult Matric exams. 

Adult Matric is for those over the age of 21 who did not get to complete their high school education. Once you have successfully completed your Adult Matric , you will receive a Senior Certificate (Amended) . This works exactly the same way as a school Matric. 

You can study any of these Matric programmes through distance learning. Studying your Matric online will give you the opportunity to be able to work and study at the same time. 

What Can I Study Without Matric?

If you do not have your Matric, there are still study options available to you, such as: 

• ICB courses 
• Short courses

ICB Courses

There are two ICB courses you can choose to study without Matric:

Financial Accounting

To study the ICB Business Management course, you only need Grade 11. This course has three levels, beginning at a Matric Equivalent and going up to the Diploma level. 

To study the ICB Financial Accounting course, you only need Grade 10. This course has four levels, beginning at Grade 11 equivalent, and going up to the Diploma level. The second level of this course is a Matric Equivalent . 

Where Can I Study ICB Courses?

There are many places you can study ICB courses. Some reputable distance learning colleges that offer these ICB courses are: 

• Bellview Institute of Distance Learning
• Matric College
• Skills Academy
• Ember Academy
• Learning Group

Short Courses

There are also many short courses offered at four of the above colleges

Short Courses At Matric College

• Beauty Therapy courses
• Educare & Child Care courses
• Event & Wedding Planning courses
• Tourism & Guest House courses

Short Courses At Skills Academy

• Accounting, Bookkeeping And Finance
• Computer Courses
• Educare And Childcare
• Forensics And Policing
• Insurance Courses
• Interior Decorating and Design, and Digital Photography
• Management Courses
• Occupational Health and Safety
• Project Management
• Wedding And Events Planning

Short Courses At Ember Academy

• Beauty Therapist Programmes
• Child Daycare Programme
• Child Psychology Programme
• Crèche Management Programme
• Digital Photography Programme
• Event Management Programme
• Facial Skincare Programme
• Guest House Management Programme
• Human Resource Management Programme
• Make-up Application Programme
• Nail Care Programme
• Operational Health and Safety Programme
• Personal Assistant Programme
• Project Management Programme
• Receptionist Courses
• Supply Chain Management Programme
• Tourism Management Programme
• Tourism Marketing Programme
• Wedding Planner Programme

Short Courses At Learning Group

• Beauty Therapy
• Creative Writing
• Digital Photography
• Interior Decorating and Design
• Wedding Planning

Can You Go To University Without Matric?

No, you cannot go to university without Matric. All universities require you to have Matric to be eligible to apply. Other requirements needed are specific pass levels for the different qualifications, and specific APS requirements. The requirements are as follows:

Can I Work After Matric?

Yes, you can. There are some skills-based work positions that you can get into by doing an internship or apprenticeship with the company. If you would like to work, look for companies that offer internships. 

What Have We Learned?

• There are many work and study opportunities after Matric, regardless of whether you passed or failed
• The qualification immediately above Matric in NQF levels is a Higher Certificate
• A distinction in Matric in South Africa is 80% and above
• A Diploma is NQF level 6. The highest Degree you can get is a Doctoral Degree, which is NQF level 10
• There are four passing levels in Matric, the highest being a Bachelor’s Degree pass
• There are four types of Degrees, the lowest being a Bachelor’s Degree
• If you passed Matric but did not get into a university, you can study any NATED course, or the ICB Office Administration course
• You can start working straight after Matric
• If you did not pass Matric, there are still many study options available to you
• You cannot go to university without Matric. 

Author: Chloe Bydawell Editor: Razeen Dollie Date: June 9, 2022

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• Testimonials

Life After Matric – How To Decide

• by Parenting Hub - November 9, 2015
• Parenting Hub
• Category Advice Column, Education, Mainstream Education, Tween & Teen Advice

This month, hundreds of thousands of young South African are sitting the most important exams of their schooling years.  But the pressures at this time are a lot more than the stresses of studying and the anxieties about how they are going to perform.  It is also a time of facing incredible uncertainties about the huge life-changes that are looming up ahead and the big decisions that need to be made about their lives after matric.

We put Samantha Pretorius, Counselling Psychologist and Head of Programme at SACAP (the South African College of Applied Psychology) on the couch to answer burning questions from South African matriculants and parents about how best to make these all-important decisions:

How can a parent support their matriculant to make a career decision that might not be what the parent imagined?

Parents need to be as open-minded as possible so that they can acknowledge and support the individuality of their child.  You can’t assume that your career path would be good for your child; or that it wouldn’t just because you did not enjoy it.  Conflict with someone as influential as a parent about what to do after matric, can prevent your child from getting on a path to success that is right for them.  If you have high hopes for a doctor or a lawyer in the family, and your child is passionate about graphic design, pushing your agenda can have a seriously negative impact. You have to remember that the impact of your perspective is huge.  Children care what their parents think of them throughout their lives, whether they admit it or not.  It is a great time to let go of the authoritarian role and instead become a fellow explorer and collaborator.  Showing an interest helps so much, as does practical support such as taking them to open days at potential higher educational institutions.  Parents can help with the research of different careers fields and types of jobs.  They can activate their networks to find work shadow opportunities and help find bursary options.  What they need to avoid at this sensitive stage is getting into power struggles.  It is not helpful to be saying: ‘I’m paying for this, so you will…’  Keeping your focus on your unique child’s life satisfaction and future happiness will be a reliable guide for you as to what to do and say.  It is also very important to realise that your child is part of the fast-moving, quickest-changing generation known in history.  Career expectations, opportunities and trajectories have fundamentally changed over the last few decades.  The goal of 3-decade long career with one company, in one industry has been completely overturned.  The rate of tech-driven change is so fast that there will even be a host of different careers available straight after your child has graduated from post-school studies.  The wise choice at this time is to be open-minded and collaborative.

What’s the best way to make a decision that will affect the rest of my life?

It is incredibly daunting for a 17 or 18 year old to think that they are making a decision that will affect the rest of their life.  It helps to settle the fears by going through the process of making a holistic decision that takes into account everything that you know about yourself.  To begin that process you need to gather all the information you can about yourself; consider, reflect on and know your skills, values, passions, talents and abilities really well.  During this information-gathering phase it also helps to consult with people you trust and have your best interests at heart.  Those might be your parents, teachers, other family members or select peers.  Find out from them what they perceive about your skills, values, passions, talents and abilities and consider their feedback.   You can then start to identify career fields that you are aligned to.  Make sure you have an understanding of the different kinds of career opportunities that may be available to you in those fields once you have graduated from further studies. If you struggle to find the resources to go through this process alone you can go through a career counselling process with a psychologist who will collaborate with you and help you through this process. This could include psychometric testing which can be a reassuring confirmation of what you already know or provide new insights that you have not considered before.

What if I make the wrong choice?

It may seem right now that your life itself hangs in the balance with the answer to the question: ‘What will you do after matric?’  It is important to remember that while it is possible that you may not make the so-called ‘perfect’ choice initially, even a ‘wrong’ decision results in invaluable learning.  For instance, if you now choose a particular degree and after your first year of study you are sure it is not for you, you have still gained a great year of new knowledge, skills and experience through the one year of training you have undergone.  You will have still grown as a person.  You need to try and see this not as a ‘waste’ of your time or of finances.  More often than not, our greatest learning and most vigorous personal growth come from our ‘mistakes’.  It helps to take the heat off your decision-making process to take on the perspective that a ‘wrong’ choice at this stage can be rectified in time, and you still would have gained many other skills from your experience, such as study skills, self-management skills, perhaps leadership and time management skills.  There’s no doubt you would have improved your self-knowledge.  This helps you to take on a more positive approach where you are willing to explore and open to changing course when you realise you need something different.

What if I don’t know what I want to do after Matric? Should I be taking a gap year? What is the advantage of taking one?

Gap years have worked wonders for some, and others feel that it made life more difficult for them.  Before you decide on a gap year, you should seek to understand how to make the most of it and then follow that recipe for success.  Because the decision about what to do after matric is so daunting, a gap year can be a good option – it certainly can provide time to mature, time to gain life experience and time to grow as a person, which in turn should improve the outcomes of your decision-making process.  However, a gap year in and of itself does not guarantee enhanced maturity, experience and self-growth.  It does not guarantee you would work out the best thing to do next.  What you choose to do with the time that a gap year affords is what can lead to greater clarity and personal development, or equally, not.  Rather than leave the outcomes of a gap year to chance, you can rather define the outcomes you want and then plan how to achieve them in the time you have.  The traditional gap year for South Africans has been all about travel and a specific 12–month time span, but the concept of a gap year to ‘take time out to find oneself’ can be far more flexible and adaptable to your unique needs.  For instance, you can have a highly effective gap year without going anywhere, by allocating perhaps six months to do local short courses, gain work experience, intern and volunteer.  On the other hand, exposure to foreign countries and cultures may well ring all your bells.  It’s up to you to question, reflect on and know what would work for you, and then properly structure your gap year to achieve your goals.  A gap year can also certainly help those who need to earn money before they can study.

Join SACAP’s ‘On the Couch’ chat sessions on Facebook every Wednesday night on the Mindset Facebook page from 4 November, where more questions are addressed, and matriculants and parents can engage directly with experts to get the support they need over this time.

For any matriculant interested in the field of psychology and counselling, SACAP offers a wide range of qualifications including (Higher Certificate, Advanced Certificate, Diploma, BAppSocSci, BPsych and BsocSci Honours) and a one-of-a-kind approach to learning: academic rigour and applied skills. Graduating confident “work ready” practitioners is key, which is why SACAP combines an academically rigorous curriculum with a strong emphasis on the ability to apply knowledge through the training of relevant skills. Registration for 2016 term one, closes at the end of January. For further information, visit: www.sacap.edu.za

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LIFE AFTER MATRIC: Life’s a journey…

2008 marks the year I completed my matric. The year was full of confusion and excitement as anticipated for most matriculants. Personally I felt like a failure. I had not done as well as I anticipated, and I really wasn’t sure what marks to expect. I did send out my applications, as early as from July. In January 2009, we were eager matriculants running to varsity institutions to submit our marks to secure our spots. But I was one of those who were rejected in all places, all because it was full. I thought I wanted to be a Biochemist, or a doctor. The rejection just gave me time off to think, a gap year that was not planned and was the hardest of my life.

Boredom was heavy on me, while listening to friends experiencing first year on social media. I enrolled for a short computer course which I didn’t enjoy but did learn a few things. I travelled a little, but still the emptiness inside, the desire to just go ahead with my studies ate me alive. I am a Christian and this means my Faith is in God. I pray, in good times or bad times, faith keeps me going but at this point that too was hard. Praying, believing. I started to believe every negative word ever spoken to me, I felt I had failed. Not just did I fail myself, but my family too. 

A year later, I’m enrolling at one of the best universities in the country, UCT, studying towards a BSc in Chemistry. I only spent three years at UCT, and though things were perfect, all I had to do was work hard to get my degree, I lost it. The passion, the desire, I hated what I studied. Somehow I felt dead inside. I know its only a few who can relate to this, much as I tried explaining to my parents, they did not get it. All they wanted was for me to hold on and finish. But it wasn’t gonna happen, not that way. I was not even giving 50% into my studies. It wasn’t me. I did my research and really inquired, sought help, and decided to start over. One of the hardest decisions I had to make. And I had a team around me that supported me through the change. 

6years later, in just a couple of months, I will complete my first degree, in Industrial Sociology. I took long, but this too is not a unique story. Many share the same fate. While some finish their degrees well in the prescribed years, others take a while due to a lot of factors that contribute to their progress. For me I needed to find myself, to know who I want to be, and find a way to link my passion with my degree. I’m so glad I persevered through this journey. My degree is not just a paper that marks my academic record, to me it marks the journey, since 2010 when admitted at UCT, to this day as I complete it via the University of Pretoria.

LAM was born through this journey. Education is a huge elephant that cannot be left to the teachers and the government alone. We are here to offer support in the best way we know how. Everyone has a different tale, but regardless we all need someone to offer us help when we need it.

Original Story from  Kefiloe Bopape’s Blog Page .

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LIFE AFTER MATRIC: HOW TO CONTINUE YOUR EDUCATION EVEN IF YOU DIDN’T PASS

The Matric exams are the most important and challenging assessments for South African learners. They are the culmination of 12 years of schooling and the gateway to higher education and career opportunities. However, not everyone who writes these exams will pass or achieve the results they hoped for. While this is a setback, those who are concerned about what their results will show come January 2024 need to know that they still have options, an education expert says.

“If you are one of those learners who did not pass Matric or did not get the exemption you needed, you may feel disappointed, discouraged, and hopeless about your future. You may think that you have no options left and that your dreams are shattered. But this is not true,” says Siyavuya Makubalo, Marketing Manager at Oxbridge Academy , a brand of ADvTECH, SA’s leading private education provider.

“There is life after Matric, and there are many ways to continue your education and improve your prospects, even if you did not pass. You do not have to give up on your goals or settle for less than you deserve. You can still pursue your passions and interests, and acquire the skills and qualifications you need to succeed in the 21st Century,” she says.

The most important first step for those worried about their results is to stay positive and remain proactive.

“Many people are unaware that there are different study options, especially vocational ones that are sought-after in the job market, that don’t need a Matric certificate. If you can bounce back from this challenge, and promise yourself to not neglect your education but instead work hard towards a goal you can be enthusiastic about, you have a formula for success on your hands.”

The following options are flexible, affordable, and accessible, and they can help you achieve your full potential:

REWRITING CERTAIN SUBJECTS

If you did badly in only one or two subjects, it is an option to rewrite those subjects you didn’t pass, or those in which you want to get higher marks.

REPEATING MATRIC

If you fail or don’t qualify for Matric exemption, you can still finish your Matric through distance learning. This option is cost-effective, can be done from your own home (which means that you don’t have to go back to school), and learning materials are easy to use and understand. If you go this route, make sure that you find a good institution with consistent support available to ensure you can make a success of your studies.

COMPLETE A BRIDGING COURSE OR SIMILAR QUALIFICATION

An Intro to N4 course is similar to a bridging course, as it allows you to advance to N4, N5 and N6. After completing N6, you can apply to the Department of Higher Education and Training for a National Diploma, provided that you have gained 18 months of relevant practical experience. Passing an N4 level qualification is equivalent to Matric, and continuing through N4 to N5 will make you more employable than someone who only has a Matric certificate.

ENROL FOR A VOCATIONAL COURSE

A vocational course will allow you to step into the job market after completion. It provides the specific skills and theoretical knowledge required in fields such as, for example, project management, health and safety, logistics and supply chain management, and contact centre operations. All of these courses can be completed without having a Matric certificate and through distance learning, which means that you can even start earning while you’re learning.

ENROL FOR AN OCCUPATIONAL CERTIFICATE

An occupational certificate is a qualification that is awarded to individuals who have demonstrated competence in a specific occupation or trade. It is a nationally recognised qualification that is based on industry standards and is designed to equip learners with the skills and knowledge needed to succeed in a particular occupation. In South Africa, occupational certificates cover almost all sectors including agriculture, business, construction, education, health, hospitality, manufacturing, mining, transport.

“While disappointing, failing or doing badly in Matric is not the end of the road for you or your aspirations,” says Makubalo.

“There are many options available to you if you did not pass Matric, or if you want to improve your results. You do not have to let your past define your future, and you can still achieve your goals and dreams, and make a positive contribution to society.”

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Life After Matric : Work, Study or Gap Year

Finishing matric is an achievement, especially if you are walking away with an exemption in your hand. But it is also the start of your life. School groomed and prepared you. Now it is time to face the real world. Deciding on what you should do after matric is dependent on a number of factors with finances and career ambitions being the two more important aspects. When there are options then it is time to seriously think about the road you should tread. For lucky matriculants it is a matter of choosing between working, furthering your studies or taking a gap year. Each has its pros and cons.

Working After Matric

Starting up in the working world immediately after completing your matric is one way to get a head start over your colleagues by building up your CV and work experience. But it is not always as simple as leaving school and starting a job. Unemployment levels in South Africa are high – around 25% of the working population. When it comes to young people, like those who have just left school, the unemployment rate is as high as 50%. So if you have a job offer in hand then it may be worth considering. But if not then you may have to face months or even years searching for a job.

Even if you do get a job after matric, think carefully about your future. Without skills in the form of a degree, your opportunities may be limited in years to come. Your current job may be fulfilling and the money may be enough for your needs as a young person, but it may not sustain you in another 10 or 20 years when your responsibilities increase. You may want to consider studying while working. Fortunately South Africans have easy access to one of the largest correspondence universities in the world – UNISA (University of South Africa).

Save up some money and enrol for a qualification that interests you. Do a few modules every semester and slowly work towards your degree. If you did not get an exemption then rewriting your matric exams may be worth considering even if you do not plan to study further thereafter.

Studying After Matric

We all know the advantages of getting a tertiary eduction. It opens doors for you for years and even decades to come. If finances permit, and so does your living situation, take the opportunity to get a university education. It gets difficult to go back to studying as you get older and the responsibilities increase in life. Getting an education is one sure way of improving your life and achieving your realistic ambitions.

Think about your choice of qualification carefully. It should involve a career which you will enjoy. While any job can be mundane in time, working in a field that you are passionate about will ensure that you are happy in life. Looking at the financial aspect is equally important – nobody wants to earn too little even if they are doing what they love. While it is difficult to consider all these situations that may arise in the future, a little research and introspection can help you choose the career that will be fulfilling for years to come.

Gap Year After Matric

Most matriculants will not have the luxury of a gap year after school. A year or two where you can travel the country or the world, work on a casual basis if necessary and enjoy the carefree life. While you will be losing a year or two before you start studying or working, the experience you gain in this time can be invaluable. It can impact the rest of your life and assist you in making better career decisions for the future. But remember that a gap year should never be indefinite or more than 2 years as it can ultimately play against you.

I am looking to take a gap year in Australia to gain work experience, I have finished my matric and am 20 this year. I also have family in Australia so looking to do something in Tourism or taking care of children or anything new and exciting. Please get back to me asap. 🙂 Melissa

I never wanted to take a gap year but my circumstance over came me.I passed my matric with a B and got 1 distinction in business studies but here I am with nothing if someone is reading this please assist.

I am about to finish my matric and I am wondering whether I do need an experience for becoming a traffic cop…if I do then what experience could that be and should I take a gap year to gain that experience?please assist as soon as possible.

I am 17 yrs old and in matric … am really worried about my future because of the situation in home , no one is working ,so how am i be able to further my studies without any financial assistance. I need your help immediately..

i want some advise.is it a good idea to take a gap year.

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Class of 2023: Navigating life after matric

Posted by Adré van der Westhuizen | Jan 19, 2024 | Advice for Students , Career Tips and Advice | 0 |

Hey graduates, guess what? Matric results are out! Maybe confetti flew, maybe not. Either way, you’re probably holding those papers, a whole mix of emotions swirling around you. Excitement? Check. Confusion? Double check. And that big, juicy question: “What now?”

Don’t Panic, You’re Not Alone

Hey, don’t freak out. Feeling like a jumble of post-results emotions is completely normal. Every year, thousands of graduates go through this rollercoaster ride. Remember, those numbers on your school report are just one chapter in your amazing story. They may have shaped your immediate path, but they don’t define your whole journey. You’re the author, and your future is an open book waiting to be written!

Plan B Adventures: Not a Dead End, a New Beginning

So, your dream course suddenly feels like a mountain you can’t climb? No sweat! This is your chance to explore other awesome programmes that make your brain do pirouettes. That hidden gem course you haven’t considered yet could be waiting to unleash your inner rockstar. Don’t be afraid to get creative with your Plan B – your future self will thank you!

Upskilling Oasis: Recharge, Refine, Reimagine

Need a little superpower boost to reach your goal? Bridging courses are your new best friends! Think of them as power-ups, giving you the tools and confidence to ace that dream degree later. Don’t see them as hurdles; see them as steppingstones to even greater heights. Check out our bridging courses .

Real-World Quest: Level Up Your Life Skills

Gap year, anyone? Dive into the real-world quest! Internships, volunteer work, travel – these experiences are pure gold. You’ll learn from the best teachers (life itself!), discover hidden talents, and maybe even find your true calling. It’s time to break free from textbook bubbles and level up your life skills in the real world.

DIY Dynasty: Build Your Own Throne

Feeling the entrepreneurial fire burning? Turn your passion into a side hustle! Write, code, bake, create – the possibilities are endless. Who knows, you might build your own empire before you know it. Remember, even small steps can lead to giant leaps. Just grab your DIY crown and go for it!

Remember, Class of 2023

There’s no one-size-fits-all post-matric route. This is your time to experiment, explore, and find what makes your soul sing. Trust your gut, talk to people who inspire you, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. We’ve all been there, and we’re all here to cheer you on!

P.S. Share your post-result thoughts and plans in the comments below! Let’s build a community of support and inspiration for each other. Together, we can rewrite the post-matric narrative and prove that the results are just a chapter, not the whole book. Now go out there, write your chapter, and show the world what you’re made of! We’re all rooting for you!

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Essay on Life after School

List of essays on life after school, essay on life after school – short essay (essay 1 – 150 words), essay on life after school – 10 lines written in english (essay 2 – 250 words), essay on life after school (essay 3 – 300 words), essay on life after school – facts (essay 4 – 400 words), essay on life after school (essay 5 – 500 words), essay on life after school – for school students (class 11 and 12 standard) (essay 6 – 600 words), essay on life after school – challenges and hardships (essay 7 – 750 words), essay on life after school – long essay for college and university students (essay 8 – 1000 words).

Life after school isn’t always easy and without stress. Once we leave school, things and situations around us begin to change in a very drastic way; life itself changes drastically for us. After leaving school we have a lot of new experiences and challenges.

School life is considered as the golden period of one’s life. However, as soon as one finishes the school and moves to college, there comes a sense of freedom as if one is a free bird now.

No matter what, life after school is entirely contrasted from what it used to be in school. It is important, however, to make the students aware of the challenges that lie ahead when they venture into life after school.

Audience: The below given essays are exclusively written for school students (Class 11 and 12 Standard) and college students.

Life after school can cause great anxiety in many young people. After the years we spend in education, one can be overwhelmed by all the responsibilities that await us and most of them are concerned with earning money.

Life after school can strike us suddenly and without warning so it is better to think about the future before it strikes us on the face. In the life after school, you need to take decisions regarding career choice and ultimately the job you want to do in future. Life after school comes as a natural transition from one period to another without too much stress.

Learning to lead a life after school is an important and the last step in our process of growing up and maturing as individuals. Making the necessary preparations is the best thing we can do to help us in this transition.

Introduction:

As a student, the focus is always on life after school. The ambitious minds of young students wander into every possibility in life. There is always the desire of a good life for everyone, which is the assumption of life after school. To some of the students, it is a motivating factor while to some it does not make an impact whatsoever. It is important to have a vision and a desire in life. Life after school is basically adulthood and there is a lot about adulthood that students do not yet understand. Most of us hate school because we believe that life out there is nice and warm.

Reality of Life After School:

The future is what begins in life after school. This is when important life decisions have to be made. It is evident that people end up in different paths from what they had anticipated but it is still important to have an idea of the path to take. Parents usually put pressure on their children and force them to make life choices that they are not comfortable with.

It is important that students seek advice from counsellors or any other role model to get guidance. When diving into life after school, it is not strange to change your mind on the career path you had earlier decided on because as people grow older, there is change in perspective which influence a change in decision-making. Dedication and determination are the important moral values that help to build better life after school.

I remember being both sad and happy when my school was about to end. Of course, I had my college to ponder about and at the same time, there was a sense of freedom and responsibilities as well.

A lot of people believe that life after school takes a U-turn as you realize how big the world truly is and how minuscule we may be. The truth really is that you need to keep an eye out on your career and understand well what you want to do and how you desire to live life after school.

The Career Foundation:

When I think about my life after school, I often wonder about the hours and hours I had put in to ensure that I got into the best college. I always believe that choosing a good college is essential because it kind of prepares you for your career and the rest of the life.

At the same time, my life after school was also devoted a great deal to understanding the different career streams and wondering what the right choice was for me. I was the kind of student who wanted to plan things well in advance and duly.

The Social Butterfly:

Also, when I look back at life after school, I realize that it was then that I really grew into being a social butterfly. I had always been an introvert in school but I knew I wanted to shirk that image more than ever. I started mixing with people, heading to parties and even tried and put in an effort to stay in touch with my friends as well. This helped me become a social butterfly and I believe that it also influenced the way I planned my career ahead.

So, life after school can vary a great deal based on who you are as a person!

Life after school is very different from life in the school. Life after school is very different and changes drastically once we are out of school. Schooling normally ends after class 12 or equivalent or sometimes after class 10.

School Life:

While in school, we are considered as children and our parents and teachers take all the decisions for us. We have strict rules that needs to be obeyed. The school timings, teaching-study pattern, activities and playtime – everything is fixed as decided by teachers and by parents at home. We do not take decision and the strict routine and rigid rules are quite exhausting. The advantage in school life is that we live a carefree life and we do not have to worry about the consequences.

Take Decisions:

All above changes after school and we face new experiences every day. As we step out of the school, we get flexibility and choices but we need to take decisions and be responsible for the consequences. Therefore, we have to be very careful about every decision we take in the life after school.

Challenges of Life After School:

Life after school is full of challenges. One of the biggest challenge is to decide the career and build it – to go for higher studies or to do job or to be an entrepreneur – all are to make a good living. This is most critical issue in life after school. For higher studies, we need to decide career path – engineering, science, medical, humanities, law – research or service – public or private sector, etc., and to pursue the path, choose a good course-university-college and attain required qualifications. A search needs to be done and several factors be considered before finalizing. If the decision is job, we need to hunt for job opportunities. To be an entrepreneur, we need to be innovative. We need to face the real world, meet, deal and build contacts with all kinds of people in the life after school.

Life After School is Full of Challenges:

The freedom to choose – career, course, job, life partner, recognition, decent living etc., pose continuous challenges at every step after we move out of school and get into life after school. However, freedom comes with responsibilities. We are accountable for our decisions and actions. Maintaining balance between personal and professional life is yet another challenge in life after school. Life can be handled smartly if we plan things properly and work diligently.

Life after school isn’t always easy and without stress. Once we leave school, things and situations around us begin to change in a very drastic way; life itself changes drastically for us. After leaving school we have a lot of new experiences and challenges. We begin to realise that the world is a lot different than we thought. As we leave school, we discover that every step and decision we take matters a lot and we need to start paying full attention to them. This period is a very important phase in our lives.

It is particularly during this period that we learn a lot of things that can help us advance in life. Once we are out of school and without the guidance and check up of teachers and professionals we begin to see who we truly are and our personality comes out. It is during this period that our parents grant us the opportunity to take independent decisions on our own.

What we can make out of life after school:

There are a lot of things we should try to do in life after school to help develop ourselves.

We will be looking at some of the things we can do below:

1. Pursue Hobbies:

With all of the stress of school including the bulky syllabus, assignments and other challenges we face in school, it is almost impossible for us to create time to go after all of our habits. When we leave school, before taking any further decisions or steps in our lives, we should take time to pursue all of our hobbies and develop skills that might be useful for us in the future. The truth is that the little period after school might be the only time we will ever have to ourselves. Therefore, it is best to use the time to do the things we love and enjoy and also try to learn new skills that might come in handy in the future.

2. Make Time for Personal Relationships:

Because of the constant pressure to study and the very strict schedule. Students don’t usually have the time to spend time with their relatives and loved ones, attend family functions and even go on trips and vacations with their friends. All of the above listed things can be done after school. It is important to note that taking time out to be with friends and family is essential for our development. We are able to fully understand all of these relationships and value them a lot more. It is very important that we make time for personal relationships in life after school.

3. Take Personal Decisions:

While we were in school, we didn’t take decisions of our own. Most of our decisions as students are largely influenced by our parents and teachers in school. Our teachers have a lot of say on our lives as students, most parents entrust the education of their children into the hands of the teachers. Once we live school and don’t have teachers again, we should start taking decisions of our own.

Life after school can be tough exciting and frustrating. As young people, schools have always provided a comfort zone. There is no obligation to work or provide for anyone since your needs are met by family. Also, aside from passing your exams, there is no intense pressure to succeed.

However, as soon as you leave school, you are faced with a hostile environment. Everyone is out for himself and you quickly realize that for the first time you are alone. Also, you suddenly have bills to pay and responsibilities to bear.

Life after school can also be rewarding. You no longer have to listen to anyone about your personal decisions. You are free to think about the future direction of your life. In other words, your destiny is finally in your hands.

Taking Your Fears for Life after School:

Taking on this phase of your life can be daunting challenging. The thought of fending for yourself alone can give you Goosebumps. The safety net of having less responsibility and being concerned about yourself alone is about to be taken off. So it’s only natural that you’re scared of what’s coming next.

However, to properly navigate this transition in your life, you must rid yourself of fear. Fear paralyzes the mind and rids it of its ability to respond to challenging situations. Thus, you would not get too far in life after school if you maintain this state of mind.

The better approach is to use your fears as a fuel for your drive to succeed. See life after school as an opportunity to surprise yourself and prove your critics wrong. This way you’ll increase your chances of success.

Preparing for Life after School:

The skills required to succeed when you were in school are not the same skills needed on the outside. For instance, to pass an exam all you have to do is study and have a decent ability to remember facts. However, life after schools dictates that you are able to solve daily challenges by rational thinking.

Thus, while you are in school, there are certain skills that you must learn to succeed on the outside.

Some of them are highlighted below:

i. Logical thinking:

Life after school would bombard you with complex problems that requires depth to solve. In school, you were probably given parameters that would help you solve your problems. However, life after school is complex and lawless. What matters, in this case, is the result. You would also get little or no help in solving your problems.

Thus, to survive in this setting you need to learn how to think logically. This form of thinking involves making sound deductions from a given set of facts. This skill would be important in several parts of your life after school.

ii. Taking responsibility:

You probably refused to be the group leader in school or failed to do your assignments a few times with little or no repercussions. Life after school isn’t so forgiving in similar circumstances. When you refuse to take responsibility, the consequences can be immediate and damning.

iii. Perseverance:

Once you step out of the comfort zone of your various campuses, things would not always go your way. Life after school demands that you maintain a tough skin when faced with challenges. The ability to persevere in the face of a daunting task is the difference between champions and losers.

iv. Management:

The ability to manage a situation cannot be overemphasized. If you cannot control how you spend your time, money and your relationship with people, life after school might be rocky for you. Consequently, you must learn to manage all the resources at your disposal.

Conclusion:

Growth can be painful because of the changes it brings along with it. Life after school is not an exception to this rule. See this process as an avenue to grow and you’ll be fine.

School life is always memorable and carefree time the students have as they are free of any responsibilities and seriousness rather than studies. Once this is finished, then your life will take a sharp turn to a completely different atmosphere.

The change in the life of a student from the secured and guided school to a rather responsible and independent life after school is going to be challenging. Teachers and parents try their best to mold the students to be able to face these challenges, however, it is not that easy to pass this phase of life after school.

Comparison of both Life Phases:

The comparatively carefree life they lived as a school student is not going to continue in life after school. During school, in your home, everything was decided and spoon fed to you by your parents. From the time you wake up to the food you eat to the school you study, everything was decided by them.

There were fixed decisions taken by your parents about your mode of studies and the free time activities you do. Your study time was set by them and play times too. All these decisions made will help the students to live a free-minded and happy life, which was controlled and well balanced by the parents. They won’t be asked to choose or take any options of their actual interest, which in turn may affect the person badly. But the good part was that life was easier and stress-free.

At school, all the activities and studies were under the strict supervision of your teachers. They constantly guided you to the correct path and according to the school rules, they led you to the disciplined school life. They were there to continuously observe your actions and punish you when you are wrong. Your life was moving according to the school time and timetables, which were set by the elders. The students didn’t get to make any decisions of their interest.

But thing are completely in life after school. The best part in life after school is that the students get more free decision making authorities. You can decide your stream of interest and further proceed with your career. The old school pattern will be totally deleted and in this phase, once your study time is over you can do any activity of your interest. Colleges won’t be as strict as schools and most probably there won’t be anyone to control your wishes. You can pursue your dreams and spend the extra time as you wish.

Even though this freedom is a gift, it also means an extra effort should be put from your part.

Challenges and Hardships:

Once you are out of school life, the actually responsible section of your life has started, where you will be considered responsible for every action you take and the consequences. Each and every option you choose will lead you to some part of your future career, whether success or failure. The freedom of decision making should not be taken lightly and proper researches should be done before fixing on any decision.

Life after school is full of responsibilities and expectations. We should take the responsibility of parents, who took care of you from your childhood and look after them from then on. Another responsibility and challenge are to build a good career. This can be done by deciding the right stream that compliments your interest and further work harder for achieving an admission in a reputed college through selection exams.

Once you start your college life, your challenges increases trying to complete the course with good marks and the list will go on till you think your goal is attained. When you complete your whole study procedure, you will be facing the real world trying to get a good job and a living. In this stage, it will be challenging and stressful to maintain calm and composed life.

Unlike the school atmosphere, in life after school, you will be made to mingle with more diverse types of people and environments, whether at your college or at your workplace. There will be a need to choose your contacts and friends wisely, which is also a challenge as they will be playing a major role in your further growth.

All these processes will completely be weighing a lot on your shoulders, once you step out of your school life. But when you start the journey, you will remember that many lessons taught by your teachers and parents will help you to take many valuable decisions. All the strict rules and discipline you learned from school will help you to lead a smooth life in the life after school.

In India, a child on attaining the age of three is required to be admitted to a school for formal schooling. The child remains in school for fourteen years and passes out only after completing class twelfth. At this time around, the child is in his / her teens at around 17 years of age. The remaining part of life is considered as life after school. But, the question is what life is after school? Is it the same what you had in school or is it totally in contrast to the school life?

The College Life:

First and foremost challenge a student faces in his /her life after school is choosing the right college. At times, you may not have the desired marks required to get admission in the college of your choice. This is perhaps the first learning of life after school. It is that you don’t get things on a platter and you have to earn them. So, you get to choose a college as per your efforts done during your school time.

Having said that another important lesson of life learnt here is that it not the end of the road. What if the college is not the one you dreamt, try and choose the course of your choice as your career is dependent on the course you choose, be it a science stream, some field of accounts or a graduation in subjects related to humanities. Every subject has its own future.

New Friends Vs. the Older Ones:

Regardless of whether it sounds unfathomable at the present time, your whole lot of friends may not stay together with you for your lifetime. The vast majority of friends keep in contact with a bunch of their absolute best companions from secondary school and that is it. With time, fiends tend to keep busy and you may not able to enjoy those times of enjoyment with your friends like the one you used to have in your school life. In the event that that idea makes you pitiful, don’t stress, the general group who are extremely worth keeping around in your life will dependably be there for you. Moreover, you are bound to make new friends as you grow up and meet new people.

The Process of Growing Up:

In life after school, Graduation is a mammoth achievement; however, it is not everything in the world. There are still more milestones to come and graduation is just the beginning. You’re still going to feel like a lost little child some of the time, particularly when it comes to documentation for that new occupation or settle on a significant choice about your master’s degree. The mystery is realizing that each and every other individual your age feels the very same way.

Becoming Fearless:

Life after school makes you fearless. Since you have a confirmation added to your collection, the result of long periods of diligent work and commitment, you realize you can go up against any test and finish it with energy. It means that you become more fearless with age. And to top it, mostly it is for your own betterment and you learn to take risks in life. Nothing seems harder to achieve and there is this strong desire to show the world what you are capable of.

Changing Expectations of Parents:

But, there is another side of the coins as well. Growing up and living a life after school comes with responsibilities also. Especially at home, your parents expect much more from you than when you were at school. First of all, they probably won’t have disapproved of when you skipped keeping your utensils in the kitchen once you are done with your lunch or dinner. In any case, now that you’re out of school, they will begin treating you like a genuine grown-up, which implies more obligations. Here’s the peculiar thing of managing yourself is something you may hate to do. It may make you think that your parents have changed. However, it is just that you have grown up.

The First Thought of Money:

You know growing up is quite an expensive affair and you must have often seen your parents struggling with money matters in trying to provide you with all that you dream of. In any case, now that you’re a secondary school graduate, you’ll be paying for your own gas, titbits, and garments soon, and perhaps more. So, it is time for a payback now. The drive to make and spare the money you earn is quite natural. Remember, the first occasion when you see a noteworthy number in your financial balance is the most fulfilling inclination on earth. It gives you that immense peace of mind for which you would have probably been dreaming since your school days.

All is not over yet. There are many other things which are bound to happen to you when you live your life after school. For instance, you grow up and do not look the same cute baby you were in school. You need to accept the changes in your body as well. Additionally, you have longer schedules to adjust to and remember, managing personal and professional life in today’s competitive times is not an easy task.

Growing up is a natural part of our life cycle. So is life after school. It happens to everyone. So there is nothing that you are the first one of the planet to have to go through it.

However, one thing you must not forget is that you must accept the changes in your life in a positive manner and just don’t succumb to the pressures of the real world.

The world is a beautiful place to live in and there is life beyond school. And trust your elders, the life after school is much enjoyable, have a lot of stress as well as emotions but in the end, it gives you the freedom to live a life of your choice. It is up to you what you want to make of it. So, dream big today and strive to achieve your goals once you step out for life after school.

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Life After Matric

All throughout high school everyone tells you that once you matriculate, you’ll be in the big world or the real world. But no one actually tells you what to expect. We have a few pro tips on Life After Matric and what you can look forward to. 

Opportunities After Matric 

Interested to know what options you have after matric? There really is an endless list of what you can do, you’re basically spoilt with options. It can be all a bit overwhelming so we are here to break it down for you. 

Furthering your education after high school is the more common thing to do. Everyone works hard to apply to universities and colleges. Studying after matric, gives you the opportunity to work towards a qualification that will help you land your dream job.  

With no school, you can work full-time. You’ll gain the work experience you need and you’ll be able to save up for college. Working after high school also allows you to refine your soft skills and learn the hard skills needed for your future career. 

If you need a break before committing to a job or a course then a gap year would be best. It’s the perfect opportunity to do whatever you want. Travel the world, work abroad, volunteer for the year, fact is it’s all up to you. 

Study Readiness Test 

Going through 12 years of school can be draining, so are you sure you want to go through another three years of it? That’s where our study readiness test comes in. This five minute assessment will help you determine if you are in fact ready to take on the responsibilities of higher education. 

Work Readiness Test 

A work readiness test will determine if you are ready to join the workforce. Now don’t be scared, it will simply evaluate your skills. If you don’t receive the results you wish for, consider doing a short course to build on your skills. 

Challenges After Matric 

High school can become a safe space that you are familiar with. After all you do spend most of your teenage years there. You won’t necessarily have the same friends and you won’t have the same teachers. So leaving can be quite challenging at first.

Transition Issues

Leaving high school means that you are now an adult. As much as you might want to be an adult, there are a lot of responsibilities that come with it. You might feel overwhelmed or lost at first but give yourself time to find your feet. 

If you choose to study after matric, you will see that the work is much harder. You will also notice that it’s more independent learning so you will have to be more responsible when it comes to your studies. 

College Life

College can be confusing and overwhelming with all the choices you have to make and the options available to you. But you can overcome this. Simply stick to what you know and if you don’t know, always ask someone who does. 

Which Course is Best After Matric?

Only you can ultimately decide which course would be best but we can give you a few suggestions that you can look into. Remember that you should choose a course based on where you want to be in the future. 

Short Course: Can take a couple of months to a year to study and they give you the workplace skills you need. Short courses are open entry and don’t need matric.

Diploma Course: Typically last three years and can be found at a college or university. All real diplomas are accredited by the Department of Higher Education. 

Degree: The duration of a degree course depends on the type of course you want to take. Degrees also have strict entry requirements. 

Stand Tall After Matric 

Stand tall regardless of any challenges you might face after matric. If you need help choosing a course, contact one of our course experts. 

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• Speech on Life After School

Introduction Speech on Life After School

The anticipation of life after school brings a lot of excitement and fun energy for the students. In their innocence, they view life through the rose-tinted glass. And along the way they later realize life, after all, entails a lot of ups and downs. Life after matric changes in so many ways academically and personally. And in this English Speech about life after matric article, we will delve into ways of presenting this speech. It can be a long speech about life after matric or a short speech on life after school. 

Long Speech on Life After School

In this type of 5-minute speech, the students in grades 8-12 will find it very valuable as they can articulate themselves in a detailed manner. 

Good Morning and a very warm welcome to the respected Principal, teachers and my dear friends. Thank you for giving me this golden opportunity to speak about life after school, I do have a lot to share. After our matric or our boards, we will part our ways. From our friends, this school, the teachers, friends and everyone. We will no longer be school children, we will start our higher education and become college-going students. 

I never thought of myself as being a person who rides along with any emotion, but when I think about the time after school it makes me sad and excited at the same time. My friends and I had a lot of memories together, and we did many mischievous things together. We were not good at hiding it so our teachers always caught us. Even in happiness or punishments, we were together guiding each other. Our teachers were always by our side and taught us right from wrong. 

In our independent lives after school, nobody else will be the guiding light, we have to be our own moral ground. We will have to decide for ourselves and make important choices. And also learn to take accountability for our actions and deal with the consequences. 

I have seen my older brother deal with things responsibly. He is the one who shares these learnings from his experiences with me. Yes, life will be different from what it is today and what has been till now. But it will be our choice to decide what to make of it, whether to lead a good life or get swayed by trivialities of youth. 

Not everyone will be helpful, most times we will be on our own which will be the crucial time where we have to apply our learnings in real life. We will no longer be innocent but we will gain wisdom. And that is an important virtue to live by.

The most important thing to remember is to work hard to achieve our dreams and goals because there are no free lunches in the world. Everything requires effort, and we must be willing to put in a lot of it. We will face many tough situations so it is important to cherish what we have now. 

These are truly the best and happiest days of all our lives. We will never be this carefree and stress free ever. With ample time in our hands now to be children, we must enjoy them to the fullest. And work towards a better life, staying true to our core values and learning all that this school and the school life has taught us. Good luck.

Short Speech on Life After School

This format of speech about life after matric will be helpful for students in grades 4-7 to understand and present because it's short and simple.

Good morning everyone, the respected principal, the teachers and my dear friends I Abc (mention your name) are here today to speak about life after school. In a few years when we will give our matriculation exams, our school life will come to an end. But we will always remain a student in life, learning every day from our different experiences. 

We have our close friends near us now, after school we will all be on our journey to start another chapter of our lives. It is all a part of growing up to deal with the challenges of life on our own. The friends we make then will be our own chosen family. We will have responsibilities towards ourselves and our families. 

Life is a culmination of many peaks and valleys and everyone we meet in this journey has something to teach us. We will never be this free and relaxed where we only get to study, eat and play without anything to worry about. In our busy lives after school, we will have to create time for such activities as games and other hobbies that we take for granted today. 

So let’s have gratitude and value for this carefree life that we are living now. Now is all we have, and if we work hard today and enjoy the work while doing it, it will only be of value and enrich our lives. Let us make time for everything that matters.

10 Line Speech About Life After School

This is helpful when one needs to give a 2-minute speech using simple words in a short format.

1. School life is the best life and the golden period of our lives. 

2. There will not be a time in life where we get to be this free of stress as we are in our school life.

3. In our school life, we have a lot of room to make mistakes.

4. And our teachers, elders, parents and friends guide us and enlighten us to take lessons from our mistakes.

5. After school, our friends are on their own, we too become adults so a lot is expected from us.

6. We shoulder many responsibilities and duties after school.

7. There will always be consequences to even a minor mistake.

8. We must take it in our stride and learn from them without losing our hearts. 

9. In the real-life after school, there will be competition in every aspect of our lives so we must be well-prepared.

10. Let’s learn, have fun and value our life and the people in it.

Life After School – Speech

Every child in their school life wants their school life to be filled with excitement and fun. It is considered the most cheerful year of life. And during this stage, you must remember the importance of the study, the value of the people in school and most importantly, your teachers. Once you enter college, you understand how school life and college life is different. Once a student leaves school, they learn how life is about striking balance. In this phase, a student must balance work and life. It is not about continuously studying for something or trying to master the skills but instead striking the balance between everything. 

One must always take time for their hobbies as well or else they can get exhausted.  We must remember that excess of anything is not good and it can instead be harmful to us. Therefore, we shouldn’t feel pressurised by our surroundings as it can instead hamper our health, both physical and mental. A student should make the habit of keeping a schedule and setting goals that are big or small. The period of school life is considered a golden period and students must enjoy it and also learn from their fellow students and value teachers. Every phase in our life teaches us something, be it small things or huge ones. We shouldn’t neglect the important things in life and should always strive to be good human beings. One must learn to stand on their own feet and make themselves proud before anyone else.

FAQs on Speech on Life After School

1. How to start a speech properly?

It is always good to start a speech by giving a relevant quote that can grab the attention of your audience. Speak confidently as this will automatically grab the attention of the listeners. It is also good to interact with your audience if required. You can give good examples of things that are related to your speech and many factual data as well. It is also great to end your speech with a powerful phrase or statement.

2. How do we build a career after school?

After School life ends, we are the ones who have to decide the choices that are best for us. It is important to build a career so that we can have a bright future. In order to build a career, one must set goals that are achievable. The goals can be short or long-term and must be of the interest of the one setting it. This can ensure success in building a career. One cannot excel in a career that one doesn’t find interesting.

3. How do you balance life after school?

One must remember to maintain a schedule that can help the person to complete everything on time. One must make sure they have time for their hobbies. One must remember to take short breaks otherwise it can lead to exhaustion and lesser productivity instead. You can always take time to spend time with your loved ones and friends. It is also suggested to do yoga or other physical exercises which will help you in keeping your body and mind refreshed and active. Your goals and schedule shouldn’t be rigorous and should be feasible so that it is easier for you to achieve it.

4. Can I get both short and long speeches on ‘Life after school’?

Yes, you can get short and long speeches on this topic. They are well-written and you can read them as a reference for your speech. We have covered all the important topics that are required for the speech which will help you grab the attention of the audience and also help you to stand out. It is free of cost and you can simply access it by visiting the website of vedantu.

5. What can we do after we come back from school?

After we come back from school, we can do plenty of things. We should start by eating something healthy and should hydrate ourselves by drinking plenty of water or juice. We can also take time to do our hobbies like baking something, painting, playing musical instruments, sketching and going for walks. We can also take time to do exercises and meditate. We can also study novels or short stories that can help improve our speech and vocabulary skills. We can also take time to solve puzzles which can train our brain and improve our memory and problem-solving skills.

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• The Case for Marrying an Older Man

A woman’s life is all work and little rest. An age gap relationship can help.

In the summer, in the south of France, my husband and I like to play, rather badly, the lottery. We take long, scorching walks to the village — gratuitous beauty, gratuitous heat — kicking up dust and languid debates over how we’d spend such an influx. I purchase scratch-offs, jackpot tickets, scraping the former with euro coins in restaurants too fine for that. I never cash them in, nor do I check the winning numbers. For I already won something like the lotto, with its gifts and its curses, when he married me.

He is ten years older than I am. I chose him on purpose, not by chance. As far as life decisions go, on balance, I recommend it.

When I was 20 and a junior at Harvard College, a series of great ironies began to mock me. I could study all I wanted, prove myself as exceptional as I liked, and still my fiercest advantage remained so universal it deflated my other plans. My youth. The newness of my face and body. Compellingly effortless; cruelly fleeting. I shared it with the average, idle young woman shrugging down the street. The thought, when it descended on me, jolted my perspective, the way a falling leaf can make you look up: I could diligently craft an ideal existence, over years and years of sleepless nights and industry. Or I could just marry it early.

So naturally I began to lug a heavy suitcase of books each Saturday to the Harvard Business School to work on my Nabokov paper. In one cavernous, well-appointed room sat approximately 50 of the planet’s most suitable bachelors. I had high breasts, most of my eggs, plausible deniability when it came to purity, a flush ponytail, a pep in my step that had yet to run out. Apologies to Progress, but older men still desired those things.

I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me, given their intelligence. Each time I reconsidered the project, it struck me as more reasonable. Why ignore our youth when it amounted to a superpower? Why assume the burdens of womanhood, its too-quick-to-vanish upper hand, but not its brief benefits at least? Perhaps it came easier to avoid the topic wholesale than to accept that women really do have a tragically short window of power, and reason enough to take advantage of that fact while they can. As for me, I liked history, Victorian novels, knew of imminent female pitfalls from all the books I’d read: vampiric boyfriends; labor, at the office and in the hospital, expected simultaneously; a decline in status as we aged, like a looming eclipse. I’d have disliked being called calculating, but I had, like all women, a calculator in my head. I thought it silly to ignore its answers when they pointed to an unfairness for which we really ought to have been preparing.

I was competitive by nature, an English-literature student with all the corresponding major ambitions and minor prospects (Great American novel; email job). A little Bovarist , frantic for new places and ideas; to travel here, to travel there, to be in the room where things happened. I resented the callow boys in my class, who lusted after a particular, socially sanctioned type on campus: thin and sexless, emotionally detached and socially connected, the opposite of me. Restless one Saturday night, I slipped on a red dress and snuck into a graduate-school event, coiling an HDMI cord around my wrist as proof of some technical duty. I danced. I drank for free, until one of the organizers asked me to leave. I called and climbed into an Uber. Then I promptly climbed out of it. For there he was, emerging from the revolving doors. Brown eyes, curved lips, immaculate jacket. I went to him, asked him for a cigarette. A date, days later. A second one, where I discovered he was a person, potentially my favorite kind: funny, clear-eyed, brilliant, on intimate terms with the universe.

I used to love men like men love women — that is, not very well, and with a hunger driven only by my own inadequacies. Not him. In those early days, I spoke fondly of my family, stocked the fridge with his favorite pasta, folded his clothes more neatly than I ever have since. I wrote his mother a thank-you note for hosting me in his native France, something befitting a daughter-in-law. It worked; I meant it. After graduation and my fellowship at Oxford, I stayed in Europe for his career and married him at 23.

Of course I just fell in love. Romances have a setting; I had only intervened to place myself well. Mainly, I spotted the precise trouble of being a woman ahead of time, tried to surf it instead of letting it drown me on principle. I had grown bored of discussions of fair and unfair, equal or unequal , and preferred instead to consider a thing called ease.

The reception of a particular age-gap relationship depends on its obviousness. The greater and more visible the difference in years and status between a man and a woman, the more it strikes others as transactional. Transactional thinking in relationships is both as American as it gets and the least kosher subject in the American romantic lexicon. When a 50-year-old man and a 25-year-old woman walk down the street, the questions form themselves inside of you; they make you feel cynical and obscene: How good of a deal is that? Which party is getting the better one? Would I take it? He is older. Income rises with age, so we assume he has money, at least relative to her; at minimum, more connections and experience. She has supple skin. Energy. Sex. Maybe she gets a Birkin. Maybe he gets a baby long after his prime. The sight of their entwined hands throws a lucid light on the calculations each of us makes, in love, to varying degrees of denial. You could get married in the most romantic place in the world, like I did, and you would still have to sign a contract.

Twenty and 30 is not like 30 and 40; some freshness to my features back then, some clumsiness in my bearing, warped our decade, in the eyes of others, to an uncrossable gulf. Perhaps this explains the anger we felt directed at us at the start of our relationship. People seemed to take us very, very personally. I recall a hellish car ride with a friend of his who began to castigate me in the backseat, in tones so low that only I could hear him. He told me, You wanted a rich boyfriend. You chased and snuck into parties . He spared me the insult of gold digger, but he drew, with other words, the outline for it. Most offended were the single older women, my husband’s classmates. They discussed me in the bathroom at parties when I was in the stall. What does he see in her? What do they talk about? They were concerned about me. They wielded their concern like a bludgeon. They paraphrased without meaning to my favorite line from Nabokov’s Lolita : “You took advantage of my disadvantage,” suspecting me of some weakness he in turn mined. It did not disturb them, so much, to consider that all relationships were trades. The trouble was the trade I’d made struck them as a bad one.

The truth is you can fall in love with someone for all sorts of reasons, tiny transactions, pluses and minuses, whose sum is your affection for each other, your loyalty, your commitment. The way someone picks up your favorite croissant. Their habit of listening hard. What they do for you on your anniversary and your reciprocal gesture, wrapped thoughtfully. The serenity they inspire; your happiness, enlivening it. When someone says they feel unappreciated, what they really mean is you’re in debt to them.

When I think of same-age, same-stage relationships, what I tend to picture is a woman who is doing too much for too little.

I’m 27 now, and most women my age have “partners.” These days, girls become partners quite young. A partner is supposed to be a modern answer to the oppression of marriage, the terrible feeling of someone looming over you, head of a household to which you can only ever be the neck. Necks are vulnerable. The problem with a partner, however, is if you’re equal in all things, you compromise in all things. And men are too skilled at taking .

There is a boy out there who knows how to floss because my friend taught him. Now he kisses college girls with fresh breath. A boy married to my friend who doesn’t know how to pack his own suitcase. She “likes to do it for him.” A million boys who know how to touch a woman, who go to therapy because they were pushed, who learned fidelity, boundaries, decency, manners, to use a top sheet and act humanely beneath it, to call their mothers, match colors, bring flowers to a funeral and inhale, exhale in the face of rage, because some girl, some girl we know, some girl they probably don’t speak to and will never, ever credit, took the time to teach him. All while she was working, raising herself, clawing up the cliff-face of adulthood. Hauling him at her own expense.

I find a post on Reddit where five thousand men try to define “ a woman’s touch .” They describe raised flower beds, blankets, photographs of their loved ones, not hers, sprouting on the mantel overnight. Candles, coasters, side tables. Someone remembering to take lint out of the dryer. To give compliments. I wonder what these women are getting back. I imagine them like Cinderella’s mice, scurrying around, their sole proof of life their contributions to a more central character. On occasion I meet a nice couple, who grew up together. They know each other with a fraternalism tender and alien to me.  But I think of all my friends who failed at this, were failed at this, and I think, No, absolutely not, too risky . Riskier, sometimes, than an age gap.

My younger brother is in his early 20s, handsome, successful, but in many ways: an endearing disaster. By his age, I had long since wisened up. He leaves his clothes in the dryer, takes out a single shirt, steams it for three minutes. His towel on the floor, for someone else to retrieve. His lovely, same-age girlfriend is aching to fix these tendencies, among others. She is capable beyond words. Statistically, they will not end up together. He moved into his first place recently, and she, the girlfriend, supplied him with a long, detailed list of things he needed for his apartment: sheets, towels, hangers, a colander, which made me laugh. She picked out his couch. I will bet you anything she will fix his laundry habits, and if so, they will impress the next girl. If they break up, she will never see that couch again, and he will forget its story. I tell her when I visit because I like her, though I get in trouble for it: You shouldn’t do so much for him, not for someone who is not stuck with you, not for any boy, not even for my wonderful brother.

Too much work had left my husband, by 30, jaded and uninspired. He’d burned out — but I could reenchant things. I danced at restaurants when they played a song I liked. I turned grocery shopping into an adventure, pleased by what I provided. Ambitious, hungry, he needed someone smart enough to sustain his interest, but flexible enough in her habits to build them around his hours. I could. I do: read myself occupied, make myself free, materialize beside him when he calls for me. In exchange, I left a lucrative but deadening spreadsheet job to write full-time, without having to live like a writer. I learned to cook, a little, and decorate, somewhat poorly. Mostly I get to read, to walk central London and Miami and think in delicious circles, to work hard, when necessary, for free, and write stories for far less than minimum wage when I tally all the hours I take to write them.

At 20, I had felt daunted by the project of becoming my ideal self, couldn’t imagine doing it in tandem with someone, two raw lumps of clay trying to mold one another and only sullying things worse. I’d go on dates with boys my age and leave with the impression they were telling me not about themselves but some person who didn’t exist yet and on whom I was meant to bet regardless. My husband struck me instead as so finished, formed. Analyzable for compatibility. He bore the traces of other women who’d improved him, small but crucial basics like use a coaster ; listen, don’t give advice. Young egos mellow into patience and generosity.

My husband isn’t my partner. He’s my mentor, my lover, and, only in certain contexts, my friend. I’ll never forget it, how he showed me around our first place like he was introducing me to myself: This is the wine you’ll drink, where you’ll keep your clothes, we vacation here, this is the other language we’ll speak, you’ll learn it, and I did. Adulthood seemed a series of exhausting obligations. But his logistics ran so smoothly that he simply tacked mine on. I moved into his flat, onto his level, drag and drop, cleaner thrice a week, bills automatic. By opting out of partnership in my 20s, I granted myself a kind of compartmentalized, liberating selfishness none of my friends have managed. I am the work in progress, the party we worry about, a surprising dominance. When I searched for my first job, at 21, we combined our efforts, for my sake. He had wisdom to impart, contacts with whom he arranged coffees; we spent an afternoon, laughing, drawing up earnest lists of my pros and cons (highly sociable; sloppy math). Meanwhile, I took calls from a dear friend who had a boyfriend her age. Both savagely ambitious, hyperclose and entwined in each other’s projects. If each was a start-up , the other was the first hire, an intense dedication I found riveting. Yet every time she called me, I hung up with the distinct feeling that too much was happening at the same time: both learning to please a boss; to forge more adult relationships with their families; to pay bills and taxes and hang prints on the wall. Neither had any advice to give and certainly no stability. I pictured a three-legged race, two people tied together and hobbling toward every milestone.

I don’t fool myself. My marriage has its cons. There are only so many times one can say “thank you” — for splendid scenes, fine dinners — before the phrase starts to grate. I live in an apartment whose rent he pays and that shapes the freedom with which I can ever be angry with him. He doesn’t have to hold it over my head. It just floats there, complicating usual shorthands to explain dissatisfaction like, You aren’t being supportive lately . It’s a Frenchism to say, “Take a decision,” and from time to time I joke: from whom? Occasionally I find myself in some fabulous country at some fabulous party and I think what a long way I have traveled, like a lucky cloud, and it is frightening to think of oneself as vapor.

Mostly I worry that if he ever betrayed me and I had to move on, I would survive, but would find in my humor, preferences, the way I make coffee or the bed nothing that he did not teach, change, mold, recompose, stamp with his initials, the way Renaissance painters hid in their paintings their faces among a crowd. I wonder if when they looked at their paintings, they saw their own faces first. But this is the wrong question, if our aim is happiness. Like the other question on which I’m expected to dwell: Who is in charge, the man who drives or the woman who put him there so she could enjoy herself? I sit in the car, in the painting it would have taken me a corporate job and 20 years to paint alone, and my concern over who has the upper hand becomes as distant as the horizon, the one he and I made so wide for me.

To be a woman is to race against the clock, in several ways, until there is nothing left to be but run ragged.

We try to put it off, but it will hit us at some point: that we live in a world in which our power has a different shape from that of men, a different distribution of advantage, ours a funnel and theirs an expanding cone. A woman at 20 rarely has to earn her welcome; a boy at 20 will be turned away at the door. A woman at 30 may find a younger woman has taken her seat; a man at 30 will have invited her. I think back to the women in the bathroom, my husband’s classmates. What was my relationship if not an inconvertible sign of this unfairness? What was I doing, in marrying older, if not endorsing it? I had taken advantage of their disadvantage. I had preempted my own. After all, principled women are meant to defy unfairness, to show some integrity or denial, not plan around it, like I had. These were driven women, successful, beautiful, capable. I merely possessed the one thing they had already lost. In getting ahead of the problem, had I pushed them down? If I hadn’t, would it really have made any difference?

When we decided we wanted to be equal to men, we got on men’s time. We worked when they worked, retired when they retired, had to squeeze pregnancy, children, menopause somewhere impossibly in the margins. I have a friend, in her late 20s, who wears a mood ring; these days it is often red, flickering in the air like a siren when she explains her predicament to me. She has raised her fair share of same-age boyfriends. She has put her head down, worked laboriously alongside them, too. At last she is beginning to reap the dividends, earning the income to finally enjoy herself. But it is now, exactly at this precipice of freedom and pleasure, that a time problem comes closing in. If she would like to have children before 35, she must begin her next profession, motherhood, rather soon, compromising inevitably her original one. The same-age partner, equally unsettled in his career, will take only the minimum time off, she guesses, or else pay some cost which will come back to bite her. Everything unfailingly does. If she freezes her eggs to buy time, the decision and its logistics will burden her singly — and perhaps it will not work. Overlay the years a woman is supposed to establish herself in her career and her fertility window and it’s a perfect, miserable circle. By midlife women report feeling invisible, undervalued; it is a telling cliché, that after all this, some husbands leave for a younger girl. So when is her time, exactly? For leisure, ease, liberty? There is no brand of feminism which achieved female rest. If women’s problem in the ’50s was a paralyzing malaise, now it is that they are too active, too capable, never permitted a vacation they didn’t plan. It’s not that our efforts to have it all were fated for failure. They simply weren’t imaginative enough.

For me, my relationship, with its age gap, has alleviated this rush , permitted me to massage the clock, shift its hands to my benefit. Very soon, we will decide to have children, and I don’t panic over last gasps of fun, because I took so many big breaths of it early: on the holidays of someone who had worked a decade longer than I had, in beautiful places when I was young and beautiful, a symmetry I recommend. If such a thing as maternal energy exists, mine was never depleted. I spent the last nearly seven years supported more than I support and I am still not as old as my husband was when he met me. When I have a child, I will expect more help from him than I would if he were younger, for what does professional tenure earn you if not the right to set more limits on work demands — or, if not, to secure some child care, at the very least? When I return to work after maternal upheaval, he will aid me, as he’s always had, with his ability to put himself aside, as younger men are rarely able.

Above all, the great gift of my marriage is flexibility. A chance to live my life before I become responsible for someone else’s — a lover’s, or a child’s. A chance to write. A chance at a destiny that doesn’t adhere rigidly to the routines and timelines of men, but lends itself instead to roomy accommodation, to the very fluidity Betty Friedan dreamed of in 1963 in The Feminine Mystique , but we’ve largely forgotten: some career or style of life that “permits year-to-year variation — a full-time paid job in one community, part-time in another, exercise of the professional skill in serious volunteer work or a period of study during pregnancy or early motherhood when a full-time job is not feasible.” Some things are just not feasible in our current structures. Somewhere along the way we stopped admitting that, and all we did was make women feel like personal failures. I dream of new structures, a world in which women have entry-level jobs in their 30s; alternate avenues for promotion; corporate ladders with balconies on which they can stand still, have a smoke, take a break, make a baby, enjoy themselves, before they keep climbing. Perhaps men long for this in their own way. Actually I am sure of that.

Once, when we first fell in love, I put my head in his lap on a long car ride; I remember his hands on my face, the sun, the twisting turns of a mountain road, surprising and not surprising us like our romance, and his voice, telling me that it was his biggest regret that I was so young, he feared he would lose me. Last week, we looked back at old photos and agreed we’d given each other our respective best years. Sometimes real equality is not so obvious, sometimes it takes turns, sometimes it takes almost a decade to reveal itself.

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